theladyofthedarkness

[theladyofthedarkness]

fairytales which tell you to be both kind and clever fairytales that say to be kind is to be clever and to be clever is to be kind fairytales that say the cleverest thing you can ever do is choose kindness and that cruelty or thoughtlessness are always foolish but not kindness never kindness

[theladyofthedarkness]

[theladyofthedarkness]

I think I may never be sad ever again. There is a statue entitled "Farewell to Orpheus" on my college campus. It's been there since 1968, created by a Prof. Frederic Littman that use to work at the university. It sits in the middle of a fountain, and the fountain is often full of litter. I have taken it upon myself to clean the litter out when I see it (the skimmers only come by once a week at max). But because of my style of dress, this means that bystanders see a twenty-something on their hands and knees at the edge of the fountain, sleeves rolled up, trying not to splash dirty water on their slacks while their briefcase and suit coat sit nearby. This is fine, usually. But today was Saturday Market, which means the twenty or so people in the area suddenly became hundreds. So, obviously, somebody stopped to ask what I was doing. "This," I gestured at the statue, "is Eurydice. She was the wife of Orpheus, the greatest storyteller in Greece. And this litter is disrespectful." Then, on a whim, I squinted up at them. "Do you know the story of Orpheus and Eurydice?" "No," they replied, shifting slightly to sit.

"Would you like to?"

"Sure!"

So I told them. I told them the story as I know it- and I've had a bit of practice. Orpheus, child of a wishing star, favorite of the messenger god, who had a hard-working, wonderful wife, Eurydice; his harp that could lull beasts to passivity, coax song from nymphs, and move mountains before him; and the men who, while he dreamed and composed, came to steal Eurydice away. I told of how she ran, and the water splashed up on my clothes. But I didn't care. I told of how the adder in the field bit her heel, and she died. I told of the Underworld- how Orpheus charmed the riverman, pacified Cerberus with a lullaby, and melted the hearts of the wise judges. I laughed as I remarked how lucky he was that it was winter- for Persephone was moved by his song where Hades was not. She convinced Hades to let Orpheus prove he was worthy of taking Eurydice. I tugged my coat back on, and said how Orpheus had to play and sing all the way out of the Underworld, without ever looking back to see if his beloved wife followed. And I told how, when he stopped for breath, he thought he heard her stumble and fall, and turned to help her up- but it was too late. I told the story four times after that, to four different groups, each larger than the last. And I must have cast a glance at the statue, something that said "I'm sorry, I miss you--" because when I finished my second to last retelling, a young boy piped up, perhaps seven or eight, and asked me a question that has made my day, and potentially my life: "Are you Orpheus?" I told the tale of the grieving bard so well, so convincingly, that in the eyes of a child I was telling not a story, but a memory. And while I laughed in the moment, with everyone else, I wept with gratitude and joy when I came home. This is more than I deserve, and I think I may never be sad again.

Here is the aforementioned statue, by the way.

[theladyofthedarkness]

Just realised that my guinea pigs do the same popcorn happy jumps as me when I am happy stimming. Sometimes they run through my apartment and we’re all just one big family happily stimming together.

[theladyofthedarkness]

Me: Okay, Outlook email on desktop. Time to change password

Outlook: Okie dokie! :D Sending you a confirmation number to your mobile app. :)

Me: Awesome, thanks

Me: Hmm, it’s not showing up in my app.

Outlook: That’s okay! You can click “I don’t have access to my app right now” :)

Me: Oh, okay, thanks!

Me: *click*

Outlook: Okay, so it looks like you don’t have access to the app right now! Would you like to confirm through the app instead? Or would you like me to send you a confirmation code?

Me: I just said I don’t- yeah, okay, sure. Send me a confirmation code.

Outlook: Okie-dokie! Sending you a confirmation code. It should show up soon in your app :)

Me: Okay so I just said I can’t access the app though

Outlook: Oh, that’s okay! :D Just click “confirm another way” :)

Me: ….okay

Me: *click*

Outlook: Awesome! So it looks like you don’t want to confirm using the app right now. Would you like to confirm by entering a number into your app, or would you like a confirmation code sent to your app?

Outlook: :)

Me:

Me: You know what. I’m just going to change my password on the app.

Outlook: Okay! :D

Me (on the mobile app): Okay so I’d like to change my password

Outlook (app version): Okay! :D Just sending a code to your app so you can confirm :)

Me: Okay but I’m already on the app.

Outlook: That’s okay! :D Just click “I DON’T have access to my app right now” :)

Me: I’m on the app. I’m literally- okay.

