themarvelwitch - Tumblr blog

[themarvelwitch]

Walker Scobell and Logan Lerman at the Hulu on Disney+ launch event

[themarvelwitch]

The spirit of Diogenes is alive and well

[themarvelwitch]

the thing about me is i get hannibal and hamilton confused

[themarvelwitch]

disturbed by how little ppl acknowledge the secondary health risks of vampire bites. if your vampire lover is drinking your blood you MUST be up to date on your tetanus shot. puncture wounds are at especially high risk for tetanus infections. just because your partner was born in 1312 doesn’t mean you have to die like it.

moreover they should be prepping the bite point with an alcohol wipe.

and while I’m at it, I’ve noticed a blithe disregard for health & safety when it comes to blood pacts. can’t believe I have to say this but you should absolutely NOT be cutting your palm open with the pocket knife from your belt holster (??????)

if you’re expecting to be in a blood pact/oath situation please just pick up some sterile finger lancets from the pharmacy. cannot stress this all enough.

[themarvelwitch]

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

[themarvelwitch]

lord the peasants are so loud today

[themarvelwitch]

[themarvelwitch]

[themarvelwitch]

sure I could become a slut. but you see, I'm scared

[themarvelwitch]

[themarvelwitch]

Ok now we have a booping feature I propose to tumblr next ides of March we have a stabbing counter and the person with the most stabs gets crowned Caesar and the blog with the most stabbings gets crowned Brutus

[themarvelwitch]

Apples are so fucked up you can get two from the same pile ans one tastes more like an apple than anything youve ever eaten and the other tastes like water poisoned by pharaohs

[themarvelwitch]

fucking love when I'm on a call with someone and they start to do a little errand or go somewhere else and they say "and you're coming with me" like. absolutely I am let's go on an adventure I've been spirited away

[themarvelwitch]

dmv: can i have you birth certificate

me: i dont have it but you can trust! 😁✌️

dmv: ok! 😁✌️here is your license

me: its so small and cute! 😳

dmv: just like you! ☺️

[themarvelwitch]

I don't care what official translations say, I chose to believe "Et tu, Brute?" translates to "What the FUCK, Brutus?"

[themarvelwitch]

It's reallly annoying that oversleeping is like. 100% inefficient. There is no benefit you gain, you basically just lost a bunch of hours from your life. You're not even less sleepy afterwards