thepaperwitch

[thepaperwitch]

New Hobby: get high and talk about Jesus

My Person and I were out for a walk last night, and we found some evangelicals handing out tracts on a street corner.  We then proceeded to have a 2.5 hour conversation with them*.  And, guys, it was a good conversation, and SO MUCH FUN.

(Sorry, IDK how to make Read More happen anymore.)

I guess this is where I’ve ended up, instead of having an angry atheist phase.  Lots and lots of people, when they first get out of religion go through a phase where they’re really angry because they find out they’ve been lied to their entire life (about the existence of God(s), and which are the right one(s)). And most of these ppl calm down after a bit, feeling less of a need to lash out at believers.  Religion/relationship with God(s) is a really deep part of our integrity, so the anger and hurt is understandable; when you think someone’s worldview is completely shifted, it makes sense they’d have strong emotions about that.  I skipped this phase mostly by taking over ten years to deconvert completely (Christian-->Pagan-->atheist).  

But now, I do find myself with a desire to...spread doubt.  I guess, I’ve decided for myself that believing true things is the most important to living my best life, and consequently, I want the ppl around me to also believe as many true things, and as few false things as possible.  I’m not out to deconvert ppl, or turn them atheist.  But from my, now outsider, perspective, most theists have not really questioned or examined their beliefs and assumptions**.  In fact, there are many religions and sects that actively discourage examination of beliefs, or skepticism.  And this can be harmful, because beliefs inform actions.  It’s like, ‘here, I found this new, shiny, important thing, let me show it to as many ppl as possible’.  And that ‘new, shiny, important thing’ in this case is that doubts aren’t bad, and ‘I don’t know’ is a good answer because it leaves room to find out.  So like, I skipped being an angry atheist, and went instead to ‘atheist enthusist’. XD

It’s interesting because as a theist, I found other religions interesting, and fun to learn about as an academic exercise.  But as an atheist, I’ve become much more interested in talking to people about why and how they believe what they do.  My Person, who’s been an atheist since highschool, has loved these conversations about belief since he was young, and I didn’t really get it before.  But I do now.  And there were SO MANY THINGS I wanted to talk about.

Me and my evangelist kind of went all over the place because there’s so much to cover.  There’s whether God exists (I can’t say He doesn’t, but I’m not convinced He does)***, and whether the physical universe is evidently designed (which he insisted it was, but I’m fair convinced it wasn’t.  Oh, and evolution by natural selection ISN’T FUCKING RANDOM).  Then there’s the question of whether God, if we assume for the sake of argument that He exists, is worthy of worship.  If I had sufficient evidence for the existence of God(s), I would believe at once, but that doesn’t mean I’d join that God’s religion, and start worshiping them.  If one reads the Bible from beginning to end, God is not a moral actor.  He’s kind of a dick, honestly, causing or inciting genocide, giving instructions on how you can beat your slaves instead of putting ‘don’t own someone else as property’ into His ten commandments, that time he caused a bear to slaughter a bunch of children because they made fun of one of the prophets for being bald (was it Ezekiel?), &c. And that’s just selecting from the first half of the Bible.

We even veered off into conspiracy territory at a couple points.  New York doctors are murdering babies (not aborting fetuses, but killing actual babies), apparently, and the UN is evil, a tool of Satan, and part of the end of days.  That one super threw me for a loop, though it’s not really surprising, given that he believed the Bible is literally true (young earth, and all).  The thing about the UN came up in the conversation before the point where he affirmed that the Bible was 100% true, so it caught me off guard.  Interestingly enough, when we talked about things like evolution, he did not insist that everything had to be 6,000 years old, so I wonder if he might be less of a young earth creationist than he was willing to admit.

Probably the biggest topic, and the thing we kept coming back to, was faith.  Faith was, to this guy, his reason for believing.  He claimed to have evidence of the Bible’s veracity (hence, my homework, although he also tried suggesting Lee Strobel, and Ken Ham, lolno).  Because my main point of contention with him, and well, believers in general, is that point about truth, and wanting to believe true things.  Faith, and personal experiences are not good ways to find out if something is true.  Faith can get you to Jesus, but it can also get you to Allah, Vishnu, Buddha, space aliens, &c&c&c.  And if something can get you true conclusions, but also false conclusions, it is not a good tool for determining truth.  But, oh, his faith in Jesus is different from the Muslim’s or Hindu’s faith because it came from God, neverminding that the hypothetical Muslim or Hindu would make the same claim, and have the same surety that they were the ones who had the truth.