Me: *click*

Outlook: Cool! :D So you’ll need to enter this number into your app

Me: I’m not receiving these numbers on my app. None of these are showing up in my app. They aren’t showing up in my junk folder, they aren’t getting blocked, I’m just straight up not receiving them. How do I change my password WITHOUT USING THE APP TO CONFIRM

Outlook: Oh that’s easy-peasy! :D Just turn off two-factor authentication in your settings :)

Me: Okay

Outlook: :)

Me: *Turns off authentication*

Outlook: Awesome! :D Looks like you’ve turned off two-factor authentication :)

Me: ….yeah

Outlook: :)

Me:

Outlook: :)

Me:

Outlook: :)

Outlook: So if you just want to confirm that choice by entering this code into your app-

Me: OH MY GOD

Me: *deletes app, turns off phone*

Me (back on desktop): So I’d like to change my password

Outlook: Awesome! :D So if you just enter this number into your app-

Me: I cannot access the app

Outlook: Awesome! :D So if you’d prefer, we can send a code to your app-

Me: I cannot access the app

Outlook: Awesome! :D So if you can just enter this code from your app-

Me: I cannot access the app

Outlook: Oopsie-doopsie! :D Looks like there’s been a wee little whoopsie-daisy-doodle-doo verifying your account :) Now if you could just open your app-

Me: Ohhhhhhh my god

Outlook: Or download our authentication app

Me: Okay

Me: (downloads app)

Authentication app: Hi! :D

Me: Hi. I’d like to verify my desktop account.

Authentication app: Okie-dokie! :D Just log in with your email and password :)

Me: …Okay

Authentication app: Looks good to me! :D

Me: …….okay

Authentication app: :)

Me:

Authentication app: :) So what can I help you with?

Me:

Me: ….I would like. To verify my desktop account.

Authentication app: Okie-dokie! Just-

Me: I cannot access my app

Authentication app: That’s okay! :D

Me: ….okay

Authentication app: Yeah that’s what I’m here for :)

Me: okay

Authentication app: :)

Me:

Me: ….so how do I-

Authentication app: Just enter this number we sent to your authentication app-

Me: YOU ARE THE AUTHENTICATION APP

Me: YOU ARE SHOWING ME NOTHING

Authentication app: OH

Me: YEAH

Authentication app: Hmm yeah okay I see the problem

Me: DO YOU

Me: DO TOU REALLY

Authentication app: Yeah you need to confirm your account somewhere else to access me :)

Me: NO SHIT

Authentication app: Hey :( I’m only trying to help :(

Me: You’re right. Okay. I’m sorry.

Authentication app: It’s okay :)

Me: So where else can I confirm my account.

Authentication app: Oh that’s easy-peasy! :D Just open your mobile app and

Me: (slams my face directly into my desktop computer, crushing my skull and the motherboard at the exact same time and torpedoing us both directly to hell)

[theladyofthedarkness]

fnaf is such, a fascinating cultural object.

[theladyofthedarkness]

I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:

isn’t he beautiful

listen to the SOUND when he bites

and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them

[theladyofthedarkness]

THE ENTIRE WEST IS BEING PUT UP FOR SALE AND I AM BEGGING YOU TO CALL YOUR SENATORS

Trump’s budget bill has many, many things in it, but buried amongst it is the MILLIONS OF ACRES OF PUBLIC LAND FOR SALE.

This is the entirety of the Arizona state forests, the entire Cascades mountain range. Swathes of pristine desert around the national parks in Utah. On the doorstep of Jackson Hole.

THIS BILL IS BIG, BUT IT CAN BE AMENDED AND ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT PASS AS IS please.

If you have ever enjoyed the wilderness, we stand to lose it all forever.

CALLING your senators - NOT JUST IN THE WEST. ALL SENATORS, is CRUCIAL.

Outdoor alliance has a great resource for reaching out.

I don’t have a huge following but please, everywhere I have ever loved, the forests I grew up playing in, the land I got married on, is all at risk and I am begging.

[theladyofthedarkness]

There is a documentary on netflix for anyone wanting to learn more

thinking about that time my mom ordered a bottle of vitamins online and they arrived with the tamper seal broken and she was going to just take them anyway and in desperation i had to bust out the “you know they never solved the chicago tylenol murders” to get her to mail them back

[theladyofthedarkness]

[theladyofthedarkness]

REMEMBER

If you take antidepressants or similar medications, you NEED to drink a lot of water, you/we go through water a lot faster or something sciencey and can get Heat Stroke/Heat Exhaustion

[theladyofthedarkness]

cell bio professor closed out today's lecture on free-radical oxidation in mitochondria and programmed cell death by saying "you've probably all seen those commercials for fruit juice that says it's got antioxidants, which are said to prevent this sort of thing from happening, or at least slow it down. well, they don't work. this is an inevitable fact of life— this process that lets us live is also the thing that kills us, and it's why all of us will die someday. there's no escaping that. it's been with us since the dawn of eukaryotic cells; our pact with mitochondria is to the death. anyway, enjoy the rest of your friday, and remember, exam four is next week!"

