theycallmezeus - Tumblr blog

[theycallmezeus]

   Honestly-- yes, he was waiting for it. Waiting for Alex to just-- end it.        End everything. 

  Of course, he didn't expect this. 

     "You said you would kill me." 

   He bites his lip. 

        "So, is it that you're not going to do--" 

   A raised brow.

   "Or the hug?" 

                In reality, he seemed more hurt that the other wouldn't at least give him a hug.

  "I’m not doing this."

Giving up a part of ‘him’ just to become something else for someone else.

Going through hell and back again. 

A goddamn hug is all it takes -

He realizes when it’s too damn late. When he’s already moving on, away.

Shouldn’t even be capable of hesitation either - only when faced with things actually so seemingly far out of his fucking control. Yet, here he suddenly goes still. Stops. Stands witha whole new meaning of beside himself by all means; some kind of near completely unresponsive.

Everything else has been long since taken away, not this too. 

[theycallmezeus]

  He stared-        Just... stared for a few moments, surprised- no.. shocked at his reaction and words. He had thought, since they first met, he only annoyed him-- that Alex.. the one friend he had, hated him.      Was that not the case..? 

  "Alex-- What--"       Zeus wasn't sure what to say to him, and instead.. He simply stared, as if he was a child. 

      "I thought-- you hated me?"

  If he really ‘breathed’, pretty sure it..found a way to stop just then. Relocated. ‘Somewhere.’ Somewhere could be anywhere. Means he’d have to go looking everywhere. They.. did this. They always do this. They’re coming up with - finding new ways and still doing it.Taking all of it - e v e r y t h i n g - away. Away from him.

Again. 

Being ‘free’ of someone he’s actually grown fond of if even partially? There’s more to this - so much more - he knows.

'Freedom' means many things; but not something like this.

That’s.. not what he fucking wanted.

If Blackwatch even thinks they made things ‘difficult’ now - well, they’ve got no idea what Mercer’s already coming up with.

 No. No… No.

"Like hell - I won’t let you go.”

[theycallmezeus]

  "Look--"

    "I'm-- .... I'm being relocated. Somewhere. I don't know where, but- I won't be able to see you again. At least.. not for a while." 

  He glanced to the side, it was difficult.. so difficult to get that out in the open. 

         "You'll be.. free of me."

  "What. … what the hell do you want from me, huh…?”

There’s nothing to humor when this wasn’t made to fucking humor.

It.. still hurts. Damn it. Sorry? Is that it? Not even - no. A thousand apologies couldn’t hope to undo what he’s already done. Not sorry yet.

There’s no going back. He did what he did. .. and now it’s just another thing to live with.

[theycallmezeus]

      "Alex.." 

          Come on, Alex.           At least humor the poor guy.

  … F - u - c - k.

Should have known. Should have known this was coming.

" .. … … "

[theycallmezeus]

     "..Alex.. we need to talk."

[theycallmezeus]

   "How am I making it any harder--?" 

          He bit his lip, letting out a sigh.       He was ready for death; in fact, he welcomed it.          But..                 He didn't want to die--

    He wanted to stay here.            With Alex. 

"At least- let me get one last hug?" 

  Just the same as he could kill him here, now.

All for being honest. It’s always the truth. Where there’s one revelation there’s always gonna be another.

Fuck, he’s so tired of this. It hurts, it hurts. It HURTS.

..and he doesn’t mean it. Doesn’t fucking mean it, but this is the only way. The only goddamn way when he’s already back turned and everything is defensively shifting —

"Then don’t let me make this any harder than it has to be.”

[theycallmezeus]

  Hesitation-- 

     "...If you do--" 

          He bit his lip. He wasn't sure what to say.     "There won't be any hard feelings." 

           Smooth as fuck. 

                Giving an aggravated sigh, he just kinda-- hit himself on the head. 

  "It’s the truth, isn’t it..? I’ll kill you; I’ll kill everyone.”

Don’t just stand there and call him an idiot; Jesus fucking CHRIST; answer. Give him some kind of goddamn answer.

Because right now - he needs to know.

[theycallmezeus]

 Killing him?

       "What the hell are you even talking about."

   "Stop being an idiot, Alex."         

  …. — No.

That hand gets shoved off - the hell away before it can make any further contact.

"…don’t, because I’ll just end up killing you too, right?!”

[theycallmezeus]

       "Alex?" 

   Gingerly touches his shoulder. 

           "Ale----"

[theycallmezeus]

   The voice--         It was familiar, yet he knew - how he did was certainly unknown - but he knew it was someone else.      It was another him.

  For a moment, he simply stared. Thankfully, the crowd has slowly died away, and -hopefully- so did those who were 'watching' him.       After all, he wouldn't attack someone-- even if it was him-- without reason. 

         And Blackwatch was not a reason.

   "Hn.." Was his first reply-- a lazy, tired groan. "I don't care, really."    

