theruminationtrap

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aren’t we lucky?

Aren’t we lucky? We’ve been bad people, dumb people, hurtful people, but we learned from every mistake. Aren’t we lucky to have learned, to have put it into practice, like jagged rocks in a tumbler we came out shiny smooth stones. Nothing can stick to us now, it all just glides off our surfaces, it was worth it, all the pain, it was worth it because now we’re invincible. 

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A Clock with Dying Batteries.

I think of myself as a clock with dying batteries. I’m not a broken clock, I work fine it’s just the batteries, so I have to keep a close eye on them. When the batteries start to die in a clock the hands start to lag, at first you’re just a few minutes behind but by the end of the day you’re hours behind. Every morning I wake up so far behind everyone else.  I have to consciously reset my clock everyday. Manually drags the hands forward. It’s my responsibility to make sure my clock is set to the same time as everyone else, if not, I’m already behind as soon as I step outside, as soon as I open my eyes, I would never catch up.

That’s what I used stoicism for, to reset my clock. Every morning before I had time to think, I would read a page of the daily stoic, my first thoughts would be about that quote, sometimes in anger, sometimes in agreement, I would write or ramble aloud in my room, until the clock hands were in the right place, then I would enter the world ready for it. I have to tell my brain what pathways to go down or it will pick all the wrong ones. Stoicism helped with that, but it doesn’t help everyone, there’s no simple answer.

That’s the real secret about mental health, you’re never fixed, there’s not a magical moment when it all clicks, when all the work you’ve done pays off and you can stop doing it. That’s another thing stoicism taught me, you’re not guaranteed the outcome, only the work. I’ve learned to really appreciate the work, the effort I put into to being the person I am. Which is good, because it’s a forever thing. Keep an eye on your batteries my friends.

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Quotes I want to remember: The Three Body Problem

Pages: 150, 179, 218, 240-241, 253, 265, 268, 291, 387-388

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Vocabulary List for The Three Body Problem: Book 1

Limpid - adj. (of a person's eyes) unclouded; clear.

Piteously - adv.  ​in a way that deserves pity or causes you to feel pity synonym pathetically

Particolored - adj. having or consisting of two or more different colors.

Eddy - n. a circular movement of water, counter to a main current, causing a small whirlpool.

Granary - n. a storehouse for grain

Pinyin - a Chinese word that means “phonetic spelling”. It's a system for transcribing Chinese characters into the Latin alphabet, and is the most common way to romanize Mandarin Chinese

Armillary - n. a model of the celestial globe constructed from rings and hoops, representing the equator, the tropics, and other celestial circles, and able to rotate on its axis

Geometer - n. A person skilled in geometry

Dun - adj. a dull grayish brown color

Corona - n. In astronomy, a corona is the outermost layer of a star’s atmosphere, made up of plasma or hot ionized gas. The word "corona" comes from the Latin word for "crown". 

Myopic - 1. Nearsighted 2. lacking imagination, foresight, or intellectual insight.

Presbyopic - Age related farsightedness

Sentries - n. a soldier stationed to keep guard or to control access to a place

Disconsolate - adj. without consolation  or comfort; unhappy.

Cathode- an electrode in a polarized electrical device that allows conventional current to leave the device. The name comes from cations, which are positively charged ions. 

Telemetry - Telemetry is used to obtain data on the internal functioning of missiles, rockets, unmanned planes, satellites, and probes, providing data on such factors as position, altitude, and speed as well as conditions like temperature, air pressure, wind speed, and radiation. Weather forecasters rely on telemetry to map weather patterns. Astronauts on the space shuttle are monitored with telemetry that measures and transmits readings on their blood pressure, respiration, and heart rates. Similar kinds of telemetry are used by biologists to study animals in the wild and keep track of their populations and movements. Telemetry is also widely used in modern agriculture, often to regulate irrigation.

Anachronistic - adj. belonging to a period other than that being portrayed.

Chitons - a sleeveless or short- sleeved tunic worn by men and women in Ancient Greece and Rome.

Interferometry - a technique that uses the interference of waves to extract information. It's a common tool in many fields, including engineering, oceanography, seismology, and fiber optics. 

Indolent - adj. wanting to avoid activity or exertion; lazy.

Parries - a fencing bladework maneuver intended to deflect or block an incoming attack.

Phalanx - a military formation

Halberd - a polearm ax weapon - The ji was a Chinese polearm weapon translated into English as halberd, though they are conceptually different weapons. They were used in one form or another for over 3000 years, from at least as early as the Zhou dynasty until the end of the Qing dynasty. They are still used for training in many Chinese martial arts. 

Syzygy - a conjunction or opposition, especially of the moon with the sun

Mien - a person's look or manner, especially one of a particular kind indicating their character or mood

Perturbation - a deviation of a system, moving object, or process from its regular or normal state or path, caused by an outside influence

Winch - a mechanical device that can adjust the tension of a rope or wire rope

Prosaic - commonplace and unromantic

Ephemeris - a table of computed positions and velocities of an orbiting body at specific times. It can also refer to an astronomical almanac that contains such tables

Cupronickel - an metal alloy of copper and nickel, known for its corrosion resistance and mechanical strength

Equanimity - evenness of mind especially under stress

Interminable - tiresomely long, seemingly with no end

Loess - an unstratified, geologically recent deposit of silty or loamy material that is usually buff or yellowish brown in color and is chiefly deposited by the wind

Promulgated - put into effect by official proclamation

Zither - a stringed instrument having usually 30 to 40 strings over a shallow horizontal soundboard and played with pick and fingers

Abutment - a structure built to support the lateral pressure of an arch or span, e.g. at the ends of a bridge

Perfunctorily - to do it because you have to, as a formality, often in a careless way

Princeps - any of various chief officials

Firmament - a celestial barrier that separated the heavenly waters above from the Earth below

Mesons - any of a group of fundamental particles (such as the pion and kaon) made up of a quark and an antiquark that are subject to the strong force and have zero or an integer number of quantum units of spin

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The Three Body Problem