thesealfriend

[thesealfriend]

A fun tip for decorating your bedroom is to put a handsome butch in your bed. Nothing makes a room come together like a butch snuggled up waiting for you to come to bed.

[thesealfriend]

Holy ground

[thesealfriend]

Today's Seals Are: MAMA, LOOK!

[thesealfriend]

Today's Seal Is: H. R. Giger

[thesealfriend]

hey random ass post but in the tags can you tell me what’s your number one safe food. like not necessarily your favorite food, but just thee most quintessential “ol’ reliable” that you can always manage to eat no matter how bad your sensory issues or mental illness is acting up.

mine is microwave popcorn (and bonus points for a chocolate milk to go with it)

[thesealfriend]

You’ve heard of “don’t monetize your hobbies”; get ready for "don’t master your hobbies".

Your hobbies are here to help you decompress and have fun. They do not have to be disciplines you toil over for expertise, unless that is something you genuinely enjoy doing.

It’s okay to enjoy language-learning without ever becoming fluent, or even conversational. It’s okay to like playing guitar even if you only know a few clumsy songs. You can read books and never finish them, bowl without ever scoring even halfway to perfect. We’re here to explore and play, and we cannot do that if we’re chasing perfection in everything we do.

[thesealfriend]

growing up I always wanted to be poorly understood by science

[thesealfriend]

Endlessly diabolical how you can't say words like rape and suicide uncensored without either being criticised by idiots or punished by conglomerates.

[thesealfriend]

British trans women did it again! I hope this courageous group starts crashing UK politicians' photo ops. If elected officials still refuse to call them women, then they have no grounds to arrest them.

[thesealfriend]

ewww

[thesealfriend]

Options are the top 10 according to IMDb (with two-parters shoved together), plus my favorite (Turn Left). I...expect a lot of "Other/Results", so if you want to volunteer your favorites for a second poll, feel free!

[thesealfriend]

Mutual to mutual communication

[thesealfriend]

schrödinger's flirting. i mean it as much as you do

[thesealfriend]

When you accidentally say the q word (quest) and your knight starts gently clanking from their happy wiggles like now you've done it, you have to send them into the dragon's lair or their helmet ploom will droop and they'll start waxing sad poetic in the moonlight

[thesealfriend]

tiny death roll

[thesealfriend]

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates approriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

[thesealfriend]

chronic pain diagnoses are all like yeah we don't know what this is or why it happens. we also don't know how to treat it. good luck out there soldier