thoughts-with-hailey

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Thirty Five

Mates

summary: MATES.

Despite the happiness of the morning success and a wonderful afternoon with the boys, I felt panic settle over me at their serious look. Thousands of possibilities flitted through my mind about what they wanted to talk about however one stayed at the forefront of my mind; they decided they wanted to be together so Azriel was breaking up with me. 

I mean, it made sense. Eris was fae, a high lord’s son even, and I was just human. I could never compete with him. Plus it was impossible to mistake the way they looked at each other, even though there was obvious tension and animosity there was also passion and intrigue. The two were like tortured unrequited lovers who actually both loved each other but refused to admit it. It was very Jane Austen of them, honestly.

So as they stared at me with such serious expressions and grim determination in their eyes that was the only thing I could think of. 

Tears started to fill my eyes even though I knew this would happen eventually. No one ever loved me forever. I was a good time girl, someone to pass the time with until they found their forever person, so I shouldn’t be surprised. It still hurt, though, that it was happening so soon. We barely had any time to enjoy our blissful little bubble of happiness before he chose someone else. Maybe that was for the best. The less happy memories I had to dwell on would hopefully mean that i would get over it that much faster. 

I tried to tell myself that lie as they glanced at each other. 

And then Azriel was…holding me?

Despite my arm full of frogs, which I was certain he hated, he cupped both my cheeks in his giant hands and lowered his forehead to mine with such an earnest expression I focused on him instead of my mounting anxiety. 

“No, no of course not. I told you; you’re mine. We just need to discuss some things. Take a breath for me.”

I hadn’t realized I had stopped breathing. That was probably why my vision was going black. Inhaling a deep breath through my nose I closed my eyes to enjoy his scent as I let his words register; he wasn’t breaking up with me. Which left one question. 

“What do you want to talk about?”

A gentle hand landed on my shoulder then and Azriel released my face so I could turn to look up at Eris’ penetrating gaze. “Come sit,” he instructed, gently ushering me over to a bench near the path we had walked down. 

Azriel followed close behind and the two of them lowered me and my frogs between them. Looking down at my friends I adjusted my grip so I only had George in my grasp, allowing the other two to hop down to their freedom. They turned and gave me a wink each before disappearing back towards the tidepools, leaving me alone to learn my fate. 

Eris took my free hand in his and held it firmly on my thigh as he cleared his throat. “There is something I need to tell you. I should have told you sooner, perhaps, though I am unsure when would have been a good time. I know we’ve only just met so this is quite untoward to be so bold as to declare my intentions, however Azriel has informed me that it is for the best so I do not mislead you in my intentions as we get to know each other. I-”

“Eris. Spit it out,” I demanded, unable to listen to his nervous babbly a moment longer.

“You’re my mate,” he blurted out. 

I stared at him. 

And stared. 

George stared too. 

Surely that was incorrect. I had imagined him saying that because there was no way that I, a human, was supposed to be the mate of Eris. Although, Feyre was Rhys’ mate and Elain was Lucien’s, Nesta was Cassian’s. Who was to say I too couldn’t be turned into a fae in the near future then, if Eris truly believed me to be his mate? But no, that was impossible. Those kinds of things didn’t happen to me. Well okay they sort of did because I somehow ended up in the fae world, but that was the extent of it. I couldn’t be someone’s mate. They had to be playing a prank on me. 

Looking from him to Azriel I tried to read his expression only to find him completely closed off. There wasn’t even amusement there over whatever kind of joke they were playing on me, just…nothing. 

Averting my eyes from both I turned to look out over the Sidra, watched the cerulean waves lap at the rocky shore under the bridge. Truly the world was so beautiful, so perfect, and I still didn’t know how i had managed to find myself in it. For a brief moment my mind tumbled the idea of being in a dream or a coma again, though I quickly dashed the thought away. We had well since proven that theory was a lie. This was real, and Eris really was trying to tell me I was his mate. 

Though his reason for such a lie was a mystery.

“That’s impossible,” I finally replied, shaking him head at him with what I hoped was a playful smile. “Stop fucking with me, okay? I’ve had a nice day and I’m not in the mood for this nonsense to ruin it. Now, since you dragged me over here go get George’s basket from the pools and we can go home.”

Eris frowned, the hopeful look vanishing from his face as he shook his head. “No, Hailey, I’m not uhm, ‘fucking with’ you. I’m being serious. You’re my mate.”

I rolled my eyes at him, keeping my grin in place when I really just wanted to smack him. He was quite the actor it seemed. “Be so fucking for real, Eris. You think I’m going to fall for that? C’mon, I’ve been the butt of this joke before, albeit it was a crush and not mates, but still I’m not falling for this.” Rising from my seat I turned back towards the path we had come down. “Get George’s basket and let’s go.”

Before I could even think to move, two sets of hands were wrapping around my arms to pull me back down to the bench. I glared between the two of them, truly over whatever game they were playing. I opened my mouth to argue some more since my anger was starting to bubble up but as soon as I opened my mouth Azriel’s shadows slid inside effectively shutting me up. His rough fingers grabbed my chin and jerked my face towards his as he leaned in so our eyes were level. Intense hazel eyes met mine with such a serious expression I almost believed him. 

“Listen to me right now, little human,” he all but growled, the dominance in his voice causing my entire body to freeze. “This isn’t a fucking joke. This is a very serious matter, one that’s causing me a significant amount of stress actually, and I want to get this shit figured out. So sit the fuck down and listen to what he has to say so we can discuss this and figure out how to move forward. Do you understand?”

Something about the way he talked to me and was manhandling me seemed to calm my nervous system and I nodded without thinking about it. The shadows slid out of my mouth and he released my chin, took George from my hands, and nudged me to turn towards Eris. 

The red haired fae’s mouth was quirked up at the side as he looked between us. “That’s rather effective. It’s ashame I have flames instead of shadows. Burning her doesn’t seem an effective way to get her to calm down. I suppose I’ll have to think of something else if you’re not around.”

I glared, folding my arms over my chest. “That’s rather presumptuous of you.”

The other side of his mouth quirked up and his attention locked on me. “Gods, you’re beautiful when you’re irritated. Your eyes get this determined sparkle and your eyebrows draw together like you’re trying to figure out if you want to kill me or not.”

“I would recommend not provoking her right now,” Azriel murmured from behind me. George gave an agreeing ribbit. 

“Right,” Eris murmured, the amusement sliding off his face to be replaced with a serious expression. “Hailey, when I saw you at the peace ball I knew. From that first glimpse I felt that pull, the unmistakable connection between us and every moment I spend away from you is causing me anxiety. I’m not sure how this all plays out or how to make this work. I’ve never been one to be in a relationship, both for my own sake and that of my partners because of who my father is,. This, though? This isn’t something I can ignore. I want to get to know you better so we can see what this connection can offer.” He shifted uncomfortably then, his eyes darted over my shoulder to Azriel before coming back to mine. “In full transparency, having a mate would be the best thing to happen to me not only because finding someone to be my partner would be the greatest gift of all, but because having one would me I could finally unite the Autumn Court against Beron. I don’t want to lie to you, so I will tell you this; my first thought when I recognized who you are to me was that I could finally take my rightful place at the highlord of my court. Almost instantly after I realized how much I also wanted to be around you just for the sake of being near you. So, please think about this. I don’t expect an answer right away. I just wanted you to know my intentions as you are going to be seeing a lot more of me, if you want to of course.”

That was a lot to take in, a lot to unpack, and I was sure I was going to be spending a lot of time later doing so. The one question that came to mind blurted out of my mouth immediately. “What about Azzie?”

“That’s up to you,” Eris murmured. “You know Azriel and I have history, and I would never expect you to give up what you have with him for me. I can see the two of you are good together, and I’m certain the three of us could be, too.”

I felt my heart stutter at that and my vision hazed for a second. “Three of us?” I repeated even as my own voice sounded far off to my own ears. 

“If you want,” he hastened to assure me, eyes widening. “We don’t have to. It’s just an option. Azriel and I have a history, as you know, and there are some complications regarding that, however both of us would be interested in making this work with you if you decide that’s what you want.”

I swallowed. 

The two of them. And me. Both of them, with me? The three of us, together. 

Dozens of images flashed in my mind of tangled limbs and soft moans, hands running over my body and mine over theirs. Heat rose in my cheeks, and the rest of me, when I considered what it would be like to have these two gorgeous fae showering me with attention or letting me explore their sculpted bodies. The idea of watching the two of them pleasure each other had my breath quickening at the mere thought of the possibilities. 

“Fuck,” Eris groaned, his eyes darkening and his eyes became hooded. 

My gaze focused back on him in time to see his nostrils flare as he took in a long breath and my cheeks turned scorching hot as I realized what he was smelling. 

“Is he the one you were thinking about the other night?” Azriel murmured against my ear, having moved closer without me knowing. 

I clamped my mouth shut, pushing to my feet once more. This was not the time for sexual fantasies after revealing such life altering information. Snatching George from Azzie I spun around and marched over to where his basket was, then headed up the path back to the main street, not bothering to see if they would follow.

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Thirty-Four

Courting

Summary: there's a lot of feelings here

Okay maybe I had ulterior motives in inviting Eris to lunch. 

Some of them might have been that I loved the way Azriel seemed to squirm, obviously intent on keeping whatever the two of them had a secret, and the strange comforting feeling Eris seemed to evoke in me. I also wanted to keep the conversation from focusing on Azriel and I considering that, even if the tea was working it’s calming magic on me, I was fully aware a fullblown panic attack regarding the ‘l’ word still hovered at the edge of my sanity. 

I decided to ignore all of that, however, and pretend I only invited him out of politeness in return for his gifts he had brought me. 

It was better living in Delulu Land rather than face any of the aforementioned reasons. 

When we arrived at the House of Wind I rushed to George’s enclosure to find him waiting for me. He looked up at me with those big froggy eyes of his and smiled. 

“Hi sweet baby boy,” I cooed as I reached in to grab him. 

The slimy feeling of his skin against mine and his little body nestling into my grip had me feeling elated as I turned to present him to Eris. “Eris, this is my son, George. George, this is our friend, Eris.”

Eris stared at George for a few moments, unblinking and expression blank, before a giant smile lit up his entire face. An honest to gods smile filled with a bunch of shiny teeth and even a dimple in his cheek filled the face of the normally smug son of the most irritating high lord. It transformed him from tortured soul to delighted young male in seconds which had me smiling right back at him, pleased I had garnered this response. 

“Well, he’s quite cute,” Eris complimented, eying George with a look akin to utter delight. “Obviously he takes after his mother in that regard.”

Azriel stared between the three of us, brows furrowed and shadows rippling around him as I held out George to Eris. “Would you care to hold him?”

“Of course,” Eris nodded, reaching for my sweet child. 

I handed him over, pleased to see the ease in which he gathered George into the palm of his hand. George eyed Eris for a moment before he gave a little froggy nod and licked his eye balls. “Aw, he likes you!” I grinned.

Azriel glared. “I thought you said he liked someone if he pees on them.”

I shrugged. “He shows his affection in different ways. Eris, would you like to carry him to lunch?”

“I would be honored.”

Producing the small basket with the velvet lined pillow that the house had conjured for George, I handed it over. “Here, he likes to ride around in this. Now, let’s get going. I’m starved.”

Not long later, we ended up at a little cafe along the river not too far from Feyre’s studio and selected to sit outdoors on the patio that overlooked the water. The waitress had eyed George inside his basket when we had arrived and had looked ready to protest before she had seen who was carrying said basket of frog and had thought better of it. Now George and his basket were perched on the tray of a highchair and he had a few tasty looking bugs that he was enjoying while we waited for our lunch to be brought out. 

Azriel eyed him. “Did we have to bring him? He would’ve been fine at home.”

“Azzie, I was away from him all morning. I’m sure he missed me and he deserves to get out of the house every once in a while too. He needs fresh air.”

“You could release him down by the water,” he suggested, gesturing towards the river. “I am sure he would find all his slimy little froggy friends soon and he would get all the fresh air, all the time.”

I scowled. “Azriel.”

Eris, seeming to sense an argument, reached over and tickled George under his chin affectionately. “Don’t worry little guy, if mommy and daddy start fighting you can come stay with Uncle Eris. I’ll give you all the bug treats your little heart can desire.”

“I’m not his father,” Azriel corrected. “And you are sure as fuck not his uncle.”

“Fine,” I glared, folding my arms over my chest. I had had quite enough of this talk about our son from Azriel. “If you don’t want to be his father then Eris can be. Right, Eris?”

“That depends, do I get access to his mommy then, too?” he winked. 

He. Winked. 

Azriel looked ready to combust at that and I thankfully spotted the waitress with our food. “Ah, there it is!” I pointed out, hoping to change the subject. 

Everyone fell into silence as our food was delivered and we started to eat. Upon the first bite of the sandwich I had ordered I realized just how hungry I was and demolished the entire thing in moments. Before I could even look longingly at Azriel’s plate Eris was scooping a large portion of his past onto mine without even asking, then went back to eating his few remaining bites like nothing had happened. As I looked at him, Azriel gave me a hefty portion of his chicken. 

George even nudged one of his bugs towards me, which I politely nudged back towards him. 

Diving back into my now full plate, I felt very taken care of by all my guys. 

Once lunch was over I demanded a walk by the river, just to see if there were other frogs for George to meet, and was pleased when everyone agreed. Eris picked up George and his basket once more before linking his fingers with mine again and Azriel grabbed my other hand, not to be outdone, which left me walking between the two of them hand in hand down the riverwalk feeling like the luckiest person in the world. 

Eris 

I was the luckiest male in all of Prythian. 

My mate, though she did not know she was my mate, was holding my hand out in public with the sun shining down on us and the soft breeze from the river on our cheeks. She chatted absently was we walked, pointing out little animals and sea creatures alike to her George, who sat idly in his basket looking towards each thing she pointed at. On her other side Azriel walked silently, brooding and moody as always. 

I felt a bit bad for him considering what I had walked in on earlier. It had been evident that something he had said had set her off and he had seemed virtually clueless on how to fix it. It was obvious he cared for her and there was little doubt in my mind that there was something more serious in play than just an infatuation between them, though how that factored into my mate bond with her I had no idea.

If I were him I would be pissed as hell. 

Not only was I obviously flirting with her since I couldn’t help it, there was also the unsolved issues between the two of us. Sure, we had come to terms with what had happened that night, but that didn’t mean he had forgiven me for what I had done and I sure as fuck hadn’t forgiven myself. Yes, everything I had done was for my court. That didn’t mean I didn’t feel guilty about it. 

Azriel was a wonderful person and an incredible lover. If the world were a more perfect place, I never would have left him that night and we would have had so much time, so many memories together. Although, if I hadn’t left him that night who knows if either of us would have met Hailey and that wasn’t a reality I wanted to consider. 

“Oh look!” Hailey exclaimed, pointing to a tidepool in the sand and rocks not too far off. “Another frog! Maybe him and George are friends.”

“Why don’t you take George over there for a froggy play date?” Azriel suggested. 

Hailey nodded enthusiastically and grabbed his basket before either of us could blink, rushing over and squatting near the edge of the tidepool to talk to the frogs. 

Which left Azriel and I alone for the first time in a long time. 

He rounded on me instantly. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed.

“What does it look like?” I shrugged as I slid my now empty hands into my pockets. “I’m sure that you already know my intentions towards her.”

He nodded slowly, his gaze focused on her once more as she laughed at something George did. “I’m aware of your mate bond.”

The words sounded forced, like he was reluctant to say them outloud and I did not blame him for that. Sighing, I cast my gaze towards the sky. “I did not chose her, Azriel.”

“No, you did not, and yet she fits all of your needs, doesn’t she? In your game to overthrow your father and take his title, she would be the perfect pawn in inciting your people to rally behind you. She’s female, for one, and she fits the beauty standards of your court. I’m sure your people would be so pleased to see tiny redheaded high lord children running around, catching frogs and accidentally setting things on fire.”

