themissingnumbers - Tumblr blog

[themissingnumbers]

Updated looks and references for Blue, Leaf, Fire, and Glitchy will be uploaded over the next few days.

This ended up being more of an undertaking than I'd expected it to be, as this had started with the idea of just redoing their lineup- it ended up spiraling into a bigger thing, though. Not all details and information will be able to be posted yet due to spoilers, but I hope you'll enjoy what's there regardless. I put a lot of work into this and the improvement compared to their old references is really satisfying to me to see.

Being started as a lineup, by the way, their heights and proportions next to each other are accurate, arranged from shortest to tallest. Once the individual ones go up, I'll probably put the unblocked lineup here for reference as well.

I'm not trying to blow smoke up my own ass hyping up a series of references- this was just a weeks worth of hard work that I'm really, really proud of, and I hope you'll enjoy em.

[themissingnumbers]

"GLITCHY" RED TAJIRI

Height: 6'2 Pronouns: He/It Home Region: Kanto Team: ????????, ??????, ?????????, ??????, ???????, ?????????

A disheveled man in a twisted realm who claims to be Red- yes, THE Red, despite bearing no resemblance in appearance or personality. He somehow seems to possess knowledge of things he shouldn't know, and an unnerving ability to do that which should be impossible. His body appears unstable, and though the same could be said of his behaviors... the odd man acts and talks as if he's an old friend of yours, and always seems relaxed around you- showing off his loud and passionate personality, and always bearing a Cheshire grin.

[Transcription of design notes and color hex values under the cut.]

Hair: #181418

Skin: #fbf3ef (main) + #c6b7d2 (veins/eyebags, multiply) + #76658c (blush) + #4291fe (airbrush overlay)

Neck bruised and veiny.

Eyes: #ffffff (sclera) + #ffffff, #ff0d00 (iris, red and SMALL amount of white)

NO SHADING. Don't outline iris!

Bluish mouth natural. (#605173, #3b3049)

Alt: red (#ff0d00)

Glitches (red/yellow/white) always visible on body, NOT CLOTHES. (Hidden for body ref)

How I do his glitches:

Use any method to make basic glitch effects of any color.

New clipping layer over glitches, set color layer effect. (Fill: #ff0d00)

Merge.

New clipping layer again, layer effect Hard Mix OR Color Burn Layer. Whichever looks best. (Fill: #ff0d00)

(If there's no #ffffff or #fff800, manually add lines and boxes to base layer of these colors.)

This should result in his distinct glitch colors of red/white/yellow/black.

Merge again

Clip onto glitched area (optional)

Set glitch layer as Glow Dodge-- or whatever gives the best looking effect. Pick with your heart!

Note for outfits:

If details like the back of a shirt or underside of shoes aren't specified, they're plain and colored like the front/top.

Shirt: #3c3942

Belt: #0e0e10 + #ecedf1

Pants: #687998, #9fabc2 (airbrush for fade)

Shoes: #8e4a4f + #ffffff, #ebecf0, #d1d2d6, #8a8b90

Shoes are in AWFUL condition. In the image RED is where holes are- you'd normally see through them, done like this for contrast in reference.

Shirt, jacket: #3c3942, #25222b

Belt: #0e0e10 + #ecedf1

Vest, shoes, gloves: #8e4a4f + #ffffff, #ebecf0, #d1d2d6, #8a8b90

Stains: #634145 (multiply, 60%)

Back of Jacket + Patches: #e5e5a2 + #ffffff, #25222b + #8e4a4f, #521d21 + #d1d2d6, #8a8b90

ALT PALETTE (only for this outfit)

Yo.

Look, I'm not here to dick around with a buncha cryptic bullshit. I'd like to think I'm a pretty open book, yknow-

I just think that hiding this one would be really fucking funny. Trust me- you'll find out soon.

A lot sooner than you'd think.

General Note:

Details of these forms can vary based on circumstance. This is more like examples and a style guides than a concrete reference- I've tried to note every key part for each.

Hue over Red's body, not over amalgam: #ff0d00

Skin: #fbf3ef (main) + #c6b7d2 (veins/eyebags, multiply) + #76658c (blush) + #4291fe (airbrush overlay)

Hair: #181418

Eyes: #ffffff, #ff0d00

NO Shading!

Don't outline iris! "Animalistic" look in eyes.

Blood stains, multiply #900700

Mouth: #ff0d00

Amalgamated parts can be parts of anything summonable with the Old Man Glitch, use one of these palettes:

1: #76658c, #181418, #c6b7d2, #c8afa3

2: #ff0d00, #181418, #ffffff, #ffff00

Glitching is far more extreme in this form.

Unobscured gore for reference:

Bones, Flesh: #ffffff, #ff0d00, #a50800 Heart: #bd1a2a Liver: #5c1612 Spleen: #942f53 Intestines: #C6a88f, #d4ac96, #dabdac Pancreas: #c8b26c Diaphragm: #efdcdc Throat: #efdcdc, #c2a5b0 Lungs: #dc9ea3, #b16c72 Stomach: #d4ac96

Hey. That's private. :/

[themissingnumbers]

BLUE GARY OAK

Height: 5'4 Pronouns: He/Him Home Region: Kanto Casual Team: Jolteon, Pidgeot (Otto), Exeggutor, Gyarados, Alakazam, Arcanine (Akira) Blue has several other Pokemon kept in frequent rotation for more competitive battles: Machamp, Aerodactyl, Heracross, Rhypherior, and Tyranitar.

Once, Blue was a notorious local bully. But after the rude young boy lost his short-lived championship title to his neighbor and rival, Red, he seemed to recede into his own troubled mind, turning his back on the world. Dark periods never last forever, though- soon enough he began to straighten his life out, taking on the responsibility of becoming the Leader of Viridian Gym, and later, taking years away from home to see the world and find himself.

Nowadays, he's become widely respected and considered on equal footing with his childhood rival once again. A budding Pokemon Researcher, dedicated Gym Leader, and passionate trainer- though he still hasn't lost the cocky attitude, Blue's grown up into a new man. Still, he never quite forgets about the past, and sometimes it still drags him back down.

[Transcription of design notes and color hex values under the cut.]

Hair: #b78443 (main) + #8c5e32, #dd9c50

Hair is multicolored. These aren't highlights, but streaks.

Skin: #faded0 (main) + #f9efe9 (old scars) + #daa489 (freckles - multiply, airbrush) + #e59e99, #d4837d (deep/new scars)

Fresh cuts vary- most on torso/thighs, and left arm.

Eyes: #ffffff, #d6e5f1 (sclera, shaded) + #7a5723, #976f3f (iris, brown) + #008eff (iris, blue - color dodge over the brown.)

Sectoral heterochromia.

Inside of mouth has cooler colors. (#9e556c, #bd82a6)

Necklace + Earrings: #9398b0, #c9cbd7

Always wearing necklace + small hoop earrings.

Note for outfits:

If details like the back of a shirt or underside of shoes aren't specified, they're plain and colored like the front/top.

Pants/choker/bracelet: #171318, #231e24

Shirt: #284fb8, #587be1

Boots: #414046 + #57565c, #323137 + #76757b, #221d22

Bandages: #eff0f5

Keystone: #caccd8, #9398b0 + #c071ff, #7199ff, #71fff2, #8cff71, #fffea3 + #0f0370 (multiply)

White overlay for shine.

Pants + Belt: #bb9765, #171318, #caccd8

Shirt + Jacket: #414046 + #57565c, #323137 + #76757b, #221d22 (greys) + #e4c49b, (tan) + #fbf8f3 (white)

White tanktop under jacket.

General Note:

Details of these forms can vary based on circumstance. This is more like examples and a style guides than a concrete reference- I've tried to note every key part for each.

SORRY!

