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thelynnonbard · 6 years

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24 Invaluable Skills To Learn For Free Online This Year

Here’s an easy resolution: This stuff is all free as long as you have access to a computer, and the skills you learn will be invaluable in your career, and/or life in general.

1. Become awesome at Excel.

Chandoo is one of many gracious Excel experts who wants to share their knowledge with the world. Excel excellence is one of those skills that will improve your chances of getting a good job instantly, and it will continue to prove invaluable over the course of your career. What are you waiting for?

2. Learn how to code.

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Perhaps no other skill you can learn for free online has as much potential to lead to a lucrative career. Want to build a site for your startup? Want to build the next big app? Want to get hired at a place like BuzzFeed? You should learn to code. There are a lot of places that offer free or cheap online coding tutorials, but I recommend Code Academy for their breadth and innovative program. If you want to try a more traditional route, Harvard offers its excellent Introduction to Computer Science course online for free.

3. Make a dynamic website.

You could use a pre-existing template or blogging service, or you could learn Ruby on Rails and probably change your life forever. Here’s an extremely helpful long list of free Ruby learning tools that includes everything from Rails for Zombies to Learn Ruby The Hard Way. Go! Ruby! Some basic programming experience, like one of the courses above, might be helpful (but not necessarily required if you’re patient with yourself).

4. Learn to make a mobile game.

If you’re not interested in coding anything other than fun game apps, you could trythis course from the University of Reading. It promises to teach you how to build a game in Java, even if you don’t have programming experience! If you want to make a truly great game, you might want to read/listen up on Game Theory first.

5. Start reading faster.

Spreeder is a free online program that will improve your reading skill and comprehension no matter how old you are. With enough practice, you could learn to double, triple, or even quadruple the speed at which you read passages currently, which is basically like adding years to your life.

6. Learn a language!

With Duolingo, you can learn Spanish, French, Portuguese, Italian, or English (from any of the above or more). There’s a mobile app and a website, and the extensive courses are completely free.

Full disclosure: BuzzFeed and other websites are in a partnership with DuoLingo, but they did not pay or ask for this placement.

7. Pickle your own vegetables.

Tired of your farmer’s market haul going bad before you use it all? Or do you just love tangy pickled veggies? You too can pickle like a pro thanks to SkillShare and Travis Grillo.

8. Improve your public speaking skills.

You can take the University of Washington’s Intro to Public Speaking for free online. Once you learn a few tricks of the trade, you’ll be able to go into situations like being asked to present at a company meeting or giving a presentation in class without nearly as much fear and loathing.

9. Get a basic handle of statistics.

UC Berkeley put a stats intro class on iTunes. Once you know how to understand the numbers yourself, you’ll never read a biased “news” article the same way again — 100% of authors of this post agree!

10. Understand basic psychology.

Knowing the basics of psych will bring context to your understanding of yourself, the dynamics of your family and friendships, what’s really going on with your coworkers, and the woes and wonders of society in general. Yale University has its Intro to Psychology lectures online for free.

11. Make your own music.

Step one: Learn how to play guitar: Justin Guitar is a fine and free place to start learning chords and the basic skills you’ll need to be able to play guitar — from there, it’s up to you, but once you know the basics, just looking up tabs for your favorite songs and learning them on your own is how many young guitar players get their start (plus it’s an excellent party trick).

Step two: A delightful free voice lesson from Berklee College Of Music.

Step three: Have you always thought you had an inner TSwift? Berklee College of Music offers an Introduction to Songwriting course completely for free online. The course is six weeks long, and by the end of the lesson you’ll have at least one completed song.

Step four: Lifehacker’s basics of music production will help you put it all together once you have the skills down! You’ll be recording your own music, ready to share with your valentine or the entire world, in no time!

12. Learn to negotiate.

Let Stanford’s Stan Christensen explain how to negotiate in business and your personal life, managing relationships for your personal gain and not letting yourself be steamrolled. There are a lot of football metaphors and it’s great.

13. Stop hating math.

If you struggled with math throughout school and now have trouble applying it in real-world situations when it crops up, try Saylor.org’s Real World Math course. It will reteach you basic math skills as they apply IRL. Very helpful!

14. Start drawing!

All kids draw — so why do we become so afraid of it as adults? Everyone should feel comfortable with a sketchbook and pencil, and sketching is a wonderful way to express your creativity. DrawSpace is a great place to start. (I also highly recommend the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain if you can drop a few dollars for a used copy.)