“She is not a pawn. Fuck, how can you even say that? She’s…everything. Yes, I want to get rid of Beron and take over so I can provide a better life for the people of my court, that is no secret. Having her by my side would obviously help that cause and I am pleased that I finally have some hope in fulfilling my goals. With that being said I will not use her or manipulate her to form a narrative just to achieve those goals. If she wishes to be with me, if she feels any affection for me, I want it to come naturally. From there if she wishes to help me I would owe her everything. If not, I would be content with her remaining in my life while I try to work out another plan.”

He was silent for a few moments, his gaze locked on her and refusing to meet mine, before he finally said, “And where do I fit into all of this?”

“Preferably on her other side, supporting her and I through it all.”

His sudden intake of breath told me he had not expected this answer. 

Looking over I met his hazel gaze with my own and said softly, “It is no secret that I still hold affection for you, Azriel. What we shared that night was special and I have not forgotten it. The only reason I have not pursued you is that it would complicate the standing of my foothold in my court, and in light of recent events it’s more important than ever that Beron gives up his power.”

“And you think your people would accept me by your side if she was there too?”

“I know they would. There are recorded instances of such pairings in our courts history. My grandfather had two mates, and his mother before him, who was heir to the title, did as well. It actually seems rather common prior to Beron, and he is the one that went against tradition. I have little doubt that my people would accept you as long as she is with us. Their values lay in the potential for offspring from the union, that is all. As long as there is a chance for a child, they will accept anything.”

Silence fell between us again as we both turned our gaze to watch her. She had taken off her shoes and was now walking between other tide pools, one frog in each hand as she chatted on to them both. 

Finally, Azriel spoke. “I am not sure how to approach her about this. I hinted to her that I was open to adding another person to our coupling, and she seemed interested yet hesitant. She’s… unsure of herself, sometimes. When she looks at me when she thinks I do not notice, she gets this expression like she isn’t entirely sure if all of this is real, or if she’s waiting for me to tell her I no longer want her. Other times when I try to assure her I do, or express my admiration for her, she gets this panicked look like she might bolt at any moment. It’s difficult walking that line with her.”

“She’s still figuring out how she fits into this world,” I observed. “Think about it, she got displaced from her entire life and ended up in a world she thought was entirely make believe. Nearly instantly she ends up in a high ranking position, has a shadow wielding male telling her he’s obsessed with her, and feels…something, for me. It’s got to be confusing for her.”

“You’re right, of course,” he grumbled, sounding none too pleased about admitting that. “Perhaps I am moving too quickly for her and overwhelming her without offering the smaller reassurances first before getting into the bigger commitments.”

“You basically pissed all over her to claim her as yours with that bite on her neck,” I pointed out. “Not to mention the way you’re constantly grabbing her to show possession, and yet by the look on her face when you said you were taking her to lunch, you have yet to actually court her. Females need to be wooed, Azriel. They need hearts and flowers, romantic dinners and afternoon strolls. You have to convince them that life with you is better than life without you. You can’t just pick one and declare she is yours without courting her first, without convincing her.”

“And if I do all that, how do you factor in?”

“I plan on being her friend. She likes me, there is no denying that, and she likes the idea of the two of us. Eventually she will come to the same conclusion we both did; the three of us together is the obvious answer to everything.”

“What if she does not?”

“I will remain her friend and find another way to remove Beron. My wish is to remain in her life in some capacity, even if only as a friend, for I cannot imagine my life without her in it now that I have known otherwise. She is everything to me, Azriel. Everything. No matter what she wants to give me  I will be grateful for it.”

“I understand,” he murmured. “I will court her, however I think it would be unfair to her for you to not make your intentions clear. You were not there when Feyre found out Rhys had been keeping that secret from her. It devastated her, and I don’t want to see that happen to Hailey, too. It would be fair for you to inform her of your connection and offer to court her as well. Then we can both assure her of our intentions at the same time, and she can make an informed choice to all of our futures.”

I let that idea wash over me, considering the implications of it. I didn’t want her to think the only reason I became her friend was to eventually become her mate and then question everything I had said or done. Telling her upfront did sound like an excellent choice, however the fear of instant rejection had my stomach turning. 

As if he could read my mine, Azriel said, “She likes you, Eris. I can tell from the way she looks at you. Her eyes light up and she gets this dreamy look on her face. She looks at me with heat and passion, with longing and irritation, even admiration at times, but she never looks at me with that purely content expression she has when she spots you. I think she can feel it, the bond, even though she is human. It’s not as strong, and she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s there.”

My heart leapt at the possibility. Could Azriel be right? Did she feel something? If she did, could all of this somehow work out in my favor for once in my life?

She came bounding over then, three frogs balanced in her arms and all of them looking content to be there. “Look!” she laughed, the sound filling my once empty heart with warmth. “George made two friends!”

“Hailey…” Azriel started. 

She only rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t worry, they’re not coming home with us. I asked them and they said no.”

He shot me a helpless look as if to ask ‘What am I to do with her?’ and I just shrugged. 

“Hailey,” I started, glancing between the two of them. “I want to speak to you about something important.”

The smile on her face vanished instantly and I could smell the acrid scent of her anxiety seeping out of her as she looked between us. “What’s going on?” she whispered, her voice filled with apprehension. “A-are you two…Azriel, are you breaking up with me?”

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Thirty-Three

The Meeting

Summary: the meeting takes place and some new developments put azzie-kins on edge

My stomach was in knots as I paced around the room. 

Rhys had turned one of the large rooms in the Moonstone Palace above the Court of Nightmares into a meeting room to host the first ever Human Realm Emissary meeting and I, the Human Realm Emissary, was leading it. 

I had never been good at meetings. 

In the human realm I had worked hard to make sure I had a job where I didn’t need to speak in a meeting that had more than my immediate coworkers and all meetings larger than that were held on zoom with my camera off so I didn’t need to worry about my social anxiety. And now I was supposed to lead a meting comprised of my ideas and thoughts regarding the future of the humans in the fucking fae realm, all in front of the other High Lords as well as the humans who had landed in Prythian. 

I was going to puke. 

Or shit. 

I definitely had Feyre bowels. 

My body didn’t know the difference between public speaking and getting hunted by an assassin. 

“Everything is fine,”Azriel said for the thousandth time, obviously picking up on my distress. His strong arms wrapped around me, enveloping me in a hug tight enough to compress my nervous system and stall some of the anxiety coursing through my body. “You have brilliant ideas, you’ve practiced what you’re going to say dozens of times, and if all else fails Amari said he would help you with your pitch.”

“What if everything goes great but then they all hate me?” I murmured into his chest. 

“They won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because it’s incredibly easy to love you.”

The very second the ‘l’ word was out of his mouth in context with the word ‘you’ after it my entire body went into panic mode. 

Of all the things he could’ve said in that moment he had somehow picked the absolute worst thing to say to me considering my commitment issues, the ones that I had been fighting since the very moment he had declared me his, started sounding the sirens. 

Unable to help myself I pulled away from him and began to pace again, my steps taking me further and further away from him as I tried to quell my rapidly beating heart. In true panicking fashion I started to yap to cover up my awkwardness over what he had just said and the easiest way for me to fill the silence was to practice my speech again. 

He let out a soft sigh and settled back into the chair he had been occupying throughout the morning, listening diligently once again to what I planned on saying when everyone arrived. 

I was about halfway through the overall presentation for the fifth time that morning when the door opened and Rhysand stepped inside closely followed by Feyre and…Eris?

The familiar amber gaze swept the nearly empty room, skipping right over Azriel to focus in on me. His eyes ran down my form as if taking inventory before his lips curved up ever so slightly at the corners which was the closest he could probably get to a real smile. 

“I hope you don’t mind me arriving a bit early,” he spoke softly, the deep timber of his voice somehow soothing the panic in me slightly. “Beron didn’t want to attend so he sent me in his stead, and I wanted to arrive ahead of time so everyone could stop worrying about having to put up with him for the afternoon.”

At his proclamation my anxiety did ease slightly. While there were still other factors in me not wanting to present everything, Beron not being there would make it a lot easier. “Thank you, Eris. That helps a lot, actually.”

He stepped further into the room as Rhysand and Feyre took seats near Azriel, all three of their gazes locked on Eris as he moved towards me. “I brought you something, Hailey,” Eris informed, holding out a familiar looking paper bag along with an ornate looking canister of some sort. “You said you are fond of the chocolate croissants from the bakery so I grabbed one for you. If you’re too nervous to eat I figured it would be nice to have a familiar food for afterwards when you’re sure to be hungry. I also brought you something special from the Autumn Court.”

I eyed the canister he held out, a gold embellished tin with a pointed lid that reminded me of the container the White Witch gave Edmund his turkish delight in. As he was completely right about not wanting to eat because of the nerves, I ignored the croissant and took the tin from him. The top came off easy enough to reveal little sachets of what looked like a tan powder. The distinct smell of apples wafted up from it and I felt my mouth water. 

“It’s a sacred recipe,” he murmured, taking one of the sachets out and waving his wrist. A mug of hot water appeared in his hand and he dumped the contents inside, then gave it a stir with the spoon he conjured. “There’s an ancient tree in our apple orchard, one that’s been there longer than anyone can remember, and it yields these apples that are truly magic. They have calming properties that, when ingested, relax anyone for hours at a time while still keeping them alert. We harvest them and turn them into a powder to make instant hot magic cider. Many of us use to when we want to read or study, and I myself have used it countless times when preparing for an important event. It’s very helpful.”

The familiar aroma of hot cider filled the room and I nearly sighed at the comfort the scent alone offered. Perhaps drinking a strange concoction from Eris, son of human hater Beron, wasn’t the best idea but I simply did not care. Hot apple cider was one of my weaknesses and it smelled devine. 

Taking the mug he offered I cradled it in my hands, reveling in the warmth seeping through the ceramic, and took a tentative sip. 

It was the perfect temperature, nice and hot yet not hot enough to burn me, and the flavor was unlike anything I had ever experienced. The familiar tartness of the apple combined with cinnamon to remind me so much of home, yet there was something else in there too. It danced across my tongue and tickled the back of my throat on the way down, spreading warmth through me on its journey. A moment later the tension in my limbs eased and my muscles I hadn’t known I had been clenching relaxed. All thoughts of what Azriel had just implied shifted to the back of my plate of worried and I felt my brain focus on the task at hand. 

“Wow,” I grinned, taking another sip. “This is incredible.”

Eris nodded, placing the lid back on the tin and setting it aside with the croissant. “I thought you might appreciate it’s magic. Drink up, I expect this presentation to be compelling enough that even Beron won’t be able to argue once he hears how well it went.”

He turned to go find a seat around the table and before he could get to far I reached out to place my hand on his arm. “Eris?”

Those amber eyes met mine once more, filled with some emotion I couldn’t quite decipher. “Yes?”

“Thank you. That was very kind of you.”

His lips tilted up in an almost smile once more. “Anything for you, sweet girl.”

Warmth that had nothing to do with the cider spread through me as he snagged a seat at the table just as the door opened and more High Lords entered the room. 

Across the room I could feel Azriel’s gaze on me. 

Once everyone had arrived and was seated, introductions were made between the ne human arrivals and the other High Lords. Most of the humans were eager to meet each other and discuss their experiences, all except Becca who remained cold and aloof from everyone while still casting longing looks towards Azriel. Thanks to the cider I was calm and patient as everyone got acquainted, and I silently reminded myself to make sure to thank Eris again later for it. 

When it came time for me to present my ideas the nerves were held at bay and I managed to get through everything without incident. 

Everyone seemed to agree that utilizing the human’s talents was a great idea and that a survey to see what they were interested in would be beneficial to all. Well, everyone but Becca who muttered under her breath that she shouldn’t be expected to work when she never even asked to be in this world in the first place. I studiously ignored her, as did everyone else, and we continued on. A few other questions were offered to add to the survey to help with placements and overall they all seemed excited about it. 

The humans were even more excited when I distributed ipads and Nintendo switches for everyone, courtesy of the House of Wind, all of which were magically enchanted to not need to recharge and could connect to the magic internet of the fae realm. That resulted in the High Lords being very interested in what their human companions could teach them and several of them looked excited when I mentioned I would get them one once they were taught how to use it. 

Becca, however, rolled her eyes at all this and tossed the switch onto the table. “You think offering me video games is going to keep me happy? I’m not some gamer nerd who can get excited over digging virtual holes or collecting rocks in a game. I need something fun to do.”

Gritting my teeth I tried to ignore her snotty tone and asked, “What do you consider fun, Becca? You were rather silent when I opened the floor about questions to include on the survey. If you’re not content with what is being offered then your insights and opinions on the matter would help make life easier for you as well as everyone else.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged. “I spent most of my time with my personal trainer, redecorating my daddy’s house, or getting protein shakes with my friends. I can’t do any of that here, so-”

“What is a protein shake?” Cassian interjected, looking curious. 

“Cass, honey, I made one for you last week,” I laughed. 

“Oh that pink thing? That was good. We should have a protein shake shop in Velaris. I could-”

“Not know, big guy,” I grinned at him. “We can discuss your business ideas later. It’s Becca’s turn right now. Becca, you know there are friends to make in Prythian if you talked to others, and I am sure there are shops that sell tea or other beverages where you could go with those friends if you had them.”

“It’s too cold to go anywhere!” Becca complained, her voice petulant again. “I need warmth, I need sunshine.”

“There are places with warmth and sun,” I nodded. 

Then an idea occurred to me.

“Becca. I actually think I have the perfect place for you to use your talents and enjoy the sun.”

She arched a brow at me and I felt everyone in the room turn curious. 

Grinning I looked towards Tamlin and asked, “You said you needed some help to renovate and redecorate your home, didn’t you? I’m sure that Becca would love to spend some time in the spring court where there’s sunshine, and you would greatly benefit from her styling expertise.”

The two glanced at each other and I saw the interest flash in Becca’s eyes. 

Score one for me. 

Not too long later Becca was contemplating what colors to paint Tamlin’s walls so they would bring out the green in his eyes and one of the humans from Dawn Court who had been a construction worker in the human realm was interrupting saying they needed walls first before she could paint them. Kallias and Viviene, pleased to find out that their charge would be transferred to the Spring Court, left early to go pack up her things and send them on their way. Helion and his other charge seemed to be content to flirt with each other the entire meeting so there was little doubt in my mind what would be occurring as they left early too. 

A few more suggestions from the surveys were thrown around and eventually everyone filed out of the room to their respective courts, everyone except Eris. 

Azriel, either oblivious or uncaring that we had an audience of one, stood from his seat and rounded the table to tug me into his arms once more as he sang my praise. “You did so good, love,” he grinned, pressing his lips to my hair. 

There was that word again. When he had said it before when we had been snuggled up in bed together I had never realized how heavy a word it was, and now that had changed. Squirming away from him I grabbed the bag with the croissant in it and tore it open. “I’m starved after all that.”

Seemingly oblivious to my inner turmoil he only rolled his eyes and guided me towards a chair. “Sit while you eat, at least.”

I did, seating myself directly across from Eris, and I grinned at him once more. “Thanks again for this, and the tea. It was super helpful.”

“I’m glad it worked for you,” he said gently, angling his chair towards me so our knees brushed. 

A thrill of heat coursed up my leg where we touched and I felt my heart skip a beat. The longing I had been feeling for something unknown for the last weeks suddenly settled into place, dissipating into nothingness as the now familiar comforting warmth spread. 

Had that feeling, that emptiness that had been plaguing me, been a need for…Eris?

The cool touch of Azriel’s shadows brushed against my neck just before I felt his hands settle on my shoulders in a possessive claim as he came to stand behind me. I watched as Eris’ gaze dropped to where the shadows trailed over Azriel’s bite mark, the one that both of us had refused to let Madja heal and it had blossomed into a bright purple and blue beacon that proclaimed I belonged to someone. A flash of anger sparked through his eyes before he quelled it and pasted on the same bored yet smug expression he always had.

“I think this meeting went very well, and I plan on relaying the information to Beron over dinner tonight. You can expect a response to be sent in a few days time.” His eyes went to the ipad I had given him. “He will not be using this, I assure you.”

“That’s good, it’s for you,” I shrugged, smiling at him as I was unable to do anything else. The calmness his presence brought me combined with the excitement I felt around Azriel had my head producing perhaps a bit too much serotonin at the moment and I found myself almost giddy. “I put my contact information in there, and sent everyone a message so you all can contact me if you need anything. You’re welcome to use it in lieu of Beron as I would rather speak to you anyways.”

