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[thelovelydiane]

Btw if anyone has any recommendations for video games with Risque Content let me know. I have a few I'd like to review but I adore being recommended stuff.

[thelovelydiane]

FIGHT ANGEL REVIEW

Why yes, I am a fighting game buff. How could you tell?

For my first review I wanted something absolutely spectacular, something to really announce myself as a connoisseur of pornography. Then I saw Fight Angel and realized I needed to review this instead. Fight Angel Special Edition - not to be confused with Fight Angel Complete which adds a few more customisation options, is sure to be an EVO event soon enough. Any day now. Released on Steam in August of 2019 and as far as I can tell nowhere else - Fight Angel is a 2D fighting game with 3D graphics that you stick on when Rumble Roses simply isn't enough. The first thing you notice when booting up Fight Angel is that the UI is HORRIBLE. In the settings to turn the music down you must hit left, because of course you do, but when you do so you're brought back to the menu on the left so you must go back in for each notch you want to bring it down. The horrible UX carries over to the character editor of course. The editor is one of the biggest drawing points, being able to make the girl of your dreams and have her kick the shit out of people. You can't navigate the character creator with a controller, the "eyelash style" option does literally nothing, menus just go the wrong way sometimes, it's almost impressive what a mess it is. The options themselves are about as in-depth as you'd expect at least. The anime style is fine. There are… really off-putting models in the backgrounds of the stages though. Some are children too? which. Buddy you should NOT be here.

My character's name was COOLGALÍN by the way. Leave her alone, she has Alexandria's Genesis.

I played the arcade mode and (a portion) of the story mode in easy - my reasoning was quite sound - oh my fucking god I'm really playing a porn fighting game. The game's mediocre at best. No character really feels unique, there's not a whole lot that's interesting going on. At least you can look at boobs though. …If you download a patch, of course. This game doesn't come with nudity pre-packaged (despite a warning for nudity when you open the steam page). When you try to unequip a characters bra in the menu you're given a message telling you you're not allowed to do that, and the clothes tearing only goes as far as the underwear. So yeah, the game's quite tame.

The arcade mode doesn't offer much. The final boss - the Akuma or Sagat - is Una. I don't have a picture of her on-hand and I'm not installing this stupid game again. When you fight her there's a creepy ambient track playing to show how fucked up and creepy she is, really get the atmosphere going. Sadly, the normal shitty midi keeps looking in the background, I guess they hardcoded the midi into the fights or something. It's also an excruciatingly short loop. Your reward for beating the arcade mode is you get to see the character you beat it with dance. It's not good.

This might come as a shock, but the story mode leaves something to be desired. It sucks and not in a fun way. Rather than a cheesy over the top story, what I expected, it's the most boring and milquetoast thing I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Yulia, our protagonist, entered the FIGHT ANGEL TOURNAMENT, and not much else happens. As far as I got at least, my patience was wearing thin at this point so I stopped. The plot consists of conversations between characters in their default poses. The main menu theme is playing. Text unceremoniously appears beneath them. There is nothing else.

This game sucks, dude. There's no love put in anywhere, not for fighting games, not for porn games, probably not for living either. If, for some reason, you do genuinely want a fighting game to jack off to then I'm sure there's some Street Fighter nude mods you could download. They're bound to be more fun and sexier than whatever the fuck this is.

I guess I need a way to rate these games - let's go with these three categories for now. GAMEPLAY: 3/10, it's a bad fighting game. WRITING: 1/10, genuinely would be better if it was non-existent. HOTNESS: 2/10, you can't jerk off to this. There aren't even boobs without a patch.