Also also, he weasel-worded ‘faith’ SO HARD.  You see, there are two definitions of ‘faith’, one is trust.  I have faith that if I drop something it will fall.  I trust that the object will fall.  Why? Because every other time I’ve dropped something, it fell.  I have trust based on the evidence of my previous observations of how objects react to being dropped.  But then there’s the Hebrews 11:1 definition of ‘faith’: “assurance of things hoped for, evidence of things unseen”.  And by that definition, I DON’T have faith.  And this guy would use both definitions interchangeably, and then, when I would agree to having faith by the first definition, insist that I therefore, have faith by the second definition, and I would repeatedly have to correct him.  I don’t have faith in evolution the same way he has faith in Jesus.  We have actual EVIDENCE that the Earth is old as fuck, and that evolution actually happened, not FAITH.

Yeah, probably no-one actually cares about my conversations with random street corner evangelists, Lulz, and I probably really need to change the name of this blog, because I’m not particularly Pagany or witchy any more.  But I had so much fun, and I’m just like, that excited kid who just got a new toy and has to show everyone, because it’s so cool.  Except my new toy is conversations with evangelicals. XD  Also, you know, epistemology is important, and I want people to use good tools to figure out if things are true, not bad ones.

* I also happened to be high when we started this conversation (though the weed had worn off by the end of it).  This part is pretty unrelated, but it makes a Hell of an amusing post title.

** I suspect this is likely less true of Paganisms, only because so many Pagans convert from other beliefs, or shift beliefs in their journey, allowing them to be more open to admitting that they have held incorrect beliefs before, and changing them.

*** To be clear, the definition of ‘atheist’ that I use is that it answers the question of ‘do you believe in God(s)?’ with ‘no’.  I am not saying that God(s) 100% do not exist, because that would be a claim to knowledge, and frankly, I do not know that 100% God(s) do not exist.  It seems, at this point, very unlikely, but I do not know it as fact.  So when I say I’m an atheist, I am not saying, ‘there is no way your God(s) actually exist’, I am saying, ‘I have not yet been presented with sufficient evidence to conclude that your God(s) exist, and I am going to withhold belief in said God(s) until I AM presented with that evidence’.  

[thepaperwitch]

I don’t work with Anubis, and have a very small apartment anyway, but I just need to come here and flail madly in excitement because you’re in Ottawa, too?!?  I would love some IRL Kemetic community, but while I’ve met several Pagans, I’ve yet to meet another Kemetic. Pls come be my friend, or something!?

I’m rehoming some of my Egyptian/kemetic stuff. Specifically my Anubis stuff.

Anyone within a driveable distance from Ottawa want a 2.5ft tall Anubis statue holding a plate that can be used to hold a plant or offerings, and a 6ish inch Anubis statue with a broken ear? I’d rather they go to someone who worships him despite this being a long shot lol. He is just, WAY too large to ship despite not weighing a lot. 

You’d need to pick him up but he’s free and we can go out for bubble tea while you’re here lol.

[thepaperwitch]

conradxi replied to your post “So I guess I’m an atheist, now.”

WHO CARES?

No one has to care.  After all, I’m just some randomer on the internet to most people.  But this is my religiosity blog, and (a)theism is a religious topic, so why wouldn’t I write about it.  Besides, I figure my followers may want to know where I’m coming from, as they (presumably) follow this blog for religious content.  Concluding that I no longer believe in the Gods is going to change the content of this blog somewhat.  I haven’t exactly figured out how, but it’s fairly inevitable, as this blog’s contents reflects my religious worldview.  So yeah, I figure my followers deserve to know there’s been a change in my thinking that’s going to have some effect on the blog’s contents.  A post about it only seems the polite and honest thing to do.

[thepaperwitch]

Yeeeeah, I really wish people wouldn’t do that. It’s unhelpful, and basically shuts down any possibility of meaningful discussion on the topic. I didn’t suddenly become smarter when I became an atheist. That’s not how that works. :/

(Of course, I get annoyed when theists, Christians mostly, claim that atheists are all immoral hedonists who deny God just so they can sin more. My morality didn’t change with my beliefs any more than my intelligence did. )

So I guess I’m an atheist, now.