His lips quirked up again and he glanced between me and the ipad. “Am I only allowed to contact you for matters of business, or does the offer extend if I find myself alone in bed at night and in need of conversation?”

My jaw dropped open at those suggestive words and I saw a sparkle of mischief in his eyes that reminded me so much of Lucien. Before I could answer Azriel’s hands tightened on my shoulders and he cleared his throat. “I hate to interrupt, but Hailey has yet to eat today and I doubt a croissant is enough to fuel her for this evening so I must insist the meeting concludes so I can get some food into my female.”

The possessive tone in which he referred to me had me melting and yet a twinge of irritation rising in me that I couldn’t quite justify. Eris was being nice to me, even if he was flirting, and there was no mistake that I felt a comfort around him that I had been lacking for days. As good as the idea of food sounded, I didn’t like that he was obviously trying to enter a pissing contest with my new friend. 

“Azriel,” I scolded, glancing up at him with a stern expression so he knew I was serious. “Do not be rude to our guest.”

“Our guest has overstayed his welcome.”

“As he is our guest I believe both of us would need to tire of his presence before that statement could be true, and since I am currently enjoying his presence, it is not. Eris, would you care to join us for lunch?”

“I couldn’t impose,” Eris replied politely. 

“It wouldn’t be an imposition, and I’m afraid I have to insist. You brought that tea, and a croissant, so I owe you a meal in return.”

“A croissant is not a meal,” Azriel murmured behind me.

Ignoring him and his hateful words I stood and held out a hand to Eris. “Come. We can go back to the House of Wind to grab George, and then we can go out to lunch in Velaris! It will be fun.”

Eris didn’t hesitate to take my hand and I grinned up at him as he stood. “Who is George?” Eris questioned, causing Azriel to audibly groan from behind us. 

My grin deepened. “Oh, you’re going to love him. Trust me.”

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Thirty-Two

Origins Of George

Summary: finally we learn where George came from and how I became his mother

It took a few days of hard work for me to write down everything I had gleaned from my visits and then outline a few different ideas on how to handle the current and future human arrivals. Rhys stopped by twice to check on my progress and encourage me along, as well as remind me that the following week would be a meeting with the other High Lords to propose what I had come up with. Each day that passed I grew more and more anxious about my ideas. The things I had discussed with Amari were solid ideas, but only ideas. What if they expected more of me when I arrived at the meeting?

It was that anxiety that had me begging for Azriel to take me back to the Spring Court two days before the meeting. Amari had had excellent ideas and I was sure that he would help out with flushing them out fully, I just needed to see him. Plus, I had gotten the house of wind to make another Switch with a bunch of games installed, so hopefully that would help with Amari’s boredom. 

It only took a few pleases and one suggestive kiss before Azriel agreed to escort me to the Spring Court, so that’s how I found myself strolling along a sunlight path in a recently restored garden of Tamlin’s manor, chatting with Amari over what questions to include on the ‘What Court do you belong to?’ questionnaire when I met George. 

Amari was just about to take a step when I noticed the cutest, littlest, most perfect frog sitting on the path. “No!” I screamed and leapt in front of him. 

Thankfully I managed to scoop up the little blob off the ground before he got crushed. I knelt on the path cradling his slimy little body in my hand and he looked up at me with his giant frog eyes and I swore he winked at me. “You almost stepped on him!” I glared at Amari.

He stared down at me, along with Tamlin and Azriel who had come to investigate why I was yelling. All three of them focused on the little dude in my hand and Azriel started shaking his head earnestly. 

“No. No absolutely not. We are not-”

“I’m calling him George,” I decided as I rose to my feet, my new companion happily in my palms. 

“Hailey, put the frog down.”

I stared at Azriel and his frowning mouth, obviously firm in his thoughts that I was not keeping George. Obviously he was wrong. Cradling my baby next to my face I stared up at him with the biggest, most pleading eyes I could manage. “But Azzzzzziiiieeeeeeeee, look at him! He’s just a little guy. He needs a home.”

“He has one,” he bit out, gesturing to the nature around us. “You are not kidnapping him from it.”

“It’s not kidnapping if he wants to come with me. George, my sweet sweet baby, would you like to come home with me?” I asked gently of my little man. 

George, the absolute gem that he is, opened his mouth to lick his eyeballs. 

“SEE HE SAID YES!”

“Hailey-”

Amari placed his hand on Azriel’s arm and gave a small shake of his head. “Dude. You don’t come between a white woman and the animal she finds outside. Just let her be.”

“If you’re not ready to be a dad that’s fine, I’ll raise him on my own,” I scowled.

Azriel ran a hand down his face as he sighed dramatically. Looking over at Tamlin he murmured, “Why did it have to be a frog?”

Tamlin only laughed. 

Thankfully I had been wearing overalls on my visit to the Spring Court so I tucked George into the bib pocket so Amari and I could continue to work on the questions. There were the usual ones such as what climate do they prefer and what are their dietary habits so we could get a general idea of where they would prefer to live, then we got into the specifics like skillsets and jobs held in the human realm. Overall I still didn’t know a lot about the inner workings of which court and who needed what, so I figured if we just had everyone fill them out then the High Lord of each court could review them sort of like a job application. Amari agreed with this and George seemed to nod along with the idea, obviously a very intelligent frog, so I figured I was doing a good job. 

It wasn’t long before I was stowing away my ipad and bidding the Spring Court farwell once more. Azriel eyed my pocket with obvious aversion yet said nothing as he gathered me close to take me back to the house. When we landed on the balcony I gave him a quick kiss before hurrying off to my, well our, room so I could get George adjusted to being an indoor frog. 

Once alone I pulled out my ipad, settled George on Azzie’s pillow so he could be comfy, and did some research. A few interesting articles, some helpful youtube videos, and a long conversation with the house later we had a nice little setup for my son. 

A very, very large tank took up most of the wall of the room and was filled with various frog friendly plants, rocks, places for him to hide or perch, and enough water for him to swim around. Thankfully magic would keep it clean so I had little upkeep on it, and George could live to his hearts content in the enclosure. I was just analyzing the setup of the rock formation I had been arranging when the door opened and Azriel walked in. 

His eyes went from the tank, to me, then to the tank once more. “Where is he?” he demanded, looking closer. 

“Oh he’s over there,” I gestured towards the bed, nudging one of the rocks a little to the left. 

“You left him- Why the fuck is he on my pillow?!” he demanded. 

“Don’t yell, you’ll startle him!” I hissed, glaring over at him as he marched towards the bed. “He likes your pillow because it smells like you and he wants to get to know you better.”

“He peed on it.”

I managed to bite back a grin. “That means he likes you.”

“Why didn’t he pee on your pillow then?”

I shrugged, heading over to the bed to check on him. George eyed Azriel curiously, then with a sigh he hopped over to me. “Hey little man, you ready to check out your new home?”

He absolutely gave me a nod because frogs can absolutely do that, and he hopped into my outstretched palm. Azriel stared, his face unreadable, as he asked, “When did you teach him that?”

“I didn’t. He’s very smart. Come on, let’s see how he likes his home.”

Behind me he grumbled something I couldn’t quite hear but he followed me over to the tank anyways. George was such a polite gentleman as I carefully set him on the highest perch in the enclosure which was the rock arrangement I had been fiddling with. I watched as he looked around, then went on exploring. With baited breath I stood patiently as he took in every corner of the enclosure, testing out the hiding spots and the swimming conditions, before he hopped back up onto the perch and gave his ribbit of approval. 

“That frog is weirdly intelligent,” Azriel frowned. 

“Don’t speak ill of my son, Azzie. He’s a very smart, very polite frog and there is nothing weird about that. By your aversion to him I would think you do not know many frogs, definitely not enough to deem him ‘weirdly’ intelligent. For all you know they are all this smart.”

“Is he really going to live in the room with us?” he asked, his voice almost whiney. Feyre was right when she said Illyrians were whiney babies.“I like privacy. Having him here staring at us…well I don’t love it.”

“Hmm. Perhaps you’re right. I wouldn’t want to scar the little guy. Is the room across the hall empty? Maybe we can turn the bathroom in there into an entire habitat for him! He-”

“We are not giving a frog an entire room to himself,” he interrupted. 

“Well what do you propose we do with him then, if you don’t want my son to be in the room with us? He needs somewhere to be.”

Azriel’s eyes narrowed on me once more as he seemed to think about this before he looked towards George once more.”Perhaps your…son, would like to live in the parlour? That way everyone can enjoy his presence and he can also be afforded the privacy when everyone is retired to their rooms.”

I grinned. Maybe Azzie would be a good frog father after all. 

It took a bit of maneuvering to get George’s new habitat set up downstairs but once it was everyone seemed pleased by the new arrangements. Azriel watched with his reserved expression and I ignored it, intent on making sure George felt at home. Cassian and Nesta came to investigate not long after and George took to both of them with a pleased little froggy grin. Rhys, Feyre, and Nyx stopped by to meet him too, no doubt told by the others, and Nyx was more than pleased to watch George hop around the parlour, clapping every time he licked his own eyeballs. 

It was only when George settled into Azriel’s lap and promptly peed on him did it seem we had stretched the limits of his patience. 

“Hailey!” he glared, picking up George and holding him out to me. “If you’re going to keep him you need to house train him. This is ridiculous.”

“Cassian’s not house trained and you let Nesta keep him,” I countered, folding my arms over my chest. If he wanted to fight, I would fight. 

Laughs echoed around the room even as Cassian grumbled, “It was one time.”

Azriel, fully unamused, brandished George about as he started his rant. “You cannot just bring in any animal from the outside and make him at home! Especially not a frog! He is slimy and untrained. Already he has peed on me and my pillow, he is taking up all your attention, and he is slimy. He licks his own eyeballs, Hailey. Please, I beg you, put him back where you found him and I will get you a different pet. Perhaps you want a kitten or something?”

“Stop jostling him!” I glared, grabbing George from his hands and cradling him close to me. “Look, you’ve made him sick. He looks green now.”

“He is always green! He’s a frog!”

I sniffed, gently placing my son back in his enclosure. “Like I said, if you won’t want to be his father that’s fine. I have no issues with being a single mother to my froggy child, Azriel.”

“Mother help me,” he murmured, reaching for a bottle of wine that Nesta had offered him earlier. 

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Thirty-One

Training, Fighting, and Stretching

Summary: i will not elaborate

I woke up wrapped up in Azriel once more and was slowly getting used to the fact that was normal. Early morning sunlight streamed in through a gap in the curtains and I figured it to be sometime before nine, which meant I had woken up in time for training. Having missed it the last two days with the ball preparations and then my visits to the other courts, I was looking forward to a good workout. 

Until I tried to move. 

Once again pain radiated inside me so acute and sharp that I gasped as my vision blurred. 

Azriel was up in an instant, eyes alert and hair mussed from sleep as he grabbed Truth Teller from the side table. “What?” he demanded. 

“Nothing,” I wheezed. “Everything is fine”

He gave the room one last suspicious scan and then sheathed his dagger before eyeing me. His gaze roamned over my face then slowly down my still naked body, concern flaring in his eyes with every inch he inspected. “Fuck,” he all but growled. 

“It’s fine,” I assured him as the pain in my cervix was fading. “I’m fine.”

Carefully he reached out and stroked his hands over the outline of his fingers and the perfectly cast renditions of his fingerprints that marked my pale skin with bright purple splotches. Each little mark was traced over with a delicate touch, his fingertip trailing along me and making heat pool in my belly even though I knew the last thing I needed was more of what had caused the bruises. 

“I hate how hot I find this,” he murmured, meeting my eyes once more. The same heat that flared in me reflected back and I bit my lip to stop myself from begging him for more. “I like seeing my marks on you, evidence that every inch of you belongs to me. And I hate that each one of these is causing you residual pain.”

“I like it,” I whispered back with a grin, unable to stop myself. 

He closed his eyes as he let out a strangled sigh. “Do you need a healer?”

“Uhm. Perhaps let’s start with a hot bath and see how I feel after? I don’t want to keep calling a healer every time.”

This answer seemed to displease him and I could see he wanted to protest, so in a show of my own strength I forced myself up and out of the bed while maintaining a straight face. “See, fine,” I tried to say nonchalantly. 

“You’re so damned stubborn,” he shook his head, standing quickly to loop his arms around me. “Bath, then we will see if we need a healer.”

It turned out I did. Even a long soak in a hot bath didn’t cure what he had done to my insides so he called Madja up to the House afterwards. I gave her instructions to only heal the insides and she took one look at the bruises, rolled her eyes, and nodded. By the time Azriel and I walked into the training room together we were nearly half an hour later, but at least I was able to walk on my own. 

Cassian and Nesta both shot us amused looks as I fell in with the small group of beginners I had taken to training with for blocking techniques while Azriel moved on to a more advanced group to check their progress. 

The morning went as usual from there, aside the small aches and twinges from the sore muscles and bruises I hadn’t let Madja heal, until we moved on to an obstacle course. Emerie was absent which left the dream team lacking a crew member, and since the other beginners were even worse off than I was at hand eye coordination I got thrown in a group with Nesta and Gwyn. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, being on a team with Nesta was the dream. The star badass of Valkyrie school, there was little doubt in my mind that I was about to have an amazing run. Gwyn, however? I’m pretty sure she had yet to say one word to me since the first day of my training when Azriel had made it clear to everyone we were together, even if it had been fake at the time. 

I wasn’t exactly thrilled at the idea of running a course with her and even less so when she gave me the ultimate stink eye as I joined her and Nesta. 

“Hi,” I smiled at them both, hoping my instincts were wrong and I was not about to suffer an entire training session of thinly veiled hostility. 

“Hey,” Nesta grinned back, tossing her arm around my shoulders. “I hope Azriel didn’t keep you up too late, we have a course to finish.”

Gwyn’s scowl deepend and I tried to bite back my sigh. 

It was going to be a long day. 

“Maybe if you spent more time training and less time on your back, you wouldn’t be so much of a liability on this team,” Gwyn murmured under her breath.

That was it. 

That was the last straw. 

All morning I had been listening to her subtle jabs and whispered insults, trying my best to ignore them. After almost dislocating my shoulder trying to catch her when she slipped on one of the steep steps of the course? Nope. I was done. 

Without consideration of my actions, or their consequences, I whirled around and my fist went flying. It connected with the side of her jaw with enough force she stumbled backwards and my entire arm vibrated from the impact, but I didn’t care. Taking everything I had learned in the past weeks I fell into a fighting stance and jabbed my other fist in her ribs before she could react. A satisfying crunching sound echoed in the now silent training area as I took my chance. Still shocked by my attack she hadn’t even raised her fists in defence yet so I leapt forward.

The two of us tumbled to the ground and within seconds I had her pinned under my knee with her hair wrapped around my fist and her face shoved into the ground. 

“I’m a fucking liability?” I seethed, rage pouring from every pore in my body. “You’re the one who fell because you were too busy checking to see if my male was paying attention to you. You’re the one so hung up on him that you can’t even focus on the task at hand because you’re too concerned about him and I. And you’re the one who is going to fucking apologize to me for being a hateful bitch before I actually get angry, Gwyn. Now, apologize or I’m going to have a fun time tearing out every single strand of your godsdamned hair.”

“Hailey.”

I glared over at Cassian who was looking at me like he had never seen me before. Next to him Nesta looked equally impressed and concerned yet made no move to help her friend. And Azriel? His eyes were hooded and his lips parted as he eyed me, the obvious desire in his face making my blood heat. 

“What?” I demanded, directing my gaze back to Cassian. “I tried being nice. It didn’t work.”

He seemed to think about this for a moment then shrugged. “Fine.”

“Fine?” Gwyn demanded from under me, her voice muffled by the ground I was still pressing her face into. 

“In the training camps if someone wants to challenge another Illyrian, they can. Hailey’s right, she’s been ignoring your slights all morning. She has every right to defend herself. Let’s see what the two of you can do.”

Madja glared at Azriel as she rushed into the room. 