YOU HAVE NOT YET UNLOCKED THIS INFORMATION.

THIS IMAGE WILL BE FULLY REVEALED WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER:

"N A M I D A"

[themissingnumbers]

LEAF AOYAMA

Height: 5'7 Pronouns: She/Her Home Region: Kanto Team: Dragonite, Espeon, Slowbro, Marowak, Clefable, Banette (UNWANTED)

A young woman who's passionate about researching Pokemon, especially those of legend. If there's one thing that matters to her more than her studies, it's ensuring the safety of those around her at all costs. Though often reserved, she's headstrong, intelligent, and friendly when given the chance to shine. Next to nothing is known about her history- all she's said voluntarily is that at the age of 11, she was adopted by the Yuuji family, and that she received the third starter from Professor Oak when they were given to the dexholders. Strangely, official records, though obscure, point to her disappearance and presumed death many years ago. Even now, she still likes to vanish for days at a time.

[Transcription of design notes and color hex values under the cut.]

Hair: #9a714b (main) + #614024, #ffffff

Skin: #f9f2ec (main) + #da8987

Eyes: #ffffff, #e7f3f1 (sclera, shaded) + #836b58 (iris, brown) + #53938a (iris, green) + #ffffff, #ff0d00 (pupils)

Hazel eyes- stylized to brown over green. Pupils white with small hint of red. Never black.

Normal Mouth !!! (#b75250, #ce7d7b)

Markings are burn-like. Got rid of chain markings.

Note for outfits:

If details like the back of a shirt or underside of shoes aren't specified, they're plain and colored like the front/top.

Fire + Leaf: eye shade = lineart color 75%

NO shade on pupils

Jacket/shoes: #94d9a2 (main) + #5ba375, #cff7d4

Shirt/shoes: #16131a

Shorts/socks: #c96266 (main) + #e4999e

Necklace: #fec200

Zippers: #83838c

Camisole shirt.

Palette: #54b059, #65dc6a, #16131a, #050507

Colors used throughout full outfit.

Tank top with shoulder length gloves.

General Note:

Details of these forms can vary based on circumstance. This is more like examples and a style guides than a concrete reference- I've tried to note every key part for each.

sorry.

its not time to see this yet.

come back later.

once you learn what "SORROW" really means.

[themissingnumbers]

((Will be doing the asks for ??? soon, I'm just sick as a dog and have been incapable of doing much besides sleeping this past week, but trust me, ill be getting to it soon.))

[themissingnumbers]

"FIRE" RED YUUJI

Height: 6'0 Pronouns: He/Him Home Region: Kanto Team: Pikachu, Charizard, Blastoise, Venusaur, Lapras, Snorlax

Said to be the strongest Pokemon Trainer in the world, Red's rise to fame after defeating Team Rocket and the Indigo League set him on a path to greatness. But that was years ago- Soon after his victory, the boy vanished into the snowy peaks of Mount Silver, and has, since then, only appeared at major battling events or establishments- always determined to defend his title as the "very best." Due to his reclusive and silent nature, nobody knows much about him- not even his closest friends and family. But every time he vanishes and appears again, it's always from that same mountain, his gaze duller at every return.

[Transcription of design notes and color hex values under the cut.]

Hair: #633c2e (main) + #402318

Skin: #eeddd6 (main) + #6e6e8e (airbrush, hard light) + #343456, #19182f ([REDACTED] - multiply) + #fec200, #ffee01 (golds)

Eyes: #ffffff, #fff1c2 (sclera, shading) + #5c311c, #2e160b (iris) + #fec200, #ffee01 (pupils, golds)

Gold pupils. Can also be white in certain circumstances but pupils are never black.

Mouth: Bluish-blackish-greyish? (#171723, #2d2d40)

[REDACTED INFORMATION]

WHAT REMAINS HIDDEN IS HIDDEN FOR A REASON.

Note for outfits:

If details like the back of a shirt or underside of shoes aren't specified, they're plain and colored like the front/top.

Fire + Leaf: eye shade = lineart color 75%

NO shade on pupils

Hat/shirt/shoes: #c0412e, #fbf9fa

Sweater/gloves/shoes: #26252a, #111114, #43434d

Pants: #7fa3b9 (main) + #3e6780

Belt: #edc843, #d08b15 + #c5c3c4, #959394

Palette: #c0412e, #fbf9fa, #26252a, #111114, #43434d

Colors used throughout full outfit.

Back of jacket says "KANTO CHAMPION"

Shoes are structured like hiking or working boots.

Belt: #edc843, #d08b15 + #c5c3c4, #959394

General Note:

Details of these forms can vary based on circumstance. This is more like examples and a style guides than a concrete reference- I've tried to note every key part for each.

REMEMBER WELL THAT IGNORANCE IS BLISS.

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW CAN'T HURT YOU.

IT IS NOT WORTH IT TO TEAR AWAY THE VEIL.

SUCH THINGS ARE IN PLACE FOR A REASON.

LET THE PAST STAY BURIED.

LET THE STITCHES STAY CLOSED.

WOUNDS LIKE THESE ONLY REOPEN WHEN FORCED.

YOU'D NEVER HURT HIM LIKE THAT.

OF THIS, I AM SURE.

[themissingnumbers]

[IM GOING TO THROW UP]

[themissingnumbers]

*tap tap*

*tap*

Hey this thing workin? Ohp! Yep seems like it is.

Heya. Howdy. Howsitgoin.

Anyways, I bet y'all are real tired of just sitting here doing nothing while watchin a 12 year old go through the most horrific pain imaginable (lol guess she shoulda listened. had it comin huh?). Mus' be real borin waiting until the big guys upstairs are done with maintenance huh?

Oo!I gottan idea- You guys wanna do somethin different? Something a little more fun than just Sittin and Waitin for something new to happen-I mean hell anythings probably funner than that eh? So whaddya say?

[??? Is available for Questions.]

[themissingnumbers]

HOW IT FEELS TO DISAPPEAR: DESCENT

Note: while id usually coin toss on a 50/50 poll, this one feels fair to utilize both. WARNINGS: Disturbing Imagery, Self Harm FIRST || PREV | NEXT READ THE STORY ON AO3 [Truth] / [Ask your own question]

You watch the ghost uneasily, pulling Eevee closer to you. Her question doesn't make sense, but...

Your mind wanders back to that young voice. The one calling out to you on the wind, whispers that sounded like a child's... Is that what she means...?

... You nod slowly.

"... Good. This must be why your Pokemon loves you...." she breathes. You watch as she turns to walk away.

An impulse flares up inside of you. You can't stand to let another ghost leave you confused.

"Wait," you call to her, voice raising as she initially seems to ignore you. "DAISY!"

She stops just short of fading into the black.

You tense, dread welling up in your chest. Still, though, you force your words out as a wavering yell.

"Why- Why is this happening?!"

Your single plea hangs heavy in the air. The void feels all the more suffocating for it, and you swear you can feel the weight of it all bearing down on you, threatening to crush and swallow you whole.

The ghost turns to face you, an almost taunting smile tearing open and spreading across her face.

"... Why don't you go and see for yourself?"

A wave of fatigue suddenly washes over you.

Before you even get the chance to think, your knees buckle, and you collapse to the floor.

...

...

Your head is throbbing. That's the first thing you're able to notice.

The second is the feeling of cold, tile floor underneath you.

The third is something small and furry batting at your nose.

Your eyes flutter open. Even with the dim lights of the environment, it takes a moment for your vision to adjust enough to make out your surroundings. As you focus in, the hardest thing to miss is what you register first- Eevee, sitting in front of you with its ears pressed flat against its head. It paws at your nose, seemingly attempting to wake you. Fortunately, once it notices you opening your eyes, it relaxes a bit, stepping aside and shimmying under one of your limp arms.

