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[themeggem]

Final Reflection

Ten weeks is almost up, a chapter in my life coming to a close. It’s funny, my cycle started when I arrived in Torquay and now as I prepare to finish up loose ends, my cycle finishes, a new one beginning  as I step towards a new chapter in my life. It’s like my body is ready to let go.

 The ‘end’ feels a little open, uncertain and exciting. When I’m asked where to next? I’m never really sure at first. My decisiveness flaring up perhaps. But it’s okay, it allows for a blank page, I have the opportunity to carve out my own way, while being open to possibilities. It feels liberating in ways, a freedom to take my own steps without the (sometimes strict) guidance of schooling and university. The best part about it is that I feel ready to spread my wings and fly. I’ve already began shaking off the dust.

Before diving into the journey, I wanted to thank and feel gratitude for Matty, who carved out time in his busy life to listen to me, to be present and to guide me throughout the internship. For having the patience as I became familiar with the new surroundings, activities and tasks. And for providing me with both the initial opportunity but also giving me the freedom to take the reins for B recertification and allowing me to input any ideas or recommendations. Importantly, Matty helped me to become more in touch with my intuition and my resistance, by allowing me to write honest reflections and motivate me to journal more frequently. The experience has been a gift, and it is something I will remember and cherish.  

The big ole’ Journey

Like most things in life, this journey came with its own ups and downs. I feel like I’m getting the hang of riding out these roller coaster of emotions and situations thanks to COVID. But more thanks to being present. I can better recognise the feelings that rise within me better than before. I used to be consumed by my emotions, but now I just see them as travellers sometimes stopping for a little while, but never moving in. By not attaching to my emotions, my observation skills both within but outside have heightened. As part of the learning process I wanted to simply observe more practical things, but also how others connect, and react to situations. It has been insightful and further sparked my drive to run my own business, and create stronger connections with others. Seeing the flexibility and the way you can balance your life in a way that nourishes your wellbeing seems so important and something I want to stay true to. Self care is vital if I want to thrive. 

Through observing myself, I have leaned in to everything B Corp! I enjoyed the structure and guidelines that came with the recertification process. It was very ‘heady’, repetition started to set in at times, but when I began to feel settled, new tasks and ideas put me in a new direction.

Taking the initiative to connect with B Lab excited me, it showed that I was pretty keen to be involved and wanted to take a deeper dive into learning what it’s all about. I want to continue strengthening this connection, inspired to join Melbourne’s B committee to further extend my network within the B Corp community. Something I am interested in doing is definitely B Corp consulting, it seems to be a growing movement and it aligns to my values and how I see businesses being key to transformation and change that is so vitally needed. It’s a goal I have in mind, and I will be looking at ways I can improve my consulting skills and gain a deeper understanding of the B Corp world. 

Opening my own business has always been an idea that lingers and nudges me in times of inspiration. I feel prepared to take the risk, it’s just understanding how to take the risk exactly, and who it will be with. 

The future is filled with uncertainties, I guess it always is. Covid in a way has smashed to pieces preconceived ideas of what steps I should be taking after graduating. It’s left an open book of opportunities and failures. I feel myself floating a little. This year sometimes feels like a weird dream. Everything stopped in its tracks. Every expectation pulled from under my feet. How am I supposed to ‘do’ life now? What does this mean for my life? It made me realise nothing was for certain. That what I do now doesn’t mean I’m locked in for life. You never are. It brings me a stronger sense of intention as I realise my core purpose is to be. To simply be. The rest is just extra. That in being you are already more than enough. So whatever you choose, It cannot truly define who you are. So I say only do what allows you to be. To be, authentic self. From there is where we may thrive. To be there takes a lot of courage, takes bravery. Sometimes I get so confused about who I truly am, the societal constructs that have been bestowed upon us cause us to morph and play roles to feel some sense of belonging. Sometimes it feels more comfortable to be in the roles, to accept what has been dealt. But then I do things that feel right and it brings me back home.

