theuglyducklinggc

[theuglyducklinggc]

Thea's opinion is clearly one that is of utmost important to Hannah. Before her response, she'd been holding her breath in suspense of it. And, when she receives an approving smile and such an appraising comment, Hannah can't help but smile in return. If there's one thing she can be proud of, it's her dance.

"Thank you." She breathes out, clasping her hands together in front of her chest.

Thea makes sure to walk along the edges of the room, keeping off the marley floor. She takes a spot in the middle of the mirror wall, crossing her arms and maintaining a neutral expression as she watches Hannah dance.

Thea watches every fluid movement with a keen eye. She sees every piqué, pas de chat, and plié. She may not be a dancer by trade but she never was one to not learn new things just because she didn't do it.

As it concludes, Thea allows Hannah a moment to breathe before she gives her a small approving smile.

"And that's the very talent that got you this studio," she says.

[theuglyducklinggc]

She's a little surprised that he's sitting with her now, but she's definitely not upset by it. On the contrary, she's rather excited to be able to talk about something she has so much passion for. She makes room for him on the bench, and without thinking much about it, offers him the bag of grain and bird seed she'd been feeding the ducks and other water fowl with.

"You think so?" She grins, leaning back in her seat with a giddy sort of excitement, "That's what always felt most important to me with ballet. It's the first lesson I give my students about it, now. To channel the emotions of a piece as best they can first, and then worry about the technicals after. We can always do variations on the choreography if they can't complete a particular move, but we can never manufacture true emotional storytelling. It's too important!"

Adam shakes his head like an excited puppy. He takes the seat next to her on the bench.

"No, that's absolutely it. You always told the story better than the others. I could actually follow along with what you were saying. Well, 'saying.'"

[theuglyducklinggc]

It makes Hannah feel bad to put her friend in a state of disappointment. Elinor is a good person. A truly good person, which is so rare to find. And letting them down is one of the worst things Hannah could do. But, she doesn't know how to please them without denying what is, in her own mind, a fundamental truth of reality. Making Elinor frown is awful. She'll have to make up for this somehow, someday. She'll figure something out.

But, even if she didn't feel that way, Hannah still would have lit up at what Elinor next brings up.

"You know, I think you're right. The studio itself is in the green. I could expand. Bring a lot of new talent here that would be wasted anywhere else. Actually bolster a different kind of ballet, with a different kind of talent." She smiles as she says it, genuinely quite inspired. "My only big hurdle is figuring out all the accounting that'll have to with it."

"Well, only if you really believe that," Elinor frowned for a slight moment, sort of sensing that Hannah was only conceding in order to change the subject. After years fighting in town halls, they could tell when someone was just saying what was needed to end the discussion. It wasn't as if Elinor didn't know about all of Hannah's deep-seated insecurities. It was just that, as far as they could tell, Hannah could've been a model, she was just holding herself back.

Then again... Elinor knew a thing or two about being held back, and it wasn't such a simple situation that one could just choose to free themself from. If Hannah didn't see herself as beautiful, that couldn't really be fixed by other people telling her she was.

"You should start a production company right here in New Hampshire - I bet you'd find a lot of people like you who want the same things," After all, if no one wanted to cast diverse shows, why not make their own? Often times, people who didn't fit into standards of beauty and desire had to make their own opportunities in life, "I bet your students would love to put something on at a real concert hall or have a real orchestra!"

[theuglyducklinggc]

He's insufferable. His completely unintentional condescension is utterly intolerable. Despite them both being mutual friends of Elinor, and very much having met in passing in the past, it's clear that the ire wasn't reciprocated. Or the recognition even reciprocated. Which only infuriates her more. But really, what was she expecting? For Perfect Peter Pevensie to remember some ugly girl he maybe met once while talking to a prettier, nicer, sweeter, more genuine friend? It makes her run hot with embarrassment and irritation.

"Well, neither of us are doing that anymore." She mutters, mostly to herself, but with the way the little alcohol she's drank so far has been making her head a bit fuzzy, it might be more audible than usual. She can't make the most of her night off with him here. So, she sets out to ruin his, too. Because she's a terrible friend, and an ugly girl, inside and out. But so is he, he just won't admit it.