As you fully wake, you prop yourself up on one elbow and lift your head to look around. You know for certain you aren't where you blacked out at, but it takes a moment for it to sink in that you're...

Oh.

Tiled floors. Dim lights. Headstones surround you from every side. A gentle purple coloring to every piece of your surroundings.

It's all the familiar sights of the Pokemon Tower.

You hold on to Eevee, shakily pushing yourself to a sitting position. A part of you dully hopes that maybe... Maybe, this has all been a bad dream. Maybe you just passed out after finding the Eevee. You try desperately to rationalize it all in your mind, how and why you could have ended up in this place that you never liked nor wanted to visit. This place that you only ever bothered with for the sake of your friend, and to play the hero.

But you already know in your rational mind that your desperate attempts to explain this to yourself are pointless.

After all, you're still wearing the jacket.

You clutch Eevee closer to your chest as you struggle to your feet. You reach up, re-adjusting and securing your beloved hat. Eevee clings onto you as you try to straighten yourself out, smoothing your dress and new jacket out.

You know very well you're only doing this to avoid facing the place you've wound up in, 'cause in the back of your mind, you keep noticing more and more details that give away how much worse the part of the tower you've awoken in is than you first realized.

You've only stepped foot in this area once, and that was only because you had to. Even the idea of it made you uneasy- you know that it's only gossip and rumors, but... It always seemed just plausible enough to make you want to steer completely clear of the entire graveyard.

You couldn't help it- death always unsettled you. That one day, any living thing could stop breathing, stop thinking, stop existing, and you'd never really know what happened after- other than them being buried, decaying, and eventually forgotten.

... Children all through Kanto loved to echo the ghost stories surrounding this place, and yeah, maybe they had gotten to you. Malicious and mischievous spirits were one thing- you'd seen those, fought them even. Ghost-types were rare, but not unheard of. Not the sort of thing that kids would tell around campfires in an attempt to scare you, not in this day and age, where any trainer worth their salt could easily catch a Pokemon like a Ghastly, Haunter, Gengar...

No, it was the real rumors that scared you. Horror stories.

A song with tones that drove kids your age to illness, madness, suicide. Grotesque white hands that changed shape into that of your Pokemon and loved ones, just to torment you. A black ghost unlike any Pokemon whose curse could end your life faster than you could even draw a final breath. Whispers of a massive Haunter revered once as a God.

But through all of the wild and chilling tales about Lavender Town that echoed through Kanto, it was the simplest one that had always made your skin crawl most.

They say that once, they buried a human on the top floor of the Tower.

The floor you're standing on right now.

You feel nauseous at the thought that somehow, someway, after encountering honest-to-the-Gods ghosts, you'd suddenly been dropped here of all places.

You don't want to play these games anymore. You've gone along with it for long enough. Though you see the path through the graves laid out before you, lit dimly by candles and the white glow you've come to associate with those damn ghosts, you refuse to keep carrying on. You don't want to. You need to go home.

You turn around, clinging to Eevee with a bitter determination to go down the stairs and out of this damn graveyard.

... But there's no staircase. No opening. No way out. Not even a trace.

You run up to the stone wall where it should've been, nearly slamming your body against it. Eevee crawls onto your shoulders as you desperately pound your fists against the hard stone, moving back and forth- as if some illusion should drop, as if some barrier will break, as if something would happen. Your eyes are starting to water, the thought emerging in the back of your mind that you're trapped here.

You can't be- you can't be, you can't be, you can't be you can't be you can't be you can't. Your Pokemon are powerful- they could break through by force! You reach into your bag by instinct, hoping to get one of your most powerful partners' Pokeballs- Dragonite, Venusaur, maybe Clefable- anything, anything.

All your hand hits is Eevee's blanket. Your bag is empty. You left your Pokeballs- your team, at home.

Your eyes and throat start to sting as angry, frustrated tears well up and burn. How could you be so stupid- taking Eevee with, but none of your most loyal companions?!

You slam your hands against the stone wall one more time, unthinking, hard enough to make it fucking hurt. A frustrated, sobbing scream rips through your throat. The hot tears run down your face, and you let your head thud against the wall as you go limp, searing pain shooting from your hands down your arms. The feeling of Eevee nuzzling your cheek no longer does anything to soothe you through your self-directed anger.

You heave a few deep breaths, before whirling around, clenching your now-bruising fists and yelling out into the sea of headstones.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!"

Squeezing your eyes shut, you feel the gazes and quiet laughter of ghosts surround and burn into you. You pull on your hair hard enough to make your scalp hurt, before charging forward into the open pathway of graves.

"FINE. FINE! Whatever gets this OVER with," you growl, storming past the distant forms of spirits that you can't be bothered to look at any more than from the corners of your eyes. The robes make them resemble the tower's Channelers, but hell if you care anymore.

Eevee trembles from its perch on your shoulder, and you look down, staring at the blooming purple on the sides of your hands. You gingerly rub them, trying to soothe the pain. Some of the ire inside you dissipates as you move, and you dully start to regret hurting yourself like that...

Another reason to the list of why you should keep your temper in check, is your only bitter thought.

When you lift your head to pay attention to the path of tombstones laid out for you, though, every thought screeches to a halt.

There, at the end, like a light in the darkness that you've been needing.

It's Blue.

Oh my Gods, you think, you could sob in relief at just the sight of your friend. It's Blue, it's Blue- really, genuinely Blue, in full color, flesh and blood, tangible and visible and audible and breathing and alive and real. You nearly break into a sprint towards him, relief washing over you and sending all that dread knotted up in your stomach far, far away.

"Blue- Blue!" you choke out, skidding to a stop right behind him. You open your mouth, about to let every word and cry and every ounce of joy you feel seeing someone you truly know here, living and intact and not white, not pale, he's colorful, it's him, it's him, it's...

Your words die in your mouth when you realize the state he's in.

Your tunnel vision rapidly fades away. He's... not okay. No, something's wrong. Not with him, you hope- he looks fine, but...

He's crying. You hear the quiet, gasping sobs. His shoulders are shaking. He's practically curled into a ball, his hands over his ears and gripping his hair, his knees to his chest, his head lowered and staring straight at the floor.

"Please," you hear him whimper, "stop- please, make it stop- please, please, just leave me alone..."

... It's not the floor he's staring at. You manage to pull your gaze away from him to realize what he's knelt in front of.

It's a grave- one far bigger than the rest. The headstone is unmarked, but shouldered on both sides by statues of Pokemon. A rectangular slab juts out of the ground, too... You recognize it from the only time you'd come up here. You'd battled Team Rocket, you remember... Then you'd found Mr. Fuji over this grave, hoping to soothe the angry Marowak's spirit...

You'd always assumed this grave was hers. It hadn't made sense to you that you'd found her on the floor below, but you'd rationalized that by assuming the ghosts here just wandered. But thinking of it, if she'd died recently, then a grave like that couldn't have been made so quickly- certainly not with Team Rocket around. And it had been far too big for just a Marowak...

You put a hand over your mouth, swallowing down the taste of bile at the implications.

Whose grave was this? Why was Blue here...?

Your mind is starting to wander, you realize. You force yourself to reel those thoughts in. You can swallow your own horror, your anger, your confusion for a moment- even now, you can't let your own emotions make your friend's problems worse. You'd already hurt him enough before.

"I don't want this. I didn't want this."

His hushed, broken voice breaks your heart. You need to do something, you tell yourself. He needs help. You're not even sure he's noticed that you're here, but you can't just stand here.

[themissingnumbers]

[HI I FINALLY DID THE THIS. missing numbers stories are now on AO3!! currently ive posted Postgame, Palette Glitch (with some small edits. smiles), and each part of HIFTD up to this point all in one place! i'll likely write more stuff and post there in the future so. keep an eye out if you wanna!]