And I should probably stop avoiding the making of this post.  NGL though, I’m worried about potential backlash.

A week or so ago, I made this post about whether or not the Gods are real.  Several people gave me interesting things to think about.  I read all the responses, even though I didn’t respond or reblog them, because sometimes I’m a dumb who doesn’t know what to say.  Suffice to say, I’ve been doing a metric fucktonne of thinking about this subject.  

I have been forced to conclude that I do not have sufficient evidence to believe in Gods, any Gods, much as I desperately want to believe the Netjeru are real.  I’m not saying the Gods are absolutely not real, because I don’t know, but I don’t currently have the evidence to confirm Their existence, and I can’t rightly believe in Them until I do.

There’s some irony that one of the main things that led me to this conclusion is ma’at, and the importance of truth to the upholding of ma’at.  Part of living in ma’at is endeavouring to believe as many true things as possible.

The thing is, this whole religion thing is actually pretty great, and I don’t want to abandon it completely.  Ma’at gives me a meaningful moral philosophy, and the idea that we are helping the Gods fight the Entropic Serpent by upholding ma’at and fighting isfet in our own lives is encouraging and comforting to me.  Further, the acts of doing my religion, like giving offerings, and saying prayers is comforting, and fulfills a need I have for ritual and ceremony in my life.  Doing Kemeticism, and living in ma’at is still meaningful and important to me, even though I cannot say the Netjeru are truly, really, real.  (And ancient Egypt is still pretty damn interesting.)

Honestly, I’m still getting used to this paradigm shift in my brain.  In most ways, nothing in my life has changed.  I still try to live in ma’at.  I still say prayers, or give offerings when I’m moved to do so.  I’m still planning on more Seshat nail art heka for my upcoming thesis defence.  Because whether the Gods exist or not, these things still help me, and for that reason, I’m going to keep doing them.

Maybe, as I continue this way, I’ll gradually stop doing things like prayers, because I no longer believe anyone is listening.  Maybe it will start to feel hollow.  Maybe.  I don’t know.  Or maybe something will happen to me that will cause me to believe again.  But I’m going to do things this way and see what happens.  This religion thing has turned out to be some kind of journey, and I don’t know where or how it ends.

Somewhat unexpectedly for me, the one thing my changed outlook does affect is this tumblr.  This is because, while I’m not particularly changing how I do my religion, how I think about it, and consequently, talk about it, has changed, and I don’t really know how that’s going to translate to something like Tumblr.  For example, while I still love Seshat, her imagery, associations, and symbols, saying that I am devoted to her, follow her, or work with her have connotations that are now inaccurate.  I don’t really have the words for the thing I am trying now.  And I don’t want to give the impression that I believe a thing which I do not.

It’s the truth part of ma’at again.  Being honest and truthful is also part of living in ma’at.  I mean, that’s the whole point of finally sitting my butt down and writing this post, to be honest about what’s happening with my religiousity, to not mislead people, even accidentally whenever possible.  Because if you, my followers, want to follow someone who believes in the Gods, you should know that, currently, that’s not me.

Well, I guess, if you want to shun me and ostracise me from the community for not believing anymore, you can start that now.  I rather hope you won’t, though.  For what it’s worth, I still think of myself as Kemetic, as someone who is doing the religion, even if I don’t exactly believe it anymore.  But I don’t know if there’s ever been any kind of community consensus on whether an atheist Kemetic is a possible thing that can exist.

(That awkward pause, and ‘so, I guess that’s it’ that comes at the end of presentations.)

Thank you for reading.

[thepaperwitch]

What does that even mean?

So I guess I’m an atheist, now.

And I should probably stop avoiding the making of this post.  NGL though, I’m worried about potential backlash.

A week or so ago, I made this post about whether or not the Gods are real.  Several people gave me interesting things to think about.  I read all the responses, even though I didn’t respond or reblog them, because sometimes I’m a dumb who doesn’t know what to say.  Suffice to say, I’ve been doing a metric fucktonne of thinking about this subject.  

I have been forced to conclude that I do not have sufficient evidence to believe in Gods, any Gods, much as I desperately want to believe the Netjeru are real.  I’m not saying the Gods are absolutely not real, because I don’t know, but I don’t currently have the evidence to confirm Their existence, and I can’t rightly believe in Them until I do.

