thompsonhouseblog

[thompsonhouseblog]

The Engagement

I did something yesterday that I know was stupid, but honestly it was so reactionary that while I could see it was wrong, I just couldn’t stop. Like a cornered animal, I just had to lash out! I recently learned that the ex-Hubs is engaged. Yup, apparently 4 days after our divorce was final he is engaged.

It isn’t as if I want him back, it isn’t that I care that much about what he is doing in his…

[thompsonhouseblog]

My Friend, My family

My Friend, My family

There is this guy that stole my heart. His smile could light up the room or infuriate you (if he was giving you hell, which he enjoyed giving to me!). He was not just my friend but became my family. His name is Patrick and this week he lost his battle with cancer. This is for him and for our whole family, blood or not, reeling with grief over the loss of our friend.

When I was 20 years old, I…

[thompsonhouseblog]

"It's Better to Have Loved and Lost" ???

“It’s Better to Have Loved and Lost” ???

We’ve all heard this phrase, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” What a crock of shit! I mean that phrase alone sets you up to feel pained, grief, and sorrow when a relationship ends. I think a much better phrase is, “It’s better to have loved and gained and let it go than to never have loved at all.”

I mean here is how I look at it now after 7 months removed. I…

[thompsonhouseblog]

Let's Flip the Script

Let’s Flip the Script

So, the last post I wrote was HEAVY! I mean I thought it was a little dark and that there was some evidence of hope at the end, but I got plenty on comments from my family that were really concerned. I will say that re-reading it, it is damn dark but I also know that after I wrote that stuff down and got it out of my brain, I instantly felt better. Sometimes you just need an outlet. It’s like the…

[thompsonhouseblog]

Numb

I have quite literally pulled up my blog to write a post 6 times. Each time my eyes meet the blank page, and I too go blank. I feel this total feeling of nothingness wash over me. I don’t know what to write about, I don’t want to feel these emotions that are rattling around inside me, and I don’t want to write more about being sad and bring down other people.

As I face this vast ocean of unknown,…

[thompsonhouseblog]

Some days on this new “journey” have been ok, other days have been miserable! I have cried myself to sleep and laughed until my tummy hurt; I have spent time with supportive friends and been isolated and alone with my thoughts; I have screamed angry expletives to any and all that would listen and written words of forgiveness in my journal.

I have been fully and completely immersed in the current chaos that is a life dissolving and felt the waves of hopelessness wash over me. Saying all this, however, I wake up every day with a grateful heart that I have another day to feel all of these emotions, to learn from the roller coaster that is life, and have the opportunity to see the promise of a better day ahead.

As a person that has been very verbal about my struggle with anxiety and depression, a person that has shared with all of you how bleak some moments have been and the moments that have pulled me back to the light, a person that has lost people from this terrible mental prison that is depression, I have to tell you all my heart hurts today.

With the recent loss of Kate Spade and now the latest news of Anthony Bourdain’s suicide, it feels all too sad. Then the report that suicide rates in the US have increased by 25-30% since 1999, makes me ask the question, “What is going on here?” We live in a faceless society where judgments of other people’s lives are frequent and uncensored, we have little to no human contact, and compassion & empathy are emotions that most cannot muster.

  We have lost amazing people. Inspirations in music, acting, culinary arts, fashion, and everywhere in between. We have lost members of our military, students of our schools, members of our families; so, what can we do to stop this epidemic? What can be changed to bring about a sense of hope and gratitude for life?

Let’s reach out a hand to our neighbors!

Let’s call for help if we need it.

Let’s spread compassion instead of judgment!

Let’s open our hearts and our homes to those who need it!

If you or someone you know is struggling please reach out!

8 Signs Someone Is at Risk of Suicide

My Heart Hurts Some days on this new "journey" have been ok, other days have been miserable! I have cried myself to sleep and laughed until my tummy hurt; I have spent time with supportive friends and been isolated and alone with my thoughts; I have screamed angry expletives to any and all that would listen and written words of forgiveness in my journal.

[thompsonhouseblog]

Laughter Heals

A couple weeks ago there was so much going on at the house to get it on the market, finals week at school, work ramping up from a much delayed start to the construction season; so when I was asked to come watch a friend do stand-up…YES, PLEASE! I called my little sister and brother and wrangled them into a Wednesday night out. It was a blast!

