theineffableauthor - Tumblr blog

[theineffableauthor]

I hate school. I asked who the woman in the video was and my french teacher said “your mum”. Can they do that? Why is she so mean??

[theineffableauthor]

pls consider: Crowley has a human tattoo of himself when he’s in his snake form.

(it’s drawn on - psa don’t actually draw on ur reptiles)

[theineffableauthor]

You ever have a group chat congratulating you for an insult or ”roast” and you just sit there like ” what did i say??”

[theineffableauthor]

”Guys guys guys guys guys guys guys look ok look guys??” I chant to myself, alone, in my room.

[theineffableauthor]

Tumblr mutuals Beloved bitches, manwhores and crickets, i love you all.

[theineffableauthor]

Dude, im so sorry i have terrible news. Someone was walking on right side of the pavement, so i had to walk on the left side and it disrupted my entire routine and now my entire day is ruined and my abilitity to act like a functioning human is gone.

We cant hang out anymore, so sorry man.

[theineffableauthor]

I hate rice. How can you like rice? Like, look at it. I mean. C’mon. It looks like small eggs. And it’s slimy. Everytime i eat rice i can’t helpt but imagine small slimy insects crawling out of them and into my mouth. And its SLIMY!! Im sorry i can not get over that. No food should be slimy.

[theineffableauthor]

If i was gonna h@ng myself i would do it with a waterhoose, so i could water the lawn qt the same time.

Human sprinkler.

[theineffableauthor]

“Theres plenty if fish in the sea”

I’m not a fisherman?? I dont even like fish. Why am i fishing? Fish is slimy and tastes bad. And what if i touch an octupus? Dont get me started on octopuses. Do i want to kill the fish? If not, why am i fishing? Am i fishing? If not, why would i care how many fishes there are? Also, overfishing is a big problem, I should not be fishing for no reason. Is there a reason? What is it??? WHY AM I FISHING???

[theineffableauthor]

Looking for a fic?? This is the best shit I’ve ever read

[theineffableauthor]

Crowley and Aziraphale both fell inlove with eachother at their first meeting. People in the fandom argue A LOT about who fell first and harder. But, they both did.

1. Azirphale and Crowley both fell just as hard (except if you’re counting literally). They both love eachother just as much as the other, they simply show it in diffrent ways.

2. While they might not have realised it was love when they first met, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t. Even if it wasn’t romantic love it was still love, a little more than the general love all angels have. Azirphale fell inlove with Crowley as an angel, his first meeting. Crowley might not consider that their first meeting, if he even remembers it at all. So his first meeting is the garden of eden. And well, we all know how that went.

[theineffableauthor]

there's no greater betrayal than finally starting to read a book you've had sitting for months on your shelf or your desk or your nightstand and then finding out it's bad. like. i gave you a fucking home.

[theineffableauthor]

Look what a lovely writer made!

Eeeeeeee!!!!! I hope this grows so I can roll around in it like a cat in catnip!

[theineffableauthor]

I have never been hurt this bad

[theineffableauthor]

I don’t drink water. I hate water with every atom of my soul and body. It’s disgusting and i gag merely at the thought of it. People will say ”water has no taste” Like no. No. Water has a taste and it’s horse crap mized with dish soap.

I get constant headaches, i get heatstrokes every summer, i have to take alot of vitamins but I will not drink water. I would rather die.

[theineffableauthor]

just my theory and I'd love to hear other people's ideas too but

Crowley thinks he's a Dom and Aziraphale thinks he's a sub because that's who they see themselves as. the cool one who's in charge of the situation, and the one who lives to please and serve others.

but how they see themselves and who they are are not really the same thing.

Aziraphale, who suffers from never feeling like he has control, and who is very particular about how he likes things, and who can get Crowley to do the I Was Wrong dance with little more than a Look? and Crowley who can't get anything done without going to Aziraphale to guide him through it, and who loves being bratty but ultimately always ends up backing down?

[theineffableauthor]

"aziraphale needs to do this, aziraphale needs to do that" he needs to lie back on the bookshop floor and let crowley ride his face, okay?