15. Make your own animated GIF.

BuzzFeed’s own Katie Notopoulos has a great, simple guide to making an animated GIF without Photoshop. This is all you need to be the king or queen of Tumblr or your favorite email chains.

16. Appreciate jazz.

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Have you never really “gotten” jazz? If you want to be able to participate in conversations at fancy parties and/or just add some context to your appreciation of all music, try this free online course from UT Austin.

17. Write well.

Macalester College’s lecture series is excellent. If you’re more interested in journalism, try Wikiversity’s course selection.

18. Get better at using Photoshop.

Another invaluable skill that will get you places in your career, learning Photoshop can be as fun as watching the hilarious videos on You Suck At Photoshop or as serious as this extensive Udemy training course (focused on photo retouching).

19. Take decent pictures.

Lifehacker’s basics of photography might be a good place to start. Learn how your camera works, the basic of composition, and editing images in post-production. If you finish that and you’re not sure what to do next, here’s a short course on displaying and sharing your digital photographs.

20. Learn to knit.

Instructables has a great course by a woman who is herself an online-taught knitter. You’ll be making baby hats and cute scarves before this winter’s over!

21. Get started with investing in stocks.

If you are lucky enough to have a regular income, you should start learning about savings and investment now. Investopedia has a ton of online resources, including this free stocks basics course. Invest away!

22. Clean your house in a short amount of time.

Unf$#k Your Habitat has a great emergency cleaning guide for when your mother-in-law springs a surprise visit on you. While you’re over there, the entire blog is good for getting organized and clean in the long term, not just in “emergencies.” You’ll be happier for it.

23. Start practicing yoga.

Most cities have free community classes (try just searching Google or inquiring at your local yoga studio), or if you’re more comfortable trying yoga at home, YogaGlohas a great 15-day trial and Yome is a compendium of 100% free yoga videos. If you’re already familiar with basic yoga positions but you need an easy way to practice at home, I recommend YogaTailor’s free trial as well.

24. Tie your shoelaces more efficiently.

It’s simple and just imagine the minutes of your life you’ll save!

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thelynnonbard · 7 years

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Holy crap! That's amazing!

MY STEVEN UNIVERSE INSPIRED WALL IS DONE

Holy crap I spent all summer on this, lot of hard work but it more than paid off

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thelynnonbard · 7 years

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This was written around December 2014-January 2015 for a final poem to go through workshop in Advanced Poetry Class. Here is the written poem in case you can’t hear my voice clearly from that craptastic audio piece: Out of Time By Vic __________________ I glance at the clock: 9:05pm (give or take a minute) I wonder if this piece of my life like the other pieces written thus far would be what the world would witness as a voice in the making. I cannot stop creeping ever closer the fear-brushing force of not the inevitable cold but what comes after: the purge from the sand. I wonder if someone would read this a hundred years after my thread has been cut and carry me with them to new life, new stories, new ideas new ripple in someone’s world Today, I am nothing but a voice I feel nothing for my health yet I fear for my time I only have so much before the inevitable cold becomes silence.

#bardwrites #poetry #out of time #original work #audio work

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thelynnonbard · 7 years

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From How I Became a Famous Novelist by Steve Hely

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thelynnonbard · 7 years

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someone: how do you forget to eat?

me, hyperfocused all day, not aware of or caring about anything besides what I’m doing: what

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thelynnonbard · 7 years

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I remember a quote from the welcome to night vale live show 'the debate' Faceless old woman: "marcus, you have a coffee table made of human bones." Marcus: "yea and i need that coffee table" Cecil: "ok lets get back to the-" Marcus: "but really, i need it"

Skeleton Coffee Table by Skelemental

This is Full Throttle, a rather unusual skeleton coffee table, and Skelemental’s first piece of furniture. Full size skeleton busts, one being strangled by the other. Bronze skeletons on a brushed steel base. Limited edition of just three sculptures. via:skullappreciationsociety

