therealieblog

[therealieblog]

[therealieblog]

I'm in a group for people who love to eat and cook and post about food, and the group creator posted "You know, you can buy a veggie tray whenever you want." with a gorgeous photo of a veggie tray, and I thought HOLY MOLY! I can actually do this! I've often bought them for work functions or get togethers with friends, but have never considered buying them to replace a salad at dinner, or just to snack on around the house.

It dawned on me when I saw that post, that we have a lot of food rules that don't really directly have to do with diet culture. Why can't you buy a birthday cake? A single serving one, or a regular size one that maybe you portion out and freeze, or just keep around the house because you love cake, and so does your family. Cake does not have to be for birthdays. Veggie trays do not have to be for parties.

[therealieblog]

You know I wish fatphobia was less pervasive. Even among people who consider themself as progressive, it's rampant. So quick reminder. No it's actually not easy to stop being fat, and it sucks that we are treated differently for something we really can't control. Shaming a fat person for being fat, and shaming them for not having the "willpower" to become skinny- is bigotry. And if all you talk to fat people about is weight loss and dieting- congratulations! You're being a dick! Stop.

[therealieblog]

Prescriptive diet culture, especially (but not exclusively) the sort aimed at losing weight, is ableist and sizeist, with frequent undertones of racism, classism, and sexism. It relies on the premise that all bodies can and should fit into a certain size and a certain range of “health” and ability, that fat and disabled bodies are inherently lesser, and frequently relies on patronizing or limiting the options of poor people for their alleged “own good,” stigmatizing or patronizing the food choices of non-European cultures, and judging women’s and perceived-women’s bodies more harshly than men’s bodies.

In response to this, various fat liberation, body positive, and health-at-every-size movements have arisen to challenge this narrative to varying degrees. One of the alternatives often promoted in these contexts is “intuitive eating,” in which people eat what their bodies crave, whenever they’re hungry, instead of following a prescriptive diet or schedule. This is framed as radical, liberatory rebellion and self-actualization against diet culture.

Intuitive eating is great for some people. However, there are some problems with promoting it as a universal solution.

First of all, “Everyone should eat intuitively” is just as prescriptive as any other prescriptive diet. It still frames food choices as something with a right and a wrong answer. What superficially sounds like “Eat whatever you want” actually becomes “You must eat whatever you want, and examine carefully whether you actually want it, and defend your choices accordingly.”

Secondly, intuitive eating is fundamentally inaccessible to the majority of the world’s population. Perhaps if we lived in a Star Trek universe where we could just command a replicator to create food and have it instantly ready for us, then most, if not all people, could eat intuitively. But in our own world, our food choices are constrained by time, money, and availability, as well as restrictions like allergies and sensitivities.

When I think about what food I want to eat, I have to think about what I already have. What I can afford to buy. What I have the time and energy to prepare. I might “intuit” that I crave a steak, but what I have readily on hand is a bowl of cereal. Intuition won’t help someone with chronic fatigue who can’t stand at a stove for long or chop vegetables, or someone on food stamps who has to stretch their budget, or someone who works long shifts and comes home exhausted, or a parent of three children with food allergies who only feeds themself leftover scraps from feeding them. Who has time and energy to cook a meal from scratch? Who has money to go out to a restaurant? Whose invisible and underpaid labor -- farm workers, grocery workers, restaurant cooks, homemakers -- does this system rely upon?

The third problem with promoting intuitive eating as a universal solution is that many foods are manufactured in such a way as to sensorily mislead the eater about their properties. The idea that “artificial” or “processed” foods are somehow “worse” than “natural” foods -- or that those are meaningful categories -- is ridiculous and baseless. However, it is a fact that many foods are made to mimic the look, taste, smell, and texture of foods they do not actually contain. This makes it harder for eaters to “intuit” a food’s properties by the usual means. Eaters may have to rely on ingredients lists and nutritional information rather than sensory input alone. This is especially true for people who have specific nutritional needs, like allergies or nutrient deficiencies, to either avoid or seek out specific food attributes.

