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me, when literally anything happens: maybe it’s a sign
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being into disco is cool bc any disco song you like there’s guaranteed a 20 minute extended version of out there and you can pop a percocet lay on a fur rug and forget you’re alive while donna hits the ninth chorus refrain
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me after one glass of wine: everything i say and do is iconic
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dog: (somewhere in the house) *tap tap tap tap*
me: *calls its name*
dog: *TAPATAPATAPATAPATAPATAP*
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gay culture is helping clean up the dinner table after fam dinner with your mom & aunts while all your uncles sit around on their asses doing absolutely nothing
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me: huh damn i’m bored
the 2% of my brain that isn’t actively sabotaging me: do your assignments. read a book. take a fucking shower
me:
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my only talent is appearing calm and emotionless when in reality i am on the brink of death
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me: alright, i've got a few hours to myself. should i read, write, draw, play some video games...
executive dysfunction: you're going to scroll through tumblr until you have to go to sleep
executive dysfunction: you're not even going to like it.
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working in retail
me: hey
customer: i wish you would just fucking DIE
me: okay let me know if you have any questions !
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me: *is bored for 0.5 seconds*
me: i wanna learn how to work wood. i need to build a boat
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me usually: the consumerist society we live in is unsustainable
me whenever i have slightly more money than usual:

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