thespeedatwhichlobstersdie - Tumblr blog

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I love Karpe, fucking legends tbh

went to my first rap concert on saturday and the highlights were the artist pointing intro he crowd to his children and talking about them for like 5 minutes followed up by him singing “jeg bruker ikke kondom” aka “i don’t wear a condom” and then later bringing out a 10 meter long blow up white shark that he tried to ride on over the crowd which he did not succeed in and fell 3 meters down into the crowd who then picked him up and crowd surfed him back onstage like im sorry but that was the most rock concert i’ve ever been to idc

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I like sunlight in my room the way I like sex- it can come inside, but never on my face

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I've been woken up before it was absolutely necessary and I am SEETHING

This is not the civilized world my ancestors had in mind

One of our own (my mom) decided to undo my hour of rest and for that she will pay (I'm going to move HER alarm)

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"argument's sake" is my favourite type of sake. We have so many. God's, heaven's, Pete's and fucks. Your own. Quite the variety. But nothing beats argument. I'm doing this wholly for the conflict. I am on the devil's payroll. I am just here to make things spicy

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I'm just a silly goose

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I'm really sad and I bought two ice creams

I already had one

........is this a sign to also have the other

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I'm feeling a lot like something wants to tear out of me

Like a whole person is trying to crawl out of my face

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How do you get over the fact that your dad says "feminist" like it's a swear word

How do you work up the courage to tell him you're already what he fears you might become

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Kind of sick of situationships who like to be intense but suddenly you're not conservative enough for them....like OFC I wasn't imagining us married or anything (I was) but now you tell me your family wouldn't approve of me...after all this time when you made me believe they'd love me....liar.

How dare you act like it's old hat or whatever. Like it shouldn't be news to me. I'm fine with you rejecting me (mostly. I think) but this is betrayal

Men cannot be trusted

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How do some people have like, really nice feet

I don't relate

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I wanted this on a tote bag but the girl fucked up the English font and I had told her I want SPECIFICALLY this one how do I explain to people that I take fonts SERIOUSLY

Like your handwriting font is cute but I'm going for a different vibe here, we mean business. I refused when you offered to embroider daisies free of charge because I want my enemies to feel unwelcome, not uwu.

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Me five min ago bc I forgot my Tumblr password and had to reset my pw

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you ever scream in pure fright and then pause to think, honestly, not my best work

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This. One. Fucking. Chin. Hair.

It's not the ONLY one. But it is the most annoying one. Simply because it WON'T leave my face

I am literally so consumed with annoyance I'm going to go pluck it rn brb

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Screenshot saved from a failed situationship.

I think most situationships are meant to fail, and I mostly just hear of people being down bad then it all goes down in a bad way

I don't like this person lol. I don't even wish them well. But I saved this because I guess it reminds me that there were people who really made me care for them, and they saw me for me.

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HARRY POTTER OHMAIGAT

I finished all the movies in succession for the first time guys. I am crying. Why did no one tell me there was so much crying

How do people who have roommates/partners deal with this. Y'all just walk into a room to find your person randomly weeping their eyes out and sobbing into their hands?? Is that legal?

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I keep seeing the Pride Knights on my dash (I don't follow them) and man, that is objectively the coolest name. Like why didn't I think of this. I want to be part of a knighthood??

Also, can't decide what my profile pic should be. I kinda like this little box. Why are things cute when they have no mouth?