Finally, even if all other obstacles were eliminated, some people are just not good at intuiting their own food needs. People with executive functioning disabilities may forget that they’re hungry, or not recognize their bodies’ hunger signals. Not everyone is naturally good at piloting a meat suit. Food is difficult, and it’s okay to need external reminders to refuel.

Intuitive eating rhetoric can sound suspiciously similar to the common rhetoric of the “natural” “wellness” movement, stemming from the premise that all bodies are born with a natural alignment to a certain standard of “health” and normative ability, and only external factors and individual choices can “corrupt” it. In reality, there are no normative bodies or abilities. Plenty of people are born with food-related disabilities, whether difficulty remembering to eat, anxiety, susceptibility to nutrient deficiency, allergies, diabetes, or all kinds of other conditions. Food is hard. Harder for some people than others. And that’s okay.

There’s nothing wrong with intuitive eating, but it’s not a universal solution to everyone’s food difficulties. We need affordable, accessible food for everyone. We need everyone to have the free time and support they need to perform all activities of daily living. We need living wages for everyone at every part of the food supply chain. We need clearly labeled food ingredients and nutritional values. We need a society where everyone has the resources, time, and support to eat whatever they want, and the information to know what they’re eating. And then, maybe, intuitive eating can be a more attainable goal for people who want it.

We also need a society in which bodily autonomy is respected, and people’s food choices and other health and bodily choices are rightly regarded as no one else’s business. We need widespread recognition that there’s no standard of health or ability that anyone “should” have and no way that anyone “should” eat, and that what matters is ensuring that everyone has equitable access to resources, which each individual can choose how to use, whether that’s eating frozen dinners every day, growing vegetables for fun, eating only purple things, or using a timer to remember when it’s time to eat. But until we achieve that society, “intuitive eating” might as well mean “let them eat cake.”

[therealieblog]

"Oh so we should just eat anything we want??"

Well actually YES but also:

Restricting food Does Stuff To Your Brain. "Restricting" doesn't mean stopping when you're full. I feel like this is what gets misunderstood a lot. It means placing rules and limits on food that supercede what your body is signalling that it wants. Let's use cookies as an example. Restricting would be:

- I can only have cookies when I deserve them.

- I can only have cookies when I'm alone.

- I can only have two cookies.

- I can only have low-calorie cookies.

- I can only have cookies on set days, or so-called cheat days.

- I can't have cookies.

- I can't have cookies in the house.

- I'm bad when I eat cookies.

- Cookies are a bad food and I must compensate for having eaten them.

Whether or not you stick to the restrictions you set, your brain is learning to be an anxious mess around cookies. It might want to avoid anywhere that has cookies. It might feel shame for wanting or eating cookies. It might get exhausted from suppressing the craving and decide to binge. It might go into binge mode every time you eat cookies because you've taught your body that This Will Not Be Available Whenever. It might feel ridiculously important to eat all the cookies while you can.

I know we're all so used to constantly talking about food, diets, weight and bodies, and it's completely normalised to look at absolutely everything you eat and assign it the level of guilt you're gonna feel for eating it, and to brag about not eating this and that, and to announce that you know it's a Naughty Indulgence when you eat anything sweet.

But oh my god, it's such a huge weight off your shoulders to just let yourself eat cookies because you wanted cookies and stop when you feel satiated and know that the cookies will be available next time you want cookies because you don't need to earn them in any way. Because a brain that knows it can have cookies whenever it wants cookies, doesn't crave cookies all the time. Nor does it feel any self-loathing when it does crave cookies.

And I just wish everyone a very chill brain and some cookies

[therealieblog]

Just a reminder that exercise without proper nourishment is extremely harmful to your body and pushes it into dangerous and traumatic survival mode. There are many physical and mental health benefits to a decent exercise regimen, but in order to properly enjoy them, you MUST nourish yourself as much as your body asks for. Exercise is for honoring what your body can do, NOT for the desperate pursuit of thinness!

(Not everyone is obligated to work out or pursue heavy exercise, by the way. This may not be ideal or accessible for some people. This is just a reminder for my fellow workout enthusiasts that yes, it is possible to take this in an unhealthy direction, and that's something to watch out for.)

