thehappyegg

[thehappyegg]

very strange phenomenon now that many people have learned online not to pet service dogs is that they walk by little bird and me, wave their hands at little bird, and say in a baby voice "oooohh you're so cute! you're so cute! i'm not going to pet you because i know you're working! ooohhhh puppy puppy puppy, i want to pet you but i'm not allowed~" and i have to tell them what they're doing is literally as distracting as petting her. this happens almost every single time i'm out with her.

[thehappyegg]

who keeps giving her these things

[thehappyegg]

every time…

[thehappyegg]

finally, someone for tumblr

[thehappyegg]

one profession that does need better gatekeeping is people who write or translate subtitles. brother that is not what was said.

[thehappyegg]

happy year of the snake 🐍

first embroidery of the year and I wanted to try something a little different hence sequins and beads ✨

[thehappyegg]

Literally every single Neuroscience guy I listen to on audiobooks and podcasts: Multitasking is a lie. You are not more efficient. You're just rapidly switching between tasks and doing all of them slower but your brain is tricking itself into thinking it's more efficient because you get a little dopamine reward when you activate the 'change task' neurons. And you're burning up way more glucose in the process, leaving you more tired with less done. STOP MULTITASKING. JUST DO ONE THING. PLEASE IT'S ONLY WORSENING YOUR ATTENTION SPAN. WE'RE BEGGING YOU, PLEA--

My ADHD: Don't listen to them, babydoll. You are sooooooo efficient and attractive. Whoop. You got an email. Whoop you got a text. Whoop you got a blog ask. WOW look at all the tabs open on this window. Do you even remember what they're all for? Better look through them and close the ones you're not using because you're soooo sexy and efficient. Whoop, email again.

[thehappyegg]

Merry 2000 Trained Rats, everybody

[thehappyegg]

Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle

[thehappyegg]

the historical source we have for understanding much of the early roman empire are so fucking bad. like whenever you hear any insane story about tiberius/caligula/nero/commodus/elagabalus imagine trying to put together an account of any modern figure if your only avaiable sources were tucker carlson archives and the daily mail

[thehappyegg]

[thehappyegg]

Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? It’s on the house

Peter: thank you, but I can’t

Bartender: why not

Peter:

Bartender:

Peter, trying not to give his age away: I’m pregnant

[thehappyegg]

Après tout, la mort de Jean-Marie le Pen, c'est qu'un détail de l'Histoire

[thehappyegg]

Pierre Niney as Edmond Dantès & Bastien Bouillon as Fernand de Morcerf The Count of Monte-Cristo / Le Comte de Monte-Cristo (2024) dir. Matthieu Delaporte & Alexandre de La Patellière

[thehappyegg]

I use Canva for work and I am losing my mind over this image when you search for “fellowship” and “teamwork”

idk man

[thehappyegg]

callout posts in 2014: this user is sending mean messages to people! please be warned!

callout posts in 2015: this user is stealing bones from cemeteries for witch rituals!

callout posts in 2016: this user Actually A Nazi

callout posts in 2017: this user watches an anime I don’t like

callout posts in 2018: i went through this user’s youtube like history and found a video from JonTron that they liked in 2012, proving that they’re a bad person

callout posts in 2019: this user plays E-Rated Video Games, which are meant for children, which seems pretty sus to me idk :/

callout posts in 2020: this user stole 5 gallons of purified water from the New DC Resistance Camp and was last seen headed towards Sunken Brooklyn

[thehappyegg]

oui j'vais chialax