theoctopuscats - Tumblr blog

[theoctopuscats]

[theoctopuscats]

do you guys wanna see my favorite video on the internet yes you do

[theoctopuscats]

Guys, let's make a sandwich. I'll start:

Bread

[theoctopuscats]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[theoctopuscats]

Last name politicians

Trump

DeSantis

Haley

Biden

Warren

Klobuchar

First name politicians

Kamala

Bernie

Pete

Hillary

Jeb

[theoctopuscats]

ilove when someone posts about an issue that's supposedly plaguing society and it's painfully obvious that said issue is not a thing that matters if youre not on tiktok

[theoctopuscats]

this image can only be shared on Thursday, Sept. 12

[theoctopuscats]

[theoctopuscats]

tumblr users: i hate tiktok it's the worst

every post of a tiktok video: 12,746 reblogs, 45,094 likes

[theoctopuscats]

I think Odysseus is the guy everyone else makes talk to the cops when they show up to bust the party.

[theoctopuscats]

if you would rather elect a fascist than a liberal you're not a leftist you're just edgy

[theoctopuscats]

John Brosio

Night Hunt (2012)

Bride in Headlights (2011)

Night Hunt 2 (2018)

[theoctopuscats]

inspired by the quiz i saw for the countries!

take this quiz to see how many USA states you can name in 10 minutes, because i was curious to see if i still remembered. i got all but blanked on wyoming, maryland, and oklahoma. (and i only got nebraska, missouri, and mississippi in the last 10 seconds. when i blank out i BLANK out.)

[theoctopuscats]

[theoctopuscats]

I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

[theoctopuscats]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.