[therealieblog]

People's fear of eating is intense. I work with an older woman who is constantly dieting "for her health", and at least once a day if not more, she bemoans wanting to eat things.

"I can't make corned beef for St. Patrick's day, or I'll eat all of it."

"I can't have chocolates in the house, because I'll eat them."

I am so sick of hearing this from multiple coworkers and friends every day or every week. This fear of food, and fear of eating. Fear of hunger that is a perfectly natural and unavoidable and enjoyable part of being human. Fearing your body's natural hunger is a sad thing. I used to live under that fear all day. I am so very glad I'm not afraid of eating things I want to eat any longer.

[therealieblog]

i used to fucking hate being a big girl but ngl, this shit kinda rocks

like tummy?? thighs????? pinchable cheeks??????? this is so baller

[therealieblog]

I am, like, a long running proponent of the "eat something and you'll feel better" crowd and am often one of the first people to suggest "maybe it's time for a snack before I get whipped into a frenzy" but I really do resent how instantaneous it is. like it'll feel like I'm having my worst day in months and then I'll start eating and literally before I even finish I'm like oh yeah the world is beautiful

[therealieblog]

The Natural

There's a person in my Intuitive Eating Facebook group that is not understanding the point behind Intuitive Eating, and this has been made clear by the aggressive and critical comments she makes on my posts.

She's basically saying that she avoids eating "crappy" and "unhealthy" food that does bad things to her health, and finds my posts about how restricting based on opinions outside of yourself being diet culture, "judgy" and "condescending".

According to her, when she eats those foods (you know, "cookies and candy and the like") she feels "crappy" and her physical issues act up.

I've told her that she has every right to avoid foods that hurt her body, but that it's interesting that the foods she deems off limits align exactly with diet culture foods.

The Natural is a person who claims to be eating intuitively, but then somehow still avoids eating foods they consider to be high in sugar, carbohydrates, fat, processed foods whatever.

This person has claimed that she's been practicing IE for years, but that she just "makes healthy decisions" "for her body". OH MY GOD, THAT IS TOTALLY FINE. The whole point behind Intuitive Eating is that YOU make the rules.

Thing is, the rules you're making are all diet culture rules.

A close friend of mine is also a "Natural". He became vegan "for his health". Great. But like, every time we get together, he waxes rhapsodic about how much he misses meat, then gets a chocolate pudding and has mozzarella sticks. He calls this "cheating". Then he's back to his heavy restricting "for his health" while calling that Intuitive Eating.

I asked him to please not use those words when describing his very intense diet culture restrictions. He didn't understand, but he did stop using that phrase.

If you're practicing Intuitive Eating by only buying groceries from the outside border of the supermarket (where all the unprocessed meats and veggies and baked goods exist) while staying away from the processed foods and desserts/snacks in the aisles, you aren't practicing IE.

If you're practicing IE and still categorizing foods as "crap" "unhealthy" or "fattening", you're not practicing IE.

The Natural is very drawn to fake IE blogs, because those blogs reinforce their beliefs, that their restrictions and how they are eating a lot more kale these days, is Intuitive Eating. It's totally not.

[therealieblog]

[therealieblog]

I used to think I was "addicted to carbs" because I couldn't control myself while eating them and would eat "too much"/binge.

It was nuts how long it took me to realize that I couldn't control myself around carbs because I was intensely restricting them. I stopped restricting them, and now, I just get tired of eating carbs and move on after I've had enough. Food as addictive substance is such diet culture bullshit.

this is just a quick reminder that you cannot get addicted to food

you can have an unhealthy relationship with food (for instance, restricting or dieting or eating more than you'd feel happy and comfortable with consuming) but you cannot be "addicted" to it

why? because just like breathing or drinking water or sleeping, it's something your body physically needs to survive

again, with anything your body needs, you can overdo or underdo it. that will always be true. balance is required in all aspects of life at one point or another. just practice intuitive eating and trust your body

sincerely, someone who has felt a hundred times better since i replaced fad diets with intuitive eating

[therealieblog]

Keep on the lookout for blogs that talk about "Moderation" and "Sensible eating"

Moderation is a diet word.