It feels right when helping others to be seen, to be understood and to feel comfortable in being themselves. It feels right when I can help improve how we manage our lifestyles and our impact on the environment, when awareness grows, when we feel a deeper connection to our surroundings and when we try to restore some balance. I stated in my goals earlier that I wanted to gain a clearer understanding of where I wanted to direct my passion, but I think somewhere in the depths, I knew all along… To discover with others how we might improve our fundamental connections to all beings. From rocks, gum trees and incredible oceanic mammals. These ecosystems are our existence. How can we live in better harmony? How can we use our minds, our ideas, or creations to repair and rebalance? How can we sit closer together and listen presently to others and the world that wraps around us?

Lately I have sensed a flare of creative energy, I want to paint, dance, draw, I want to create my own content. I imagine a business that changes the way we understand the story of our clothes, where my fellow humans are no consumer in my eyes but are connecting, working together towards a common goal in loving and nurturing our beautiful planet, using technology and industry as a force for good. Continuing to propel the sparked awareness of improved localisation as Covid meets us eye to eye. We needed each other then, and we need each other now if we are going to nurture and repair the damage that has been and is being done. I see freedom in running my own business, allowing my gypsy travel bug to flare, to carve out my imagination and bring it to life and to make my own money off my own back. 

I may be inexperienced, I do have many doubts, it feels uncomfortable at times. But I don’t see how I’m going to change, how I’m going to grow if I don’t step into the deep end and start learning how to swim. 

[themeggem]

Week 4-5

With anticipation to move to the next phase of the U theory process I was excited to see how our thinking, feeling and inspiration from the last 3 weeks would begin to come alive as we began to co-create a prototype. 

Letting go

However, before the prototyping, we did something that was quite unusual to me. We let go of everything that happened in the first 3 weeks of the internship. It became even clearer that this kind of process was much more about your intuition, how you felt and being present with the experience than any kind of planning process that I had been involved in. It was refreshing. To see what surfaced, while letting go of the past, I walked through the local flora and fauna. Bushy and barky, everything makes sense as I walk along the trails where gum trees, wattle trees, ferns and many more creatures and plants co-become in an ecosystem that supports one another in a harmonious way. Inspired by the books I have recently been reading authored by Indigenous Australians, I visioned past elders and tribes being one with the land, understanding their deep relationships and responsibility with Country. They have knowledge and wisdom that goes beyond the western understanding of things, it runs deeper. Yet it has been predominantly ignored. I believe that it will be key in helping to restore balance within our communities and our relationship with nature. This is where diversity and inclusion is so vital, not only to have diverse perspectives but listen to those who are not heard enough. Who are not given the platforms to speak and to help make the needed changes. 

This draw towards indigenous culture and their belief system resonates with me at multiple levels. But being passionate about amplifying their voices may come from feeling isolated and different from the rest of the cohort in high school as I lost all my hair. I realise in many social settings I am always trying to include those that look a little isolated from the group. I feel a strong sense of empathy towards them.

Walking dialogue

The walking dialogue wasn’t easy for me. Talking for more than 10 minutes straight felt a bit daunting. I am not used to speaking in such a way and being listened to so intently. But I was aware that I was putting some pressure on myself to say certain things, or sound ‘right’.  This is a pattern that I have picked up along the way. It has highlighted to me that I need to show more compassion and kindness towards myself. This pressure can block me from flowing with my words and create a lot of nerves and even anxiety for me. 

However, the walking was incredibly helpful. Multitasking on the phone had taken away the focus of solely speaking, and so it started to feel more organic. It felt like I was just walking with a friend on a sunny day, diffusing the pressure that sometimes came within an office environment. Slowly words began to flow, I began to dig deeper and feel more in touch with my true being. 