[themissingnumbers]

HOW IT FEELS TO DISAPPEAR: DESCENT

WARNINGS: Brief description of Disassociation/Unreality. FIRST || PREV | NEXT [Talk to the Woman.]

The house itself is intriguing. You can't deny the allure of the book, and the upstairs is curious...

In spite of it all, though- it's the other being in the room you choose to approach. You try to rationalize the options in your mind, weighing the pros, the cons- and though you fear speaking with the ghost, especially after your previous encounter... Maybe the woman could answer your questions about everything else.

Warily, you circle around the table, walking up to her side. You open your mouth, trying to speak to catch her attention, but... Your voice catches in your throat. You snap your mouth shut, before meekly opting to just clear your throat instead.

You watch the woman's head raise, the movements of her craft stopping. You feel your heart stop, too, scared by her sudden stillness that you've made a mistake, and you cling to your bag, getting ready to run.

... She doesn't make any hostile actions. Instead, she turns herself to face you... Her bloody eyes softening as she looks you over.

"Poor thing... You look so tired," she sighs, motioning to the chair beside her. "Please, take a seat. It's alright."

Your stopped heart leaps into your throat. You stare wide-eyed at her face, that voice ringing in your ears.

It all hurts more than the harsh words of the old Gambler.

You recognize this ghost.

"... Miss Hazel...?" comes your own trembling voice.

You feel your shaking legs buckle, and you fall into the chair beside you that she asked you to rest in. Your recognition seems to warm her, a gentle smile spreading across her face.

"Ha, you've heard of little old me?" she replied with a breathy laugh, shaking her head. "Most only remember my boy's name... I'm flattered, really."

You swallow thickly.

"Of- of course I know you," you manage to stammer out, the curiosity with which she tilts her head opening up a pit in your stomach.

"It's- it's me, it's Leaf, you- I live with you, I- Your son's only friend, you called me your... Other kid... Your 'surprise daughter,' right...?"

It's all too much for you to take. Nobody likes when you cry, but her unfamiliarity is gutting you. You know you're failing to hide your anguish- your eyes burn, your lip is trembling, and your voice is small, shaking, weak.

Mama Hazel...

"You remember me, don't you...?"

You dread her answer. You see how she pities you- her expression saddening, as she wracks her mind to place your face. She seems heartbroken as she shakes her head.

"Oh, sweetheart... I'm so sorry." she whispers, putting a hand over her mouth. "I wish I could tell you yes... But I think you have me mistaken for someone else. I just can't place you, Leaf. I've only ever had one kid, and... His only friend was another little boy."

You can feel your thoughts trying to leave yourself again. The only sensation connecting you to your body is the stinging, burning tears that cloud your vision and begin rolling down your cheeks. You feel miles away, as if you're watching the scene from a bird's eye view. You feel so tiny. The ghost of Hazel looks so insignificant. It's all pixelated and unclear. The world outside of the house stretches to an infinite black abyss.

It seems so meaningless. You seem so meaningless inside all of it. You watch as the pale and puny body sets her craft on the table, and steps towards you.

You watch her arms wrap you up in a hug.

You're flung back into your body- everything seems real again, as if you've snapped awake. Her touch is frigid. You can tell her embrace would otherwise hold all the warmth in the world, you've felt her hugs so many times before... But like this, as this pale soul devoid of flesh and true tangibility, it's like being suffocated in ice. You push your hands against her, shivering violently as your eyes dry rapidly from the shock.

She seems to take the hint. She quickly releases you, holding her hands to her chest and gazing at you regretfully.

"I'm sorry, dear," she says quickly- you can tell in her subdued tone that she means it deeply. "I should have asked."

You don't have it in you to get on her about that, even if it's a bit frustrating. A part of you is just grateful to have been snapped out of that hazy headspace. The lingering feeling of that icy touch still bothers you, pulsing through your bones with a deep-set chill that fades much too slowly.

"It's okay..." is what you manage, your teeth chattering through your words. "You're j- you're just so cold. I- I think I'll be fine, though..."

You run your hands over your cheeks, wiping away the dampness of your tears, then drying your palms on your dress and bag.

Hazel sighs, looking down to the jacket she'd put on the table. Your eyes follow hers, analyzing the vest-like thing... Faded to pale white like the ghosts, covered in snaps, as well as two large pockets. You note that it's laid with the back up, and what she'd been sewing dawns on you; She was finishing stitching on a patch. You can make out the shape of the words, despite of the lack of color:

INDIGO LEAGUE 1996 - KANTO CHAMPION

"... I'm so sorry about all of this, Leaf," Hazel starts, shaking her head. "This must be so confusing. This place..."

You perk up a bit. Right- you wanted to ask questions.

"Do you know what this place is?" you quickly interject, your full attention returning to her. She puts a hand over her mouth, not quite looking you in the eyes.

"... I don't," she whispers. "But I don't think it's Kanto. Not as I knew it."

She looks at her hands. "Leaf... You're the first person I've seen since I've ended up like this. I don't know what happened. Nobody comes anymore. I haven't seen my son in years. And I believe I'm trapped here."

You feel like your stomach has turned to lead. "What?"

"I've tried to leave," she explains."There's nothing out there. When I open my front door, it's nothing but darkness and strange patterns. ... Sometimes I see odd visions, too- images of a world in color where I am someone else."

Your mind wanders to the abyss you saw outside when you started to freak out.

"So I stopped trying a long time ago. It felt like it was driving me insane, and... It started making me think that things had always been like this."

"So you just... Sit here?" you ask, fidgeting with the edge of your dress.

Hazel smiles sadly.

"I like to consider it waiting."

"For what?"

"... For my son to come home," she breathes. She reaches over, grabbing the jacket off the table. "He promised to come back for this."

Another pang of sorrow strikes you. Her empty eyes seem to shimmer as she thinks of him, and you see the corners of her lips twitch in a faint smile.

She radiates pride, yet grief, too... A part of you has accepted by now that this is not your mother.

... That same part wonders if your real mother would wait and mourn for you, too.

"... Do you at least know how you ended up like this? What- what's that book? When will your son come back- who is he?" You ask rapid-fire, desperate for more answers before the suffocating feeling you get from this place- and the chills that still run through your bones- drive you away.

Hazel laughs, a gentle, soothing noise. It's one you'd come to know well. Even trying to remember that she isn't the woman you knew... The familiarity still stings.

"I don't know. I don't know how to answer any of those," she replies, giving you a sad smile. "When I try to remember... Just as me leaving- when I try to recall what changed, all I can think is that... Nothing did."

You watch her grab the needle and thread, tying off where she'd been sewing and breaking the string as she continues.

"The book has been there a long time. I glance through sometimes... It changes on its own. Way back when, though... I believe my boy's little friend left it here, once. Forgot to ever take it back."

She suddenly stands up, holding the jacket up to examine her work. She peeks over at you, and motions for you to come closer.

"Could you stand up for me?" she asks, suddenly sounding more sure of herself- a twinge of hope coloring her voice. You frown, but... She hasn't done anything to harm you so far. With no reason to distrust her, you rise to your feet- it becomes immediately clear how wobbly you feel. Sitting had hidden how badly the house had been sapping your strength, but like this, you feel ready to collapse, barely able to step towards her as the frigid feeling's pulse intensifies.

Suddenly, a warmth is draped over your shoulders.

"It looks like it'll be a perfect fit," Hazel says, smiling as she helps to hold you steady- the layer of fabric between you and her hands now protecting you from her frigid fingertips. Your eyes widen in confusion, looking down at the white, bulky jacket that's been draped over you.

You raise your hand, feeling it with a delicate touch as if it would fall to pieces in your hands. It's surprisingly warm, the inner layer soft and insulated... It's all study material, with a lot of clearly hand-done patches, stitches, attachments added over seemingly years. Well-loved, but even more lovingly repaired.