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thelynnonbard · 7 years

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This other thing I’ll need to revise is the cold openings for the radioplays, something to set the tone before the opening credits. Some are a scene, some are an audiolog (like the Andrew ryan ad), and some I didn’t know what to do with but held onto them anyway. ~music~ Andrew Ryan – I am Andrew Ryan. ~pause~ And I'm here to ask you a question. Are you tired of the government taking your hard-earned money only to give it to parasite welfare or waste on wars you have no say in participating? If you say yes, I have a proposition for you. Come to Rapture. Make a future for you and your loved ones. What you earn, you keep in your pocket. Join the like-minded individual like yourself and make your mark here in Rapture. Services for transport are available at one of my bathesphere ports in New York, Maine, and Massachusetts. Rapture. We're waiting for you. ((optional: Rapture. Your prosperity awaits you.)) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Anchor #1-This is Fletcher Adams with the World Global New News where the news is always new. Our top story tonight: local fishermen contracted by the Wharfmen's fisheries company has found what seems to be ruins in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Scientists and Anthropologists speculate that this unusual structure suggests either an underwater civilization or a secret military facility that collapsed under the pressures of the ocean. Anchor #2-You sure it ain't Atlantis, Fletcher? ~haha~ Anchor #1- Millionaire Thomas Stein, son of Colton Stein of the Stein Real Estate Company plans the excavate where this structure come from after architects concluded that this is a piece of a bigger structure. Thomas Stein wants to quote “make a safe haven for like-minded individuals and what better place than a resort away from it all”. A survey excavation is scheduled for next month with construction planned for the year 1985. Anchor #2-In other news, Nobel prize winner Dr. Eleanor Lamb ~fade to silence~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~boat bell and sounds of ocean~ Fisherman #1 – Ya cast that net yet?Fisherman #2 – Only everyday, ya bum. Fisherman #1 – Hey! I adjusted the sail and checked the motor. What kind of fisherman is afraid of heights? Fisherman #2 – A reasonable phobia. Fisherman #1 – What are ya, a dictionary? Fisherman #2 – Ya think fishing is mah first choice? I had plans. Big plans. Was gonna make like the Ford or Morgan of my business. Fisherman #1 – Let me guess, no one would buy it. Fisherman #2 – It's all 'fancy tech and robuts'. Apparently, a degree in Auto-mechanics isn't enough anymore. Ya gotta be smart in finance, 'compooter' shit, business savvy, get 'connects' and all friendly with hoity-toitys. Fisherman #1 – What happened to 'make like the Ford or Morgan'? Fisherman #2 – Ya like working with me? Fisherman #1 – I rather work with the shark. Fisherman #2 – Exactly. Fisherman #1 – What's that there? On the water. Fisherman #2 – Looks like a wreck. Or a building. A wrecked building. Fisherman #1 – Must've been here for years.Fisherman #2 – Could it be Atlantis? Fisherman #1 – I'm gonna ignore that radio this in. This is massive.

#bioshock #bardwriting #bioshock radioplay #new years

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thelynnonbard · 7 years

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As the year is drawing to a close (yea, clique start of new year's reflection post), I decided to add a new tradition that I hope to continue along with cooking people's favorite food to eat in the first minute of the new year as well as picking and playing a mood-setting song, I'm going to post up the works I've been doing this past year to show my progress, whether they were ever published/exposed or not. First up is the uncompleted script for Episode 1 of a Bioshock radioplay that I was working on for the past year. I'll complete this in the next year but I want to post up the version that I won't be able to use. I'm rewriting the first episode and the cold opening because the version I submitted to a group, I realized too late is run by someone who’s a plagerizing weasel. After some exhausting drama, I decided to walk out, send my original writing to the post for time-stamping, revise what I sent which is this script, some cold openings, and character names (luckily I didn't submit the outline of the story so I can still use it), and post my work for everyone to see. I’ll explain in a different post (maybe tomorrow) about what happened.

Alan – Logdate November 12th, 1983. Alan Greensburg speaking on behalf of this expedition and survey. My employer Thomas Stein of the Stein Real Estate commissioned and sponsored this mission, and as of last minute, requests to lead and observe the survey. I would like to take a moment to thank Captain Lotman and Fleet 109 of the United States Navy for escorting our team through this mission.

Thomas – It was not last minute.

Alan – Mr. Stein, I'm making a log entry.

Thomas – I know. I just want you to get it right.

Alan - ~sigh~ Thomas Stein planned to lead the expedition the whole time.

Thomas – Thank you. Alan - ~mumbling~ Apparently in secret. ~louder~ Our team comprise of myself who will oversee this project.

Thomas – And me.

Alan – And Mr. Stein.

Thomas – That's Mr. Stein to y-Smartass don't sign the paychecks.

Alan – Of course not sir. I work as assistant to Mr. Stein and...I suppose I do a bit of everything. Anyway, we have Dr. Elliot Iglesias, an oceanographer from the University of Maryland. Debra Henderson, the leading architect of the Stein Real Estate Company. Luitenent General Harold Ermey, our mechanic engineer from out sister location down in Arizona, and our public relations manager Veronica Felt who insisted that a public documentation of out expedition is good PR and Mr. Stein agrees.