“You!” she shouted, pointing her finger at him. “Twice in one day? Can you truly not control yourself enough to be gentle with her? She’s just a human and you-”

“Madja!” I interrupted, pulling her gaze over to me. “It wasn’t him.”

She took in what I was sure was a black eye and a split lip, along with a few more bruises and scrapes. “I see,” she replied in a clipped tone as her eyes moved over to Gwyn, who was nursing even more injuries than mine including a blood gash on her cheek from when I had hit her hard enough to split the skin. Some of her injuries had already started to heal thanks to her fae blood and I scowled at her luck with that. 

I sat in silence as Madja worked her magic and her herbs over Gwyn, healing the injuries a lot faster than Gwyn’s magic would have. Once that was done Gwyn tossed me one more scathing look before retreating down to the library, leaving me alone with Madja and Azriel. 

Her hands were gentle yet competent as she them moved over me and I felt the telltale signs of the bruises being healed. Tingling sensations gathered around my eye and lip while the skin knit itself back together and moments later I was as good as new. 

“Thanks, Madja,” I grinned. 

She scowled. “You are human, Hailey. You need to be more careful.” Her eyes slid to Azriel once more and she sighed. “I figured your injuries were of a different nature, so I brought the item you inquired about..”

I watched in fascination as she produced a jar of something that looked like a cream. Azriel took it with amusement dancing in his features and he gave her a grateful nod. “Thank you, Madja. I hope this will prevent any further…injuries, for her.”

“Me too,” Madja replied stiffly. “Don’t call on me again.”

Once she was gone I pointed at the jar. “What is it?”

“A magical potion I requested of her, one that will aid in your, ah, stretching, so your cervix doesn’t suffer anymore.”

I stared at him. “Is that magic lube?”

He smirked. “Want to find out?”

Shoving off the bench I had been seated on since Azriel had finally pulled Gwyn and I apart, I brushed past him with a smirk. “Nice try, bat boy. I’ve got work to do. I have to write down everything from my meetings yesterday and figure out where I want to go from here. You’re welcome to join me in the library if you want, otherwise I’ll see you later.”

As expected he followed diligently behind me.

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Thirty

Tentacles

Chapter Summary: Shadow tentacles, mentions of Eris, a lot of teasing. Enjoy some explicit thoughts

His lips trailed over my jaw again, igniting the need inside me only he knew how to light, and I groaned. 

“We need to have a conversation,” he murmured against my skin as his shadows caressed my skin. “About the fact you insist on being a brat and we have yet to establish those boundaries on what I can do to punish you for it.”

I arched against him shamelessly, loving the way his warm skin moved against mine. “When did we establish that it’s me who is the brat here? Maybe it’s you.”

His hazel eyes flashed above me and he let out a low growl. “You saying that proves you’re the brat here, little liar.”

“Hmm, maybe,” I replied, dragging my feet along the back of his calves before locking my ankles around his hips. “You might have to prove to me you’re the one in charge here.”

Those beautiful lips of his twitched up into a malicious smile seconds before his shadows erupted. The next thing I knew I was pinned to the bed by those shadows as they circled around my wrists to jerk them upwards, shoving my breasts into his face, and secured around my ankles to drag them upwards until they were locked behind Azriel’s neck. Practically folded in half and dripping my need all of the sheets, I whimpered under him. 

“That’s what I thought,” he whispered triumphantly as his fingers tangled in my hair. “Now tell me, love, what do you want me to do to you?”

“I think I better question is what I don’t want you to do to me,” I grinned, tugging at the shadowy restraints. “Which is basically nothing. I’m willing to try anything once, Azzie. If I don’t like it, I’ll tell you.”

His eyes flared with need and I felt his recently satisfied cock pulse against my core. “Safe word,” his strangled voice replied. “You need a fucking safe word, baby.”

“Croissants,” I replied without thought.”

“Croissants,” he agreed softly. “Butter, if you need me to pause.”

“I doubt I’ll need you to-”

“Butter,” he said firmly, his eyes glinting.

“Okay. Butter. Now play with me. I’m yours.”

“Fuck, I love hearing that,” he groaned, grinding into me for a brief moment before he pulled back. 

I gazed up at his expectantly, waiting for whatever weird shit he was about to do, and watched as his shadowed shifted around him. To my utter delight they tapered, then formed small suction cups along their length. Seconds barely passed before tentacles surrounded me, tantalizing with their little suction cups and promises of pleasure. 

“Azriel,” I breathed. 

“You were very good today,” he smiled softly. “It was a wonder watching you talk to those humans and work out ideas on how to proceed. The way your nose scrunches up when you’re thinking, and the way your eyes light up when you seem to have solved a problem? It’s intoxicating.”

The tentacle shadows brushed down my arms and hips, stoking the fire burning low in my belly as he eyed me with hot desire. I watched with awe as he shifted between my thighs so his mouth was between me and his shadows curled familiarly around my thighs. 

With his eyes shining bright with need and the darkness backing him full of forbidden promises, Azriel was everything I had ever dreamt of. My fingers dug into the sheets as he lowered his face to me, the soft hotness of his tongue dragging over my sensitive flesh once before his sinful lips latched onto my clit. 

“Fuck!” I shouted, arching into his waiting mouth, desperate for more and simultaneously over stimulated as his tongue stroked against me. “Az, please!”

He hummed against me as he sucked and lapped at my clit. I was already on the verge of finishing when he shadowy tentacles speared inside me, electrifying everything inside me. The slick feel of them moving within me, the gentle sensations of the suckers against the inside of my walls, had me shouting. 

The room, fuck the entire house, could be on fire and I wouldn’t notice. I was so focused on the way the thick tentacle was slithering inside me, seeking some goal, before it decided to fold in half on itself. The thickness of it stretched my insides almost to the point of uncomfort yet combined with the suctioning along my inner walls it was utter bliss. 

“Azriel, please,” I sobbed, arching up into his mouth and his shadows. “I-I need-”

“I know,” he chuckled against my clit, giving me the faintest vibration that threatened to throw me over the edge. “I know just what you need, baby girl.”

I sobbed out a protest as his lips abandoned my needy clit, fully ready to beg him for anything and everything if it meant I could come. He drew back so he could watch my face as he pressed his thumb firmly to my sensitive flesh, rubbing in an aggressive circle once, twice, until my entire body bowed up with pleasure. 

Something snapped within me at his administrations, something I had never experienced before and feared I never would again. He continued moving his shadows in me and rubbing against me as I came, guiding me through my orgasm with praising words. His eyes held mine, filled with triumph, as he watched me. I broke underneath him, truly and utterly devastated, unsure if I should ask for more or ask him to stop. 

“You are so fucking perfect,” he murmured as his shadows curled inside me, stroking softly as he watched me with reverie. “What did I do to deserve this?”

Seeing the question in his eyes, the hesitation, I lurched forward to twine my hands in his hair only to find my hands still bound. With my ankles behind his back it was a stretch and tightened my body around his shadows, eliciting another groan from me even as I pushed forward to set my lips against his. “You deserve everything good and wonderful, honey,” I assured him. “It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”

He hummed at this, stroking his tongue against mine for a moment before he released my mouth to smile predatorily at me. “You have been a brat lately. The games you played at the Peace Ball…”

I whimpered, my insides aching at the idea of spending another second without him inside me. “Can you punish me later? I really need you inside me.”

“Perhaps the perfect punishment is that I’m not inside you,” he smiled. 

“Az, no! Please I need you-”

“I think what you need is irrelevant,” he murmured, swirling his thumb so softly around my clit that it was no where near enough to give me the friction I needed. “I’m pretty sure right now it’s about what I want and what I need.”

His shadows slid out of me so quickly I gasped at the unexpected sensation, the emptiness. Then a second later I felt the gentle prodding at my other opening. I yelped, taken off guard and a little shocked at the sudden change in direction, and Azriel only smiled. “Have you ever had someone here, my love?” he asked softly, the tip of the tentacle easing itself in just an inch. 

“N-No. Az…”

“Hmm. You said you wanted to try anything I wanted. What if I wanted to fill up your sweet pussy while my shadows took you back here? Or the opposite? Or perhaps we can invite someone else into our bed and the two of us will worship your perfect little holes for an evening?”

Wetness gushed between my thighs at the thought, desperate for the things he was offering, yet my mind protested. The idea of two males worshipping me was enough to make my head spin and my body pulse with anticipation, however there was still apart of me that shied away from the idea. Azriel was mine and I was committed to him, so why would I want someone else? On the other hand, if he was offering to add someone for both of our enjoyment, who was I to stop him. Sudden images of Eris’ amber eyes meeting mine over the soft planes of my stomach, his mouth pressed to me and that sassy tongue of his doing wicked things to my body had me weeping with need. 

Azriel’s shadows stroked through the wetness, coating the tip of the tentacle in the evidence of my interest in this idea, before it slid backwards once more. “You like the idea,” he murmured as he eased the tip in with gentle thrusts. “I can see the way your eyes are going all hazy with interest and your body is saying what your words are not. Tell me, little liar, who do you picture stretching out all your holes with me?”

I gasped at the unfamiliar stretching sensation as he eased his shadow in further as his mouth skated over the pulse in my throat. “H-Helion,” I managed. 

The sharp pain of his teeth latching onto the tender skin of my neck sent me bowing off the bed and I whimpered, tugging hard at the shadowy restraints keeping me hostage. A moment later he released my neck and I felt a slow stream of blood leak from the torn skin. His soft tongue lapped it up before he murmured against me, “Always lying, aren’t you? For every name, every lie, that comes out of your lips you are that much farther away from me letting you come. Now, tell me the truth; who do you want in our bed?”

The term our bed was not lost on me and filled me with a riot of pleasurable thoughts even as my mind processed what he was saying to me. His fingers brushed over my clit again, a barest hint of pressure, while his shadows remained behind me easing in and out with shallows thrusts that were just enough to stimulate me yet not enough to give me what I needed. Pressing my lips together I said nothing and opted to arched into his touch instead, hoping he would forget the conversation. 

A pleased groan rumbled in his chest and he slid his fingers along my damp flesh until he found my hot opening, only he didn’t ease himself inside. No, he circled the entrance with the tips of his fingers, teasing and taunting while his thumb brushed against my clit once more. 

He drew back from my throat to meet my gaze, his dark eyes filled with satisfaction as he worked me over. “Oh, look at you,” he murmured, his tone taunting. “You’re so needy, aren’t you? Gods above, you look fucking delectable with your arms tied up and you neck marked, every inch of you practically humming with need. Maybe I should keep you like this all night, writhing and begging, so I can enjoy the look of you.”

I opened my mouth to protest and he shot me a sharp glance, effectively shutting me up as his eyes feasted on my naked body. His gaze landed between my legs where his fingers and shadows were playing with me, teasing me, and a feral grin spread over his lips. “Hmm, you’re taking my shadows so well. I just know you would take another cock like the good girl you want to be. Tell me who you’re imagining, and I’ll let you come.”

Once again I pressed my lips firmly together, unwilling to lie yet not wanting to reveal who I wanted. Something about saying Eris’ name aloud felt like it had power and I wasn’t ready for that. If I admitted to wanting him would Azriel see me differently? I doubted that as I was certain there was something between the two and there was little doubt that they were still attracted to each other. It was more as if I said it, everything would change. I was just getting used to Azriel’s seemingly unyielding devotion and obsession with me; adding another person into this mix would be moving to fast. 

“I-I want someone, I just don’t want to act on it just yet,” I managed. “I want you, only you, for now at least.”

Both his shadows and his fingers paused, leaving me squirming, as he eyed me. When both withdrew I would have sobbed if he wasn’t immediately shifting us so his mouth was hovering over mine and his thick cock was poised at my entrance. I met his gaze and silently begged him to move, to give me what I need, and I groaned with my entire chest as he slowly eased himself inside. 

“Alright,” he said gently, framing my face with both his hands as he set a sweet kiss to my lips. “You can evade the question for now, but I do expect an answer eventually.”

I nodded earnestly, arching into his careful intrusion. I was beyond the point of thinking of it anymore and could only focus on the wonderful sensation of him stretching me, filling me, with those measured thrusts. “More,” I demanded, pulling at the restraints once more as I wanted to grab him to tug him fully inside. “I need all of you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you again,” he chuckled, continuing with the gentle rocking of his hips that was driving me insane. “I’m not sure Madja would forgive me if I had her come here twice in a week to repair whatever it is I did to your human body.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” I hissed, pulling harder against the shadows as I arched into him. “I need you to fuck me.”

His eyes flashed and a second later soft, teasing Azriel was replaced with the hungry, ruthless version. The gentle hands holding my face released me to grab the back of my thighs and he shoved them into my chest before surging into me with one powerful thrust. 

A scream tore out of my throat and erupted into the darkened room as he started pounding into me with no warning. The pain of his size mixed with the incomparable pleasure he managed to give with it and I lay under him effectively caged by his body and shadows. Every thrust had my entire body jolting with the force of it and I could do nothing but take it, love it, as he filled every empty space inside me. His shadows that had been toying with my butt slid around me and circled my nipples, caressing them with such gentleness that was a stark contrast to his motions my eyes started to blur with the sensations. 

Everything faded once more until it was just the three of us, him, his shadows, and I, tangled into a web of pleasure I wasn’t sure I could ever escape from. I tumbled over the peak of my pleasure and into another one so quickly my breath caught in my throat and I was certain I would perish from the pure bliss of it all. Azriel fucked me through both of them, never once losing his rhythm, and when the third one crest tears started running down my cheeks. 

“Please,” I sobbed. “Y-your turn. I can’t.”

He grunted his agreement, his fingers digging so hard into my flesh I was certain that they were inside the muscles of my thighs gripping my very bones, as he moved faster. Seconds later I felt the unmistakable pulse and his entire body shuddered over me, filling me with the hotness of his release. 

Carefully he eased my legs back down onto the bed and his shadows released their holds on my wrists, but my muscles were so sore I couldn’t find the strength to bring my arms back down. Azriel seemed to realize this as he reached up and tugged them to my sides before he rolled with us. We ended up snuggled up together with me sprawled atop him and my chin tucked under his, our bodies still locked together. Gentle hands stroked down my spine in a soothing cadence that had my eyes drifting shut despite the amount of sleep I had just gotten. 

“Are you okay?” he asked softly. 

“Perfect,” I replied. 

His arms wrapped around me for a moment in a tight hug and he pressed a kiss to the top of my head before he resumed his soothing strokes down my back. “You’re perfect. Sleep, my love. You’re going to be sore during training tomorrow, and you still need to outline your ideas for the humans.”

I sighed and pressed myself closer to him, truly wishing we could disappear for a few weeks without any responsibilities or intrusions so we could enjoy our time getting to know one another better. 

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Twenty-Nine

Contentment?

Chapter Summary: slice of life moment with azzie-kins being a cinnamon roll for me

I was fucking exhausted. 

An entire day of talking was incredibly draining on me. As much as I loved to chat and get to know the other humans that had arrived in Prythian, hear their stories and suggestions for our future here, I just needed some alone time. Extroverted introvert tendencies had me enjoying a conversation but when I was ready to stop, I wanted to go the fuck home and curl up in my room alone. 

Only I couldn’t be alone because Azriel was there. 

That exact scenario had been a big reason why I had stayed single for so long in the human realm; I needed my space. Most men I had met weren’t pleased with my tendency to put my phone on do not disturb for hours or days, even sometimes weeks, at a time because I just needed to recharge. They always saw it as me being too busy or too avoidant when in reality I wanted to be around them, I just wasn’t sure how to express that being around me in that state meant there was no talking or doing any activities together, it simply meant being in the same room at the same time while pretending the other person didn’t exist. 

So yeah, most men weren’t into that and it seemed best to just remain single. 

When we arrived back at the House of Wind I was lagging, fully ready to cocoon myself into my blankets and ignore everyone for at least a day while my brain processed things. Azriel and Rhys, who had joined us after the Spring Court, were singing my praises about how well my first day had gone and it was driving me mad. I wanted my bed, I wanted a book, and I wanted some fucking peace and quiet. 

“I want to go to my room,” I interrupted Rhys’ particularly excited rendition of how excited the two humans in the Dawn Court had been to listen to me talk. 