You wonder how long Hazel's been repairing this thing.

"Didn't- didn't you say this was...?" you start to ask.

"Yes," she starts. You hear the brief pain in her voice.

"... I think it's time I'm honest with myself. ... He's not coming home. So... I want you to take this. Please."

She lowers her hands and steps away.

"I'll feel better if it's serving its purpose for someone, at least. And maybe... If you see my little champ while you're out there... You can finally deliver it to him."

Her kind words and motherly actions remind you so much of your own Hazel that it makes your heart ache. You sniffle, choking back tears as you quickly move to wear it properly. You make sure to situate Eevee's bag over it, and smooth it out as to keep it comfortable.

Hazel was right; it's a perfect fit.

You feel a little stronger in this. A little warmer, the chill that had clung to you snuffing out under its embrace. More sure of yourself, you look up to her, mustering up the biggest smile you can.

"Thank you so much. I swear- I'll treasure this. I'll take good care of it."

"No, Leaf... Thank you," she sighs, a soft echo in her voice, "for giving a poor old lady some peace of mind."

You look down at the jacket one more time, admiring her handiwork, before turning to give her a parting word... And to make sure you know who to pass it off to if you found him.

When you look up again, the ghost is gone.

... A twinge of sadness strikes you, but... For the most part, you're grateful to have found a friendly face.

But it still hurts so much to have lost her as quickly as you'd earned her trust.

There's nothing that can be done, though. You're all alone. It's just you and Eevee against the world once again. You feel the sting of tears you'd been fighting off rising up again... But in your solitude, you decide to let them flow.

For a few moments, you stand in the empty home with your hands over your face, quietly sobbing as you finally let some of the weight of everything hurt for a short, cathartic moment.

Your relief is short lived once you lower your hands.

Blood. Drops of blood stain your palms. You can see it's mixed with the watery tears.

Panic rises in your chest- you wipe your cheeks, looking at your hands again. As you feared- crimson streaks mix with the dampness of your tears.

You need to get out of this house.

You turn and run out the front door, forgetting about the upstairs, the diary, and everything else.

You're not wanted here anymore.

You practically fall out of the front door, stumbling back into the damp and foggy outdoors. In the fresh air, you try to steady your panicked breathing- counting the seconds, forcing you trembling breaths back into a regular rhythm... You can tell how the suffocating feeling of that home releases you and bids you its long-demanded farewell.

Once you've steadied, you turn, wanting to give one more goodbye...

All that you're met with is that same tall, white fence.

... So that's that, then. You turn, looking back to the patch ahead. You finally realize that this one is different. No dirt pathway- dying grass that reaches up to your ankles is all that lines the way, the road forward marked by a simpler wooden fence that you could much more easily jump, if you had it in you... At least you can see over it, though.

You pet Eevee, unsure if you're soothing it, or yourself.

"Well... Guess we're back to this again, huh, little buddy?" you say quietly, half-lighthearted. It chirps at you and nods, turning its gaze forward.

You take a deep breath. Bolstered by the warmth of your new jacket, and the kindness you'd been shown...

You begin down the next long path.

On the outside of that insurmountable fence, you find this walk to be far less suffocating. You kick the grass as you trek forward, feeling how the dew clings to your legs, ankles and heels.

It certainly gives you more to look at, you think idly. Though the fog is still dense, it's lightened up enough that you can see the trees above and outside of this pathway, and you admire the view of the swaying reds and oranges. A few dandelions even grow despite how the rest of the plant life seems to be dying, adding a splash of yellow to the sea of darker autumn colors.

At one point- you're not sure when- you start to hear children's laughter on the wind. You try not to let the sounds stop you, and simply hold Eevee close.

As it grows louder, you spot the source through the treeline. You watch quietly as a group of children run past, all dressed up in shorts and tank tops, all equipped with bug nets and cheap plastic bug boxes, clinging to their straw hats so as to not lose them in the wind... All of them look the exact same, colored that pale white with red eyes; ghosts just like the others, you note.

You wonder if this is how everyone here is. You wonder if you'd end up like that... You push the thought away, but it still leaves you stopped in your tracks.

The kids vanish quickly, running off together in the opposite direction of where you're traveling. Your gaze drops to Eevee, and you sigh.

"... Reminds me of the kids back home," you mutter, talking aloud to the Eevee as you start to walk again.

"They'd run by outside my home just like that. Nobody ever wanted to play with me, though. I guess they didn't, either, but... Maybe that's for the best, hah."

You sigh. "I can't wait for this to be over. I'm glad I have friends waiting for me, y'know... I want you and Blue to get along. I hope it'll work out once we're home..."

You fall silent as the wind picks up, trying to push back against you. You realize it's better to not waste your breath talking to your Pokemon... This is already tiring enough as it is, anyways.

He was so kind.

As you move onward, the wind seems to whisper to you again. You strain to understand its words.

His smile. His laugh...

The path is becoming harder to see. You look up, seeing the way the canopy of trees begins to stretch over top of this path as you move forward, blocking out the light...

I felt so safe with him.

Looking up makes you stop paying attention to your footsteps. You fail to notice the fence opening up, fail to notice what's right in front of you.

Splash.

Your foot sinks into mud and water. You jolt back, stumbling away- the mud clings to your slipper, and you quickly realize that you'd almost walked into a pond. Your face flushes with embarrassment, especially at losing a shoe... You consider reaching in to try to get it back- but you look down at your jacket, and... Gods, you don't have it in you to risk dropping or ruining it.

Oh well. It's one shoe, right? Paying much closer attention now, you turn back and start to walk around the pond instead of through it.

Friend...

Caught up in your frustration, you only catch one word from the voice on the wind... And it confuses you. It's already hard to discern, but you can't tell if it was making a statement, or... a question?

You mentally kick yourself again for your clumsy actions, losing you a slipper and missing something's words.

At least the grass isn't too hard on you. You continue, opting to follow the outer fence that closes the body of water into your pathway. You hit a corner, turn, and go on, until you hit a new opening...

That leads directly to a door.

The familiarity, similar to Hazel's home, strikes you as you look at it. This time, though, you're able to place it.

It's just like Blue's.

You're always welcome there. You know that. You pray that that fact will hold true here.

It's not like you have anywhere else to go.

So, you push it open, and step inside.

No.

... It's pitch black. You wonder if the lights are just off, but... You're quickly struck by the fact that you can see yourself and Eevee just fine- it's as if you're standing under a spotlight. Everything else in here is a void.

Shakily, you half-shuffle forward, afraid of the invisible floor giving out on you and completely swallowing you up. You manage to move what you assume is a couple of yards, before a stark white figure appears from the dark.

You move closer, trying to identify anything about them...

And you come to realize that yet again, this is almost certainly someone you know.

You'd recognize that headband and dress anywhere.

You watch the ghost of Daisy Oak tilt her head, her face almost completely blank- save for those gaping, red eyes.

"Do you hear the cries...?" she asks.

... Your uneasiness makes you feel sick. You aren't sure what to say. This definitely isn't the Daisy you know.

[themissingnumbers]

HOW IT FEELS TO DISAPPEAR: DESCENT

FIRST || PREV | NEXT [Retort.]

You look down as the ghostly man motions to your Eevee, watching the thing trembling horribly. You swear, though it's impossible through the fur, you see its face pale.

Your gaze rises back to him, and you start to feel yourself shaking for a different reason. The ghost's words stir something in you. Like a spark onto dry foliage, you feel it ignite, you feel it burn, and you feel it spread. A blazing heat that overwhelms you, running like magma through your veins, forcing tension into every muscle in your body. You grind your teeth, you clench your fists, you start seeing red. The unbridled anger boils so intensely that your head starts to hurt.

