theydespise

[theydespise]

⸻ ❝ [ . . . ] to front only the essential facts of life, and see if i could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when i came to die, discover that i had not lived. i did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did i wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. i wanted to live deep & suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily & spartan - like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms . . .

[theydespise]

hi all, i haven’t given up here, i just have more muse for @draeven at the moment so you can find me there!

[theydespise]

i have -1 energy today y'all, one barely coherent reply may be all i can squeeze from my brain for now.

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⸻ his father has spent so much of his time in laboratory walls , he’s begun to take those very same cold , secretive walls & put them up in their home . in the beginning , they were thin enough to at least hold clear conversations through . nowadays he’s lucky if he’s able to hear someone who might even resemble the man . “ where are you going ? ” the voice had asked — out of obligation rather than concern . “ why do you care ? ” he’d shot back .

patrick parked his bulky , lurid mint green jeep blocks from forbidden shell of a facility & creeps his way past rusted fences armed with determination & his blade . to snoop around in a place like this without so much as a notion of what exactly he's looking for is far from his grandest idea . & his excuse ? hands - on research for a school paper . humanoid shadow grabs tight to his focus & drops rocks in his stomach . licking dried lips , blade appears from its hilt , stalks strange silhouette . whoever -- whatever he'd been expecting to find , kat stratford hadn't been among the possibilities .

fear on his face is replaced with bewilderment while quickly pocketing his switchblade . christ , he'd very nearly brought some truth to those murderer rumors . ❝ fancy fuckin' meeting you here -- ❞

  a    fortress    forbidden    since    childhood  .          the    desire    to    venture    beyond    its    gates    null                        until    now  .          bianca’s    words    linger    in    the    back    of    her    mind    :      it’s    foolish      ,        moronic      .    .    .      denial    of    fact  .          she    can’t    shake    the    feeling    it’s    more    than    mere    accident    that    kept    their    mother    from    returning    home    that    night.          𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙸𝙰𝙻      ,        grief’s    first    stage.          yet    what    she    knows    as    this  :    there’s    no    rest    to    be    found    without    closure  .

                kept    to    the    shadows      ,        following    sign    after    sign    conspicuously    marking    what’s    OFF    LIMITS  .          could    they    be    less    blatant  ?          then    again      ,        the    sensation’s    there                          somewhere    eyes    watch  .          her    story’s    cemented      ,        should    she    find    herself    caught.          a    daughter    grieving      ,        desperate    to    learn    if    anything’d    been    left    behind.          focus    caught      ,        the    hall    seems    to    grow    darker    with    fluorescents    that    flicker.          nearing    in    on    its    corner    where    scratches      ,        where    dents    find    the    wall    speckled    in    dried    crimson    thus    far    unscathed.

                              @theydespise​​                                   plotted .

[theydespise]

i’ll try my darndest to write at least one thing here today. i’ve been very tired these past few days but i do want to keep up with replies & interactions.

[theydespise]

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU + letterboxd reviews inspo. (x)(x)(x)

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patrick getting actually offended at “kat likes pretty guys” is so fucking funny to me

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have a more official canon dialogue starter call.

[theydespise]

beep beep how’s my portrayal ?

[theydespise]

one of my favorite things will always be patrick's "dude, really?" face

[theydespise]

𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒

fluffy cuteness for all your fluffy cuteness needs.  Feel free to adjust as needed ! ♡

❛ I wanted to let you sleep for a little longer. ❜ ❛ Hey, how’s my beautiful baby? ❜ ❛ Did you drink enough water today? ❜ ❛ Please? just one more kiss! ❜ ❛ Let me take care of you today. ❜ ❛ I wanted to let you know that I’m proud of you. ❜ ❛ You got me, okay? and I’m not going anywhere. ❜ ❛ Those puppy eyes won’t win this time! they won’t… ugh, fine… ❜ ❛ Hey… are you crying? come here… ❜ ❛ Well, you’re MY loser, how about that? ❜ ❛ If you throw that pillow at me, it means war. ❜ ❛ Shh, go back to sleep… ❜ ❛ You’re really clingy when you’re asleep. ❜ ❛ Can I have a hug? ❜ ❛ Talk to me, or don’t, just let me hold you. ❜ ❛ Honey, just breathe… ❜ ❛ I can help you with your homework, if you want. ❜ ❛ Hey, did you eat anything today? ❜ ❛ Blanket thieves get pillows thrown in their faces. ❜ ❛ I was hoping I’d see you there… ❜ ❛ You can sleep here. ❜ ❛ I heard you crying last night… are you okay? ❜ ❛ Stop trying to act all cool, I know you like hugs. ❜ ❛ Do you wanna watch cartoons and cuddle? ❜

[theydespise]

Beautiful Boy (2018) dir. Felix Van Groeningen

[theydespise]

𝑨 𝑷𝑰𝑪𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑬 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑭𝑬𝑪𝑻 𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑳𝒀𝑾𝑶𝑶𝑫 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑩𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑲.                     THIS   IS   PART   TWO.   PART    ONE    IS    HERE.     feel free to change pronouns or do whatever! these are sentences from zach callison’s concept album “a picture perfect hollywood heartbreak”. tw for violence, mental illness, drugs, gore, etc. feel free to reblog!