She returns his stare with an incredulous blink, then a scoff, before turning swiftly as the bartender approaches with a much sweeter expression, a swiftly donned smiled, and requests another vodka-cranberry. It's received quickly, and drank much faster than her previous ones. Liquid courage, right?

Peter Pevensie is not what you would call a frequent consumer of alcohol, either. Too responsible for it, or so he would like to think, but the truth is that it simply did not agree with him. There was a tight control necessary to exercise the profession he did, to be the man that he feels that he needs to be, and to inhibit one’s senses is to let go of that control, for however briefly it may be.

There is no need for a deeper analysis on why he holds onto the reins of his own mind so tightly, he thinks. It’s simply called being mature and adult.

But every now and then, even the golden boy finds himself in the need of a moment alone. A moment where he can unwind, where he can set aside all the weight that he bears constantly on behalf of everyone else and breathe freely and reflect on all that he’s done, all that he is doing, all that he will do and what is it all for in the first place.

In these moments, he’s earned a little indulgence. The right to loosen his grip and slacken the reins for a few hours.

This is why he finds himself here now, in this seat at the corner of the bar counter, a near-empty glass of beer in his hand and already his third. Or what he thinks is his third, at the very least. So to be suddenly approached and questioned on his being here makes him blink, taking a drink from his beer before answering, turning his piercing blue gaze towards her:

“Same thing as you are, like as not. Making the most of my night off.”

@theuglyducklinggc

[theuglyducklinggc]

Hannah is not often a drinker. It's just not in her, and she's often far too busy to risk being hungover for any single morning. But tonight, she's feeling morose. No, more than morose. She's feeling downright despicable. And she has decided to brave this random sulky little bar in order to wallow her bitter feelings away on her lonesome. She'd shown up while the sun was dipping low in the sky, and now it's certainly nighttime, though what time of night it is, she can't say. It could be ten, or two in the morning. She doesn't know. She has nothing going on in the morning, she made sure of that.

She'd first ordered a shot of straight liquor, and while she did down that fine enough, it made her throat burn horrifically. So she had switched to a vodka-cranberry instead, and that went down a little smoother. She'd stuck to that after. And now, she's been nursing that for a while, chipping away at it slowly but surely.

And while sitting here, nursing this drink, she can't help but notice the newfound presence of the golden boy. And it irritates her. He irritates her. Maybe it's the vodka already working its way into her mind, but she changes seats, and speaks, albeit sarcastically.

"What a nice thing like you doing in a place like this?" It's supposed to be playful, but even to her own ears, it sounds accusatory. She doesn't own the bar, she can't kick him out, and it's not like they're in some back alley dive bar, but god, does she want to kick him out. Maybe if she's caustic enough, he'll leave.

@peterpevensiegc

[theuglyducklinggc]

"I did. We'll be sticking as closely to the original choreography as we can, but we'll be utilizing a few different variations as needed. Some moves, while dazzling, aren't built for my student's current skill level, and pushing them too fast past it would be unsafe. I'll have them attempt each of the movements first, before I make any judgment calls." She explains, growing more animated and less nervous the more she speaks about it. Talking about this, at least, doesn't seem to bother her.

However, she grows unsettled all over again when Thea insists upon watching her work. She feels small, all of a sudden. Not that this is Thea's fault, it's not, but she tends to feel silly and juvenile around her, like all her fretting and self-deprecation was as annoying and yet totally insignificant as a fly buzzing around the dinner table.

But, she nods, and leads Thea back towards the studio, where she stoops over the sound system, playing the orchestral section of Titania's entrance with the Fairies. The dance, for Hannah, is simple, and while there is the distinct absence of the ensemble dancers meant to go along with this, she performs for Thea as though they really were all in the room with her, little fairies flitting about their queen. And, when the section is over, Hannah stoops by the sound system again, and sets the room back into silence.

"Was it any good?" She questions, hopeful. Still always looking for external approval.

"So you did decide on a production? Glad to hear it. Are you using Ashton's original choreography or will you be doing your own?"

While she is a law woman first and foremost, Thea does consider herself a... appreciator of the arts. Hence her involvement with Hannah's studio.

She tilts her almost like a parent to a child. "Now, Hannah, when have I ever turned down watching you work?"

She gestures toward the studio.

