themajesticzebracorn

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egg

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Can’t stop using the AI text bot to come up with Drag Race monologues

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Just ate an entire pear that was so good and so juicy i started gnawing on it with both hands like an animal and the face my supervisor made when he passed by my desk while I was absolutely consumed by my pear fueled bacchanal was Something i have never seen someone look so tired and also so upset and also also so envious

[themajesticzebracorn]

Imagine your OTP/3+ are West Virginia coal miners. They work side by side day by day, until one day the main shaft caves in. They catch each other’s eyes just as the lantern light gutters out and leaves them in darkness. They die holding hands, choking on the afterdamp (poisonous gases) of the explosion.

(Bonus: When they die, they catch a glance of their next life together)

Inspired by verse one of Vienna Teng's In Another Life. 

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Why the fuck did Amazon just send me and this one other guy in our building a free sample package of Coke Zero

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stop what you’re doing right now and watch a 33 year old bat get help with flying

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got my november trends mixed up so i accidentally nutted 50k times and didn't write a single word

[themajesticzebracorn]

scrolling twitter today and then coming over here is like walking out of a burning building and then walking into the calm remains of a building that burnt down 5 years ago and has been reclaimed by nature.

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She balled so hard they banned her from ballin.