There’s some irony that one of the main things that led me to this conclusion is ma’at, and the importance of truth to the upholding of ma’at.  Part of living in ma’at is endeavouring to believe as many true things as possible.

The thing is, this whole religion thing is actually pretty great, and I don’t want to abandon it completely.  Ma’at gives me a meaningful moral philosophy, and the idea that we are helping the Gods fight the Entropic Serpent by upholding ma’at and fighting isfet in our own lives is encouraging and comforting to me.  Further, the acts of doing my religion, like giving offerings, and saying prayers is comforting, and fulfills a need I have for ritual and ceremony in my life.  Doing Kemeticism, and living in ma’at is still meaningful and important to me, even though I cannot say the Netjeru are truly, really, real.  (And ancient Egypt is still pretty damn interesting.)

Honestly, I’m still getting used to this paradigm shift in my brain.  In most ways, nothing in my life has changed.  I still try to live in ma’at.  I still say prayers, or give offerings when I’m moved to do so.  I’m still planning on more Seshat nail art heka for my upcoming thesis defence.  Because whether the Gods exist or not, these things still help me, and for that reason, I’m going to keep doing them.

Maybe, as I continue this way, I’ll gradually stop doing things like prayers, because I no longer believe anyone is listening.  Maybe it will start to feel hollow.  Maybe.  I don’t know.  Or maybe something will happen to me that will cause me to believe again.  But I’m going to do things this way and see what happens.  This religion thing has turned out to be some kind of journey, and I don’t know where or how it ends.

Somewhat unexpectedly for me, the one thing my changed outlook does affect is this tumblr.  This is because, while I’m not particularly changing how I do my religion, how I think about it, and consequently, talk about it, has changed, and I don’t really know how that’s going to translate to something like Tumblr.  For example, while I still love Seshat, her imagery, associations, and symbols, saying that I am devoted to her, follow her, or work with her have connotations that are now inaccurate.  I don’t really have the words for the thing I am trying now.  And I don’t want to give the impression that I believe a thing which I do not.

It’s the truth part of ma’at again.  Being honest and truthful is also part of living in ma’at.  I mean, that’s the whole point of finally sitting my butt down and writing this post, to be honest about what’s happening with my religiousity, to not mislead people, even accidentally whenever possible.  Because if you, my followers, want to follow someone who believes in the Gods, you should know that, currently, that’s not me.

Well, I guess, if you want to shun me and ostracise me from the community for not believing anymore, you can start that now.  I rather hope you won’t, though.  For what it’s worth, I still think of myself as Kemetic, as someone who is doing the religion, even if I don’t exactly believe it anymore.  But I don’t know if there’s ever been any kind of community consensus on whether an atheist Kemetic is a possible thing that can exist.

(That awkward pause, and ‘so, I guess that’s it’ that comes at the end of presentations.)

Thank you for reading.

[thepaperwitch]

Also relevant to this blog, because Seshat.

Seshat nail art in three easy steps.  Done over three days, it probably took me around 3 hours total to do, drawing tiny leopard spots, and then drawing and redrawing tiny hieroglyphs.  But I was doing my nails for a very special occasion.

I defended my thesis, and BECAME A DOCTOR!!!

I did spend a long time on my nails, but I spent way more time preparing for my  defence.  That was probably the most intense three hours of my life, and two days later, it still hasn’t really sunk in that I did it.

I chose the hieroglyphs to be encouraging, ‘speech’, ‘speak’, ‘words’, ‘truth’ and ‘Seshat’, who is the Goddess of scribes, libraries, and knowledge.

[thepaperwitch]

Hey, so, I meant to reply earlier, but life happened.  

To be more technical, I’d say I’m an agnostic atheist (and most atheists, if they’re being honest, are).  Which is to say, I don’t know whether Gods exist (agnostic), but don’t currently believe in them (atheist).  I would have previously described myself as an agnostic polytheist, i.e. I don’t know whether the Gods exist, but I believed in them.  So, (a)gnosticism is a knowledge claim, and (a)theism is a belief claim.  And it’s my belief about the Gods that has changed, not my knowledge.