My sister spent the night cracking me up (sometimes…

[thompsonhouseblog]

Trust

It’s a funny thing, TRUST. You are supposed to trust your parents, friends, partners but in the end most people disappoint you. It may not be a large betrayal but there is always something. Someone disappears, someone leaves, someone lies…it’s just what happens. So, what do you do when someone has challenged your trust? Which offense is enough to be unforgivable? And what in the hell do you do…

[thompsonhouseblog]

Hypocrisy

In September I wrote a a blog post entitled “Is Divorce a New Fad?” Well, after reading it to myself I realize that, I am a hypocrite! Well, not actually a hypocrite because I didn’t understand that I was speaking out of my ass…so what is a word for accidental hypocrite? That’s what I am. 

I spoke all about how The Hubs and I work through our issues, how we are SO WONDERFUL to each other and…

[thompsonhouseblog]

Crying Pretty

If you haven’t heard this song yet, it is amazing! I feel like Carrie is stealing pages out of my journal and writing them into a song! She is my spirit animal and I love her and this song! 

Cry Pretty with Lyrics

 There are certain songs that are just meant for you to hear at certain times. Songs that speak to your soul, express your most inner feelings at a time when you can’t quite make sense…

[thompsonhouseblog]

How Can This Be Happening

I never thought he would leave, turn his back on me and just walk away. I have had a lot of people do that in my life, people that I never thought would but especially not him. I never thought that there was a hurdle we couldn’t get over as long as we were by each other’s side. Now I am not sure of anything. I am broken in a way I never thought I would be, especially by him.

To hear someone say,…

[thompsonhouseblog]

Titles

We give ourselves a lot of titles in life. I am Mrs. “The Hubs” Thompson, I am Frankie’s mom, I am a photographer, a student, a sister…but what happens when a title goes away? How do you re-identify yourself as YOU and WHO THE HECK ARE YOU ANYWAY???

I know a lot of my mom friends that say that once their child is born they loose their identity and become “so and so’s mom”. Their family wants to…

[thompsonhouseblog]

Masks

I wear a mask, pretty much every day. I smile when I am fractured inside. I act happy, like there is nothing wrong and life is good.

When I was young, my mom also played this game. She could be falling apart or screaming at us kids to get our shit together and the phone would ring. She would literally change right before my eyes. I used to think, “I will never do that!” Well, here I am doing it.

[thompsonhouseblog]

I Lost Myself There For a While

I Lost Myself There For a While

Sorry I have been away. I honestly haven’t known what to write about. I am back in school for the semester, The Hubs and Frankie are the same (one of them has a little less hair…it’s Frankie!), and life has just kind of gone. I have been uninspired and honestly kind of down, just plowing through the day-to-day. Then today, I got a jolt of “get your shit together” and knew exactly what I wanted to…

[thompsonhouseblog]

There was this little football game on last night…Minnesota Vikings versus the New Orleans Saints and it was incredible! I mean it was more of a roller coaster of emotions than an episode of This is Us! The whole thing was electric but there was one thing that has really stuck with me and it wasn’t necessarily just about a football game. This quote….

This quote from Stefon Diggs hit me like a ton of bricks! There are a lot of times in our life that we just succumb to the fact that we are not going to win. Maybe it’s a promotion, maybe it’s a love interest; but we get a hint of rejection and just throw in the towel when there is plenty of time left on the clock. We make up our mind that it’s not worth the effort or that the loss is inevitable but if we just kept hope alive, think of what we could accomplish!

Stefon Diggs and the Minnesota Vikings should have lost the football game last night. They went into the second half with a 17-0 lead and blew it. They were not playing like they were in the first half, a feeling that us Viking fans are all too familiar with.

“The Vikings were out of timeouts and nearly out of options when Keenum dropped back with 10 seconds to go from his 39 and threw high into a crowd. Diggs jumped in front of Williams, who rolled awkwardly underneath Diggs during an ill-fated attempt at a tackle. As Diggs raced into the end zone, the crowd of 66,612 at U.S. Bank Stadium erupted.” –  Fox News

People are saying it’s a Minnesota Miracle, but really it’s a couple guys that did not let the score board or the odds tell them the game was over! It was determination and hope that won that game!