People usually hear me say that and flip out. "Moderation just means you should eat everything in... you know... moderation!!"

Yeah, and that's diet talk.

Why? Because it involves an opinion from outside your body. An opinion that usually encourages you to eat less. You don't hear underweight people who are trying to gain weight due to health issues being told to "eat in moderation."

"Eating in moderation" is just another way to say "portion control", no matter how rational and sensible it sounds.

You wouldn't be able to see that unless you'd eaten whatever you wanted for a few years, and learned the signals and signs from your body about what it wants and needs. Once you've done that, you are a self sustaining, self-knowing person, who can eat what is best for themselves without ANY intervention from other people's opinions.

Here's a hint: Sometimes "what's best for" you is to eat four slices of pepperoni pizza. You love pizza. You love pepperoni. You're very hungry. Eat four slices of pepperoni pizza. No one would ever suggest that amount of pizza as "moderation" but it's absolutely what your body wanted and needed at that moment. Maybe you had a really active day, or were really stressed out, and those four slices of pizza helped fill you up, calm you and make you happy. Maybe you ate them with friends, in a cozy restaurant. All of that has benefits to you beyond caloric intake.

Sometimes "what's best for" you might be to have a big salad for dinner, because you haven't gotten enough vegetables lately. Sometimes it's having a second piece of chocolate cake, because it's just so delicious. Sometimes "what's best for" you is to choose the whole grain cereal instead of Lucky Charms, because Lucky Charms hurts your stomach.

Same with "eating sensibly". Fuck eating sensibly. Either your diet is sensible for you because you make all the decisions about what to eat and when, or someone outside of you is trying to control what you eat by slyly suggesting it's not "sensible" or not "moderate".

[therealieblog]

Have ya'll seen this shit? It's an obesity care network, treating fatness as a literal "disease" that can be "cured". I'm so sorry, but "Inclusive Obesity Care Initiative" is an oxymoron. If you're calling fat people "obese" and diseased, then you're not being inclusive.

[therealieblog]

Please for the love of God do not tag your diet culture posts with "Intuitive Eating"

I get that you've decided to get "healthy" and so you found some completely-unfounded and un-researched fake information on Intuitive Eating from some diet culture blog, about how allowing yourself to have a few squares of dark chocolate or a piece of pizza once a week will help you "make peace with food" but also lose weight (of course), but just don't tag that shit as "intuitive eating."

It's literally not at all Intuitive Eating, and is in fact promoting the exact opposite of Intuitive Eating.

The first step in ACTUALLY practicing IE is to read Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch's book, Intuitive Eating (I suggest the 3rd/latest edition), or, Lindo Bacon's Health At Every Size.

Then, you follow a series of steps to unlearn bullshit advice like the kind you've put in your blog. To stop listening to the food police. To stop trash talking food. To DITCH the diet mentality, not to "eliminate cravings" for food by having two squares of dark chocolate a day or some shit.

Intuitive Eating is about removing all restrictions on food. People who tag diet culture bullshit as IE probably (at this point anyway) can't even fathom that as a concept. They've been starving themselves in one way or another for so many years, or even decades, that the concept of just eating as much pizza as you want, whenever you want must be horrifying and mind blowing in equal measure.

I don't honestly care if you don't get it. I just want you to stop tagging your diet advice as "Intuitive Eating". Call it "making peace with food" if you must (though it's the exact opposite of that). Call it "being healthy" or "taking care of yourself" or any number of other platitudes, but for the love of fucking god, please do not tag it Intuitive Eating. That's like tagging photos of extremely thin models with "body positive". Just stop.

[therealieblog]

[therealieblog]

How do you miss the point THIS BADLY? And this is sadly not the first time I have seen the people who make money and gain power off of oppressing fat people try to use intuitive eating (aka the furthest from dieting and intentional weight loss you can get) as a "weight loss method." I've even seen a literal published book about how to supposedly use intuitive eating to lose weight. The people in society who benefit from shoving fat people to the ground absolutely refuse to let go of using our fat bodies as the rungs of their ladder to the top