theplanetsjupiter - Tumblr blog

[theplanetsjupiter]

IM A FUCKING MEN MAGNET

HE JUST ASKED ME TO HANG OUT BEFORE HE LEAVES AFTER ONLY KNOWING FOR ONE DAY ASHJCBBBBBAGSJKSJK

[theplanetsjupiter]

ALSO

ive been noticing that i settle for lame/ugly men because i feel like thats the only type i can pull 

[theplanetsjupiter]

i wished i didnt fuck this up either

BROOOO

this guy can sing, has abs (works out), is ranked 30 something, has cute live animations as his lock screen, is good at physics, comp sci, and confident as hell. 

[theplanetsjupiter]

holy shit i dont even know where to begin. This is me updating a year later. I have a lot to say but im tired so ill keep it brief. First of all, its fucking crazy how i still compare to people. I would say its my number one flaw and thing that brings me down. Hopefully future Paola (you reading this) no longer compares herself. That would me admirable for little you. Second of all, I started off senior year with Soha’s friend group (the mun banquet was not that slay but things worked out with Soha)(The mun banquet was actually yesterday and my gf went to it)(Also Soha was such a fucking goat for including me on her friend group and activities and for being the only person genuinely interested in becoming friends with me in a long time)and ngl its the end of the year and even tho I feel so close to some of them, I wouldnt call them my high school friend group that I can meet up with later althought now that Im saying it maybe I can. OK what im trying to say is that we are not super tight. Fuck i dont even know what colleges some of said friends are going to. And ofc i circle this back to myself. I feel like i need to know myself better to know others. Anyways but what i wanted to say is that i found a better friend group in the most unexpected way: my APES table. Forever grateful for them, they even feel like my cousins. Even tho we are not super close to the point where Escuela was (i mean like texting everyday) (bruh AGAIN comparing myself) they are still the closest thing to a friend group i have had maybe in high school. I fit in and we joke with each other and we have inside jokes and we can also be vulnerable. I will miss them so much. Anyways, i saw  a girl on tiktok say how she never really had a friend group in high school and was mostly friends with everyone and at one point wondered of there was something wrong with her and i related to it so much. But she did say that the perfect people will come along and I 100% believe that that was reflected in my apes table and hopefully in college. Another thing, I am grateful I left Victoria. Friendships would have gotten shitty so fast because i dont fw greenly no more. i went to their prom as a senior and i fucking loved it except when i got there all the girls didnt even welcome me. but i still had so much fun so fuck them. um i feel like i had more to say but i said everything that i felt i needed to get out so we are good

update

i mean i feel like its def been like a year since i started this whole online diary entry thing. happy anniversary? i cant sleep because i watched part of stranger things season 4 and now im scared and yeah thats how i ended up here. Anyways. shit happened. I got so busy with tompkins and lowkey i feel like im doing better. Ngl junior year has been depressing. but i like it more in katy. Holy shit i have so much to say. In victoria, grades were easy and i was not motivated so that meant that I only focused on how i was doing socially and idk but it was sad. I mostly felt like i didnt fit in into a single friend group, i kept comparing myself to people like laccey who could fit in into any group and everyone liked her or like mae (and i still compare myself to people but I’ll get on it). But i dont wanna say i was depressed because I wasnt. I was just unhappy in victoria. Doesnt mean i dont miss it. Fuck, sometimes ill just miss going into heb or ross but either I’m in denial or I really dont miss the people. I thought/think theres something wrong with me. Its hard for me to make connections. I dont fucking know why but i want to fix it because i want a cool friend group; some people i cant truly be myself around and make me be like “damn i loved high school”. But anyways back to the school change. Im glad i left people in victoria. I was unhappy, felt like my friendships were shit, i (felt like) was starting to lose sasha, i felt like i couldnt make other friends/ join another friendgroup where i could be myself, etc. PLUS OMG greenly started dating Daniel which then led yo them merging friendgroups MY friendgroups which i wouldve hated. So yeah happy i left victoria. Then i came to tompkins and then i was like oh shit these people are something else. And like i could go more into detail but i dont want to rn. I will say though, i was so focused on doing good that the morning after i called syenna and found out she no longer gave a shit about me i was like “im not gonna let my emotions get in the way” and so i did my homework and focused on only that. ANyways i feel like im happier but maybe thats only because im distracted from sadness. But yes i definitely feel better than victoria. (i have this theory that the more you work hard, the happier you are) I got out of my comfort zone and i like myself more. my “goal” used to be to got back to 9th grade me but i realized that past is past and like old me wouldve thought this was crazy but i no longer care about “going back to 9th grade me”. in fact, i actually forgot i wanted to do that or the fact that i did all that shit in 9th grade. im just gonna remember it as proof that i can do it. i can become social. and this time i no longer care about “fixing” or “repairing” myself but reinventing. Im doing better with grades (fuck physics) and i feel like im improving socially. people are asking me to hang out. soha actually invited me as her plus one to the mun banquet which hopefully ill update you later (which btw i dont even want to make any predictions about bc i dont wanna jinx it). but yeah i am going to stop here because i feel like i have a lot more to say but rn i cant rememeber. so yeah im not yet at the stage where im like “damn i really like who im becoming” but i like who im becoming. Im not there yet, i still have a lot of shit i want to improve but i feel better about myself. i no longer feel the need to desperately go back to my 9th grade self,or want to be like other people (ok maybe i still do this cough cough fiona) um now idk how to end this but this isnt fucking lang so here it ends