He seemed undeterred by this and nodded. “Of course. It’s been a long day for you. Go rest up before dinner and then we can tell everyone how successful you were today.”

I tried not to sigh, fully knowing I was not going to be at dinner. Glancing at Azriel I saw that he and his shadows were eyeing me closely so I offered him a smile. “I’m going to take a nap.”

“I’ll join you.”

The words made me want to shout, to tell him to back the fuck off. Instead I nodded and we headed towards my, well our, room. The entire way there I contemplated how to explain to him I needed an actual nap and not kinky fuck time. Every scenario I thought of had me ending on the same conclusion; he would hate me. So either I could suffer through more stimulation when I was truly and utterly out of spoons, or I would lose my perfect male. 

Fuck me. 

When I pushed open the door to our room I half expected him to throw me against it and was shocked at the way he closed it softly behind us, then headed to the bathroom without a word. A moment later I heard the bathwater running and the distinct smell of my favorite soap, the that had been discontinued in the human world yet the house had somehow managed to make, wafted through the air. 

Irritation filled me. My soap? Seriously?

I marched across the room and into the bathroom, ready to fight him, only to find him lighting candles around the giant tub. 

I stared. 

Once the last candle was lit he grabbed a towel from the sink and folded it neatly to set on the bath tray I didn’t even know we had, then grabbed a large glass of wine and slipped it into the groove made to hold the glass. He scanned it all, inspecting the setup, before he gave a satisfied nod and turned to me. “Your bath, love.”

Tears pricked my eyes. 

“For me?”

He raised one brow. “Yes for you. You know I don’t like soaking my wings in your bubble bath bubbles; it tickles. Now do you need me to undress you or do you want to get in on your own?”

I contemplated that, then thought better. As tired as I was, if he started undressing me I didn’t trust myself not to get a little turned on and I really didn’t want that at the moment, I wanted my bath. My clothes dropped to the floor faster than either of us thought possible and I crawled into the steaming tub of bubbles. A content sigh slipped through my lips as I sank into the warmth, letting in envelope me and surround me. The water was the perfect temperature and the bubbles just right. It was the perfect bath. 

Azriel grabbed the folded towel he had put on the tray and slipped it under my neck so my head could rest comfortably on the lip of the tub, then he dragged a small stool I had not noticed before behind the tub. 

“What are you doing?”

“Just shut up and relax,” he murmured, his hands finding the ties in my braids. 

Deftly he undid the braids and stroked his fingers through my hair with such reverence I felt the tears returning again. His strong hands slipped into the tresses so he could skillfully massage my scalp with such a practiced rhythm that it took only seconds for me to wonder why he didn’t do this professionally. 

“Azriel…”

“Hush,” he said quietly, his voice barely a whisper. 

I stared at the slowly darkening ceiling, watching as shadows slithered over it and around the room. In moments we were surrounded in darkness aside the warm flickering flames of the candles and my entire body felt more relaxed than I had in a very long time. My eyes drifted shut next and I let myself just exist, even as the soft humming started behind me and then was followed by the words in a language I had never heard before. 

Beautiful images flashed through my mind of magic and dancing and life, colors swirling into one and other as the words lilted in my ear. Time seemed to stand still as I was pampered, nothing else mattering aside the sound of his deep, soothing voice and the gentle caress of the water. I barely noticed when he eased me forward so he could soap up my hair, or the way he so carefully washed out of the suds. The conditioner he applied was meticulously rubbed through every strand in an effort to hydrate it, and I lounged backwards once more as he manipulated my limbs so he could scrub them clean. 

Every touch was gentle and soothing without the underlying hunger I expected of him, giving me complete peace throughout the process without the worry he wanted something from me in exchange for all of it. Each second that passed by I grew more and more relaxed under his caring administrations, unsure if I had ever been pampered so well in my life. 

By the time he hauled me out of the bathtub and into a giant fluffy towel, every inch of my body was languid with relaxation and sleep. I sat contently between his thighs while he brushed my hair until it was dry, then clung to his neck as he carried me to the bed. 

Never once did he ask me a question or expect me to talk, the only words spoken were in a language I couldn’t understand and there was no expectation of a response to them. The words faded back to a hum when he tucked me into the bed, and even then humming faded once he curled himself around me. 

I drifted off to sleep in his arms once more, shadows still blocking out any unnecessary light from the room. 

When I woke I was still surrounded by darkness, unable to tell if it was day or night yet somehow aware that it was very late. Azriel was wrapped around me like I was his own personal teddy bear, his arms secure around my waist as I was sprawled out over his body, and I grinned into the skin of his throat. How the hell he seemed to know exactly what I had needed was unbelievable. Book boyfriends were on another level all the time and it seemed Azriel was no different. 

He deserved all the good things. 

Fully rested and rejuvenated, I decided my male needed a reward and I was up to the task. 

Though we had yet to have the conversation about our kinks and limits he had very enthusiastically informed me that if I ever wanted his cock in my mouth that it was fair game. If he was sleeping or awake, if I wanted it I could have it, and I was in the perfect position on top of him to feel the beast he kept in his pants was fully erect for me. 

Grinning at my plan, I wiggled against his strong grip so I could slide my way down his body to my goal. His arms were reluctant to release me yet when his hands met my hair he gave up on holding me so he could tangle his fingers in it as he loved to do. 

I knelt between his strong thighs and tugged the sleep shorts over his hips to reveal the raging monster inside. Even in the darkness of the room I could see the veins pulsing against his darkened skin and the flushed tip just begging for my tongue. Gods, he was fucking beautiful and somehow he had chosen me. I was never going to get over that. 

My fingers wrapped around the thickness of him and a small groan echoed in the room as I knew how wonderful that thickness would feel between my legs. He pulsed beneath my palm as I gave him a squeeze, causing a small drop of liquid to ease out of the tip. Instantly my tongue darted out on it’s own accord, desperate to taste him even though I already knew how wonderful it would be. The salty, manly flavor hit my tongue and I had to bite back a moan. 

I fucking loved sucking cock, and more importantly I loved sucking his beautiful cock. The taste, the warmth of it all, was ike a fucking drug and I knew that once he woke up the little groans and gasps he made would fill the dark room, igniting my own passion. 

It was a beautiful way for both of us to wake up. 

Swirling my tongue along the tip and then down the thick vein on the underside of him caused his thighs to twitch. I paused, glancing up to check on him, and was pleased to find him still fully asleep. One arm was now tucked behind his had and the other still rested in my hair though he was not urging me to suck him, just holding me gently in sleep. 

I traced my tongue over him a few more times so I could enjoy the feel of him against it before I wrapped my lips fully around him, and sucked. 

His eyes flew open and locked on mine, already full of heat. A guttural groan filled the room as I swallowed down as much of him as I could take and used my hand to pump the remainder of him, flicking my wrist in the motion I knew would drive him wild. In seconds he went from a docile dreamer to a hungry male. 

Satisfaction filled me when his fingers tangled in the sheets at his sides, a clear indication he was letting me have what I wanted with him. Feeling incredibly triumphant and even more powerful, I got to work. The tip of him slid into the back of my throat as I bobbed over him, setting a comfortable pace between my mouth and hand. His labored breathing grew more ragged with every movement and his hips thrust up slightly, begging for more. When I slid my mouth off of him he let out a strangled noise, only for it to be cut off by an actual whimper from my big bad shadow daddy when I trailed my tongue down the underside of him again. 

“Hailey, please. Either finish me or let me fuck you,” he begged, his voice barely controlled. 

I only grinned against him and dragged my tongue back up before wrapping my mouth around him once more. Determined, I set an even quicker pace and hollowed out my cheeks while I moved over him. With one hand around his cock and my mouth suctioning over him, I reached my free hand out to the spot I had forced Nesta to tell me about. One flick of my finger over the junctor of his wing just under his shoulder, where it was conveniently spread out for me, had the male shaking under me as thick jets of cum spurted into my mouth. 

I swallowed everything he gave me, hungry for more as it kept coming. His shout tapered off into a near whine towards the end as he rode out th entirety of his orgasm while I continued sucking on him, desperate for every drop. 

His hands tangled in my hair once more and he tugged me off of him, much to my dismay, so he could roll me underneath him. 

Dark eyes met mine in the unlit room, filled with heavy lidded satisfaction and a little awe as his thumb traced over my jaw. “Wing play, little human?” he murmured, nuzzling against the sensitive spot below my ear. “Are you trying to drive me past the point of no return? Wing play combined with this perfect fucking mouth of yours is godsdamned lethal. I’m not even sure that should be legal.”

“So, you liked it?” I grinned. 

“Mm,” he agreed, brushing his lips over my jaw. “I want to drag you out of this house and lock you up somewhere that no one will ever think to look so I can enjoy every inch of you for days, weeks, fuck just forever, without interuption or obligations.”

“That would be lovely,” I agreed quietly, realizing I meant it. 

His acts earlier further cemented that I knew I truly cared for him. We might not have known each other long and we had a long way to go to understanding everything about each other, and perhaps it was overly optimistic to think thing might work out, yet everything he had shown me so far was perfect. He was understanding and kind and kinky and he respected me even when he was mad at me. Every aspect of him was perfect. 

So why was there something lingering inside me telling me that Elain was right, and this wouldn’t end happily for the two of us?

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ideas and Alliances

Chapter Summary: Visiting the Spring Court, join meeeee

The second visit was somehow both better and worse than the first. 

It turned out that the next human, Amari, had landed himself in Spring Court. 

I had yet to meet Tamlin as he had not come to the Peace Ball, insisting on sending a proxy for his presence there. Apparently he was fully supporting the courts uniting together to form a more cohesive continent, he just didn’t want to be apart of the festivities that came with it. 

When we landed at the edge of the Spring Court border, right where spring met autumn, I paused. A gentle pull inside me had me turning away from the path Rhys indicated would lead to the manor, instead facing in the opposite direction. The fall foliage had my heart stuttering in my chest and the sudden longing that I had to take a step in the wrong direction overwhelmed me. I knew we had a mission and I was fully onboard with it, but something was calling to me from the Autumn Court. It was a faint tug on my heart, or maybe my soul, that begged me to take another step towards it. The feeling was so powerful, filling me with such longing, I almost felt like a voice was whispering in my ear that I was meant to go in that direction. 

Azriel’s firm arm around my waist tightened and he tugged me towards the Spring Court manor, leaving behind whatever was calling me to the red and orange trees. 

The walk to the manor was lovely of course, especially after the frigid cold of the Winter Court. Faint breezes filled with pollen and the scent of spring wafted into my nose causing a few startling sneezes to erupt before I adjusted to the climate change. On the way we passed lands that looked almost desecrated prior, and were now growing over with weeds and new fauna. Uprooted trees littered the ground with their gnarled roots exposed and growing over slowly with moss. Bugs and small animals alike made their homes within them, content to live in the ruins of what was probably a once beautiful scenery. 

“He really let the place go when his court collapsed, didn’t he?” I murmured. 

“He’s really not been himself,” Rhys replied quietly, hands deep in his pockets. “I know I should hate him for everything he put Feyre through, and I still harbor resentment for that of course, but looking at this? I can’t help but feel sorry for him. He lost everything.”

I nodded, understanding completely. Tamlin was obviously my least favorite High Lord, well aside Berdon, and even then I wouldn’t wish all of this on him. 

By the time we had finally gotten to the manor I had already resolved to do everything I could to make this visit better than the other one. Charging ahead I walked up to the large wooden doors and knocked with the determination of a cis white male demanding entry to a store that closed two minutes prior. 

Only a moment later the door swung open to reveal Tamlin himself. His blond hair was scraggly and filled with leaves, his face gaunt and streaked with dirt, and his clothes? They were no better than rags. A putrid smell wafted from him as he looked down at me with emotionless eyes and it took everything in me not to gag. 

“You’re late,” he said stonily. 

“I apologize, my lord,” I said sweetly, knowing how he loved to adhere to manners. Offering him a curtsey I bowed my head as I spoke. “My name is Hailey, the new Human Realm Emissary. Being late was not on the agenda and I do hope we caused you no inconvenience by it.”

“You may rise,” he bit out, though his voice was accompanied by the sound of his growling stomach. 

Quickly I rose back to my feet, making sure to keep the bright smile on my face, and did something I was sure I would never do; I reached in my pocket and tugged out the napkin wrapped croissant I had taken from the breakfast table. “Are you hungry? I packed myself a snack just in case I got hungry, but if you would like it I’d be more than happy to offer it as an apology gift for us being late.”

His eyes locked onto the croissant, suddenly full of hunger and also apprehension. Behind me I heard Rhysand soft snort. Immediately Tamlin’s expression hardened and he took a step back into his manor. “Perhaps this was a bad idea,” he nearly growled. “Now is not the time to-”

“Rhys,” I interrupted, turning to the high lord behind me. “I believe since we are going to be late to our other appointment today, it would be in everyone’s best interest if you went ahead of us to warn them and check if it works with their schedule. Azriel will stay with me, of course.”

Rhys looked between Tamlin and I before he gave a curt nod, then strolled off. 

When I turned back to Tamlin he looked slightly less closed off than he had a moment ago, though still wary. I proffered the croissant once more, wiggling it under his nose with a grin. “It’s chocolate.”

His large hand snatched it from my so quickly I did not even see it leave my grasp, only that he had it unwrapped and a huge bite taken out of it before I could blink. “Come in,” he said around his mouthful of croissant as he stepped back to allow us entry. 

Carefully I stepped over the threshold, while holding my breath, and into the manor that seemed nearly overrun with vegetation. Azriel hovered at my side so close I could feel his body brush mine with every movement and his shadows swirled around me, yet as I looked around the ruined foyer I felt no sense of alarm, only sadness. It was easy to see the place had once been beautiful and it hurt to know the events that lead it to fall into such disrepair. 

As if he noted my appraising look Tamlin cleared his throat. “I apologize for the mess, Hailey. Things…well, things happened and I haven’t really gotten around to cleaning up everything yet. I did make sure there were a few useable rooms for my human guest, of course.”

“That’s very kind of you. I am sure you are busy with trying to rebuild after everything that happened, and Amari probably appreciates the effort you put in to making sure they had a comfortable space.” 

His expression softened even further and he gave a small nod. “This way, please.”

Azriel and I followed him through the wreckage and the vegetation, up the crumbling stairs and down a long hall. At the end he knocked softly on one of the only doors remaining on it’s hinges. “Amari, your guests have arrived.”

The door swung open and a beautiful man stood on the other side looking annoyed at best. “I thought you said they would be here an hours ago.”

“That’s my fault! I’m sorry, things got a little weird in the Winter Court. Is now an okay time to talk? I’m Hailey, by the way.”

He nodded, not seeming to be impressed by me. The door opened wider to show a small sitting room and another door ajar that lead to a bedroom. I paused before entering, however, and looked over at Tamlin. “My lord, perhaps while we are talking you would like to get cleaned up? You uhm, well to be blunt you smell like you’ve been rolling around in cow shit and if I have to keep smelling you I might vomit.”

Tamlin’s cheeks pinked slightly as he jaw dropped open, clearly not having expected me to say anything like that. Quickly I continued, “I don’t mean it to be rude. I understand you’re like, super depressed and going through some shit, which is why you smell like it. I just think that it would be better for everyone, yourself included, if you bathed. Feeling clean can do wonders for your mental health.”

I half expected him to yell at me, or perhaps break another piece of furniture, but instead he let out a deep sigh and gave a slow nod. “I could use a bath. I will return once I am presentable.”

He made a little bow before disappearing down the hallway. 

Once he was gone I finally took a deep breath and stepped into Amari’s rooms. 

“Thank fuck for that,” he muttered, taking a seat in one of the arm chairs. “That guy has smelled like that since I got here, and he never sticks around long enough for me to mention the concept of bathing. He just checks I’m alive and disappears again.”

“Well, hopefully we can improve your conditions even if it is just making your host smell better. Tell me, Amari, how has things been since you arrived? Do you uhm, know where you are?”

“Yeah,” he waved off absently. “Tamlin explained that this is the fairy realm, and that it just went through a war which is why his manor is all fucked up. He’s got PTSD or something, right? Anyways, he said there were other humans and no one was really sure how we got here. You’re a human from earth too?”

