themonstrousarchives

[themonstrousarchives]

I’ve been reading Dracula for the first time, im about halfway through, here’s my take on it so far

The polycule learns about monster hunting

[themonstrousarchives]

brood

[themonstrousarchives]

Driving around my town trying to find one single burger just one burger or a hot dog but Unfortunately everythings just rubble and twisted scaffolding upstretched and rotting and theres shit on fire and a big black ass sky

[themonstrousarchives]

omg what if georgie barker was pan?? no it'd be so funny because she's a pansexual who doesn't feel ANY fear and she was living with jon, an ace person who experienced EVERY fear, and they were living in the same flat for awhile haha it almost sounds like it would make a good sitcom and it could be called All or hello Jon apologies for the deception but I just wanted to make sure you were reading

[themonstrousarchives]

Woman Always Gets A Little Rush Out Of Telling People Most Kidnappings Are Not Done By Strangers

[themonstrousarchives]

unrepentant

[themonstrousarchives]

proshippers dni not because of the actual shipping but because you talk like harry potter liberals about fandom on serious political posts

[themonstrousarchives]

[themonstrousarchives]

Some 3D animations I've had sitting around for a good long while. These were quick n fun to make!

First one is lowpoly but the other two aren't so they don't look as great with these effects.

[themonstrousarchives]

I love when paranormal investigators appeal to their long experience for credibility. I've been playing pretend for seventeen years, and let me tell you in that time I've imagined some shit you wouldn't believe.

[themonstrousarchives]

So, fun fact about the skinned FurReal pony - I got the ID wrong, but only because Smores and Butterscotch's necks are semi-fixed in position, and I didn't think to google if the image I had of Butterscotch was mirrored.

The skinned horse IS Butterscotch, not Smores, but all of that's besides the point.

The reason I'm making this post is that y'all need to know that they skinned Butterscotch to turn her into a flamethrower

[themonstrousarchives]

[themonstrousarchives]

Lbr getting ur head cut off probably feels sooooooooo good especially if it's in one fell swoop? Like those monarchs did not deserve that it was too good for them. That's why they died. I'm built different u cut off my head now I got a cute new accessory

[themonstrousarchives]

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

[themonstrousarchives]

the signs do be kinda vibin doe 👀👉👈😳✊👊🖐️🥺🥺

[themonstrousarchives]

I know that some British people take umbridge at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[themonstrousarchives]

You, my tapeworm tells me what to do

You, my tapeworm tells me where to go