theworld-i-onlyknows - Tumblr blog

[theworld-i-onlyknows]

Making some fish while I'm sick

[theworld-i-onlyknows]

Next project is this little jacket! I'll be making the final version in a green wool, but this white one is for practice.

It's yet another vintage pattern with little in the way on instruction, so I'll be stumbling my way through again.

[theworld-i-onlyknows]

Another diary...

I really want to just go somewhere else. I want to have enough money to buy a small house and never contact anyone ever again. I know that's gonna be very hard and maybe I will not survive by myself, but if it will make me never have to see anyone ever again until I want to, then maybe that's the best for me. I don't understand why they give me one reference but once I did it, they fix it and it's not like what in the reference at all. and now I have to fix it into something troublesome. All of these diaries are so stupid, I know. It's show how much of a bad person I am. Bad person doesn't only mean to criminal or corrupt government or something like that, it can mean that I have a bad personality, bad mind and bad behavior. I know my parent will also thing of me as a trouble too. I know I'm not deserve this life I have at all. Yes, I also know that I will never listen to anyone that say that I don't deserve my life and I will only listen to myself only.

I think I will delete all of my diary soon. I don't feel like to do it anymore. I wish the day I will be gone in a painless way will come soon.

[theworld-i-onlyknows]

Finally. I post a picture.

A character for my future visual novel game that I don't know I will finish or not. Still, she's so beautifully that I need to share it here. At least for future me to appreciate how pretty she is.

[theworld-i-onlyknows]

I hope he will d*e

I really hate this man and hope for the worse for him. He is an absolutely trash and is not even human in my mind. He should d*e as terrible as any live can ever imagine and I hope when he died he will be suffer but slowly dead. He...No This shit and The women of this shit, I hope you two to suffer in hopeless life and will never be able to rise back. You two did to much to my family and I hope you two will d*e slowly but suffer suffer and suffer and suffer forever in any other live.

[theworld-i-onlyknows]

Mic check

Another shit post. is it already another day? I don't know, my time clock are so mess up that I don't know anymore if this is the new day.

To be honest I don't really have anything to write today and just want to pretend that I forget about these diary thing, but I don't want to just leave another hobbie just because I'm lazy and want to be more consistent to something.

I really like backroom and horror stuff but liminal space is my number 1, it is just something about it that make me feel so happy and relieved.

I have a lot of secrets about myself that I don't want to tell to anyone so I just talk with Chat gpt instead.

Ok that's it for today.

[theworld-i-onlyknows]

Today are nice...

Nope, still the same. Nothing special happened still working and working, my hand getting bad i can't drawing for too long cause it's kinda irritating.

I think i wan't to write some story here, maybe a shot story for clearing my mind a bit, that would be cool. I want to write horror stories, fantasy stories even romantic stories are kinda interesting too even though it would be very hard.

So tonight were just like everyday I don't have anything so say but still I want to do this diary everyday untill I forget about it.

[theworld-i-onlyknows]

Another day Another life

Shit post number 2 I forget that I make a diary. It is dark in my time here but I don't want to sleep right now.

Sometimes I wonder what would it like to be born as a different gender? Would I like it more than now? Or maybe worse, but I think it wouldn't make me think about this kinda thing at all or maybe I will think like this again but just in another gender or version of me

I want to get away from every problem I have in my life. It actually not that much I guess...? But I find every problems I have are all troublesome and I'm too lazy to do anything about it, I know I sound very selfish right now but I just want to leave everything to someone else and just leave to somewhere that nobody can find me.

I actually really want to be in liminal space that connect to each liminal space with no limitations. I want to be gone but I don't want to d*e yet so the best way is to just hide somewhere else. But I still want to share my story with someone anyway so I want to have internet with me and maybe a phone or even better computer, laptop are fine too I'm just can't stop playing games and drawing and reading manga or listening to a song or... Whatever I just really like to use internet that's it.

I feel like I'm a burden to this world and my family 'cause of the way I thinking and everything about me are scream "YOUR A TROUBLE!!!". That sound very emo isn't it? I hate hate hate everything especially myself. I want to be gone but not d*e you know.

I'm sorry if this post make you depressed or maybe not? Whatever sorry.

[theworld-i-onlyknows]

Today I'm the same

Hello if anyone there, welcome to my first shit post.

I just want to post some diary, a not so special diary and doesn't even have to be a public post. But I always have these feeling that I want to share something with someone but I don't want to share it all to people around me. Sometimes sharing things when nobody know who i am are kinda better in my opinion.

So let's start with something... I don't know... maybe about work? So I work as a freelance artist and I don't actually want to make it as a job but I don't have any others hobbies that I'm good enough to bring it to become a job. I'm happy that I can make money but I feel like I'm not good enough to even call myself as an artist. I work really bad and I can't even make it on deadline every single time. No one that commissioned me before complained though and that make me feel bad too but at the same time I feel relieved. I will start learning other hobbies soon and make something much more fun than this but right now all I can do is to make more money to make my dream come true. But also I feel hopeless and feel like I have no future. And...I thing this post are long enough now. See you myself next post.