It takes every ounce of restraint- and a quiet voice of reason in your racing mind telling that the man may not even be tangible- to stop yourself from throttling him.

Instead, that vicious fire spills from your lips.

"Can't YOU do better?!" you snarl, stepping forward and tucking Eevee's bag behind you. Your voice breaks as it raises to a yell, toeing on a scream;

"ANY better, you old JERK, than wasting YOUR time- your MISERABLE LIFE, sitting there- doing NOTHING, but TAUNTING and DEGRADING some helpless, SICK little goddamn POKEMON?! You- You MONSTER, I don't care who or WHAT you think you are, I SWEAR TO THE GODS, I'LL KI-"

"You'll what?" he exclaims over you, laughing in your face as the words die in your throat. You can feel your cheeks flush, and you open your mouth again-

He wags a finger, still snickering.

"You haven't even begun to grasp how powerless you are here."

Your hands sting from how tightly your fists clench, your nails digging into your palms.

"Yeah, right," you spit. "I'll show you. Just like I showed EVERYONE. You don't know who I am."

"Ha. You're funny, girl." he rasps. "Go on fighting then, you poor little spitfire..."

Your glare burns into him as his form starts to fade, the old man laughing as he vanishes from your sight. With a whisper on the wind, you hear one last taunting remark from his nauseating voice.

"At least you're somewhat right about one thing... Nobody knows who you are."

You stare at the empty space where he sat, breathing heavily.

"Coward," you huff. You grasp tightly to the strap of your bag, turning it so Eevee rests under your arm again. It looks up at you, ears still flat... But it nuzzles up against your side, as if trying to silently soothe you.

Its small gesture of comfort seems to work. You feel the white-hot rage melt away, and you take a few deep, shaky breaths.

You had come to hate getting like that... A sense of guilt starts to fill the hole that the anger left in your chest. You'd made a promise to yourself- to Miss Hazel, to your brother, to the Oaks, but mostly to yourself- that you'd get that temper under control.

Absently, you start to walk as your mind starts to wander, almost forgetting the circumstances you'd been thrust into. Your thoughts leave you feeling like you're watching yourself in the third person.

Anger hurt; Made your chest sting, your eyes burn, your head throb cause you always clenched your jaw too tight. It hurt other people, too; bitter words that tore people down, and the risk of hard-to-control impulses that you'd regret at best, that'd end in tears and trouble at worst. Through the time you'd lived in Pallet- the only time of your life you really remembered, it had become your least favorite emotion.

Step, step, step. The dirt crunches under your feet. Eevee's fur grazes your arm as it situates, trying to get comfortable. It all seems so distant.

The part that hurt most was how nobody liked you when you got angry. ... You can't find it in yourself to blame them, though. The memories come to you dully. You already struggled to make friends; your own otherness in the community had already made things hard enough. But you remember the first time you'd lashed out. Someone had been bullying Red, you recall faintly. The thing you really remember was Hazel telling you that you were lucky you hadn't broken the kid's nose.

... After that, suddenly, the other kids in Pallet Town started to avoid you. That bully might have been a jerk, but he never hurt anyone. You ruined your chances for any connections. Even Hazel couldn't look at you the same for a while. The memory leaves a lump in your throat.

You watch the movement of the fog in front of you. Try to trace shapes with your eyes, moving forward automatically like a robot.

You'd always wanted friends. You felt... Lonely in Pallet Town. Most of the kids in the small community were little boys, or older teens who wanted nothing to do with someone your age. As far as you knew, you had no childhood, too- nothing to connect with anyone over. The only person you were close to was your brother- you called him your brother, anyways- Red, and he was nice, but a bit of a brick wall sometimes... The League challenge inspired a new hope in you when you heard about it. A chance to leave- to travel the region and make something new of yourself. Nobody beyond this tiny community knew who you were. All you had to do was swallow your impulsiveness and be... better, you had thought with a sparkle in your eyes. Nobody liked you when you got angry. But everybody liked a sweet and friendly, strong and independent, darling and cute and charming little girl. Right? You could be all of that. You could be the best anyone had ever seen! So you set your mind to it. You could do anything, everything you wanted to if you believed. You pushed all that nasty, ugly, black and oozing stuff in you away. You learned to smile despite anything you might have thought. You began to forget what your anger felt like.

Your gaze has dropped to your feet by now, focusing on little things. The slight give of the dirt under every step you took... The way your black slippers flopped and bent with the movement of your feet... The way the fog parted around your movement, as if you were wading through a creek. You're not really paying attention to where you're going anymore- haven't been for a bit. You at least know the fence is still funneling you on a straight path.

You hadn't expected, out of all of the kids in this town... Especially your brother, someone you knew was far more capable than you... That somehow, Professor Oak would chose you to gift with the essentials for a League newbie. You honestly thought it was a joke, especially after everything you'd done prior- the first outburst wasn't the last, you recall with a pang of regret- why would anyone in their right mind choose you of all kids? But... It was all true. A Pokedex and a rare, soon-to-be powerful Pokemon to accompany you on your journey. It seemed like even the Professor's grandson- given the same gifts by virtue of blood- had expected Red, not you. You recall him waiting in the lab, having snatched up a Squirtle. Later on Blue had told you he chose it, somehow knowing Red would've picked Charmander. He had wanted to get an upper hand early. You, however, had chosen Bulbasaur. It was so cute, and it's little bulb... Heck, the grass typing in general- it made you nostalgic in a way you couldn't quite place, evoking the memory and image of the Viridian Forest. Blue had been furious- it put him at a disadvantage compared to you. But, it was too late to take his pick back. (He won the first battle you two had, anyways...) ... Even though you couldn't begin to fathom why you'd been given such an opportunity, it really had changed your life. Your efforts had been worth it. You made friends and allies, and after taking care of Team Rocket, it seemed everyone loved you. You had come so, so far. Things were finally looking up.

Eevee starts to chirp at you. You don't process its noises.

... You can hardly remember the last time you'd gotten so angry, come to think of it. Your journey had taken months, right? And you'd started working on it way before... A deeper guilt stabs you in the gut as the face that had always made you lash out so horribly comes back to you. ... How had Blue ever become your friend? How had Professor Oak ever forgiven you enough to entrust you with these things? It doesn't seem right, in your mind. You're struck by a strange pang of self-doubt. You start to think that it should've been impossible for you to have gotten that chance. You wonder if you ever really-

Bonk.

You walk face first into a wooden door. That's one way to snap you out of your thoughts... You rub your forehead, which took the brunt of the collision, and blink hard, willing yourself to focus enough to make out what you're looking at.

... This door and home seem... Odd, in a way you can't place. You frown, briefly wondering if you'd somehow gotten turned around and wound up back where you started... You distinctly remember leaving the door open behind you, though. This is shut tight- and unlike the image of your own desolate home, there's lights on inside.

You look left, then right. The fence stands as sturdy as ever. Seems like there's no other way to go... Eevee tucks itself further down in your bag, at you knock.

No answer. You chew on your lip, and slowly reach for the doorknob. You hesitate briefly- but grab and turn anyways. It's unlocked. You open it up slowly, peeking inside. ... Although the lights are on, it seems empty, so you head in, treading carefully and turning to quietly shut the door behind you.

When you turn back around, the house isn't empty. Another ghostly figure- white and faintly seethrough, just like the old man down the path- sits at the table in the middle of the room. Their back is turned to you, and it seems like they're working at something with their hands- you can't fully make it out, but... They may be sewing some kind of jacket...?

You assume this ghost is some older woman, based on the longer hair, the dress, and what looks to be the bow of a tied apron. Somehow, she doesn't give you the feeling of unease the older man did... But there's still something unsettling about this place.

It's... Familiar.