06.) interlude ii ( second thoughts ).

“the truth is the kid’s medicine made him sin.” “we put his record on until he’s bleeding on the needle.” “cut down on his curtain call.” “take aim with these hands he once possessed.” “a dozen roses on the pavement laid the rest.” “will i feel some remorse?” “no, pull the trigger.” “his brain has a sickness, so kill it at the source.”

07.) curtain call.

“springtime, and i still haven’t left you behind.” “i find that i’m anything but fine.” “no, i’m okay.” “please, just look away.” “please don’t say that i begged you to stay.” “truth just hurts too much.” “bourbon to kill my pain.” “curtains to hold my shame.” “they can’t look away: cannot contain my rage.” “limbo has been awaiting my stay.” “please, dear god: just give me some price to pay.” “oh please god, just make it all go away.” “(GUNSHOT)” “they know a concrete grave cannot contain my rage.” “so take my hand, hold my shame.”

08.) interlude iv ( showtime ).

“we’re finally free. welcome home.” “it’s just you and me now, standing alone.” “the world is ours.” “get in the car.” “this isn’t finished.” “even though the kid’s dead, i’m still seeing red.” “i’m just a shell of his form, that his innocence shed.” “he lived a good life and he gave it to you.” “look at him, showered in blood and flowers.” “now, look in my eyes. she still holds the power.” “after years and tears and confronting his fears: he’s dead on his record for the world to hear.” “they’ll all think it was suicide. but i know it was you inside.” “i saved him! i held him ‘til the moment he died.” “you choked him out of his own god damn mind!” “you promised the world to him, a god damn lie!” “what do you want from me?” “look outside yourself.” “i won’t help you take her down.” “…fine. i’ll do it by myself.” “she’s been gone for years, i know you can beat it.” “look in the mirror, you know we both fear her.” “we’re one in the same, we’re afraid to be near her.” “you won’t let me kill him. you’re worse than ____!” “i told you to end it. it was all for the best.” “so i have you to blame for this pain in my chest?” “if you won’t go i will.” “you’re filling your heart up with hate, all the same as the kid that you left face down on the pavement.” “it’s time i made a statement.” “a pity the city has ruined us, we could’ve fooled hollywood: just the two of us.” “you’re lost.” “is this what love is really for? “is this all i get for being yours, the kid in front of me in blood and gore?” “show’s about to start. don’t be late.”

09.) war!

“that’s alright! that’s okay!” “a wise man once said ‘time is money’, so how much money did i lose to you, honey?” “i find it kinda funny, you wanna keep this feud running.” “i’m glad i’m on your mind, so keep that cannon fire coming.” “this is juvenile as skate night.” “you don’t know how to play nice.” “guns and bombs to keep us torn.” “leat your napalm will keep me warm.” “to your new boy, let him be warned: you’re her new toy for blood and gore.” “what? you didn’t know?” “so this is war!” “isn’t that what love is for?” “blood and gore is all i get for being yours.” “two heathens ruled by demons.” “i’ll be damned if i can’t finish what i start.” “oh, so you wanna go to war now?” “lusting for my heart and tear out some more now.” “these guns are loud like thunderclouds.” “i’m composing more music than you.” “expression as a weapon, i do choose to abuse it.” “talk about depression and chemical abuses, and nooses, feeling useless.” “hey, take this. you could use it.” “you’d probably break it, cry ‘bout how you’ll never make it.” “goodness gracious, we’ve been waiting on your album for ages. no traces, and baby they already ran outta patience.” “___, we’re still waiting.” “half your songs got thrown away like ballots on voting day.” “my ballads got more to say, like a bullet to a motorcade.” “sit down with me and sign this armistice.” “get your big proboscis out of my shit, miss.” “welcome to the new me.” “paint your nails back and unscrew me.” “but that’s okay! know my business is booming. live vicariously through me.” “we’re coming for you!”

[theydespise]

have i ever mentioned how much patrick hates that he hurt kat & made her cry & he never wants to do that again because-

[theydespise]

Dumb - Nirvana (In Utero, 1993)

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wanna know how punk i am??????

*punches a wall*

drive me to the hospital

[theydespise]

Him? No, don’t look at him.