theprodigalrobot

[theprodigalrobot]

It's hard to believe, but back in the 80s and 90s, people were terrified of computer viruses. Nowadays, our computers are made entirely of weird apps made by marketing companies, and no longer do anything as useful as run a computer virus. Still, the fascination remains, and today we'll be talking to the younger generation about how to stay safe online.

First, a lot of you kids have never seen this. This is a "computer mouse." No, it can't spread hantavirus. That's not what we're talking about today. In fact, the computer mouse can be used to "click on" stuff on the World Wide Web. For instance, here is a picture of a cat. We're going to click on it to make it bigger. Yes, Julie? Yes, this does represent a sort of ethical dilemma for the mouse, very well observed. Please go next door, you've graduated to "Shut The Fuck Up 201."

Whenever you get an email from one of your cyber-buddies, you're going to need to check it carefully. Often, people can pretend to be folks they're not online. Virtually all of them are cops. Just take all your email and put it here, in the trash. Never look at it again. Tell your boss it's a religious thing; he'll be afraid to fire you.

Here's the most important part about using a computer safely. Floppy disks. Now, you're going to want to only bathe with these if you have soft water. You mountain hicks, limit it to a five minute shower at most. Otherwise, they'll catch cold, and that's when your computer gets sick. That's how Florence Packard-Bell died, you know. Trying to use a copy of SkyRoads that was left out in the rain.

Class is almost over! Don't run out, your homework for next week's class is to find three cool-looking leaves, so we can do a leaf rubbing of them. We're all gonna do a much-needed lesson in "not using a computer for thirty God damned minutes if it kills us."

[theprodigalrobot]

what if during their life changing field trip toph and zuko picked up a new chill hobby

[theprodigalrobot]

So I heard tumblr dot com likes Mini mum?

[theprodigalrobot]

tiktok from rushadicus

gang what do we think, is this folkpunk?

[theprodigalrobot]

3-5 turkey vultures will soon be dispatched to your location.

[theprodigalrobot]

Congratulations to all AO3 users! Important Milestone reached!

Bookmark database overran!

[theprodigalrobot]

Lord knows that the United States has and continues to commit atrocities. I can't justify that. And the current political situation here is scary as hell. But I love this place. I love the Atlantic Ocean and New York City and the Pacific Northwest. I love my Blue Ridge Mountains with my whole entire heart. I love cardinals and mockingbirds and kudzu and possums and black rat snakes and the way the woods smell in the mornings. 

I love that Americans are known for complimenting strangers. I love that we fry everything, and that we do it well. I love 12-foot-high plastic Halloween skeletons in people’s yards and tacky Christmas lights that stay up too long. I love that we are an unabashedly goofy people.

I love bluegrass music. I love stepping. I love that there are always folklorico dancers in my town’s Mardi Gras parade. I love that my town has a Mardi Gras parade, even though most people here aren’t Catholic or French and didn’t grow up with any kind of Carnivale tradition. I love that if "Livin On A Prayer" comes on a pizzeria, at least one person at each table won't be able to stop themselves from singing along. I love that the middle school gym shakes to the rafters when families cheer for THEIR baby finishing eighth grade and that they bring balloons and bouquets and flower garlands to celebrate.

I love the 80 year old couple at our local No Kings protest. I love all the little kids there with their families, too. I love the brass band that always shows up at protests here and plays old union songs and gospel music. I cry like a damn baby every time I hear “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing.”

This country is horrible and selfish and destructive, but it’s also wonderful and kind and full of people loving and fighting and trying to make things better. And the people saying that there’s only one kind of real American, and that if you don’t look like they do or talk like they do or think like they do, then you don’t count, those people can go pound sand. I’m as real American as they come, and those people aren’t the only ones who get to love our country.

[theprodigalrobot]

i dont know why anyone else misses analog board games, but to me, it's because physical parts let me cheat. there's no moving pieces around when someone isnt looking in a chess app, no sneaking bonus pieces out of the graveyard in checkers, no double drawing cards in go fish.

i spent years developing those skills as a Professional Little Brother. what am i supposed to do now, go back to college? learn how to play games the right way? i mean, who gives a shit? the fun part was never the game, it was the Getting Away With It. or, you know, for the rest of my family, Catching The Bastard. now that was entertainment.

[theprodigalrobot]

Hot summer looks!

sunburnt+allergic reaction on my legs from getting bit by ants+mosquito bites+got into poison ivy+cuts all over my fingers from sharp grass+ripped some of my fingernails off

[theprodigalrobot]

TUMBLR IS SO BORING WITH ALL YOU NERDS AT DASHCON

♥

((you all better come back with some amazing tales))

[theprodigalrobot]

[theprodigalrobot]

do not raise a foul word against tofu in my presence

[theprodigalrobot]

I disapprove* of the United State's domestic and foreign policy. Our nation is lead by corporate interests, conspiracy theorists, and religious extremists who have hoodwinked half of our voters** into supporting policy that is harmful to themselves and only benefits the wealthy.

Happy Fourth of July 🇺🇸

Our federal government is being actively deconstructed from the top down so that white rich men (and corporations) can do whatever they want without government interference. And so that poor people can suffer for the benefit of the wealthy.

It will take decades to rebuild to where we were six months ago.

From an optimist's perspective, the faint silver lining is that as long as we have to rebuild fucking everything, maybe we can make the systems better next time.

And we're still a militaristic imperial world power that acts or manipulates international actions solely to enrich ourselves. That's always been true and is only getting worse/becoming more blatant.

So you know. usa! usa! usa! or whatever 🙄

* understatement

** people who actually cast a ballot in the 2024 presidential election

[theprodigalrobot]

happy 4th of july ! :’)

[theprodigalrobot]