It's missing decorations, and in place of the kitchen seems to be a few bookshelves. But the locations of the door, the table with four seats, the television, and the staircase...

It reminds you too much of your home.

Even Eevee is looking around, as if confused. You try to swallow down the unease that this uncanniness gives you, moving forward to look around. As you approach the table, the ghost doesn't seem to notice you, which a part of you is silently grateful for...

You notice as you approach the table that a book is laying on the corner closest to you... The plain leather cover reminds you of a diary, and while you're struck with curiosity, you look to the ghost nervously before touching anything.

This time, she looks back. You briefly feel your blood run cold as bloody red eyes meet yours... Before the woman simply sighs, turning back to her craft.

Having met her eyes, even in passing.. You get the same uncanny familiarity from her that you get from the rest of this house.

A part of you wants to explore everything- what else might lay upstairs, what lies in the diary, and who this woman even is... But the other part is screaming at you to hurry and get out.

Just lingering in this place is starting to make you feel weak, as if you don't belong here, and the very house knows and wants you gone.

You only have it in you to satiate one of your curiosities.

[themissingnumbers]

I forgot how to make posts, but don’t worry guys, I’m still alive-

Ghostly Assistance

Heyyy! I finally drew Leaf! (Plus a slight Aster redesign-) This took way too long, and I apologize for the delay and the overall messiness. She had been sitting in my drawing program as a sketch for two months 😅 but with the Flashbacks up starting in Missing Numbers, I finally got the will to finish it!

Leaf Aoyama belongs to @creatively-cosmic. They have a blog called @themissingnumbers, which you should check out, like—right now.

[Sketch + Extras below the cut!]

Here’s the cover of the book, if you wanted that- (I know it’s crap but I’m tired)

[And for those who are curious, some notes about the art:

-The book is Aster’s. He’s read the book cover to cover well over 25 times. It’s his favorite book on flowers, but he’s more than happy to lend it to someone who wants to learn about flora.

-The content of the art (because there was intended to be a background that got scrapped-) is that Aster was showing Leaf around his secret garden deep in the woods, guiding her so that she wouldn’t get lost and showing her the different flowers and such. (That’s why she has the book-)

-You know how in some video games, you can press a button and whatever special companion you have will show up to give you a hint? (Ex: Navi, Fi, Rotom, Olivia, etc) That’s what Aster is doing right now. Whenever Leaf had a question—he had the answers.

-And if you’re wondering—Yes. Aster did make her a flower crown afterwards. And Yes, he thinks she looks very beautiful with flowers in her hair.]

[themissingnumbers]

HOW IT FEELS TO DISAPPEAR: DESCENT

WARNINGS: Scopophobia, Disturbing Imagery, Blood. FIRST || PREV | NEXT [Take it with you.]

A strange feeling washes over you as you stare down at the Eevee. Those whispers in the back of your mind, demanding that you leave it behind. But looking into those wide, scared eyes... You swear, you can see them welling up with tears.

You don't have it in you to go without it.

You walk back across your room, grabbing your bag lazily hanging off your desk chair. Eevee eagerly follows after you, still trembling but starting to wag its tail- you figure it knows what you're doing. As soon as you open the bag up and kneel down, it jumps inside, quickly nestling up in the pillow and fuzzy blanket you've lined the bottom with- this had quickly become its favorite way to stay at your side, so you'd at least had enough sense to make it a bit more comfortable... It makes it impossible to close it in, but you haven't needed to hide it, and you figure that won't change- there's only one person you're deliberately hiding it from, anyways...

You sling the bag over your shoulder, ruffling a hand through the fur on Eevee's head. It purrs, rubbing against you.

With that, you're pretty sure you've got everything you need... You walk downstairs tiredly, only dully noticing how Miss Hazel isn't in the kitchen or living room like she'd usually be right now... Probably out on some errand, you think, as you continue on towards the front door and swing it open.

You're met face to face with a certain young man, his hand raised awkwardly, apparently going to knock just as you'd opened the door.

Blue Oak stares at you, almost dumbfounded at your impeccable timing.

"... Uh... Hey, Leaf- I'm, uh. I'm sorry to bother you," he starts, bringing his hand down to rub over his arms. "I was starting to... Worry, I- I hadn't- I haven't seen you since... And I was thinking, like, that's not like her, but I didn't want to....."

He trails off. Looks away. Blue was never the most open of books, and you watch with tired eyes as he searches for his words. He opens his mouth, shuts it- he looks you up and down, expression seeming to toe the line between confusion and concern as he processes the state you're in.

Discomfort, anxiety, awkwardness- you watch the tension shatter into a frozen, mortified horror as his gaze locks onto your bag.

Confusion briefly crosses your mind as to what could possibly illicit that reaction from him, but as Blue steps backwards, it hits you all at once:

Your bag is wide open. Eevee stares up at him, bristling and snarling at the boy.

You suck in a breath through your teeth, hurrying to try and explain yourself and that it really isn't aggressive, it's just scared, but Blue speaks before you can get a single word out:

"You need to get rid of that thing."

What?

"What?!" you exclaim, instantly echoing the whirl of confusion in your mind. "You can't- Blue, you're joking, right?"

You can already tell he's not joking. That's what confuses you the most. He's trembling as if he saw a ghost, all the color drained from his face and his fingernails practically tearing into the armbands he always wore.

A voice in the back of your mind chides; he's right, you know. You ignore it.

"Leaf- Leaf, please, you have to listen to me-" he stammers out, his unsteady voice dropping to a near whisper as he backs further away. "Please- that Eevee, it's- it's a-"

You move forward, wanting to soothe and listen to him in spite of your confusion.

When you step out of your front door, you are not in Palette Town.

Blue is gone. The afternoon sunshine is gone. The buildings outside your home are gone. The green grass and dirt pathways are gone.

You look behind you. Even your home is suddenly dark, and completely empty. As if it's been abandoned for years.

You look back to your surroundings, fear rising in your chest and stinging like bile.

A dense fog shrouds the area, blinding and suffocating. You can barely see your own two feet. You squint, trying to forcibly steady your breathing as you take a hesitant step forward.

... You nearly run face-first into a fence. You hold onto the wooden posts, trying to gather your wits and see what's going on. It's a tall fence, painted white... It's too tall to reasonably climb over- certainly not with the dew from the fog slicking it up, and while it has gaps big enough to see through, they're more than narrow enough to keep you or even Eevee from squeezing through.

Dully, you imagine the bars of a jail cell. You shiver.

Looking a bit closer, you can faintly make out trees on the outside. It seems like... The autumn leaves have come in. You watch the fuzzy shapes of leaves dancing through the air and onto the ground, one landing close enough for you to make out the dazzling red. It compliments the wilted, brown grass well, you think bitterly.

... That's all you're able to gather, though. You turn to your right, seeing that the fence seems to connect to the house that way...

It's the opposite direction that seems to open up, making a narrow dirt path, fully enclosed by white wood.

A part of you wants to optimistically think that at least you're not trapped, but you... You don't know how much you really believe that. But no matter what you want to think, one thing is clear:

There's only one way to go.

You start walking.

... The path seems to stretch on, but you find yourself grateful that it's straightforward. With this awful fog, you'd only feel queasier about any unpredictability... And there's the little things- lazily running one hand along the wood keeps you on a straightforward path and the cool dew on your skin helps to keep you alert.

You think it's been more than a few minutes of walking, though. Maybe this strange place can read you, somehow, because just as you're starting to space out, you spot something in the distance-

A person...! You instantly perk up, recognizing some kind of human silhouette through the fog ahead. They seem to be sitting cross-legged on the ground, slumped back against the fence behind them, but you're sure of it- you're sure of it. Someone else is here!

You pick up the pace a bit, eager to have company, or answers, or anything. You ignore Eevee's whimpering as your approach the stranger.