There are also gnostic atheist (I know that Gods don’t exist and also don’t believe in them) and antitheists (I think all religion should be dismantled).  I feel like these are the kinds of atheists that tend to be loud on the internet, and make memes to mock Christians, &c.  Plus alot of atheists go through an angry atheist phase as they get out of religion, even if they calm down and take up a more reasonable position later.  This sort of thing has always made me wary of atheists on the internet, so I totally get why other people are going to be wary of self-proclaimed atheists, too.  I guess just calling myself an agnostic would be easier, but it wouldn’t be, in my opinion, as honest.

I have to say, I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how much support I’ve gotten, when I was half expecting ridicule instead.  Which is nice, considering I’m still practising Kemeticism, and living in ma’at to the best of my ability, current non-belief not withstanding, and I’d be sad to not have this bit of community.

So I guess I’m an atheist, now.

And I should probably stop avoiding the making of this post.  NGL though, I’m worried about potential backlash.

A week or so ago, I made this post about whether or not the Gods are real.  Several people gave me interesting things to think about.  I read all the responses, even though I didn’t respond or reblog them, because sometimes I’m a dumb who doesn’t know what to say.  Suffice to say, I’ve been doing a metric fucktonne of thinking about this subject.  

I have been forced to conclude that I do not have sufficient evidence to believe in Gods, any Gods, much as I desperately want to believe the Netjeru are real.  I’m not saying the Gods are absolutely not real, because I don’t know, but I don’t currently have the evidence to confirm Their existence, and I can’t rightly believe in Them until I do.

There’s some irony that one of the main things that led me to this conclusion is ma’at, and the importance of truth to the upholding of ma’at.  Part of living in ma’at is endeavouring to believe as many true things as possible.

The thing is, this whole religion thing is actually pretty great, and I don’t want to abandon it completely.  Ma’at gives me a meaningful moral philosophy, and the idea that we are helping the Gods fight the Entropic Serpent by upholding ma’at and fighting isfet in our own lives is encouraging and comforting to me.  Further, the acts of doing my religion, like giving offerings, and saying prayers is comforting, and fulfills a need I have for ritual and ceremony in my life.  Doing Kemeticism, and living in ma’at is still meaningful and important to me, even though I cannot say the Netjeru are truly, really, real.  (And ancient Egypt is still pretty damn interesting.)

Honestly, I’m still getting used to this paradigm shift in my brain.  In most ways, nothing in my life has changed.  I still try to live in ma’at.  I still say prayers, or give offerings when I’m moved to do so.  I’m still planning on more Seshat nail art heka for my upcoming thesis defence.  Because whether the Gods exist or not, these things still help me, and for that reason, I’m going to keep doing them.

Maybe, as I continue this way, I’ll gradually stop doing things like prayers, because I no longer believe anyone is listening.  Maybe it will start to feel hollow.  Maybe.  I don’t know.  Or maybe something will happen to me that will cause me to believe again.  But I’m going to do things this way and see what happens.  This religion thing has turned out to be some kind of journey, and I don’t know where or how it ends.

Somewhat unexpectedly for me, the one thing my changed outlook does affect is this tumblr.  This is because, while I’m not particularly changing how I do my religion, how I think about it, and consequently, talk about it, has changed, and I don’t really know how that’s going to translate to something like Tumblr.  For example, while I still love Seshat, her imagery, associations, and symbols, saying that I am devoted to her, follow her, or work with her have connotations that are now inaccurate.  I don’t really have the words for the thing I am trying now.  And I don’t want to give the impression that I believe a thing which I do not.

It’s the truth part of ma’at again.  Being honest and truthful is also part of living in ma’at.  I mean, that’s the whole point of finally sitting my butt down and writing this post, to be honest about what’s happening with my religiousity, to not mislead people, even accidentally whenever possible.  Because if you, my followers, want to follow someone who believes in the Gods, you should know that, currently, that’s not me.

Well, I guess, if you want to shun me and ostracise me from the community for not believing anymore, you can start that now.  I rather hope you won’t, though.  For what it’s worth, I still think of myself as Kemetic, as someone who is doing the religion, even if I don’t exactly believe it anymore.  But I don’t know if there’s ever been any kind of community consensus on whether an atheist Kemetic is a possible thing that can exist.

(That awkward pause, and ‘so, I guess that’s it’ that comes at the end of presentations.)

Thank you for reading.

[thepaperwitch]

I’ve fallen down a Mormonism rabbit hole.