I can speak from experience that I have done this. I have said,

“Oh, I am not qualified for that promotion.”

or

“I will never get that job!”

or

“That guy is WAY out of my league.” (p.s. I married that guy, so here is one example where I didn’t let my inner thoughts stop me. Thank goodness!).

So how can you dig deeper? What did you give up on before the clock hit zero? Push yourself to do more, be better, see that it isn’t over before the clock says so! Take a nod from Stefon Diggs and play the game until that clock hits zero. Give everything you have to reach your goal and don’t take any hint of rejection as a final answer!

  Digg Deep! There was this little football game on last night...Minnesota Vikings versus the New Orleans Saints and it was incredible!

[thompsonhouseblog]

The hardest part about New Years is to keep those pesky resolutions. We all set out so purposeful and strong and then doubt creeps in. The doubt that we can have what we truly want. The doubt in our own ability and strength. Top it off with the bitter cold enticing us to hibernate and warm ourselves with pipping hot comfort foods.

As I told you in the last post, I am working on a few resolutions for this year. Not only am I working on my feelings for 2018 but also the usual lose weight and get healthy goals. So how do you keep on the straight and narrow when that tightrope is so darn narrow?

Here are a few tips to help you keep those more “tangible” resolutions.

Tell everyone! – Telling people what your goals are will bring them to ask you how you are doing and encourage you to keep on track as time passes. We all need cheerleaders and if you keep people around you that love you, they would love to be your support. If you do not have a large support group, join one! There are tons of accountability groups on social media that will cheer you on to your goal.

Do not expect BIG changes overnight! – Sure January 1st (or second if you are too hungover) we set our sights on HUGE goals, have all the gumption in the world, and start off with a BANG. But after a few weeks and not seeing big changes, we lose track. Set smaller goals that are achievable in short time so that you don’t get disheartened.

Write it down – Did you know that you are 80% more likely to accomplish your goals if you write them down? Keep a journal and rewrite your goals at the top of each page, this will make them ever present in your mind and keep reminding you that these things are important.

Do not punish yourself, celebrate! – You are not going to be perfect. You may miss a workout, you may eat like absolute shit, and you may lose your way but the minute you start degrading yourself about the “wrongs” you have committed, the “rights” fade away and doubt comes creeping in. Celebrate what you have done right and look at each day as a building block that you can make tomorrow a better day. Did you workout 5 of 7 days this week? That is awesome! Let’s see if you can do 6 days next week. Eat a bag of mini Snickers bars? Tomorrow, lets add a couple veggies tomorrow so that you are too full to eat the sugar.

So share your goals here! Know that I will be part of your support to cheer you on. What do you want to accomplish in 2018?

Healthy Almond Coconut Snack Mix

(Adapted from https://lovelylittlekitchen.com/healthier-coconut-almond-chex-mix/)

INGREDIENTS

1 c each Rice, Corn and Wheat Chex

1 c Coconut Cashew butter granola (or any old granola or rolled oats will work)

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup shredded unsweetened coconut

1/2 cup sliced almonds

Liquid/glaze

2 tbsp coconut oil

1/2c honey

3 tbsp agave nectar

1-3 drops almond extract

DIRECTIONS

Mix dry ingredients in a bowl

Heat glaze until hot (5-6 minutes on med heat)

Poor glaze over dry ingredients and mix to combine

Lay on a parchment lined cookie sheet in single layer

Bake @ 350 for 13-15 minutes

Let cool for 10 minutes and then gently break apart.

Let cool completely and measure out portions.

Super good for satisfying your sweet tooth!

Trying to Behave The hardest part about New Years is to keep those pesky resolutions. We all set out so purposeful and strong and then doubt creeps in.

[thompsonhouseblog]

Finding Peace in the Pieces

The new year usually inspires us set plans for the upcoming year. We think of all the goals we want to set, the weight we vow to lose and the vacations we swear we are going to take! But it also makes me look back at the current year.

I look at the goals I set for myself, the ones that I met and the ones that I didn’t. I look at the friendships I have made and lost. I look at the loved ones that…