theworstpuns

[theworstpuns]

Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters? A: They're always dribbling.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/basketballjokes.html

[theworstpuns]

Harry Potter

Do you think Hermione would burn a book? I know Oliver wood but Hermione wouldn't.

[theworstpuns]

A man asks a woman out for a date. Of course, the woman says yes. Naturally, the man goes to rent a limo. There was a long line. The man then went to rent a tuxedo. There was, once again, a long line. During the night of their date, the woman. Wanted some fruit punch. The man got up to help her get some. There was no punch line.

[theworstpuns]

A Pun

I was selling some bicycles the other day, but I got in trouble with a police officer. He told me to stop pedaling my wares. :)

[theworstpuns]

Expensive too. Even getting your tires aired up costs a pretty penny nowadays. Damn inflation!

Biker

Riding a bike is nice, butt it hurts.

[theworstpuns]

Right? Don’t even get me started on Moscow.

There is a lot of bullshit in bovine politics.

[theworstpuns]

dwayne johnson, paper, scissors

[theworstpuns]

FIRE AT WILL!

Sergeant William “Will” Jones - August 30th 1943 Born: January 27th 1918 Died: August 30th 1943

[theworstpuns]

My optometrist is a real visionary. It's a shame he fell in the lensgrinder and made a spectacle of himself.

[theworstpuns]

I dont get the hype around fresh ground coffee. Tried making some and it just tastes like mud to me.

[theworstpuns]

What’s the best way to serve a stack of pancakes? Syruptitiously.

[theworstpuns]

What day of the year is a soldier's favorite day? March 4th.

[theworstpuns]

There is a lot of bullshit in bovine politics.

[theworstpuns]

Biker

Riding a bike is nice, butt it hurts.

[theworstpuns]

Pickup

Q. Is your Dad a jeweller? A. Because I think you're pearlfect.

[theworstpuns]

Dump

Q. How did a prince ask out a princess? A. Your palace or mine

[theworstpuns]

I’m safe

Most of you will have heard about the troubles in Brussels by now. A lot of you know I’m Belgian. I’m ok. I live about an hour away from Brussels. So for those worried and sending me PM’s, I’m ok. Thanks for your concern.

As for my thoughts on the matter: my country was attacked. I’m irrate. Saddened. But I refuse to be afraid. I refuse to give them what they want. If you need to kill people to get your point across you’re wrong. You’re sick, vile and you definitely do not deserve the heaven they promise you. It’s a sad day today. The coming weeks will be tense. But I won’t be afraid.

-DJ