[theplanetsjupiter]

correction

nvm seems like i always come back here when i cant sleep 

[theplanetsjupiter]

literally just threw out her letter a few minutes ago because i was like fuck it im putting her on a pedestal when she prob doesnt even think about me plus im in a happy and healthy relationship with a girl who loves me

nah cause i cant stop thinking about her

[theplanetsjupiter]

i was literally thinking about this 30 miuntes ago wtf

damn bro

I really like this friend group 

[theplanetsjupiter]

lmao seems like i always come back around may

[theplanetsjupiter]

yeah no fr i sound like a pick me boy

academic rivals to lovers?

so i learned that thats my favorite trope and like THIS IS EXACLTY WHATS HAPPENING BETWEEN THE GUY I LIKE AND ME so heres how i was gonna confess my feelings:

“I’m gonna confess something and you may not feel the same way but hear me out. I like you in a way and I’m not sure how to explain it. Like i like you but sometimes you are an asshole but you are like so hot and beleive me the last thing I wanna do is fucking boost your ego so im not gonna go into detail as to why i like you unless you ask. I guess what I’m saying is, I like you or whatever”

[theplanetsjupiter]

[theplanetsjupiter]

i fucking hate my dad

[theplanetsjupiter]

i was about to say fuck cherries but nvm

[theplanetsjupiter]

BROOOO

this guy can sing, has abs (works out), is ranked 30 something, has cute live animations as his lock screen, is good at physics, comp sci, and confident as hell. 

[theplanetsjupiter]

im scared to check twitter because i know mfs def spoiled stranger things on there

[theplanetsjupiter]

update

i mean i feel like its def been like a year since i started this whole online diary entry thing. happy anniversary? i cant sleep because i watched part of stranger things season 4 and now im scared and yeah thats how i ended up here. Anyways. shit happened. I got so busy with tompkins and lowkey i feel like im doing better. Ngl junior year has been depressing. but i like it more in katy. Holy shit i have so much to say. In victoria, grades were easy and i was not motivated so that meant that I only focused on how i was doing socially and idk but it was sad. I mostly felt like i didnt fit in into a single friend group, i kept comparing myself to people like laccey who could fit in into any group and everyone liked her or like mae (and i still compare myself to people but I’ll get on it). But i dont wanna say i was depressed because I wasnt. I was just unhappy in victoria. Doesnt mean i dont miss it. Fuck, sometimes ill just miss going into heb or ross but either I’m in denial or I really dont miss the people. I thought/think theres something wrong with me. Its hard for me to make connections. I dont fucking know why but i want to fix it because i want a cool friend group; some people i cant truly be myself around and make me be like “damn i loved high school”. But anyways back to the school change. Im glad i left people in victoria. I was unhappy, felt like my friendships were shit, i (felt like) was starting to lose sasha, i felt like i couldnt make other friends/ join another friendgroup where i could be myself, etc. PLUS OMG greenly started dating Daniel which then led yo them merging friendgroups MY friendgroups which i wouldve hated. So yeah happy i left victoria. Then i came to tompkins and then i was like oh shit these people are something else. And like i could go more into detail but i dont want to rn. I will say though, i was so focused on doing good that the morning after i called syenna and found out she no longer gave a shit about me i was like “im not gonna let my emotions get in the way” and so i did my homework and focused on only that. ANyways i feel like im happier but maybe thats only because im distracted from sadness. But yes i definitely feel better than victoria. (i have this theory that the more you work hard, the happier you are) I got out of my comfort zone and i like myself more. my “goal” used to be to got back to 9th grade me but i realized that past is past and like old me wouldve thought this was crazy but i no longer care about “going back to 9th grade me”. in fact, i actually forgot i wanted to do that or the fact that i did all that shit in 9th grade. im just gonna remember it as proof that i can do it. i can become social. and this time i no longer care about “fixing” or “repairing” myself but reinventing. Im doing better with grades (fuck physics) and i feel like im improving socially. people are asking me to hang out. soha actually invited me as her plus one to the mun banquet which hopefully ill update you later (which btw i dont even want to make any predictions about bc i dont wanna jinx it). but yeah i am going to stop here because i feel like i have a lot more to say but rn i cant rememeber. so yeah im not yet at the stage where im like “damn i really like who im becoming” but i like who im becoming. Im not there yet, i still have a lot of shit i want to improve but i feel better about myself. i no longer feel the need to desperately go back to my 9th grade self,or want to be like other people (ok maybe i still do this cough cough fiona) um now idk how to end this but this isnt fucking lang so here it ends

[theplanetsjupiter]

omg first rant from tompkins

why is no one on google drive working on their essay like bitch do they all just finish before 3 pm?

[theplanetsjupiter]

yeah def wyatt

nah cause why am i so disgusted when he seeks me but like once we start talking im like ajhdjbha hes such a cutie