Moving Forward

Moving forward, and knowing that I am leading is triggering. Negative thoughts start to seep through, I am more aware of them now, but they still begin to impact how I feel. It creates anxiety, and it feels like this  force just wanting me to turn away from it all. But I know that I can push through it, I have done it before, and I will do it again. Each time it makes me a little stronger. I have come quite a long way, but I still have a lot of growth to do in terms of public speaking.  

I am excited to see how it unfolds, and to expand our field, meeting new and interesting people. I think this will be a major learning experience for me that I am sure will create further opportunities for growth. Linking to one of my overarching goals at the beginning of the internship, it will help to direct my passions, revealing what I enjoy, what areas I want to grow in and what areas are not necessarily for me. 

Throughout this I want to remind myself that I am more than enough, to show compassion and kindness towards yourself and others and to be present, especially as we go through this roller coaster of a time. 

[themeggem]

The Flame

I felt a flame within me.

It came out like sparks,

Spitting and pricking. 

anger maybe,

I thought rightly so.

It was about me.

But this ‘me’,

Oh this ‘me’,

It’s tearing us apart.

I stepped back.

I saw a world of we.

Places and people flowed and weaved.

A magnificent mess,

Yet as simple as life and death.

Our roots have always been there,

Our longing connection,

It’s already there.

We just need to remember.

The flame remained,

But now it’s like the camp site fire,

Warming your nose and feet in the crisp cold.

There’s so much fresh air too.

Space to breathe,

To slow down,

To listen and understand. 

I see people working together,

Huddling like penguins,

Warming each others souls.

They are creating and manifesting wondrous ideas,

That brings us closer,

And looks ‘me’ in the eyes.

I realise this,

has always been the why.

MG 

[themeggem]

Weeks 1-3, The Experience

To have the opportunity to work for Happy Spaces, means a lot to me. It’s the gateway to realising where I want to direct my passions, learning how an idea can develop to help solve problems at a systematic level. The main reason I was guided into choosing Happy Spaces was because it was a B corporation, part of a community of enterprises where the business is used as a tool not only to make profits, but to strive for a positive impact in terms of people and planet.

 Honestly, in the beginning I didn’t know much about it, but as I discovered the various businesses that proudly showed their B corp certification I realised that there was a strong sense of community, and that these businesses were making tangible impacts. Importantly, they are part of a movement that is pushing the boundaries, carving out a new kind of economy, one that cares about people, planet and it’s future. I recognised that this is where I could manifest my passions. In other words, walk the talk. 

I tried not to have expectations, but naturally I had some. Many of them however, were based a lot on what it would look like on my resume, or how it would help me to get a job. I was excited about the experience but I was thinking way beyond it. After only 3 weeks, I have gained a whole new perspective on what it means to be immersed in the experience, to enjoy the process and to take things slowly, listening to my intuition, my feelings and any resistance that comes up. Now, it feels more like personal growth, and in a way has diminished this idea that my professional development is this separate entity. I see now that they feed into each other, where being true to yourself is where things in your life, be it your career, mindset, or relationships start to thrive. 

The shift

Already, I can feel a shift within me. The journaling has helped me to feel lighter, moving some of my messy thoughts onto paper. It has provided clarity and made me realise this is an opportunity for self growth. Instead of looking at it as a means to an end, I am already starting to see it as a unique process. 

Learning about the U theory and being part of such a process is teaching me to slow down and immerse myself in the experience of creating. I have some unlearning to do, my usual mindset and behaviour when working on projects and ideas is focusing on how efficiently I can get it done before the deadline. Leaving little room for reflection and feeling what might feel right and whether there is any resistance. This kind of behaviour is what has caused tension, stress and anxiety in the past. Working on this project through the U theory process has truly diffused so much of the usual tension when working on something significant. Instead, I feel much calmer and even balanced. I believe this is due to journaling, giving myself the space to breathe, reflect and working on tasks that I actually feel like doing. It feels like I am starting to become a little more in touch with my intuition. 