I started listening to the Naked Mormonism podcast, and it turns out Mormon church history is WILD.  There’s Joseph Smith “translating” by sticking his face into a hat, borrowing from Freemasonry for Mormon temple rituals, and using revelation from God to tell his wife not to complain that he is sleeping around marrying multiple women.  And I’ve only scratched the surface.

This led me to also starting listening to the My Book of Mormon podcast, in which the podcaster reads and reacts to the Book of Mormon for the first time, which is a pretty entertaining way to read said book.

So far, I’ve learned three things about the Book of Mormon:

Joseph Smith and/or God, depending on who you believe authored the Book of Mormon was racist as fuck.  Because white-skinned people are good and Godly, but the darker your skin, the more sinful and evil you are.  Also, Native Americans totally deserved the genocide visited upon them by European colonists.  I don’t know how modern Mormons read that and are like, ‘yeah, sounds legit’. WTF

Orson Scott Card totally cribbed from the Book of Mormon for his Homecoming series (which I read back in highschool), except I don’t recall the blatant racism, and Card turned God into a super computer.  I’m now putting Card’s books on my to-read list because I want to see how much else is stolen from the Book of Mormon. XD

They totally had steel weaponry back in 600BC.  Not only steel swords, but Nephi had a steel bow (how does that even work?), and still managed to break it.  Just, steel.  In 600BC.  I can’t even.

This is not meant as mockery of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I mean, I follow an even smaller minority religion, so if you want to talk about people in glass houses throwing stones...  

Seriously, though, Mormonism is some fascinating stuff.

[thepaperwitch]

So I guess I’m an atheist, now.

And I should probably stop avoiding the making of this post.  NGL though, I’m worried about potential backlash.

A week or so ago, I made this post about whether or not the Gods are real.  Several people gave me interesting things to think about.  I read all the responses, even though I didn’t respond or reblog them, because sometimes I’m a dumb who doesn’t know what to say.  Suffice to say, I’ve been doing a metric fucktonne of thinking about this subject.  

I have been forced to conclude that I do not have sufficient evidence to believe in Gods, any Gods, much as I desperately want to believe the Netjeru are real.  I’m not saying the Gods are absolutely not real, because I don’t know, but I don’t currently have the evidence to confirm Their existence, and I can’t rightly believe in Them until I do.

There’s some irony that one of the main things that led me to this conclusion is ma’at, and the importance of truth to the upholding of ma’at.  Part of living in ma’at is endeavouring to believe as many true things as possible.

The thing is, this whole religion thing is actually pretty great, and I don’t want to abandon it completely.  Ma’at gives me a meaningful moral philosophy, and the idea that we are helping the Gods fight the Entropic Serpent by upholding ma’at and fighting isfet in our own lives is encouraging and comforting to me.  Further, the acts of doing my religion, like giving offerings, and saying prayers is comforting, and fulfills a need I have for ritual and ceremony in my life.  Doing Kemeticism, and living in ma’at is still meaningful and important to me, even though I cannot say the Netjeru are truly, really, real.  (And ancient Egypt is still pretty damn interesting.)

Honestly, I’m still getting used to this paradigm shift in my brain.  In most ways, nothing in my life has changed.  I still try to live in ma’at.  I still say prayers, or give offerings when I’m moved to do so.  I’m still planning on more Seshat nail art heka for my upcoming thesis defence.  Because whether the Gods exist or not, these things still help me, and for that reason, I’m going to keep doing them.

Maybe, as I continue this way, I’ll gradually stop doing things like prayers, because I no longer believe anyone is listening.  Maybe it will start to feel hollow.  Maybe.  I don’t know.  Or maybe something will happen to me that will cause me to believe again.  But I’m going to do things this way and see what happens.  This religion thing has turned out to be some kind of journey, and I don’t know where or how it ends.

Somewhat unexpectedly for me, the one thing my changed outlook does affect is this tumblr.  This is because, while I’m not particularly changing how I do my religion, how I think about it, and consequently, talk about it, has changed, and I don’t really know how that’s going to translate to something like Tumblr.  For example, while I still love Seshat, her imagery, associations, and symbols, saying that I am devoted to her, follow her, or work with her have connotations that are now inaccurate.  I don’t really have the words for the thing I am trying now.  And I don’t want to give the impression that I believe a thing which I do not.

It’s the truth part of ma’at again.  Being honest and truthful is also part of living in ma’at.  I mean, that’s the whole point of finally sitting my butt down and writing this post, to be honest about what’s happening with my religiousity, to not mislead people, even accidentally whenever possible.  Because if you, my followers, want to follow someone who believes in the Gods, you should know that, currently, that’s not me.

