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[thepoojaa]

the train has left the station

new year resolutions? what? aren’t they just promises we make to ourselves for pushing ourselves towards a better version of ourself and probably surely failing to achieve it and giving up in the first few weeks? i made a resolution, to wake up earlier every day. day 2, i am up at 5 am. no not majorly because of the resolution but because of the train i have at 6am.

its 6am. the train has left the station. i don't why but railway stations always leave me emotional and lets me enter a zone of deep thinking, of introspection and of realising what life is. let me share my insights here today.

sitting on the very seat leaves me nostalgic, thinking about the good old days when travelling to nana's place was a religious practice every year. excited, worried. happy, sad. a mix of emotions for both leaving this place and going to a new place for a month. genuinely, it feels the same even today, just the destination and the duration have changed. every time i sit on this seat now, it feels like how good was my childhood, no regrets at first and surely not a tinge of adulthood. i ponder upon the person i have to become once i reach the destination, away from my family, excepting and living in the survival mode, responsible for my life entirely, no escapes at all.

as the train starts moving slowly, i realise all the things we grew up with in our childhood which we have slowly outgrown of. those candies, those colourful handkerchiefs, those childhood friends, that childhood belief of believing myself above and beyond everything. as we grew up, the candies went away, a plain white handkerchief replaced the space of the older ones, the few friends whom we meet rarely and the belief that is now partly shattered by our belief of resting our faith in other's opinion.

as the train gains its speed, what all i can think about is the hustle and bustle of this lifestyle that am into right now. endless deadlines, the need to be always updated with everything around and the traces of other's existence which comes forth and leaves in the blink of an eye. the constant desire to be running in a race whose destination is unknown, participants is an unknown set of human populate, or even the robotic crowd who knows?

the constant need of validation, the urge to be liked and appreciated has somehow taken human away from the prior belief of first and foremost believing in ourselves above and beyond everything.

all what i really hope for writing down in this book of 2023, this page onwards is my belief of loving and believing myself. all i want is to seek the peace and happiness i felt while resting my head on my mother's shoulders while sitting on the train seats, waiting it to reach nana's place.

[thepoojaa]

as the sun sets

as the sun sets, i am looking forward to the next day.

as the sun sets, i am looking forward to ponder upon my entire day, to acknowledge the rights and wrongs, to work on them and to become a better person tomorrow.

i really look forward to the rising sun, makes me believe i have the next entire day to change, to become a better version of myself, stronger, bolder and happier. a ray of light, a ray of hope.

as the year ends, i am looking forward to make this next year, my year! to work towards a better version of myself and to make myself a happier, healthier and better person by the end of it.

a vicious loop of life, giving us hope and making us believe that every beginning has an end and every end is a new beginning.