[theuglyducklinggc]

Clearly, there's something else to all this that he's not telling her. But, luckily, it seems that Hannah has missed all that, in favor of her own embarrassment. To call the other ballerinas stuck-up is... well, it's not entirely inaccurate. It's almost a relief, really, that a member of the audience had seen it. The ballet world, though pretty, was often ruthless, and the girls were nothing less than just that. Ruthless and vain, but no less hardworking.

A bit of her anxiety seems to subside at the supporting smile, and she smiles back in kind. Although, it seems like its his turn to be embarrassed now. She'll take it.

"I'm glad that that came across." She's a bit more animated now, and less shy, now that she's talking about something she's passionate about, "A dance is meant to move the audience emotionally, and that was always what I aimed for when I was on stage. And that's something that seems missing from a lot of performances, now. It places technical skill over a true expression of what the piece is trying to convey. The ideal is to have a perfect blend of both, but personally, I think putting the emotion of a dance first and finding the core of it makes for a more truthful experience."

The lack of embarrassment on her end is short-lived. "Oh, I'm sorry, I must be talking your ear off about this stuff."

Besides the fact that going to the ballet were the only times in that 5 year span Adam didn't absolutely loathe himself and wanted to die?

Well, he can't just say that to a complete stranger. Not that she gives him a chance to, thank god.

He tries to offer her a supporting smile.

"It's alright. I think I could tell those others were stuck up. They felt more like they were deigning to let the audience watch them while you felt more like you were inviting us to watch."

He looks away, embarrassed he'd said that. Was it actually better than admitting the other stuff?

[theuglyducklinggc]

Elinor has a habit of leaving Hannah at a loss for words. It's hard to conceptualize exactly what to say in response to her, or even if there was anything to be said that wouldn't immediately have her ceding ground to the girl in front of her. On the whole, she agrees with Elinor's sentiment, that no one should be kept out of dance for any silly reason like age or other unchangeable aspect of the self. But a tiny part of her can't help but think, privately, that the whole point of an art was to be beautiful, and if you aren't beautiful, no matter how skilled and flexible your dance or graceful your port de bras, the pinnacle of the art was forever out of reach. The point of ballet, was beauty.

And while Elinor is very kind to insist the opposite, Hannah knows that she is not beautiful.

But she smiles anyways, sheepish and awkward, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "You're right, I wouldn't say that. I'll see about submitting a thing or two. Maybe I'll get some inspiration, some time."

Elinor wasn't completely unaware of Hannah's... well, caution around the subject. They'd only meant to be as encouraging as possible - it was the summer after all! It was the perfect time to dive into new projects without worrying about the obligations of the fall.

"The casting system is still so racist and prejudiced. A woman being 30 - they act like it's the end of the world," There were some parts of theater and dance elitism that Elinor would never understand, but that was exactly the reason why they felt so strongly they needed to fight for what was right. No one should feel excluded from the arts on the basis of their skin, identity, or appearance.

"You're positively beautiful, Hannah. And even if you weren't, that's no reason why someone shouldn't love your talent. Would you ever tell one of your students they were too ugly to be a ballerina? Even a background dancer?"

[theuglyducklinggc]

Hannah is a little bit like a deer caught in the headlights at the question. She had hoped that Elinor wouldn't notice her attempt at dodging any discussion about herself, but she should have known better by now that this girl was too emotionally intelligent to be fooled by something like that. She bites her lip and looks off to the side, shifting slightly in her seat.

"No, I haven't submitted anything." She shakes her head, trying to keep a straight face, she doesn't want to make Elinor think that she's made her upset. This just... happens to be a delicate matter for her. "I'm not pretty enough for all that. And I'm too old. I'm just not prima ballerina material."

Elinor nodded along as Hannah detailed all the plans for the ballet studio this summer, though noted that that wasn't really what they'd asked about. It was a little interesting how someone so talented like Hannah wasn't ever auditioning to be in a show herself, only putting on shows for her juniors. Of course, they knew from experience that teaching could be it's own reward, but it also wasn't exactly what Hannah had always talked about doing in her career either.

"Oh I love those old fairytale shows, I think your kids will really have fun with that!" Elinor warmed their hands on their coffee while making a mental note to buy tickets as soon as they were open for the public, "But I meant like, have you submitted a tape for anything? Surely the city programme is doing some shows!" They weren't too far from New York either... It wasn't unreasonable to think Hannah could got there for a season to be in something big.