Well, I guess, if you want to shun me and ostracise me from the community for not believing anymore, you can start that now.  I rather hope you won’t, though.  For what it’s worth, I still think of myself as Kemetic, as someone who is doing the religion, even if I don’t exactly believe it anymore.  But I don’t know if there’s ever been any kind of community consensus on whether an atheist Kemetic is a possible thing that can exist.

(That awkward pause, and ‘so, I guess that’s it’ that comes at the end of presentations.)

Thank you for reading.

[thepaperwitch]

Oh shit, a religious crisis

aka, listening to atheists is dangerous. :P

So, here are some things I know about the world.

The Netjeru (Gods) may or may not exist.  I don’t have conclusive proof of there existence, but I believe in them.

One of the fundamental principles of ma’at is truth.  (Also justice, equity, and not being a dick, but those aren’t really relevant to this conversation.)

It is part of living in ma’at to believe as many true things, and as few false things as possible.

Faith is an unreliable tool for coming to conclusions about the truth of things.  Faith can ‘prove’ the Christian God, or Hindu Gods, or a Celestial Jellybean.  Therefore, I cannot use faith to know if my belief in the Netjeru is a true belief.

I have a hard time conceiving of a Godless world.  However, just because it is counter-intuitive, does not mean it is not true.  The Earth being round, and orbiting the Sun is also counter-intuitive.  Therefore, I cannot use intuition to know if my belief in the Netjeru is a true belief.

I have feelings that I associate with Gods’ presences, from the feelings I used to occasionally get during church services, to the feelings I get when making offerings now.  However, I also have a dæmon, a semi-autonomous imaginary friend whom I talk to regularly because thinking in dialogue helps me problem-solve.  My dæmon is entirely imaginary, but he talks back, and I can visualise him interacting with the world around me.  He feels more real than the (often very vague) emotional feedback I get from the Gods, but he is not.  Therefore, I cannot use feelings to know if my belief in the Netjeru is a true belief.

Answered prayers would be evidence of the existence of Gods.  I have had prayers that I felt were answered.  However, this hasn’t been with any consistency, nor in a way that could not have simply arisen from chance coincidence.  Therefore, answered prayers do not provide sufficient evidence for my to know if my belief in the Netjeru is a true belief.

Believing in something while lack insufficient evidence is a bad epistemological tool.  Because, no matter how much I may guard against it, belief in one thing without sufficient evidence makes it easier to believe in other things without sufficient evidence.  In essence, I have an epistemological problem.  If I allow one belief based on flawed epistemological tools, how do I ensure that I am believing in as many true things as possible?

I desperately want to believe in the Netjeru.  My life lacks something without religious rituals.  Prayer helps me deal with difficult situations (regardless of whether said prayers are somehow answered, sometimes it just helps to reach out).  I love the Netjeru, and Seshat, especially, like not just a little bit, but alot.  (And some things, like performing ritual, I could do without a belief in any Gods).  But what is prayer if no-one is listening?

And yet, ma’at is truth.  Living in ma’at entails striving to believe as many true things and as few false things as possible.  And as I do not have sufficient evidence for believing in the Netjeru, it follows that the most ma’at thing to do would be to NOT believe until such time as a have sufficient sound, non-problematic evidence for their existence.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO I DO?!?

[thepaperwitch]

Seshat- calligraphy tools like fancy pens and ink bottles, drafting tools, maths, architectural plans, libraries, books, pages with writing on them, typewriters or stenography equipment, abacuses, old manuscripts, dogs but specifically hounds

There’s a bunch of overlap with Djehuty, I’m sure, because they shared a lot of the same ‘job’ if you will, but I hope that helps.

Fellow Kemetics of tumblr…

Would you mind giving me some of your deity associations? I’m working on some mood boards, but I am really getting stuck on the most obvious associations. I’m currently working on boards for Djehuty, Ma'at and Seshat but I am more than happy to work on other deities if you’re willing to point me in the right direction association-wise.

TL; DR

I’m working on moodboards for deities and getting stuck on the most obvious associations, so I want some of yours please.

[thepaperwitch]

Even Stargate knew Budge was a bad source.