Thomas – That isn't what her script says.

Alan – Log Entries aren't scripted, sir.

Thomas – Well they should. Would make this audio thing more exciting. Alan – Alan Greensburg, signing off.

Alan – Logdate November 12th, 1983 time: 1100 hours. Currently in the engineer room with Lieutenant General Harold Ermey, our chief mechanical engineer.

Harold – Don't be shoving your devices in my face while I'm working. Don't you have stuff to do? Alan – I'm doing the logdates for the survey and giving brief introductions to key associates. Sir, tell me a bit about yourself. What did you do for a living? Harold – You know what I do. Alan – I mean, in the recorder. Harold – Not much to tell. I was working down in Arizona and now I'm here. Alan – You were also an Navy Veteran from Vietnam, which I'd like to add, thank you for your service. Harold – A better thank you would've been a better exit package. Though based on your stance and the way your walk, you would think that too. Alan – Umm anyways, what do you think we'll find down there? Harold – My best guess would be a thermal or nuclear powerplant, possibly the former due to it being underwater but you can't be too sure. Depending on the size of the structure and when it was built, this building might need to be stripped, reorganized, and rewired. Could also be an expensive goosechase. Alan – Thank you sir.

__________________________

~Submarine sounds~

Alan – Steady speed, making good timing. Let me know when the sonar picks up anything.

Crew – Yes sir.

Alan – Is the Captain with the navigator? Crew – No sir. With your employer. Alan – Oh boy...Mr. Curtis, hold the fort until I or the Captain gets back. ~Sound: walking on metal floor~ Thomas - ~in the distance with a bit of echo* How much farther is it anyway?!

Captain – If yer be waitin' a moment without swaukin' ev'ry few minutes, I'd find out sooner.

Thomas – What do I pay you for? Alan – Mr. Stein, all this yelling will attract sharks. Thomas – Al, I'm not some superstitious puss. They can't hear us from in here.....can they? Alan – Best person to ask is in the mess hall, Mr. Stein.

Thomas – See what you can do about getting an ETA on the arrival. ~sounds of footsteps~

Captain – Alan, why do you deal with his crap? You never even take lip from subordinates.

