theophilusnerd - Tumblr blog

[theophilusnerd]

I see my name on a screen. It feels like a word that means a little girl i knew long ago. I make all the sounds in my mind. I realize that this is the word that means me. It bothers me that i should have a name and this one feels so far away. It bothers me that i feel this way.

[theophilusnerd]

Every time I research yet another female health condition, only to find that there is “no known cause” or “no known treatment or cure”, my heart breaks a little bit more. Women’s health is so largely ignored in research and in practice.

[theophilusnerd]

the modern feminist movement is a failure because instead of saying “the work that women are already doing is valuable and should been appreciated by society” they said “society already values the work done by men therefore to be valuable women need to do the same kind of work”

[theophilusnerd]

It's that time of year again when everyone's gonna celebrate a birthday while conveniently ignoring the birthday boy.

[theophilusnerd]

no more sex scenes 🚫 society has progressed past the need for sex scenes.

[theophilusnerd]

My dream of wanting to get married, have a big family, and find my peace that way is NOT a waste of potential, you just don’t value women in a role that isn’t the one you think they should have

[theophilusnerd]

by calling historically ‘masculine’ women trans (i.e. joan of arc, mulan), it only perpetuates the idea that heroism, strength, and success are male traits

[theophilusnerd]

people with disabilities have intrinsic human worth regardless of whether you personally recognize their right to life or not

[theophilusnerd]

When you realize you can just eat raw carrots

So I haven't felt like cooking enough meals perday but that doesn't stop me from getting hungry. That leves snacks and snack food is often junk food especially when you have a sweet tooth. I could eat apples but I find the experience of trying to hold them unpleasant. Then it hit me CARROTS I don't have to peel them and cut them up first (even though that would be better) I can just snask on a whole carrot.

[theophilusnerd]

We can have difficulty figuring out what we’re feeling and why, due to executive dysfunction.

I have check list that I go through to figure it. 

This is the self-check list as a flowchart (you can zoom into it).

[theophilusnerd]

This peice of wood looks like a mushroom

[theophilusnerd]

What is it like

I say I have ADHD

You ask me what it's like

I say that it's like my brain has fity tabs open. I say that I am cronicly board.

I say what I have been told.

I want to say "how would I know?". I have never been anyone but me. I have no experience without ADHD to compare it to

I want to say what is it like to be able to control your own mind. How much of your focus can you force even when your not interested. What is it like to have a constant acturet sents of time. Can you just decid to do something at 3pm and then remember. Rembering that another thing. How well dose a good "working memory" work. What is it like to do simple house hold task with out getting distracted and forgeting.

I want to say that sometimes it's like I'm floating in the air in a bubble and all my thoughts are also flouting and sometimes we touch and then I remember but I can't control how my bubble moves or what I remember. But I can only say that because it only feels like that sometimes. Sometimes it feels like thinking is like walking thought two feet of water and I can't decide between 2 veary far away destinations.

[theophilusnerd]

Just been told by a company that they won't hire me because I can't where a face mask. This doesn't feel great.

[theophilusnerd]

Sometimes I forget that I'm an adult

[theophilusnerd]

When you finish a book but you want to go on reading it. (Listening to it)

[theophilusnerd]

On having adhd

I am floating in a giant bubble carried by a changing breeze. No thought strong enough to remember I can only think about what I see. Where was I a moment ago it's all a blur. Where will I be in 10 minutes from now I do not know. I have tried to push my bubble to choose the direction where I go. But I am in a floating bubble and how to change this I do not know.

[theophilusnerd]

If you want a perfect picture draw nothing erase nothing.

If you want to draw well draw everything erase everything