[theuglyducklinggc]

When Thea glances through the door, so does Hannah, following her gaze to the mirrored dance room she'd emerged from. The recording she was using to practice is still softly playing, echoing off the polished floors.

"Oh, I was just practicing Titania's dance for the production of Midsummer Night's Dream we'll be doing. I wanted to make sure that the variations we're doing would be comfortable for who'll be playing them." She explains, waving a hand.

"I'm not sure if it'll be that interesting to see, considering it's just me in my training outfit, but I could demonstrate it, if you'd like to see that."

Thea laughs quietly and shakes her head.

"I appreciate the offer, but it’s a little late for coffee for me. But I'm glad to hear things are going well enough for that."

She glances through the door to the studio with a curious tilt to her head.

"Did I interrupt some personal time? Or were you working on something? I'd love to see what you're working on."

[theuglyducklinggc]

This only seems to perplex her even further. And she knows what this is probably looking like: that she can't believe the Adam Bete likes ballet. But that's not it at all! What she really can't believe is-

"Why in the world would anyone come to a performance to see me, of all people?"

She realizes instantly that she's made yet another mistake in what she's said and tries to laugh it off. "I mean, there were actually pretty prima ballerinas that stood out much more. I'm just startled someone remembered me at all! Not that I'm ungrateful or anything. I am! Grateful, I mean!"

She sighs, and presses both hands to her face, muttering to herself. "I really just need to learn when to stop talking."

Adam just sighs, used to similar conversations considering who he is and how he looks.

"I know because there was a time I was at one of your performances every week."

One of the few things he distinctly remembers from an otherwise fog of a period.

[theuglyducklinggc]

If the upper hand is what Thea wants, with Hannah, it's always what she gets. Hannah is never sure when to expect a visit, and as a result, it certainly keeps her on her toes in more ways than just being en pointe. She knows that everything is in order, but that doesn't stop her from being anxious that she's somehow missed something.

She smiles an awkward flutter of a smile, and nods, "You're right, it's good to see you."

She gestures around the lobby, "Is there anything you want before I show you the books? Uhm, we got a coffee machine since the last time you came." Granted, it's not very good coffee, but its something for parents who choose to wait to sip on while class is in session. And for the few adult classes to wake up with.

Thea stands in the front lobby, taking in the now familiar studio. She doesn't stop by often, but she feels it's a duty to do so once in a while, make sure everything is still in order.

She smiles when Hannah steps out.

"Well, how can it be a pleasant surprise, without the surprise part?"

It's also an old habit drilled into her from law school, ensuring Thea always has the upper hand in any social and especially legal situation.

[theuglyducklinggc]

She blinks owlishly up at him for a few moments, still trying to reconcile what is happening currently with reality. For one, this was clearly Adam Bete, she'd be a fool not to know who this is. And for two, he somehow remembered who she was. Which was... something. She's a little stunned, she doesn't know how to approach this. She doesn't remember ever even seeing him.

"How in the world do you know?" She mutters, genuinely perplexed.

"I mean," She immediately fumbles for a cover that sounds even slightly less rude, "It's nice to know you. Meet you, that is." Oh, what a historic fumble of an interaction. She visibly winces at herself.

Adam scowls to himself, searching his memory for the name.

"Fowl, Fowl... oh Fowl! The ballerina?"

He snaps his fingers, fairly certain that's it but he can't guarantee it considering those memories are from a low time in his life.

[theuglyducklinggc]

Hannah feels as though a little healthy commiseration is what truly makes a friendship tick. Not that she’s had many friends in the past, of course, but when it comes to Elinor it rings true. The girl spends most of her life bending to others demands, and then bottling all that up. So hearing Elinor complain about her situation is more than welcome in Hannah’s book. If her friend just felt like ranting at her for a good couple hours, Hannah would find that just as well as moving on. 

“Well, I’m glad you won’t have to camp out for three hours anymore, at least not until summer is over. Small miracles.” She laughs lightly as she says it, and at the question regarding her studio, she can’t help but smile, soft and affectionate. “The studio is going great. I think I’m really starting to hit my stride accounting wise. It was such a headache to get the books balanced when I started, but now it’s not so bad. We’re auditioning for Midsummer Night’s Dream right now, that’ll be the big summer show, I think. But the end of the Summer Intensive will have its own show. I won’t give any spoilers on that, the students want to show off what they’ve been working on. It’s mostly for the benefit of the parents to feel like paying for a summer intensive class was worth it, but it’ll be open to the public as well.”