“Yep! I arrived a few weeks ago too.”

“You seem a lot better adjusted,” he observed as Azriel took a seat on the sofa with me, sitting far too close to be considered just friendly. “The housekeeper explained the basics of this world, and that you’ve been living in the Night Court. You managed to find yourself a job as the human relations representative?”

Having decided it was best to start with my story I gave him a quick rundown of my arrival, my knowledge fo the world, and my roll I had been given. Amari was thankfully very accepting of everything as I explained, seemingly way better adjusted than Becca. When I got to the end of my spiel he leaned back in his chair with a long sigh. 

“That’s really….something.”

“You’re a lot more understanding than the other human that I met,” I hedged. 

He only shrugged. “I was fucking around near a fairy circle in the woods when this happened. They all said the shit was real and I told them it wasn’t, so I went out to the one we had heard about to prove I would be fine. Ending up here? It only seems fitting.”

Well, yeah, that would do it.

“And how has your life been since you arrived?”

“Fine, I guess. Tamlin is gone most of the time, he hired a housekeeper to see to my needs, and I have free range of the manor. I found a room of a bunch of art supplies so I’ve just been drawing and wandering around. Altogether it’s a pretty good life with no bills or work or deadlines.”

“Okay, great! It sounds like you’re not super unhappy. Is there anything you think would make you happier, or anything you want me to know?”

“Honestly just getting that guy to take a bath is great, and having someone to talk to. Fuck, if you could get me like a phone or something to do? It’s been boring as shit here.”

Okay, this was going great. I beamed at him. “I can get you an ipad! Though…I’m not sure it would connect to the internet here. I’ll have to see what we can do about that. As for having people to talk to, I’d be more that happy to visit, and I can see about having you visit other places as well. We haven’t really set up rules for where humans go once they get here. Do you have any thoughts or suggestions?”

“I mean, I don’t really want to commit to one place without seeing the others,” he frowned. 

“Oh! That’s actually a great idea. Perhaps we can have an official tour of all the courts, and everyone can see where they fit in most. Maybe a questionnaire or something to help place people. Like an aptitude test for job placement but instead it’s different courts!”

For the first time since our arrival, Amari looked excited. “Actually that’s a brilliant idea. You know how sports teams basically recruit their players and try to woo them to join? Maybe that can be a thing, too. We can present our skills and then the courts can offer us positions based on them, and the best offer we go to them.”

Azriel looked between us like we were speaking a different language, and we kind of were. For a solid twenty minutes we shot ideas back and forth, both of us excited and feeding off each others energy. By the time Tamlin returned, cleaned and dressed in actual clothes, I had a solid list of ideas I couldn’t wait to flush out. 

Tamlin’s green gaze locked on where Azriel’s hand was resting absently on the back of my neck, the little display of dominance and affection having been slowly melting me since he had put it there a while ago. A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth and he asked, “How has your visit been going?”

“Really well, actually!” I beamed, rising from the sofa. “We have a lot of ideas, and with your permission I would love to visit again to talk more with your house guest. In the meantime I had a few ideas to run by you.”

He nodded his approval and I quickly explained how I thought it would be beneficial if he took Amari on a tour of the court, explaining history and geography. “If he decides to stay here, it will be good for him to know his way around and about where he is living. Plus, you two can get to know each other better. Friendships are very important for mental health as well as establishing good relations between courts, if he does decide to move elsewhere. It would be good for everyone.”

He seemed to contemplate this for a moment before he gave a stiff nod. “That is acceptable.”

“Great! Well, I suppose I should get going as I have more meetings today. Amari, it was so lovely talking to you. Thank you for your ideas and your company. Tamlin, would you please see us out?”

Tamlin gave another nod and lead us from the room. Once we were back in the foyer he paused, clearing his throat. “I appreciate your visit, and your candour in regards to my…unkempt state. There have not been many people around me these days and I spend most of my time in the woods, so no one has pointed out my shortcomings in the grooming department. I will aim to do better in the future as to not offend you with my stench, when you visit.” He cleared his throat then and offered me a ghost of a smile, “I would like for you to visit again. This place could use some brightness.”

Azriel’s hand tightened imperceptibly on mine and I only gave him a quick squeeze in return, hoping he wouldn’t say or do anything to put this small truce in jeopardy. “I’m sure your home would be stunning if you had a little help to restore it to it’s former glory, and some friendly faces to fill your table every once in a while. Have you considered asking for aid from the other courts? You are apart of the peace agreement and in that it does say assistance can be granted for things such as this. Perhaps it would be a nice way to foster closer relations with another court and get your home back in working order.”

He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, his eyes going to Azriel for just a moment before he shrugged. “I doubt anyone would want to help.”

“Would you like me to ask around for you?” I hedged. “I’m going to be visiting others, and I can mention you might be looking for help.”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Okay, you don’t have to decide now. I’m sure I’ll be visiting everyone in the coming weeks, so if you make a decision you can send word and I’ll ask on your behalf. You could also write to them if you think asking face to face is too awkward. Either way, we can figure it out later. Thank you for having us, Tamlin.”

As we left, passing by the ruins of his court and the land that had once been so full of life, my heart ached for Tamlin.

Fuck. Was I a Tamlin sympathizer?

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Twenty-Seven

Security

Chapter Summary: My first day as the Human Realm Emissary

I groaned as the wonderful taste of buttery, flakey croissant mixed with the richness of the chocolate hit my tongue. 

“This is better than sex,” I declared brightly, shoving the entire thing in my mouth. 

Cassian chuckled from across the table as he sipped his tea, his eyes going to Azriel who looked very unamused next to me. “Well, brother, I fear all those lessons I gave you didn’t stick if your female thinks a croissant is better than being bedded by you. Perhaps I should draw another diagram so you can actually find her-”

A pancake smothered in syrup smacked into the side of Cassian’s face before he could finish speaking, effectively shutting him up, and I looked over to see Azriel eating his breakfast with very clean hands. His shadows, however, looked oddly sticky feel as one wrapped around my throat and gave a firm squeeze. 

“You were too tired last night for me to remind you just how good I can make you scream,” Azriel said nonchalantly as he forked a bite of egg. “Perhaps I should demonstrate now, in front of everyone, how much those lessons paid off?”

My mouth went instantly dry and my cheeks heated. Cassian and Nesta exchanged sidelong glances as I stumbled over my thoughts, trying to figure out what exactly to say. Gods, how could he tie my insides up with just a few words? The room was clouded with the scent of my arousal, no doubt, all over him offering to fuck me in front of his friends. Hm, perhaps I did have an exhibitionist kink afterall. 

“And to think he got irritated with what we did in the dining room when no one else was even around,” Nesta smirked. “Sorry to break it to you Az, but Hailey has work to do today. As the official emissary of the human realm she’s to go and meet the other humans that have arrived here. You’ll have to save that for later.”

The shadow that was increasingly constricting my neck let go. “What?” he demanded. 

“You know, the job she agreed to do? She’s going to do it.”

“She only just agreed yesterday! We haven’t even talked about her safety or made the arrangements of where she is going and when. Surely there is more to discuss before we just send her off to talk to these strangers?”

“Okay, first off calm the fuck down,” Nesta rolled her eyes. “It’s not like we are shoving her down the stairs and saying go figure it out. Of course someone is going with her so she won’t be unprotected. As far as meeting strangers, they are humans from her realm and from what they’ve said, they want to talk to other humans. I doubt they are any danger to her. These are going to be preliminary meetings so she can get an idea of who they are. Once she’s met with them she can figure out where she wants to go from there. We discussed this last night and you did not protest.”

“I don’t remember this.”

“Perhaps it was when you were staring at her like you might eat her? Or perhaps when you were glaring at Eris for also staring at her like he might eat her?” Cassian suggested, shoving the entire pancake that had hit his into his mouth.

Azriel’s eyes narrowed. “Who will be going with her then? And where is she going?”

“We were going to have you accompany her, however decided against that since the two of you can’t go more than a few moments without filling the entire room with your scents. Rhys and Lucien will be escorting her today,” Cassian informed. 

Of course Azriel bristled at this, just as expected. “They’re human, who cares if our scents-”

“They will be in the presence of other fae,” I interjected, remembering the talks we had had while I was still sober the night before. “I don’t want to appear unprofessional in front of them or indicate that I am not taking this job seriously because I bring you along as my guard. Lucien was very adept at the dealings with the humans during the war, so he has experience. Rhys is High Lord of the Night Court and even if he has proved he is not as bad as they make him out to be, people are still terrified of him. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t see why you need Lucien to go,” he grumbled. “He isn’t even really apart of our court. It seems stupid to include him in-”

The doors to the balcony flew open and Rhys stepped inside in all his Night Court glory, his black velvet tunic lined with silver thread and his hair perfectly windswept as he tucked his wings behind him. I watched, mystified, as he folded his arms across his chest and raised one perfect brow. “Sorry, Azriel, did you just say my plan is stupid?”

A shit eating grin curved over Cassian’s mouth as he loudly chewed his pancake. “Sure did,” he nodded. 

Azriel cleared his throat. “That’s not what I meant.”

Rhys glared at him for a solid thirty seconds, long enough for Azriel to think he was serious, before he let his arms drop and a rumbling laughter escaped his throat. “Fuck, Az, of course we wouldn’t expect you to let her go without you. The two of us will be escorting her. When you are done with breakfast Kalias is expecting us.”

There was a beat of silence before Azriel let out a huff of angry air. “You planned this.”

“Sure did!” I chirped, snagging another croissant and wrapping it in a napkin to shove in the pocket of my oversized hoodie. “You’re so easy to rile up. Anyways, ready to go?”

He stood from the table and followed me over to where Rhys waited for us. As we stepped out onto the balcony and he wrapped his arms around me in preparation for the flight and winnowing, his lips brushed the curve of my ear and he whispered, “You are so lucky we haven’t had that conversation yet, the one about the consequences of what happens when you act like a little brat. Just know I’m keeping track of everything you do so once that conversation happens, your actions can be appropriately…dealt with.”

I shivered as he hauled me up into the sky and winnowed us to the Winter Court. 

Meeting the other humans was nothing like I expected. Well, at least not the first one.

It started off terrible when Kailias seemed unsure about anything other than their name; Becca. 

Apparently she had sequestered herself in a room not long after her arrival and refused to talk to anyone who looked remotely fae, citing that this was all a delusion and she refused to take part in it. That had been almost a month ago. 

Listening to Kailis’ debrief on the situation didn’t offer much help as she had been mostly uncooperative since her arrival, basically the opposite of how I had been. She even refused Viviane’s offer of friendship, shouting about how she wasn’t going to play into whatever was happening and to keep anyone with fangs or pointy ears away from her. 

I grimaced at hearing that. 

“She hasn’t spoken to you since?” I asked softly. 

“No,” Kailias groaned, running a hand down his face like a stressed out father. “She won’t even open the door unless it’s one of the lesser fae servants bringing her food.”

My eyes narrowed at ‘lesser far servants’ but I decided to pick my battles, at least for the time being. “Okay, I will try to talk to her then. Perhaps I can explain some of what’s going on and figure out a way to get her a little more acclimated.”

Viviane nodded eagerly. “We would be so grateful. Please, anything would be better than this.” She glanced towards Rhys and Azzie, a smile curving over her lips. “You two are lucky you got her. I see why you wanted her for the job.”

They started chatting as the housekeeper who had been bringing Becca her meals took me gently by the hand to escort me up stairs. Azriel’s gaze followed me, as did an extra shadow. I tried to hide me grin over just how protective he was. 

On the upper floor the small female knocked softly on the door and called, “Becca? It’s Carma. I told you yesterday we were arranging for you to have a visitor who might be able to explain some things to you. I brought her here, so if you could please unlock the door I’m sure she would appreciate a seat while you two sorted things out.”

There was silence from the other side of the door and with the things I had heard I was almost certain that it would remain so, however after a few moments the sound of the lock clicking echoed in the empty hallway and the door cracked open. A pair of narrowed blue eyes peered out of the crack and locked on me as she took me in. 

“Who are you?” she demanded, her voice raspy. 

“Hi!” I beamed, giving a wave. “My name is Hailey, I come from Earth which is where I presume you came from too. I lived in Chicago, actually. It sounds like your American? Anyways, I ended up here in Prythian too and since there’s more humans arriving the uhm, kinda government I guess? Well anyways they thought it would be nice to have someone in charge of what to do with human arrivals. So, that’s me! Can I come in? The hallway is cold.”

She stared at me for a few moments before she finally sighed and opened the door. I quickly stepped inside before she changed her mind and took a look around. 

The furnishings of the Winter Court Palace were much different than the Night Court. It honestly felt like I had stepped into the Frozen movie and this was the castle of Arrendelle. Plush rugs coated all the hard stone floors and giant fireplaces were a fixture in every room. The one in Becca’s room raged behind the grate filling the large space with much needed warmth. A giant couch with a blanket sat by the fire and I gestured towards it. “Shall we?”

She sighed and nodded. Together we made our way over, curling on opposite ends of the couch. All of my practiced ideas on what to say and how to talk to her escaped my head when she looked me dead in the eye and said, “This is all a fucking joke, right?”

“Uhm, no. Sorry, what?”

“This is a joke. Like someone kidnapped me and dressed up like fairies or whatever to play a joke on me, and now you’re here to really drive it home, right? Like they make me sit here for who knows how long thinking this is a dream, then just long enough to think maybe it’s real, only to bring in a ‘human’ to be like haha it is real you should believe all of it, and when I do Ashton Kutcher is going to pop out saying I’ve been punked.”

Alright, she had a point there. 

“Okay, first of love the use of imagination with that one, Becca. However you have to admit this would be pretty elaborate just for a joke, right? Like the ears, the magic? You’ve seen magic right? It’s all a little too real for you to fully believe this is a joke, right?”

She shifted uncomfortably, tucking back her perfectly blond hair that was now turning brown at the roots with her very outgrown manicured fingernail. “Well, when you put it that way…”

“Right. So, let’s say for a moment yes you are somehow in this weird magic world. What’s the last thing you remember about being in your world? What were you doing?”

“I was in my home gym,” she informed slowly. “My pilates instructor had just left, and I was taking selfies in the mirror. I tripped over my ankle weights and the next thing I knew I was face down in the snow.”

Home gym. Pilates instructor. Okayyyy we obviously lived very different lives. I nodded encouragingly and quickly told her how I had been on my way to work and fallen through a mirror. “I haven’t talked to the others yet but this seems like a theme. Obviously something weird happened, and now we are here. Tell me, Becca, do you ever read?”

“No.”

“Right. Okay. I assume you have social media? Tiktok? Have you ever heard of the book series a Court of Thorns and Roses?”

She rolled her perfect blue eyes dramatically. “Of course I have.”

Great, so we had a basis. I spent the next hour or so explaining the jist of the books and also what I had been doing since arriving. With every sentence she seemed to stare at me with even more disbelief, so I switched to offering to answer any of her questions. Most of them turned out to be how she could go home and if I was being serious. It was nothing how I had imagined the talk going as I had hoped we would talk about how to make her adjustment more comfortable, not convince her this was real. 

It wasn’t until there was a knock on the door and I convinced her to open it did she show any real interest in what was going on. 

Azriel stepped into the room along with Carma, his wings folded tight behind him and his shadows nowhere to be seen aside the one that was wrapped around my wrist like a shackle. His eyes instantly found mine and scanned over me, checking to make sure I was okay, before he turned to her. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting. I wanted to check on you since the two of you have been in here for close to two hours now.”

Hearing the underlying intention in his words I grinned. He was worried about me. Holding out a hand to him I smiled when he immediately stepped forward to take it. “We’re alright, honey. Thank you for coming to check. Becca, this is Azriel, one of the members of the Night Court. Azzie, this is Becca.”

I turned to her then, expecting to see her reproach as she seemed completely put off by the idea of fae, however her eyes were suddenly very bright and filled with interest. 

“Hi,” she smiled for the first time since I had met her, showing all her perfect white teeth and the cute dimples in her cheeks. “It’s so nice to meet you, Azriel. I didn’t realize the fae were as handsome as you are. If I had known that maybe I wouldn’t have hidden in this room the entire time.”