Mind if I ask why there are Kemetics who say you shouldn’t read anything by Wallis Budge? What are the reasons?

The short version: because his work is incredibly inaccurate and laden with concepts and ideas that, frankly, have no place in his works.

the long(er) version.

and for those out there who are still in doubt, here is an egyptologist telling you he’s junk

[thepaperwitch]

Just had a wild idea

It’s been like 3000 years since I last mentioned knot magic using crochet, knitting and other “grandma” hobbies. First off, I still think they’re excellent ideas because color associations and a huge ability for freeform creations for long standing spells, but also what about just using energy? Knitting needles and crochet hooks can be made from all kinds of materials (however you’ll mostly find wooden ones to be the most accessible for witchcraft) and you might look a little silly but weaving/knitting/crocheting/embroidering with only energy would probably be a great way to focus or visualise magic and spells and energy. 

Like, need wards? Why not make an energy blanket? Or, you know, do the thing with yarn or embroidery floss? Like, embroidering your curtains with wards and protective sigils sounds good to me, hell, you could probably crochet curtains with thread yarn if you were enough of a masochist. Or regular yarn, but those would be like, really heavy and thick, might be better to knit them if you were gonna do that.

Oh, that makes me want to crochet a blanket for good dreams. Socks for safe travels or something, guardian amigurumi, possibilities are really endless.

[thepaperwitch]

So, I’ve decided to try the twitters, but I have no idea what I’m doing.  I’d love if people could suggest me good twitters to follow in the realms of:

Kemeticism

Polytheism (more generally)

Egyptology

Atheism

and/or any other twitterers that are just really great the everyone needs to follow.

[thepaperwitch]

Kind of disgusted with this “godspouse” thing… Why… People can’t even take sacred things seriously anymore…

[thepaperwitch]

Granted, I’m not Black, and Black-Kemetic Tumblr may have a different answer.  I am Kemetic, however, and as I don’t see any other Kemetics having responded, I hope I’m not out-of-line in responding.

But all my research indicates the Kemeticism is an open religion, given that it was open when it was practiced, and that it died out completely with Egypt’s conversion to Christianity in, I want to say, the third century AD. So that, to me, says that symbols like the ankh are open, too.  

It’s also worth noting that while ancient Egyptians were African (Egypt being in northern Africa), historical evidence suggests that they were genetically similar to modern Egyptians, and I don’t think modern Egyptians consider themselves Black?  Which to me says that Black people don’t have an exclusive right to say whether Kemetic symbols are open or not (not that there can’t be Black Kemetic organisations or sects that chose to exclude non-Black people, but that the religion as a whole is not exclusive to any particular race).

That being said, there is a Afrocentric Black-power movement that draws inspiration from ancient Egypt and is also called Kemeticism (or Kemetism).  That is a thing for Black people, and I, as a white person, stay well away from it.  It’s not a thing made for me, and I don’t belong there.  I think of the Black-power movement as different from Kemeticism as a religion, but people who are part of said movement may well not, and see other forms of Kemeticism (e.g. my religios practices) outside of their movement as appropriation by non-Blacks.  If that is the case, these people may also view use of Kemetic symbols like the ankh by non-Blacks as appropriation.  

Now, I don’t know if this is the case, because, as I said above, I mostly stay away from Afrocentric Kemeticism, but I have heard anecdotes of non-Black Kemetics being told they have the wrong skin colour to practice the religion.  At that point, I think it becomes up to the individual to decide which side of Kemeticism is right as to whether use of ancient Egyptian symbols by non-Blacks is appropriation.  Obviously, I, personally, have decided that use of ancient Egyptian imagery and symbols by non-Black people is not appropriation, but others will disagree with me.

Anyway, I really hope I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes with this response.  I really hope you also get PoC/Black Kemetic responses because as an outsider to Black experiences, I know my understanding is not going to be as nuanced compared to someone for whom this is lived experience, and I’m pretty worried I’ve gone and said something unintentionally racist because sometimes my biases sneak up on me despite my best effort to combat them.

is a non-black person using the ankh cultural appropriation? (like if is on an item of clothing/accessory?)

I’ve seen that conversation before, but it was by ankh niggas so I kind of brushed it off. But I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. But, can others from the Kemetic side of tumblr speak on up? I’m not in this religion so I feel like my opinion doesn’t really matter in this discussion. 

[thepaperwitch]

making of egyptian lovers