It was a relief that Hannah knew exactly what Elinor was talking about - every year, it felt like more responsibilities were heaved onto teacher's shoulder. Even someone who could basically choose her class hours like Hannah could get overwhelmed, "That's what I'm saying! A couple weeks ago, I had to stay 3 hours late with a student in the office because they missed the buses and their parents couldn't pick up until 6:30!"

Elinor took a deep breath. Although misery did love company, they didn't want to just turn this isn't a complain-fest the first time the friends had gotten a free moment together in weeks, "Let's talk summer, how is the studio doing? Are you auditioning for anything fun?"

[theuglyducklinggc]

It's late in the evening when Hannah hears the bell hung over the door to her studio ring. It's not dark just yet, it being summer and all, with the days long and the sun heavy in the sky. But it is later.

She'd been closing up shop. All private lessons and bigger classes have long since cleared out, leaving Hannah alone in the studio. She usually reserves this time for her own training, refining and polishing her skills. She doesn't want to ever lose this. But it seems, this time, she has a visitor.

She angles her head to the side, peering through the hallway from the main dance room to the front lobby. Once she sees who it is, she immediately rushes out to the lobby to greet them properly.

"Ms. Pallas." She starts, Thea was always at least a little intimidating, but she had helped her, and that counts for something, "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you."

@grey-eyed-thea

[theuglyducklinggc]

Hannah spends a decent chunk of her time just sitting at this one particular bench in the park, feeding the birds. She doesn't know why she feels compelled to do it. They're always hungry, though, and watching them fight one another for bird food is amusing enough. She doesn't often get approached, so this whole interaction has her starting off on the back foot. She was expecting some kind of company, yes, this is a public park after all. But she wasn't expecting company that was actually trying to talk to her.

"Know me?"

She gives him a sidelong glance of sheer and utter confusion. Sure, she was in some big performances in her 20s, but the only solo act she ever did was a rendition of the Dying Swan. She doubts anybody is going to remember one little solo.

"Hannah Fowl...?" She answers, because there's no real reason not to. Not yet, anyways. Surely this is just a case of mistaken identity, or another cruel joke in a long line of cruel jokes.

where: park | when: afternoon | whom: Hannah @theuglyducklinggc

Adam is taking a run in the park, needing to blow off steam after a heated call. He's been working on not just exploding at work but he definitely can't just push through it all like some people clearly do. So he runs.

He runs a lot.

He comes to a stop to catch his breath, finally starting to feel calmer. He takes a minute to stretch and look around. He furrows his brows at someone sitting at a bench nearby. Something about her looks familiar but he can't really place why.

He walks up.

"I'm sorry, but I feel like I know you," he says. "Would you mind telling me your name?"

[theuglyducklinggc]

"It's alright, you know I don't mind." Hannah, for her part, had been expecting as much. Not to Elinor's discredit of course, she knows how hard the girl tries, but something always comes up. Or, rather, someone always takes advantage. But those aren't the kinds of things one says to a friend. What Elinor needs, and what Hannah needs herself at this moment, is to simply not think about the rest of it all for just a little while. Once it all feels just a little less oppressive, then they can talk about it if they want to, that is.

"You're telling me. With summer vacation here, I think some parents think of a ballet course more like a daycare. Feels like everyone but me and you can afford to be lazy." She leans back in her seat, her arms crossed, and her tone of voice light.

Returning to Godscobh after college wasn't so much a choice as it was an obligation, as Elinor was easily guilted into taking take of their father as he got older. The thing that made the days easier was having friends in town, especially when things just got so suffocating back at the house. Frankly, Elinor couldn't even complain - so many kids in town grew up without parents at all, so they should just be grateful to still have a dad.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to drive my dad to his study group," Elinor sat down in a tizzy, their bags slumping off their shoulders. With a sigh, they tried to put on a happier face - Hannah didn't need to be weighed down by all that, "It's always work-work-work, huh? Even when the semester ends, no rest for the weary."

@theuglyducklinggc