I blinked. 

What. The. Fuck. 

Azriel cleared his throat and offered her a small smile while taking a step closer to me. “That’s very kind of you. How are things going? Are you perhaps interested in talking to Kailias about your arrangement here, or if you would like to move to another court? I understand you have been complaining about the cold-”

“You live in the Night Court, right?” she interrupted. “I would love to move there. Hallie said that she lives in a house with you and some others. I’m sure there’s extra room for me too, right? It would be best to keep all the humans in one place so we can like, bond or whatever.”

“Well, that would be something that can be discussed. I think today was supposed to be more of a preliminary meeting so Hailey can get to know everyone and see what would best suit the needs of all of you.”

Becca waved off his words with a flick of her elegant wrist. “It doesn’t really matter what everyone else wants. We are individuals and we want individual things, so why can’t you just accommodate everyone’s specific request? Mine being to come like with you. And Hallie!” she tacked on at the end with a grin, never looking my way. 

Oh. Fuck. No. 

I opened my mouth ready to say something when Azriel’s arm draped possessively over my shoulder, his shadows suddenly swirling around the two of us. “Her name is Hailey not Hallie, which you will do well to remember as she will be your liaison for all your issues and needs. Anything you need will be reviewed and approved by her, not me, so I think the person you should be smiling and twirling your hair at should be her, don’t you?”

Satisfaction flooded through me as the smile slid off her face, her eyes locked on the shadows that were spilling out from him with every word. The room grew considerably colder, darker, and I noted the way his tone was bordering on dangerous. The faint color that had entered Becca’s cheeks when Azriel had entered the room slid right back out leaving her looking pale and altogether frightened. 

“Azzie,” I reprimanded, placing a hand on his abdomen to give him a familiar little pat. “Don’t frighten the poor girl.”

He only shrugged, turning towards me. “We have another appointment, baby girl.”

Well fuck I could just melt from the way he says that. Standing, I offered a smile to Becca even though I just wanted to claw her pretty eyes out. “I’m sorry to cut this short. There are other humans waiting on my visit today, so we will have to pick this up again another day. Perhaps when I have a better idea of what everyone else wants I’ll be better prepared with a plan for you. Have a nice day, Becca.”

Without another word I turned for the door and smiled when Azriel’s hand drifted down to rest possessively on my hip. For once in my life I didn’t doubt that affection a man had for me.

[thoughts-with-hailey]

Chapter Twenty-Six - My Life in Prythian

Reminisce

Chapter Summary: At the Peace Ball Azriel remembers what led to his anger towards Eris, and his eventual forgiveness.

Azriel

It shouldn’t surprise me that she fell asleep in the middle of a party surrounded by loud music and even louder voices. If there was one thing I knew about my little human it was that when she was truly tired, she could sleep anywhere and through anything, which was definitely a growing concern with her uncanny ability to get herself into trouble. 

My eyes moved to where her legs rested over Eris’ lap and the way his hand was wrapped possessively around her bare ankle. Like I said; trouble. 

The idea of any other males hands on her ignited me with rage, just imagining it making me want to murder whoever those hands belonged to, and yet when Eris had mentioned her being worshipped by two males at once it was impossible not to be intrigued at the picture he painted. There was little doubt in my mind she would enjoy herself in such a situation and there was even less doubt who would be that other male in the equation; I had sensed it the moment he had locked eyes on her. 

The chemistry between the two was unmistakable for anyone looking on and with my extra senses it had become clear within seconds what they were to each other. The fact that he hadn’t mentioned it was the only thing keeping me sane, though his hand on her bare ankle was testing the limits of that. She was mine. I had already lost enough in my life; she was not going to be another name added to that long list. I would fight tooth and nail to keep her, give her anything, even if it meant sharing her. Either way, I wasn’t giving her up. 

They both would just have to deal with it. 

Of course, Eris might not see sharing her as dealing with it. Cauldron knew his sexual preferences were even more open than mine were even if he kept them hidden from his people and more importantly his father. The idea of sharing a female, or even a few, wasn’t something he would blink an eye at. He loved pleasure, as I well knew, and would seek it with anyone in any way as long as it wouldn’t come back to tarnish his reputation later. I could not blame him for this and I didn’t; I did blame him for leaving the morning after without so much as a note, though. 

Absently I stroked my fingers down the soft curve of Hailey’s cheek as thoughts of that ill fated night came back to me. 

It had been before everything, before Amarantha and the mountain, before Feyre and even before Mor. Things had been simpler back then, which was why at the time I couldn’t understand why he had walked away without a word like he had. The instant connection we had felt in that crowded bar had been intoxicating, and had every touch and kiss that had followed. Whispered affections and soft caresses were something I had never known while fucking as I had always looked at it as a release. That night, tucked in a little room at a backwater inn where no one had recognized the spymaster of the night court and one of the sons of the High Lord of Autumn, Eris had shown me otherwise. We had spent hours in each others arms sharing those sweet kisses and gentle touches, the laughter as we fumbled around together and the way we had clung to each other as we fell asleep. It had been like nothing I had ever had before it. 

And when I had woken up in the morning, he was gone. There had been no note, no indication that he had even been there other than the smell of his skin on mine. If it hadn’t been for that one bit of evidence I would’ve thought that it had all been a dream. 

I had considered seeking him out, asking him why he had run, but pride had held me back. Not long after that the situation with Mor had occurred and the anger and resentment I felt over being left behind after such a beautiful night together had morphed into pure hatred. 

Since then things had…mellowed. 

When the alliance had been forged between the Night Court and Eris it had been difficult to be around him with my lingering resentment. The incident at the High Lord’s meeting was evidence of that. While most people thought I attacked him purely over defending Mor, but in reality it was so much more than that. Years of pent up anger had manifested in that room and for a moment I had lost my grip on my control. Thankfully the following week he had shown up at my door with an apology. 

Armed with a full explanation of his father’s expectations, the laws of his court, and his hopes for it’s future, he had laid it all out for me. Consorting with males was his business to do as he saw fit as long as nothing came of it, for the sake of his court. In the morning he had woken before me, realized the slippery slope of feelings we had been on, and had left before he could risk anymore of himself to me, to us. 

As much as I hated that he did it, I understood. I would do anything for my court, too, and if I had been in that situation I had little doubt I would act any different. We were not mates and his court needed him. I might not want to forgive him, but I could understand. 

Just like he was going to have to understand that his mate belonged to me. 

“I think it’s time we go home,” Rhys announced, rising from his cushion around the circle. He reached down and helped his mate to her feet, that loving smile plastered to his lips as it always seemed to be when he looked at her. 

Cassian looked up from where he was in the middle of a game of marbles with one of the servers who had since abandoned their tray of drinks to join the party. “Aw come on, five more minutes!” he pleaded. “I’m about to win.”

Rhys shot him an exasperated look, per usual, and I grinned as Feyre rolled her eyes. “Cassian, if you want to stay you have to fly home. Everyone else is ready to go.”

A sullen looked crossed his face as he turned to bid goodbye to his new friend, then shoved to his feet. Following suit I gently eased Hailey’s head off my lap so I could stand, then scooped her sleeping form into my arms. 

Eris’ eyes lingered on her as he stood, his expression unreadable yet a glimmer of something in those amber irises of his telling me he wasn’t as unmoved as he always pretended to be. “Are you sure you can get her home?” he murmured. “She seems rather tired. You are welcome to stay here for the night if you think she will be more comfortable.”

“It’s fine, she’ll sleep through the journey I am sure, though the offer is appreciated.”

He nodded once, his eyes still locked on her, before turning and heading into his castle. 

As predicted she slept the entire way home with her head nestled under my shin and her fingers wrapped up in my shirt. Remembering how much drink she had ingested right before her nap I was doubtful she would wake up any time soon, so once we were in the privacy of our bedroom I carefully removed her dress so she would sleep comfortably. She had other ideas, apparently. Her limbs were leadened with sleep and wine, and every time I tried to tug the fabric off of her she would scowl or sigh as if I were committing some great offense. A few grumbled, “Just let me sleep,”’s later I finally had the damn thing off of her. 

The shift underneath served well enough for a nightdress so I didn’t bother with that, thanking the Cauldron she didn’t have on anything ridiculous like a corset that I would have to figure out how to remove, though one look at her elaborately braided hair had me sighing. If she slept like that she would wake with a headache and then it would be everyone’s problem. 

I stripped out of my own clothing and slid into bed next to her before I undertook the task of finding all the pins and unraveling her hair, which was a lot for some fucking reason. By the time I finally laid down and she curled her soft body against mine, I had to wonder what it would be like to have two of us taking care of her instead of one. 

She was a handful to be sure, and in all honesty I wouldn’t mind a second pair of them to help out.

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life In Prythian - Chapter Twenty Five

Build Up

Summary: azzie is feeling a little handsy, The Thigh Lord of the day Court makes a reappearance, and everyone is acting a lil sus tbh

Azriel’s grip on my arm was painfully tight as he dragged me away from Eris and while I did not fight him, I felt a reluctance to leave my new friend. 

I was under no delusion that Eris was actually my friend. All of that had to be just him wanting to be near Azriel, right? Or mess with the little human’s head. Either way it didn’t matter because there was something about him that was drawing me in, demanding I turn around and run back to him to try to rid his handsome face of that sad look he always seemed to carry even though I knew it was impossible. 

And then there was the other part of me that was begging to be hauled into a dark corner so Azriel could shove me against a wall and fuck me within an inch of my life. 

“Fuck!” he growled, his pace quickening to the point I nearly had to run to keep up with him. “You’re fucking killing me, baby girl.”

My heart leapt at his words, at the endearment, and it was when I turned to look at him that I noticed we weren’t heading for the rest of the party. He had dragged me onto a path that veered off towards the castle, away from the festivities and towards…a dark corner. 

Oh fuck. 

His nostrils flared and his eyes snapped to me as Clittia throbbed angrily, demanding to be taken care of, and there was no mistake that he could smell the spike in my arousal. 

I wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about that. 

A few long strides later he had me away from the prying eyes of the party and caged between his impressive muscle mass and the cold stone wall of the outer castle. My heart leapt to my throat as he leaned down, trailing his nose over the side of my neck on a long inhale. I felt his hands grab my waist as he pressed into me,the hard outline of his erection making it known just where his head was at. 

“You smell so fucking good,” he groaned, thrusting his hips against me as the normal tight leash on his control seemed to slip. “You drive me insane with your sly little smiles and your cunning mind. Every day it’s a test to see if I can figure out what you’re thinking and what you’re next move is, and I am never right. It’s maddening and arousing all at once.”

Heat flooded my system at his words, at his possessive touch. Knowing an entire party of fae with keen ears and even keener senses were only steps away had my blood pounding in my ears even as I felt myself grow damp between my legs. Fuck, Azriel had perfect command over my body and my need for him with little more than a few words and simple touches. It was everything I had ever wanted, dreamed of, and every minute I worried it would slip through my fingers. 

Not one to say no to an opportunity to touch him while I could I reached up to twine my fingers in his hair, pressing my body as close to his as I could. “Az, you can’t keep saying shit like this to me and not fuck me. Between your threats during the game and the shadows you stuffed in my mouth, I’m barely keeping it together.”

He chuckled darkly against my neck as he brushed feather light kisses over my heated skin. “You’re barely keeping it together? It’s been six hours since you came on my fingers, seven since you came on my tongue, and nearly twenty-four since you came on my cock. I’m fucking dying without the feel of you wrapped around me.”

“And I haven’t even cum on your shadows at all,” I sighed dramatically. 

Said shadows, that were dancing around his shoulders and brushing against my wrists as I twisted his hair around my fingers, froze. 

I still didn’t know if those shadows were sentient or not as he had yet to answer that question, however the way he had stuffed them in my mouth gave me high hopes he wouldn’t mind stuffing them elsewhere. 

“What?” Azriel said, sounding a bit strangled. 

“Mmmm,” I grinned, pleased that I seemed to have shocked him. “We haven’t had that fun little talk yet about our limits and what we like so I haven’t been able to tell you how often I’ve thought about your little shadows here stuffing me so full I can’t move. Or how I’ve wondered if they can turn into tentacles with little suction cups to latch onto my clit while they work both my holes at once. Gods, I haven’t even begin to tell you how I want-”

My words cut off as my air supply did, my mouth once more stuffed with the strange cool yet solid mass of his shadows that nudged at the back of my throat and puffed out my cheeks. 

Azriel pulled back from me, his eyes shining with need in the torchlight. The strain in his face, evidence of how much he was holding himself back, would be commercial if I didn’t want him to let go so badly.

Only it wasn’t the time or place. 

“You, little demon, are testing every ounce of self control I have. I am certain that if I hauled your cute ass inside and ravished you on one of the many beds I’m sure this castle has, Beron and the rest of our hosts would be very displeased.” His nostrils flared again, indicating he knew exactly how much I wanted just that, but he shook his head. “I can’t fuck you here, however I fully expect you will need a healer in the morning. Now behave for the remainder of the night and I might consider this tentacle business you speak of.”

And then he released me. 

The sudden absence of his heat and his shadows left me bereft even as he smirked from several paces away. I opened my mouth to whine at him, honestly ready to beg, only to remember what he had just said; I might get tentacle play if I behaved. 

I was going to be the most well behaved person at the party. 

I gulped down another mouthful of fae wine while propped up on my elbow among the array of cushions scattered about, my bleary eyes locked on the starlit sky and a thick blanket draped around me to ward off the chill. 

All pretenses of staying sober for the night had vanished once I had met everyone I needed to and they had all given their approval of the proposed position Feyre was so hopeful I was going to take. Once Beron had disappeared inside, irritated he wasn’t the center of attention anymore, the real party had started along with the barrels of fae wine being consumed. 

“It’s so fucking beautiful,” I said for the nth time, looking over at Feyre who was sprawled out next to me with her own goblet and blanket. 

“It is!” she laughed with a carefree joy that had my heart swelling with happiness. She deserved all the pretty things because she was just so pretty. “This is a wonderful night. I am pleased with the results of the peace ball.”

“I’d like a piece of Azriel’s balls in my mouth,” I grinned. 

We both erupted into a fit of giggles at that, leaning towards each other to grab hands and laughing at probably the funniest thing to be said in the history of Prythian. 

“You two are ridiculous,” Nesta chimed in, her own speech slurred and her cheeks tinged pink from the cold and the wine. “I’d much rather his cock in my mouth than his balls. Eyes on the prize ladies.”

“It is an impressive cock,” I nodded seriously. “The best I’ve ever had.”

“You lucky bitch,” Nesta grinned. “Cassian’s is impressive of course, but Azriel has to be packing with that wingspan of his.”

I only smirked at her which lead to her rolling her eyes and Feyre giggling even louder. Through my drunken haze I remembered I’d been meaning to ask them both something. “Wait, is the whole thing true about there being a spot on their wings that will instantly make them cum?”

A very serious look settled over both of their faces then and even in my sloshed state I knew I was about to have a life altering discussion. Before either of them could speak a large form plopped down on the cushions beside me and plucked the wine goblet from my hands. 

 “I believe I told you to behave?” he murmured. “I don’t think trying to get Illyrian secrets out of our high lady is behaving.”

Turning I was about to sass him when a large form dropped down next to me. 

“There you are,” a familiar voice purred. 

I turned to see the Thigh Lord of the Day Court grinning like the cheshire cat as his eyes darted between Azriel and I. “This explains a lot,” he chuckled. “It’s ashame we never got to uh, finish, what we started in Rita’s that night, though I am pleased to know you finished at some point. Even if it wasn’t with me.”

My cheeks heated thinking about that night in Rita’s. I had been so focused on what I couldn’t remember about that night and everything with Mor that I had nearly forgotten about Helion. Or more importantly I had forgotten how I had nearly cum on his perfect thigh before Azriel had pulled me off of him. 

Azriel’s arms tightened around me and a low rumble started in his chest, a warning growl as he seemed to be staking claim on his territory. “Back off, Helion.”

