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[thekikayqueen]

Random

Sometimes I think I'm so ridiculously boring. I like reading, I'm interested in conversing with depth & never interested talking about people and their effing lives, at times I want to be alone, sometimes I hate noise. Yet sometimes I can be rather unpredictable. I was just thinking... Do I need to change just to please guys? Maybe the way I look pleases them but when it comes to entering a relationship, I often get fooled. Maybe they're looking for some excitement? When it comes to sex, I definitely am wayyy more into it than my partner. So maybe that's not the reason. I'm just really confused. What's wrong with me? Do I need to pretend that I'm just a slutty b*tch who knows nothing just so they would have the power to dominate me? Well, maybe that's just the case. Unintently(or not, yeah), I make them feel that I'm better than them & that makes them so furious! Aha! Male ego... Tsk!!!

[thekikayqueen]

The Happiness Code: Ten keys to being the best you can be Before I read this book, I was in a state of confusion. I really feel lost. I feel that the more I want to be the best, the more I feel worse. I was really disappointed with myself. Then on the beginning of this book, the author said that there is a huge difference between being perfect and being the best that you can be. I realized that what I wanted to be is to become perfect which is very impossible. Ever since I was a kid, I always want to please everybody. I want to be appreciated and I feel down whenever my efforts are not recognized. I don't really have a hard time making everybody to like me because I always follow rules and I'm selfless oftentimes but what hurts me the most is when my love ones take me for granted. I really feel depressed and every aspect of my life is greatly affected. This book is helping me through step by step process change how I see life and how to achieve the happiness I was longing for. True enough that happiness is a choice. And it begins with the decision that you want to be happy and actions must be taken now and not tomorrow. XOXO, Junelle-Irish

[thekikayqueen]

New Hair Color: Light Ash Blond

To date, this is my most favorite hue. So affordable! I dyed my hair all by myself. Bought the hair dye at Hortaleza and one large tube is pretty enough for my thin hair strands. ♡

[thekikayqueen]

“When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly? Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.”

Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho

[thekikayqueen]

Many people could think anything they want about you... But only a person who knows you well would understand you...

Junelle-Irish♡

[thekikayqueen]

If we only know what the future will bring, we will never make any mistake. But if we didn't make a mistake before we wouldn't be smarter and stronger today. The thing is, we can never erase the past, but we can do so much better today and in the future.

Junelle-Irish

[thekikayqueen]

Bad Boys

My mom and I had a conversation this morning. She said she prayed for me so that I could meet the man who would marry me. The one whom I can spend the rest of my life with. I was amazed because I never thought that my mother thinks that I should already settle down. I told her that I don't want to get married yet... Maybe by reaching 30, 31 or 32 but not now... She told me that by this age of 27, I should now choose The One. I told her that every relationship I had, I always thought that the person is already the one I'm going to spend the rest of my days with. Then she said that unfortunately, the man I always choose seems not to go well with what I intended our relationship to be... Well perhaps she's right. I always choose bad boys. I always believe that bad boys will change for the woman they love. Obviously that's a common misconception of girls. It's not that bad boys will always be bad boys... Possibly, they will change, but not for us girls even if we give them everything. Even if we show them how much we love them. They will change the moment they decide for themselves. And the question will always be, when will they finally decide? We will always be left hanging. So girls, my advice to you is to stop that bad boy habit... Enough with the thrill of the chase because we deserve better than that. :)

[thekikayqueen]

Self-love is the love of oneself. Loving oneself is different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. Loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself. Does it make sense? #selfie #selca #allihaveisme

[thekikayqueen]

EB Pink Flame, Revlon Honey, Etude House PK004, EB Berry Rose, Nichido Pretty Tulip, MAC Candy Yum Yum, Etude House PPK001, Nichido Dolly Pink

[thekikayqueen]

MAC Ruby Woo, Avon Red Rose, Revlon Fire and Ice, Avon Smitten Red, NYX Perfect Red, Revlon True Red

[thekikayqueen]

Feelings...

I want to get married one day... Why is everything so confusing when it should be so easy? Do I really over think? Or is it just that I'm not yet contended with what I have? I know what I want. It's very clear, but my actions are way behind making it happen. Do I really have to settle lesser from what I really deserve? I know that I'm the only one who can help myself. But why am I still here, still where I'm at few years ago? What am I afraid of? What am I waiting for? He has no idea that this is such a big deal for me. I told him a few times yet it seems like it doesn't sink in. He has no idea that I cannot get to sleep thinking about us. He always thinks everything is alright even when it isn't. He told me that we'll get married someday. But I can't see any actions to make it happen. Maybe with him, it's never gonna happen. So what should I do?

[thekikayqueen]

Confusion

Sadness. Confusion. I dont think I'm capable of enduring it some more. Exact words I was about to post on twitter. Then I realized my twitter account is linked to my Facebook account. Sometimes you just have to let it out. Though I don't want the whole world to know what I am going through. I just have to let it out by any means. I don't want my personal life to be the topic of interest but it's like I'm bursting. i'm the only one who's capable of helping myself. No other people can do that but me. I would say I wish I have the courage but that would sound weak. I don't want to be weak, but yes, I don't have the courage to stand for my decision. Sometimes I think I'm like Carrie Bradshaw in The Carrie Diaries. She's very idealistic, who tends to over think. The only difference is that for now, I can't really decide. I admire those women who decide to end something that doesn't work. I wish I'm like them. But I won't be like this forever. I'll start by making baby steps.I hope and pray that I'll be able to do this at the earliest time possible. Whew! Somehow I feel better now...

[thekikayqueen]

I Must Achieve My (Second) Dream

What if you have this dream ever since you were a child? You knew that it was the only thing that you want. It came to a point when it was almost in your hands. Then something unevitable happened. You have to give it up. You have no choice. Then you were forced to do things you don't really want. I'm just really confused, is there such thing as a second dream? All I know is that I must do something to achieve it. But then it ends up that doing something to achieve it would just make me selfish. So I just better give it up. Beside this dream that I am talking about, all I want is happiness. "Happiness" is a huge word. For me, it has a deep meaning. It comes with passion. You have to love what you do in order to achieve this. I already forgot what I wanted. Just like most people who work their butt off just to earn money. They go to work everyday because they have to and not because the want or LOVE to. I do my work just fine, but I know there's something missing. I believe that I'm capable of performing better than what I'm doing now. I don't want to take actions later. I have to do it now. Time is rumning so fast! It shouldn't be wasted. So what are the steps that must be done? First: Know what you want. Find your passion. If there's no such thing as a second dream, for sure there's still something that interests you. Second: Make a concrete goal. Set a time frame. Write it in your journal or if possible, post it in your wall so that you would be reminded all the time. Third: Do something to achieve it. Thinking about it is quite easy but doing something is the harder part. Always think that you have to start as soon as possible! Fourth: Find what will motivate you. Often there would be obstacles along the way, that's why you have to motivate yourself. Never ever give up(never again). Fifth: Pray. Be nice to people. Be patient. Love yourself. And if everything else fail just smile:) Sooner or later you will find a solution. It's much easier to think positive things when you smile.:) Following these steps, I'm sure it will NEVER come to a point wherein I'll just say, "It's too late". ♥♥♥