thisbananasucks

[thisbananasucks]

Bitches wanna buy their boyfriends the latest consoles but when was the last time he CONSOLED you? ps 5 years ago

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[thisbananasucks]

Excuse me, what

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Horse GF that gives you the GOOD drugs

[thisbananasucks]

made a niche meme for @megan-mayhem in the groupchat but maybe some of my followers will also enjoy it (with apologies to matt bors)

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[thisbananasucks]

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

[thisbananasucks]

5 things your character can't do while speaking

Choke. Just think about it, seriously. Think about what choking is and imagine speaking while it’s happening. That would fuckin’ hurt, man.

Hiss. Look, it’s just not possible, okay? No matter how “evil” you want your character to seem.

Snarl. Animals snarls. The Beast from Beauty and the Beast snarls. The Hulk snarls. You know who doesn’t snarl? PEOPLE WHEN THEY’RE SPEAKING.

Shriek. Come on, 99% of the time, “shriek” is not the word you want.Let’s face it: if you put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence, your reader gets the picture. Don’t bring to mind banshees and screaming toddlers.

Sneer. I’m not even going to bother explaining this one. “SNEER” ISN’T EVEN A SOUND.

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Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. “I killed your friend, here hold him.”

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we can't have fucking anything

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:/

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I got the Grindr app mixed up with the Pizza Hut app

Either way, there’s a 10” vegetarian on the way and I’m not sure what to expect.

[thisbananasucks]

He has the entire garden to watch and instead just stares at the fence

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Oh hey btw, while “totem animal” and “spirit animal” are native american concepts far more complicated than simply looking at a creature and going “mood.”, there’s a finnish concept of sieluneläin, soul animal, a creature that is alike to you in soul (in the finnish pagan spirituality, one’s soul is actually three things, henki, luonto and itse/sielu, out of which the last one is what is distinctly you, personality and temperament). The term soul animal no longer has ritual or religious meaning, and it can’t really be appropriated. If you see a corgi laying down in a creek just fucking letting water run over her because she can’t bother to move and think “same”, that’s your soul animal, and you’re completely free to use the term unless you’re swedish.

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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

[thisbananasucks]