thephoenixsmusings

[thephoenixsmusings]

My family is the biggest contributor to who I am today. They treat me so bad I wouldn't know how to be treated well. When I was home,I felt no love, always try the unwanted child,the beast of burden,clean this...clean that . beatings if not done correctly.I worked so hard to get out

When I finally got out...it was my money they came for...give us money,we raised you...support your siblings... don't leave us hanging...I gave... even when I had none...it was never enough... gaslighting... your brother has done more...you need to manage finances well

I worked harder.got promotions...good now you can help us more...give more money...Their phone calls are no longer happy calls.what do you do when home is not home😩

[thephoenixsmusings]

A really hated me.I mean I have dated people that hated me before but this one hated me to the core.This man chased me for a year,sat down with me and planned a future,got me pregnant and stayed long enough to ensure it was viable then disappeared.I carried my baby alone,no love,no hugs,no rubbing of swollen feet,no dinner.vommitted on my own, hospital visits on my own, planned everything on my own,fed my own cravings and on days I had no money for cravings cried myself to sleep,I made a birth plan on my own,felt my baby move on my own. I chose a hospital on my own,packed a bag on my own,fueled the car on my own.His Royal Highness showed up the day before my C-section at 10 pm...may you never no peace

[thephoenixsmusings]

Maybe it's time to give up when it comes to dating and relationships.afterall,noone ever gives a shit about me.noone thinks of me when they wake up or bothers to ask if am ok. It's time to stop waiting and hoping.its been 32 years and noone has bothered

[thephoenixsmusings]

22.06.2022

my life changed forever...for better of for worse, I don't know yet. Shittiest day of my life

#findingpeace#healing#randomthoughts#heartbreak

[thephoenixsmusings]

Realizing that I have been on this earth for 32 years and yet have never felt really loved. I have loved deeply but have never been loved deeply.#randomthoughts#heartbreak#findingpeace

[thephoenixsmusings]

Am still here, everyday I keep waking up so I might as well live life to the fullest.here to express myself in words#choosingme