I speak a lot about my passion, I had some idea, but I never explicitly knew what it was or how I wanted to direct it. I care deeply about our planet, I believe every single living being deserves a dignified life and that our natural resources should be consumed mindfully and graciously. Watching the Economics of Happiness, I felt a deeper passion, a connection of what truly needs to change in order to sustain our incredible home. Our current globalised economy causes many organisations to focus merely on its bottom line, financial growth. The desire for consistent growth comes at the expense of depleting vital and now rare resources. For me the message is clear, if we do not systematically change the way our economy functions our future will severely suffer. This experience has reignited my passion at an even deeper level, where I am truly excited to see where it leads me. 

These last two weeks of research has also made me realise that people’s wellbeing is key to helping with this systematic shift. The wellbeing of people reflects in our organisations, our communities and how we live. Reading about the GNH and learning about Happy Spaces' purpose highlighted the importance of holistic wellbeing and building healthy, connected communities in order to address major issues. It is something I am keen to explore further, applying it to my own small business as well. Personally, it has also inspired me to better connect with my local community. I am already part of the local ACF group, but I would love to help with a local community veggie patch as well.

Key concepts and utilising them as a guiding tool

U theory

U theory has challenged what I know about how ideas, and processes evolve. But in a good way. I knew when choosing a business like Happy Spaces over a large corporation, that I was going to get different. While I’m not new to some of the messaging behind U theory, I found it difficult to see how it is applied in a business/project setting. However, now that I am starting to see the process unfold, while being present within the space, I recognise that U theory is much more about the experience, it’s about listening carefully and deeply to what’s authentic and true to you. I have some unlearning to do, my usual mindset and behaviour when working on projects and ideas is focusing on how efficiently I can get it done before the deadline. This kind of behaviour is what has caused tension, stress and anxiety in the past. Because of this I have sensed some resistance in the form of anticipation. However, working on this project through the lens of U theory has truly diffused so much of the usual tension when working on something significant. Instead, I feel much calmer and even balanced. I believe this is due to journaling, giving myself the space to breathe, reflect and working on tasks that I actually feel like doing. It feels like I am starting to become a little more in touch with my intuition. 

From this I have formed a goal, to reflect often, to actively listen, and to open my heart and mind to any feelings that might surface. Throughout the process I want to continue reflecting on the overall difference in how I would usually feel working on assignments or projects to how I feel now, and seeing how it impacts creativity, ideas, connections and how we approach particular things. I want to practice on being present so I can fully immerse myself within the experience, utilising the U theory as a guidance.  

A take away for me is to explore U theory further, seeing how I can apply it to my own business and projects that I work on throughout my life. It will be a valuable tool, so I am grateful to have been exposed to it. 

The GNH Index

The GNH Index could be a powerful tool to help improve harmony and balance in peoples lives, communities, organisations and even countries. In terms of leading the B Corp Chapter I think that we can utilise the 9 domains as guidance, learning and identifying what areas the community may be lacking and the symptoms that come from that, and how B corps within the area may help to focus on improving these areas. In this way, B corps and other enterprises can be better organised and aligned to the communities needs, while also creating business opportunities. When looking at things holistically a healthy balance is more likely to emerge. A harmony that our planet badly needs in order to sustain itself. 

Final Thoughts

I feel inspired, already this experience has reignited my passion, intuitively, it feels right. Much of the research interested me, and has motivated me to learn more about it, especially in terms of how I could apply it to my own business. I am excited about helping to create and lead the B corp surf coast chapter and the recertification, where I would love to see ideas embedded within the Economics of Happiness and Bhutan’s Global Happiness Index come to life and guide us throughout the process. I hope to learn both practical but importantly personal skills, already experiencing personal growth. It is difficult at times, working from home however, I am incredibly grateful too, that I have the time to reflect deeply and to listen to what I feel like, rather than having to force things. I know that this placement will be so valuable, but now it means more to me than simply something to put on my resume, it feels more like a stepping stone to strengthening my connection with my being, my authentic self. I feel such hope for us, for my life, and for our beautiful planet, our home.