... As you get closer, though, you start to understand its worry.

You begin to make out details on them as you close the gap between you and the stranger.

Or... Lack thereof.

This is not a human.

You slow to a stop in front of them. You can feel your legs shaking, that primal part of your mind screaming to run.

Its body seems to be that of an older man's- you think vaguely of those gamblers you fought outside of Vermilion City... That's where the traces of humanity seem to end, though. The ghastly man is vaguely see-through, he seems to have no mouth, and he's completely void of color, every last feature a stark and unnatural white.

He's like a ghost, you think to yourself. But you don't think he's noticed you... You start to back away to continue down the path, hoping to avoid whatever danger this thing might pose.

Too late, though. He suddenly opens his eyes.

Seems like you were wrong about one thing, you think as you feel your mouth run dry.

A crimson gaze bores into you, and you watch in horror as the place where his mouth should have been rips open- all so he can flash you an awful, bright red smile. Blood trickles from his lips and bulging eyes, as if it weren't truly parts of his face, but open wounds.

Your paralyzing terror only increases as he sneers at you, motioning to the trembling Eevee in your bag.

"HAH... REALLY? ALL IN FOR THAT LOST CAUSE... CAN'T YOU DO BETTER, GIRL?"

[themissingnumbers]

HOW IT FEELS TO DISAPPEAR: DESCENT

Note: well, it's all downhill from here. also FUCK its 2am again. WARNINGS: Scopophobia, Disturbing Imagery, Blood. FIRST || PREV | NEXT ["I was just wondering if you were ready to go!"]

Thinking quickly, you decide to just play innocent. If you can't lie, why not just... Avoid the truth?

"I was just wondering if you were ready to go!" you exclaim, folding your hands behind your back and smiling down at him. He looks up at you, quirking an eyebrow. He looks like he wants to question you further, but... He sighs, and just shakes his head.

"Not yet bud. Sorry," he replies simply. "You can go on ahead, though. I'll be fine. 'sides, I didn't exactly ask you to come in the first place, did I?"

You feel your cheeks heat up a bit. He's got you there- you had really insisted on tagging along, and here you are, wandering off and trying to drag him away before he wants to leave... How rude!

He must notice how you're quietly kicking yourself, because his expression softens into a warm smile.

"Hey- don't sweat it. Remember, we're neighbors, Leaf. You can come and bug me any time you want. Promise."

That gets you to calm down a little. Sometimes you forget, you'll admit... You're lucky that Blue turned out to be so patient with you, despite everything.

You're grateful to have him by your side.

"You got it!" you finally chime in reply. "Well... I guess in that case- I'll see you soon, okay? I'll make sure to come over!"

He nods, standing up before you get on your way. You can see him mulling something over in his mind, judging by the look on his face...

Before you can question, he leans in, squeezing you tight in a hug.

The worry of oh Gods what if he feels the bag flashes across your mind, but...

You can tell that's not what he's doing. You relax into your friends arms, returning the gesture with all the warmth you can muster.

After a long moment, Blue pulls away, averting his gaze and rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"Alllllright, get outta here," he insists, "And don't tell anyone I'm going soft, you got that?!"

You beam and nod quickly. "Course! Big Bad Blue Oak being a hugger... Your secret's safe with me!" you chime, before turning to jog off towards the exit.

"I'll come visit soon!!!" you call over your shoulder, waving goodbye. You see him wave back at you, before you lose sight of him as you hop down the stairs.

Once you're outside of the tower, you call out your Dragonite, and fly home. You hope to visit Blue tomorrow... But for now, you've got an Eevee to take care of.

...

Two weeks pass.

Trying to nurse the Eevee back to health has been more difficult than you anticipated. You've tried everything. You've fed and watered it well, played with it, slept with it, tried a whole variety of medicines and home remedies.

No matter what you tried, its condition just won't improve, and it looks just like how you found it, if not worse. Worried about deeper ailments, you even managed to drag it into a Pokemon center last week, in spite of its screams and protests. The nurses did a checkup and everything- nothing abnormal came up, other than the stuff you already knew, that it was scrawny and runty and whatever. The only remarkable things you took away from the visit was the surprising strength of the claws on the little bugger, and that weirdo Nurse Joy who told you to "be careful with a Pokemon like that."

It's like they assumed you just waltzed in with an untrained wild Eevee!

It frustrated you so much that you just went back to trying to treat it yourself. Of course, Eevee calmed down as soon as you got home, and you've barely left the house since then- you can't bear to leave it alone for how bad its separation anxiety is.

At least it doesn't act up at home like it did in the Center... Other than that one day, it's been nothing but a little angel for you.

... You're regretting not getting out more, and you wish so badly you could just take it with- especially to visit your friend, like you keep meaning to... But you've noticed, every time you mentioned visiting your neighbor, Eevee freaks out and hides. You figure it's one of those abused Pokemon that's afraid of men, honestly. The thought makes you chuckle- a cruel means of gender affirmation for the boy, if you could tell him. But... You've decided to continue keeping its care a secret from him for now.

Still, not leaving the house as much as you do usually is taking a toll. You feel like you're coming down with some kind of awful cabin fever- For one, you've started losing your appetite... Add on general weakness, sleeping in later and going to bed earlier, and increasingly frequent headaches, and you'd have already been worried.

But these past few days have gotten... Severe.

You think you're starting to hallucinate.

White figures peering through your windows. Whispers in the back of your mind. Bloodstains throughout your house.

You've decided this has gotten bad enough. You're going to the hospital.

You roll out of bed. Trudge over to your closet- throw on the simplest clothes you can find- a comfortable black dress with pockets, black slippers, and your trusty old bucket hat. You just grab your wallet and turn to leave, half-dazed as you start towards downstairs before something grabs at your legs.

Don't leave me.

You look down at the Eevee, as it chirps, cries, and paws at you fearfully. In the exhausted state you're in, you'd almost forgotten about your little buddy.

Despite how much it hates leaving the house...

[themissingnumbers]

[i know one of our detectives already make this exact joke but this is how it fucking felt planning an upcoming puzzle today. i think this blog just has this effect on people]

[themissingnumbers]

Hello hi howdy how you doing?

Technically non-canon question but I'm new here n have been going through a bunch of the posts to get Up To Speed and I've noticed that Blue seems to have romantic entanglements with both Glitchy Red and Fire Red so what I'm wondering is, when/if Glitchy manages to escape superhell how will those relationships pan out? Will it be polyamorous? Or will the Reds fight to the death for the right to kiss Blue? Maybe both? Or will someone die before then?

Anyways yeah hope you're doing well n I love this blog. :3

[HI mod starry here i keep forgetting to answer this fuuuck. anyways firstly- welcome welcome!! we're happy 2 have you and im glad you like the blog so far! ^^

to start with actually answering, here's what Carrion said which sums it up a lot more. eloquently than i could:

Relationships and how they can change and fluctuate between people as a consequence of trauma and grief is a central theme to missing numbers- You'll have to simply wait and see how things pan out by engaging with the story as it's told

anyways for my own messier answer- i always prefer polyamory over "fighting to the death" over one guy haha,, ultimately while there very much ARE relationships and attractions in mn that do affect the character's dynamics in important ways, i don't want things to go down a path where any romantic fights n shit override the bigger picture/point of the blog. mn is a horror mystery where the relationships ARE important, but the focus is still the horror mystery anjkklsd

(ive always personally avoided shipping centric parts of fandoms in fact.. ive never shipname tagged any of my art actually focusing on that . that stuff scares me and i dont wanna bait and switch people with Aw theyre in love! wait why is blue stabbing him)

with that said, the details of everyone's dynamics with each other, both in current and future, is still a part of the Questions of the story that i hope to lay out thru future interactions and answers! its just that every part of these is important, not just romance ^v^ ]