thepeanutbutterwizard - Tumblr blog

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

I understand the "I will die for you" ship dynamic, but what about the "I will not let you die, I will not let myself die- we will, at any cost, survive" kind of couple?

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

couldnt stop thinking about this (X)

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

instead of wanting to kill Tim for replacing him, Jason just wants to piss him off a little to keep him on his toes. he does this by changing his name and getting a degree in teaching, and then becoming Tim's English teacher at Gotham prep.

Tim is losing his mind because he swears on his life that his predecessor is literally his english teacher and is literally failing him- and nobody fucking believes him.

Jason thinks it's the funniest shit he's ever managed to pull off. it gets funnier when while on patrol, Red Hood runs into the bats, and instead of helping the others fight him, Red Robin throws down his bo staff down and screeches at the top of his lungs 'STOP GIVING ME FUCKING DETENTION'

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

*shows a video of a rabbit moving on tiptoe and a hare running on its hind legs*.

People: Oh this is so abnormal that scary, don't do that :(((((

Me: Ok

*Handstand rabbit screamer*

(This is real, it's not a paralyzed rabbit nor is it trained. It's a variety called sauteur d'Alfort that has a genetic mutation that affects its locomotion)

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

Seeing these two posts back to back makes me wonder how long it'll be before Brennan attacks Sam with a halberd

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

this is, honest to god, one of the funniest ads ive seen in a long time.

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

So, thanks to President Biden’s Infrastructure Bill, remote locations on the Navajo Nation Reservation will be receiving electricity for the first time — ever.

Also, water treatment devices are being developed to help the tribe access clean running water. After decades without.

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

original post

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed).

Bonus:

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

"if you ship this thing it's because you're too naïve to understand that it's toxic and that you wouldn't like a relationship like this" actually it's because I see one of them as a mentos drop and the other as a bottle of coke zero and I want to watch the mess they'll be together

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

hunter watch out don't turn away there's a little misogynist behind you

(based on this meme and this beta hunter design ofc)