       Rubbing the back of his head, he suppressed a yawn. Despite being inhuman, he could-- rarely-- get the feeling of being 'tired'.     Well, at least this form of tiredness. The other ones were... different stories.

  Several, near silent throaty clicks escaped the virus, hands pressed onto the concrete roof, biomass shifting. Red eyes gleamed under the mimicry of a hood, pupils locked on the moving target    It felt like a hunt. 

But it wasn’t here for a hunt. Instead, curiosity was in what would of been bloodlust’s place- the urge to infect, the place where it would kill just to smell blood. Which… it subconsciously knew was the reason it was no longer hunted- the Infection which it would of died to protect, killed off. Not even getting up to try and protect it. It knew subconsciously why it didn’t bother to.

It’s reason was gone, and now… It was docile again.

Clicking again, moving to follow the target, biomass shifting and changing his weight constantly to keep what would of been loud- almost.. nearly dead silent.

It’s head cocked to the side, moving to slide off of the roof top, landing into the dark alley way, making it’s way towards the target, biomass shifting- instinctively wanting to defend territory. Instincts which were shoved down roughly, crimson eyes glowing.

It knew what to do. It was better to not attack without reason… 

"You really suck at looking up, you know."

[theycallmezeus]

              [ZEUS FOUND A WOLF HAT] 

       [SOMEONE THREW AWAY A WOLF HAT]

                             [MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS ZEUS]

     [HE'S GOING TO WALK AROUND LIKE A SMUG FUCKER WEARING IT]

[theycallmezeus]

     "You don't think I already know that?" He growled back, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "They treat me worse than dirt over there-- and I'd leave- fuck, I'd leave faster than a fly- but where exactly would I go?"

             Brain washed or not, at least he had enough sense to know that even the people he worked for were horrible.     The other soldiers were more 'brainwashed' than him.

   "I don't even know who the fuck I exactly am. If I had a place to go I'd leave in a fucking heartbeat." The scar on his back said other wise-- it knew, all too well, what happened the last time he tried to leave.        Oh, how wonderful that had gone.        How wonderful it was when they injected him with that-- whatever it was into him so he wouldn't heal.       A parasite, was it? 

  "You’re fucking delusional. Following orders from them? What side of the apple tree did you fall from? Because thats the weirdest response I’ve ever got from a virus.” He held in his laugher, because it would’ve came out pained anyway, this one was really brainwashed.

And pretty far into it.

"Yeah? How well do they treat you on the other side? You’ll find out they don’t give a shit about you. And fairly quick."

[theycallmezeus]

    Dead--         Is he exactly living in the first place?    Maybe death was better suited for him. 

           Then again, if he was actually 'dead' he wouldn't be here, laughing at how pissed off Alex was. 

    Totally worth it. 

         "Sure, sure is isn't--"     Holding in laughter?       How does one do that when Alex of all people is fuming right there? 

             They don't. That's how.

      A smile?             Yep.     A cocky smile, but really, a smile nonetheless. 

           Oh, how weird it felt to actually fucking smile.

  He never asked for this.

These feelings, these ‘emotions.’ Like everything else that became a part of him - undeniable - they just… are. Just another part. Just another thing.

Just there. Just him.

…whatever the hell he really is. Virus, bioweapon, plague, taint, all of it, everything. Even if he’s meant to be Alex - not ‘ZEUS.’ Alex - not monster or terrorist. .. damn it. He’s not even sure about this. Comfort, because the moment he might find himself giving in, displaying vulnerability.

He’s so fucking weak right now; but that doesn’t matter.

Even though he doesn’t have the heart - really - to tell ‘himself’ he’s not Alex, just… something shaped from the man right down to his DNA-

Date? Oh yeah, you’re dead. Just don’t know it yet.

Sure as hell exhibits the sudden capability of toppling them both over. He goes down, you’re going with him.

Fight about it.

"That’s not what this is!"

[theycallmezeus]

   Just kinda.. stares at  all the damn bullets.        When did they get there? 

  He didn't need to ask. He knew who did it-- it was pretty obvious, right?        Fucking Blackwatch.

   It was always them who hurt people-- the people they were trying to protect. They did a great fucking job, didn't they?

            Even better at their job when it came to taking care of their pet.

    "I'm going to kill them--"

  — Really.

Thought maybe the little scatterpile of bullets he just spent the last half a fucking hour picking out of his already half numbed to hell shoulder might have given it away.

Guess he thought wrong, shit. Fucking sedatives. Enough to put a whole line of infected out for hours, days… weeks. The pain isn’t much; but sometimes he wishes it could be enough to put him out —

Hell knows it should be.

"Merry Christmas, that’s what they call this, right~?”

[theycallmezeus]

   "Tell me."

  "… nothing."

[theycallmezeus]

      What----

— Ugh.

[theycallmezeus]

"It would’ve been quick. But now…now I’m gonna make you suffer."