[theladyofthedarkness]

For all of the northerners that stood up for Texas during our freeze and said, "Don't make fun of them, they've never dealt with this before. Their infrastructure isn't made for snow and freezing."

This one is for you.

Where I live 108°F with 80% humidity with no wind is normal.

Pacific North West is dealing historic best waves 35-40°C or 95-105°F.

First of all. Don't make fun of them for bitching about the heat. Just like Texas isn't built for a freeze and our pipes burst, Pacific North West isn't built for heat and a lot of their homes don't have AC.

If you live somewhere with a high humidity like 80+ HUMIDITY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. The "humidity makes it feel cooler" is a lie once it gets beyond a point.

If you live somewhere with a lower humidity, misters are nice to cool off outside.

Once you get over 90°F (32°C) a fan will not help you. It's just pushing around hot air. (I mean if you can't afford a small AC unit because they're expensive as hell, by all means a fan is better than nothing).

If you have pets, those portable AC units aren't safe. If your pets destroy the outtake thing, it'll leak CO2. Window units are safer.

Window AC units will let mosquitoes or other small bugs in. Sucks, but that's life.

Now is not the time to me modest. If you have to cover for religious reasons, by all means. If you don't, I've seen people wear short shorts and a swim top. It's not trashy if it keeps you from getting heat stroke.

If you do have to cover up for religious reasons, look for elephant pants or something similar. They're made with a breathable material.

Shade is better than no shade, but that shit it just diet sun after some point. Don't think shade will save you from heat stroke.

I know the "drink your water" is a fun meme now, but if you're sweating excessively you need electrolytes. Drink Gatorade, Powerade, or Pedialite PLEASE. I don't care if you're fucking sitting in one spot all day. That shit WILL save you from heat stroke.

Most importantly. RESEARCH THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEAT STROKE AND HEAT EXHAUSTION PLEASE!

If you're diabetic and can't drink Gatorade, mix water, fruit juice, and either lite salt or pink salt

If you can afford it, cover windows with thick curtains to insulate the house

If you have tile floors, lay on them with skin to tile contact. If you don't, laying your head on cool counters works too.

If the temperature where you're at is hotter than your body temperature, don't wear heat wicking clothing. Moisture wicking is safe though.

Check your medication labels. Many make you more susceptible to sun and heat

-Room temperature water will get into your body faster. This is something I learned doing marching band in high summer in Georgia, and it saved all of our asses. Sip it, don't gulp it, especially if you're getting into the red; same goes for whatever fluid you're drinking. And just in general drink during the day.

-If you are moving from an air conditioned space to an un-air conditioned space, if at all possible try to make the shift gradual. When my dad and I were working outside and in un-ac houses a few years ago, he'd turn the air down to low in the truck about ten-fifteen minutes before we got where we were going. This way your body doesn't go from low low temps to high temps. S'bad for you.

-If you can, keep your lights off during the day. Light bulbs may not generate a lot of heat, but the difference is noticeable when it gets hot enough. I literally only turn my bedroom light on in the evening when it gets too dark.

Don't be afraid to just like... pour water on yourself if you need to. The evaporation will cool you off.

Put your hand to the cement for 15 seconds. If you can't handle the heat, it'll burn your dog's paws. Don't let them walk on it.

Dogs with flat faces are more prone to heat stroke. Don't leave them out unsupervised.

Frozen fruit is delicious in water.

Wet/Cold hat/handkerchief on your head/neck will help you stay cool.

Pickle juice is great for electrolytes! You can even make pickle juice Popsicles!

Heat exhaustion is more, "drink water and get you cooled off." Heat stroke is more "Oh my god call 911."

Image Description provided by @loveize

[Image description: an infographic showing the difference between heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The graphic is labeled "Heat Dangers: First Warning." Signs of heat exhaustion: faint or dizzy, excessive sweating, cool, pale, clammy skin, rapid, weak pulse, muscle cramps. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat exhaustion, get to a cool, air-conditioned place, drink water if conscious, and take a cool shower or use cold compress. Signs of heat stroke: throbbing headache, no sweating, red, hot, dry skin, rapid, strong pulse, may lose consciousness. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat stroke, call 911. End description]

Be safe.

-fae

[theladyofthedarkness]

a lot here so I’ll leave it at this

[theladyofthedarkness]

Johanna to Katniss in that one Mockingjay scene

[theladyofthedarkness]

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing

[theladyofthedarkness]

Oh Emily Prentiss they could never make me hate you