theresnowinnerorloser - Tumblr blog

[theresnowinnerorloser]

Hello, hi

yeah yeah yeahs concert tn

I wonder if it'll strike a chord

[theresnowinnerorloser]

[theresnowinnerorloser]

John Thomson.  China, 1869. 

[theresnowinnerorloser]

First Entry

Main entree, here it is.

I suck.

Plain and simple, there it is. When people ask what i'm interested in and I say "nothing" and shortly thereafter realize "oh wait, food!" I always circle back to what I initially and so strongly felt.

Ok, ok, sure, I have an interest in nature too....But really, outside of food and nature... Not much else. And I used to be so sad because I felt so lame. My social currency was at a resound -100,000,000.

But then I became sad. I realized what it meant bigger picture - and its pathetic that it took me so long to have this epiphany - but it meant I wasn't enjoying the experiences life has to offer :( I wasn't falling in love with anything. Nothing mystifies me, it's just bleh.

I look at people with hobbies and interests with such envy. People that are really skilled at it? Hate you even fucking more. Mentally disabled guy that knows every NY metro stop from north, south, east, west, ESPECIALLY FUCK YOU. Why do you get to have your purpose.

I realize how hateful I sound, but really, just to have an interest and love for something so deep, would be so nice. So beautifully poetic.

I started writing this because I read a girls blogpost Crybaby there are multiple y's in there somewhere but how am I to remember. She also runs a vintage store called kgvintage. My muse. I love her. I came across her instagram when I was looking for influencers in the area & found her post when I looked up the location Santa Anita Racetracks. She reminds me of my friend Nadine, so witty with their words, so chic and rich in their consumption and taste in the "fashion world." They know what to reference, what cool jargon to drop, what was in and was out in 1963. They love Sex and The City and imagine themselves to be Sarah Jessica Parker. I think I was too afraid of being a poser if I tried, but you know what, here it is. The beginning of the cultivation of my mind on Tumblr.

Tumblr, the place I used to go on in middle school and once I stepped away I realized maybe I wasnt depressed, maybe I was just on Tumblr too much. But looking back, those were the times I was most excited by the arts. I hope it happens again, I hope I feel again, and maybe it'll be the start middle and end to me living a more full life. (I also rediscovered tumblr for its porn4ladies haha) Ta ta for now.