Alan – That's behind me now, Captain. For now, I'm just happy to be employed.

~~~~ Elliot – Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

Thomas – Enough, Ms. Iglesias, we may have been college friends but this is still a business trip.

Elliot – Are we trying to impress the fishes? I thought I'd come to tell you a bit of research I found now that we have time.

Thomas – Shoot.

Elliot – Most of what I have comprise of news clippings and records of “bathesphere” travel. There was a transcript of the congressional hearing with one Andrew Ryan but that along with any rough drafts of the schematics were seized as government property and inaccessible to the public.

Thomas – Like some big cover-up? Next, you'll tell me they bug the submarine.

Elliot – I tell you only what I found, Tom.

Thomas – Which isn't much Elly.

Elliot – The “bathesphere records, whatever a bathesphere is, indicated that all, and I mean ALL, travel completely stopped sometime in the winter of '59. There's a note of 'lost communication' and 'orders to shut down operations'.

________________________

~echoing sounds of dripping and walking on the floor*

?-This place is massive...

Dee - I see corrosive damage, water damage, there's most likely leaks and flooded areas, we might need a pump. Lots of barnacles.

?- Signs? ?- What signs?

?- Those over there.

?- “Ryan doesn't own us.” “Let Us Rise”

?- Look up there. Pod transports canceled across the board.

?- Something's up. I don't like this.

Veronica- A story is in this room. People are kept from leaving the city. This is good PR when we rebuild.

?- We're talking about forty-ish years of damage and neglect. Surprised that there's even lights on.

?– Could be nuclear.

Harold – Thermal. Nuclear would've leaked by now.

?- Whoever said it didn't?

Crew – Sir, one of the entries is flooded.

Thomas – Then find another way around?

Alan – Survey the area. See about where we can pump the water out.

Thomas – Al, that'll take too long. We're on a tight schedule here.

Alan – Haste make waste, sir. Also, we have two groups in different directions already looking for alternative routes.

Dee – Alan.

Alan – And there we go. What did you find, Miss Henderson?

Dee - Good news and bad news.

Alan – Surprise me.

Dee – Good news: There 's a way around, through the maintenance area and we found a directory. The engine room is in Hephaestus or the southern part of the city. a long ways from here.

Alan – And the bad news?

Harold – Do you not smell it? The stench of morbid decay. A vile taste in the air like a battlefield...or a morgue.

Dee – He means there are lots of dead bodies around. The crew are getting spooked.

~eerie sounds like a wail/moaning~

? - What was that?

Splicer - ~singing~ Never know how much I love you.

? - what the fuck?

Splicer – Never know how much I care.

? - I thought this city was abandoned.

? - Could be just the crew dicking around.

? - ~screaming and gargling sound~

Splicer – When I put my arms around you.

? - Oh gawd, what the hell is that?

? - Here's comes someone. Hey, what's happening?

Crew - A woman...she fell from the ceiling. Hooks for hands.

? - Seriously, stop it. This isn't funny anymore.

? - Sir, he's covered in blood.

Crew – Tim, Everett....my crew...sliced open.

Harold - He's going into shellshock.

~tinking sounds heard~

? - you hear that?

Crew - It's her. Climbing the ceiling like a spider!

? - Anyone brought a gun?

? - I did.

? - We'll talk about gun lisenses later.

~faster tinking and louder~

Splicer – I get a fever that's so hard to bare.

? - There!

? - ~gunshot~

? - Didya get her?

? - ~tinking and then sound of landing on floor~

? - What is that?

? - Is that human?

Veronica - Um hello? Where are you from?

? - She just killed some of the crew and you want to make chit-chat?

Splicer - ~groan~ Is it someone new?

Veronica – Um yes. We are from the surface. We're here to-

Splicer – The surface...Blue skies, smiling at me.

Harold – She's off her knocker(nutter)

Thomas – Mam, this building is now the property of Stein Real Estate, so if you would kindly piss off.

Alan – Where would she go? We're underwater. Splicer – Kindly. Kindly killed Poseidon. Kindly left the city to cry, to bleed, to rot.

Dee – Yea, we're done here. Lady, if you'll come with me, we'll escort you to the proper authorities.

Splicer - ~slash sound and gargling sound~

Alan – Ms. Henderson! Shit!

? - Someone fire!

? - ~gun fire then tinking sound~

? - She's back on the ceiling!

? - I got her. ~gun fire and then thud~

? - Got her. Son of a bitch.

? - It's gonna take hours, maybe days to get a new architect.

? - That is literally the least of our worries! Something, someoneS (emphasis on the 'S') is down here. People are dead!

? - Death does put a hamper on labor prospects, let alone development.

? - So it's one crazy person that somehow got stuck down here. Doesn't mean we stop the survey.

Harold – I say we call for more militant reenforcements. One thing I learned in 'Nam, there's never just one.

~on cue, multiple tinking sounds in the distance~

Various Crew – I'm gone. I quit. You're on your own.

Thomas – Come back here! You still have a job to do.

Various Crew – I ain't staying. You out of your goddamn mind. We're gone.

Thomas – No one gets paid if you leave

~tinking sound~

? - Back to the shuttle! ~running sounds and chase music~

? - There it-Oh shit!

Splicer – Why do you run? Why do they always run?

? - ~electrical sounds, like ripping of wire and metal scratching~

? - They're tearing up the shuttle!

? - ~gun fire and then click click~

? - That ain't good.

? - I didn't expect an army of nightmarte to come raining down on us.

? - This way.

? - ~death sounds and running sounds~

? - Damage control is gonna be a nightmare when we get back.

? - If we get back.

____________________________

? - They're leaving.

? - I can see that, why are they leaving?

? - This whole survey is a disaster.

? - Maybe they're afraid of our guns?

? - We have one gun. They have their own guns. Do the math.

? - ~groaning sound (Big Daddy) faint~

? - I say we get out of here.

? - Couldn't agree more. Come back with some legal authority.

? - What cop has juridiction in the middle of the Atlantic?

~groaning~

? - Do you hear that?

? - Don't care. Let's...what happened to the shuttle?

? - It's torn apart.

? - Damn hook-slashing hippies.

_____________________________

? - ~silence except for dripping~

? - ~suddenly~ My daddy's smarter than Einstein, stronger than Hercules, and lights a fire with a snap of his finger.

? - ~during~ Ahh!

? - The Hell?!

? - Over there. It's some sort of vendor.

? - For what?

? - “Gather's Garden. Splice up the party room the new power made with trusted Adam formula.”

? - 'Adam'?

? - “Now available. Individual or packs of Eve.”

#bardwriting #bioshock #bioshock radioplay #year of writing

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