thelovefaery

[thelovefaery]

we were meant to care and share affection. that is something we shouldn’t be keeping to ourselves. the ocean is vast and the waters welcome us. the sun and moon share their light. the fire lends us its warmth. our bodies were made to fit into the arms of one another. our arms are long enough to hold those smaller. and we are given strength to embrace bigger and heavier than what our hands could carry. our hearts make room for more as love grows. always.

[thelovefaery]

in june, the moon sings

and the flowers dance.

the girl lingers

with love in hand—

a heart so pure,

a lover of nature.

she dances with the flowers,

and the creatures love her.

in june, she blooms.

[thelovefaery]

at night i look at the sky and i see the ocean. the clouds are the waves and the stars spell out i love you and i’m holding your hand.

[thelovefaery]

im hurt, and this wound will last forever. my heart will carry this ache even if it has stopped beating. my mind will look for the words you failed to speak. even if my body has entered eternal rest.

[thelovefaery]

and now everytime it rains i hear your name.. saying i love you. i want to keep a diary with only words that you’ve said to me. i love you, i love you. and i think about you and write your name in the air, in every surface in this world. i kiss it. i love you.

[thelovefaery]

i wanna be the soul that comforts you to sleep whenever the nightmares creep. i wanna be the starry-eyed lover who gives you hope. i wanna be the lips that heal your scars away the moment they touch your skin. i wanna be the bright morning when you seek energy and the calm midnight when you crave silence. i wanna be no more than the last missing element of your letters and melodies. the gentle palms that cup your face. if love can induce selfishness, then my sole desire is to be half of your soul.

[thelovefaery]

i feel even the faintest brush of your hair on my skin, and i know it’s you. the sun comes and goes—still, your name blooms flowers on the tip of my tongue. your lingering scent begs for a moment with me, and my body fades into you without hesitation..

[thelovefaery]

“we used to be a lot of things.” i never knew how gut-wrenching a line from a thrilling movie could get. then it hit me. change really is terrifying. one day you will outgrow your favorite song or favorite book, like it was just nothing but words you used to know. or outgrow your favorite sweater, and the next thing you know, you’re giving it to someone else. someone who will fit into the sweater you used to never not wear when you were 13. maybe one day you and your friends won’t laugh at the same harmless jokes anymore. or hear their voice, or hear anything from them at all. one day you’re eating with a table full of people, and the next you’re alone. there’s only one plate, and there’s only one person. i’m terrified of change. one day you just realize that maybe there is no forever but the memories you make..

[thelovefaery]

when it rains, the earth weeps with me, and the rainbow after is the hope i hold on to. i let the waves of melancholy drown me cause i know the sun is always there to share its light with me even when i’m deep down.

what’s the point of keeping the ocean all to myself when the current is this strong? i will let the sea be. i will make friends with the creatures of the water. i will swim through the waves, then i will get up and my hands will reach for the land.

[thelovefaery]

i wish to be as kind.

i wish to cradle hope like a newborn of mine.

but my upbringing speaks otherwise. i am evil and vile.

i have no more strength than a baby worm. i let my emotions get the better of me.

i let the rage burn in me. i let it burn me.

i am no tender being.. but my heart aches for even when my arms are numb, i still dig up inside me to find at least an ounce of benignancy.

i swim through the violent waves to reach for the softness i had yearned for even before i was born.

yet i always find myself back in my wrecked room. crumpled on the floor, with a pen in my hand and only a piece of paper to tell the world .. i am not a bad person.

[thelovefaery]

my mother and i were like best friends who grew apart, loathed each other at some point in our lives, but still cared deeply for one another. i guess that would be a bit reasonable since the night right before i was born, we were fighting for who’s going to live and who’s going to have to let go of their life. but my mom—who had it in her to never give up—fought for the both of us. she took that risk for me. and now, we’re both here.

some days we’d argue… she’d say the meanest things known to mankind, and i’d loathe her for that with every fiber of my being. worse, we’d ignore each other. but it would never last. what would last were the memories of moments we’d share our laughter, us at the table with our favorite dinner, adobo and misua. her bringing my lunch to school. these memories live in my mind rent-free so that there’d be no more room for the bad ones.

as i grew with her, i got a better grasp of her personality, her character. i understood her better than anyone else. i no longer feel loathful even when she’d shoot daggers with her words. because they are just words to me. i now know how her heart truly feels. i know the words she meant to say. i know her as i love her. on some days, she’s a stranger, yet throughout my entire existence, she’s a mother. and i knew her.

to my mom, who used to kiss me goodnight and sing me to sleep. to my mom, who used to do my hair before she took me to school. to my mom, who used to ask for a kiss on the cheek before she left for work. happy mother’s day, mommy.

[thelovefaery]

to be naturally soft and sweet—to not have to fight everything i am. to not have to hold back the monster inside me. to not have a monster inside me. to be gentle and kind as an instinct… was all i ever wanted to be.

[thelovefaery]

i am not meant for a relationship.. i am meant to meet you on a random day at the beach. you will see me collect seashells wearing a white dress. my feet bare. and after a small conversation, i will leave such an impression on you, and you will look for me wherever you go, but i’ll be nowhere to be found. and even on your busy days, you will think of me, and i will appear before your eyes, but physically, i am absent. i will live in your mind. i’ll become a fragment of your dreams. a dainty memory.

[thelovefaery]

when i pushed your love away, there hasn't been a second where i didn't hope for you to reach out to me one more time . . one last time.

but all i wish for you now is peace.

[thelovefaery]

maybe one thing about me is that i cant move on from everything, and maybe it isnt such a bad thing. maybe i was born to remember. to keep fragments of people ive met in my heart. i remember the way they talk. the way they liked this certain keychain. the day i went to the beach with them. that night they let me borrow their lip gloss. i keep these memories and cradle them in the same arms that once held the people in it. my heart is an antique shop full of trinkets of love and memories. of people i know, even of strangers i used to hold but now are free from my grips. except, i wouldn’t trade these memories for anything.

[thelovefaery]

you visit an old place you used to really love, and the memories of you there come to mind. those flashbacks are the love that followed you wherever, reunited with the love that stayed there in that certain place, where the love first bloomed …

[thelovefaery]

me core