Helion’s smile only widened. “No need to be territorial, Azriel. I’m sure there is plenty enough to share, if she is so inclined. Tell me darling, have you ever enjoyed two males lavishing you with attention at once?”

I blinked, immediately intrigued by this idea, and opened my mouth to reply when I got interrupted by yet another body dropping down on my cushion nest. 

Eris wedged himself between Helion and I, his face stoic and yet irritated at the same time. “Enough, Helion.”

Helion’s nostrils flared and his eyes sparked in interest as he looked between Eris, Azriel, and I, then he nodded slowly. “I see. Nevermind then. I’m not getting in the middle of whatever this is. Hailey, my sweet, it was lovely to see you again. Enjoy your evening.”

Across the pile of cushions I heard Nesta and Feyre’s giggling. Choosing to ignore them I leaned over, sprawling out across the laps of both Azriel and Eris. With my head on Azriel’s thigh and my legs draped over Eris’ I decided I had enough thighs between the two of them to not need the ones that had left. “You two are so warm,” I sighed, wiggling closer to both in an attempt to steal body heat. 

Despite barely knowing Eris and Azriel’s obvious irritation over me trying to befriend him, I couldn’t help myself; there was something about him that was drawing me in. As Azriel’s hands tangled in the ends of my hair Eris’ rested lightly on my legs as he asked, “Have you considered two males at once?”

A hush fell over the group and I knew they were all listening to what should probably be a private conversation. Apparently that many fae wines had me with a bit of a loose tongue as I just grinned over at the redhaired male. “Eris, dearest, I read way too many reverse harem books to have not considered how wonderful it would be to be on the receiving end of two people’s attention, or even three or four.”

His eyes heated and flickered up to Azriel’s for a second before flashing back to mine. “Perhaps that’s something you and Azriel might discuss. It seems there are many males in Prythian that would love the privilege of sharing your bed.”

I only smiled, sitting up to snatch the goblet of fae wine back from Azzie. Before he could take it back I chugged the remaining contents and then curled back up in his lap, letting myself fall into an easy sleep. 

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Twenty-Four

Drinking Games - Eris POV

Summary: there are games and we are drinking

Eris

Her hand was in mine. 

She was willingly touching me. 

Her scent was surrounding me. 

Gods, she was so fucking perfect. 

Her delicate fingers gripped mine with surprising strength, weaving in between the spaces of my fingers that I had never considered empty until hers filled them. Her other hand had come up to grip my bicep, holding me close to her as we leisurely walked the well lit paths around the party, and I swore it was the most intimate way I had ever been touched in my life. 

Oh, I had been touched and had touched in return. Many nights I spent between the thighs of a willing partner, or them between mine, and not a single encounter could compare to the simple way her innocent touch ignited everything in me. It took only seconds for her to hold me like I was her dearest friend and when I had waved my free hand to light the rest of the torches lining an unused path she had turned her radiant smile up to me like I had not just insulted her multiple times over. 

“It’s truly wonderful here! I love seeing all of you do your little tricks,” she beamed up at me, clearly pleased with my small display of magic. A content sigh escaped her lips and she leaned in closer as if she was trying to draw heat from me as a cool breeze whisked past us. Behind us I could feel the lingering gaze of Azriel, Azzie, and tried to block him out so I could enjoy these few precious moments with her. 

“It’s very different from the Night Court.”

“It is,” she agreed softly, turning her head to look around once more. “I like the Night Court, or that I have seen of it, is beautiful. Velaris is one of the most stunning cities I have ever seen, and yet it does not compare to this.”

“This?” I asked, not sure I was hearing her properly. 

Looking around I tried to see it through her eyes, taking in the array of perpetually color changing trees and the crunchy leaves beneath them, the crisp scent of autumn that clung to everything all year round, and the chilled air. It was the same views I had spent my life with aside the rare times Beron sent me on missions elsewhere and though I loved my court, it was nothing compared to the wondrous starlit sky of the Night Court. At least there they had different seasons that would change the monotony of day to day life. Living in forever autumn made every day, week, month, year, every fucking decade feel the same with nothing to break up time passing. Each day was as boring and tortuous as the last. 

“All of this!” she exclaimed, releasing her grip on my arm to gesture around and I instantly felt the loss of her touch. I opened my mouth ready to beg her to give me back that small pleasure but she did so before I could, her grip even tighter before as her face lit with excitement. “Fall has always been my favorite, Eris. The colors are richer and the air is earthier, everything just feeling cozy and perfect. Sweaters by the fire, crunchy leaves underfoot, apple flavored treats and savory squash dishes! There is nothing like fall, and it’s always too short in the human world. I get maybe two weeks of it, if that, between the end of summer heat and the snow coming in. I’ve always wished I could live somewhere that’s like this all year round.”

I blinked, unsure I was hearing her properly. She truly loved this? I mean…I suppose if you’re human and only get weeks of this a year for the meager amount of time a human exists I can understand why it would be wonderful to see, still… Her loving it, her wishing she could have this year round? The cauldron must have known when it chose her as my mate, giving me someone who wouldn’t mind the constant state of the weather. As much as I adore my mother, she hates the forever autumn even more than I do, constantly complaining that she wants the warmth of summer. Having a Lady Autumn who loves her land would be a nice change for our people. 

Of course, I was getting ahead of myself. She could not be Lady Autumn if she was tied to someone else and by the possessive way Azzie was hovering behind us I had little doubt in my mind that he had laid full claim to this female. 

I tried to hold back my sigh at that. My mate and Azriel? Fucking ironic really considering the years of tension between the shadow singer and I that I had avoided acting on specifically because of how complicated it would make my life, and now there I was walking arm in arm with my mate who was claimed by that same male. 

I had the worst luck. 

Truly. 

“I think we should play a game,” Hailey suggested absently, tugging me slightly to the right so she could step her slippered foot on a particularly crunchy leaf, then grinning to herself when the sounds of it under her foot filled the air. 

Fuck she was cute. 

“A game?” I asked, tugging her towards the left to do the same and my heart warming when her grin spread wider. 

“Mhm. It’ll be fun. We go back and forth asking questions, and we have to answer honestly. If you don’t want to answer a question then you have to drink and you forfeit your right to ask a question.”

“How will we know if the other person is answering honestly?”

She shrugged. “You have to trust each other.”

Interesting. Obviously I did not trust she would give honest answers and I did not like that I would not know what she would ask, however this might be a perfect way to get information out of her, get to know her. “We will need wine.”

“Azzie!” she chirped, turning to him with big eyes and a bigger smile. “My sweet, sweet Azzie, can you fetch some wine and three glasses?”

His eyes narrowed on her. “Three?”

“You’re playing too, aren’t you?” she batted her eye lashes. 

Those eyes narrowed even further and he looked between the two of us for a moment before he sighed. “You stay right here where I can see you. I’ll be back in a moment.” The warning in his voice was clear, evident that he didn’t trust me alone with her, and I gave him an eye roll. There was little I could do to harm her considering were were a dozen yards from the rest of the gathering. Not to mention that I would never lay a hand on who was going to be my savior. He didn’t need to know that last part though. 

The nearest servants were within eyesight so he would be back soon even if he was out of earshot for a moment. Though, with those shadows of his I wasn’t sure if he was ever truly out of earshot. I glanced down and eyed my pretty mate. “I am shocked he let’s you call him Azzie.”

“I have a feeling I’ll pay for it later,” she laughed, looking all too pleased about that prospect. 

I tried not to imagine what that meant. 

Moments later Azriel returned with two bottles and three glasses, his expression as somber as ever. Wordlessly he turned towards a well lit gazebo that was in view of the party yet secluded enough that we wouldn’t be bothered by the main event unless someone truly wanted to speak with us. There were cushions on the ground and a small warming lamp in the middle making it the perfect place to have whatever game this was. We all took our seats and Azriel poured three generous glasses of wine before turning his ever watchful gaze to Hailey. 

“Since you know this game you start first.”

“Great!” she clapped her hands together, looking between us with a calculating expression. “Okay, I’ll start with you Eris; what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever put your cock in?”

I stared at her. 

Next to her Azriel closed his eyes for a brief moment before he lifted his glass and took a long drink, only for her hand to lash out and grab him by the throat, heedless of his shadows. “No! Don’t you dare fucking swallow that! You can only drink when it’s your turn, and I asked Eris not you, so that’s against the rules!”

 Azriel looked down at her, eyebrow raised in a silent question of what to do with his mouthful of wine. I watched in rapt amusement as they glared at each other, both seemingly irritated and amused at the same time. I had never seen Azriel look so playful, so relaxed, and was pleased to see there was an actual person under his cool demeanor. 

Wordlessly Hailey leaned closer to him, her hand still locked around his throat, and opened her lips in invitation. Azriel gave a huff of amusement before leaning forward and sealing his lips to hers, the wine he was apparently not allowed to drink pouring from his lips to hers. 

My body heated a few degrees as I watched her throat work, swallowing down the wine as a small trickle escaped the corner of her mouth to slide down her cheek. Fuck if that wasn’t hot as my own fire and I desperately wished it was me pouring that wine into her mouth, or drinking it from his. Either would do. 

Once she was satisfied she got all the wine from him she released his throat and turned back to me with an expectant look. “Well?”

I cleared my throat, trying to push down the arousal filling me before Azriel could smell it, and tried to think. The answer wasn’t exactly pleasant, but I did agree to this game and I did want to ask her questions so I sighed and answered honestly. “Uhm, I suppose the weirdest thing I ever did that to was a pumpkin. My brother, Lucien, carved one to look like his girlfriend for our annual pumpkin carving contest and when he turned around to fetch a different knife I carved a hole in the mouth area and…well…”

Her eyes widened comically large as she stared at me for a moment and I was certain she was about to stand up to leave, disgusted by this. Instead a peal of laughter erupted from her mouth and she reached out to pat my knee. “That’s fucking amazing. I’m definitely bringing that up next time I see him. Okay, your turn then.”

Relieved by her reaction I relaxed slightly, trying to think of something I wanted to know about her. Well, I wanted to know everything. There wasn’t anything about her I didn’t want to know, only I had to pick one question to start. “Okay, Hailey. If you had to eat one food every day for the rest of your life what would it be?”

“Chocolate croissants,” her and Azriel both answered at the same time, which caused her to roll her eyes at him obviously sharing some inside joke. 

Making a mental note of this answer for the future I nod, waiting for her next question. She turned to Azriel, who immediately tensed at her too sweet smile, and she asked, “Are your shadows individually sentient, or are they just an extension of you?”

Ah, clever. Certain that many people wondered this as a shadow slinger was so incredibly rare and not much recorded about them in any texts, that answer was one only a shadow slinger themself could answer. Of course Azriel looked from her to me, then reached for his wine glass. Hailey scowled but did not stop him from drinking, only looking back towards me. “My turn again,” she declared. “Eris, who do you think the most handsome high lord is?”

“Helion,” I responded without thought. 

“Like mother like son,” she laughed. 

I frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

“Is that your question?” she raised a brow. 

I paused, debating that. While I did want to know what that meant I was sure I could just ask mother about it later, and I didn’t want to waste my chances to ask them both questions. It was rare to see Azriel so unguarded, let alone playful, and I needed to take advantage of that while I could. So I shook my head and looked over at him. “Azzie, what does Hailey taste like?”

Hailey’s jaw dropped open as Azriel’s nostrils flared, shadows swirling angrily around him. By the glint in his eye I knew I had overstepped and yet he didn’t reach for his glass. Instead he asked, “Which part of her?”

“Her lips.”

“Which ones?”

Hailey clapped a hand over her mouth as a snort echoed from her, and even I grinned a little. As angry as he looked Azriel was amused. If he wasn’t he would already be drinking. Swirling my own glass I shrugged. “Her mouth I suppose.”

“Like sunshine and a hint of chocolate.”

I looked over at her to see her eyes bouncing back and fourth between us, clearly surprised and yet there was a hint of interest in her look. Azriel, seeming now very interested in this game, leaned forward to ask, “Hailey, who do you think has the better hair between me and Eris?”

“Eris, obviously,” she shrugged, turning towards me to grab a strand in her hand. “I’m a sucker for a male with long hair. Eris, do you prefer giving or receiving?”

“I think there is merit in both. Hailey, if you had to pick one high lord to fuck who would it be?”

“Helion for sure. Azzie, have you ever kissed Rhys?”

“No. Eris, have you ever kissed a high lord?”

And so the questions went on, back and forth in rapid fire each of us asking silly questions about each other, Hailey throwing in casual questions about Azriel’s shadows every once in while making him taking drinks of wine as he refused to answer any about them. I watched as his eyes grew slightly glazed, clearly enjoying the very strong Autumn Berry Wine that was a specialty of our court, until Hailey finally turned to Azriel and asked, “Azriel what does Eris taste like?”

“Cinnamon and apples,” Azriel replied, his words slightly slurred. 

Then his eyes widened. 

Fuck. 

A gleeful grin spread over Hailey’s face. “I knew it!” she shouted, bouncing up and down on her cushion. “You two kissed! Did you do more? Were you guys together? For how long? Why aren’t you together now? How are-”

Her excited tones, growing louder and louder with each question, were suddenly cut off as Azriel’s shadows stuffed her mouth full. “Enough, little liar,” he hissed, true anger in his slightly drunken gaze. “You’re fucking clever, asking me questions you knew I didn’t want to answer so I would answer that one without thinking. I should’ve known you were up to something.”

Despite her mouth being full of shadows she still tried to talk around them, something I was almost certain sounded like “I’m always up to something.”

Another one of his shadows stroked down her face, causing her cheeks to heat, as he murmured, “You are very, very lucky we did not have time before we came here to discuss punishments for acting like a brat. Otherwise when we got home I’d be using this pretty little mouth of yours until I was satisfied and then sending you to bed all hot and needy.”

Fuck. Those words followed by her soft whimper and the air suddenly saturated with the sweet scent of her arousal was enough to make me instantly hard. Before I could even contemplate how to process all of this Azriel stood, pulling her to her feet with him, and said, “It’s time we returned to the party. I am sure Rhys is wondering where we have gone.”

I didn’t even have time to rise to my feet before Azriel was practically hauling her across the lawn towards the main party, taking a part of my heart along with them. 

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Twenty Three

Mischief

Summary: at the peace ball in the autumn court I am enjoying all the new friends and of course plotting some mischief

After the little incident upon arrival things got way, way better. 

Azriel took the roll of a possessive boyfriend with the way he herded me through the crowd after Beron’s words and I fought down my agitation over it. After being single for so long I was accustomed to taking care of myself so I had to remind myself that this gorgeous, strong male wasn’t insulting me by protecting me, he was just doing what was in his nature; guarding what was his. 

And apparently I was his. 

A thrill shot through me at that along with the doubt and I had about five seconds to squash all these feelings to focus on being happy. I was at a mother fucking fae ball; I was going to enjoy myself. 

Feyre and Rhys took it upon themselves to introduce me to the other high lords and lady, as it seemed Kallias had made Viviane High Lady of the Winter Court not long after the wars had ended. All of them looked pleased, if not down right eager, to meet me. They seemed excited by my presence and indicated that the humans that had landed in their realms were not so happy to be there nor did they have any knowledge about the world in general, so for them to meet me who knew more than I should and was more than pleased to have escaped my own world for theirs was apparently intriguing for them. 

While they questioned me about things in my world and what I knew along with how I was adapting to theirs, as well if I had any ideas to help the other humans adapt as well, Azriel stood guard behind me. 

He never interfered in any of their questions or interrupted with his own thoughts, just stood behind me like a solid wall of moral support. Along our journey through the guests he supplied me with glasses of wine to sip, a sparkling juice when he noted I didn’t want much of the wine, and some of the snacks that were going around on trays. Every once in a while he would place is hand at the small of my back to steer me around someone or brush his knuckles down my arm almost as if to reassure himself I was still there, and every small gesture nearly brought me to my knees. 

Once I had met everyone Feyre and Rhys went off to greet some others leaving me to Azriel as Cassian and Nesta had already disappeared somewhere. Azriel looped an arm around my waist to guide me towards one of the empty tables off to the side of the dance floor and seemed content to stand in silence as I absorbed everything going on around me. 

To say the experience was breathtaking would be an understatement. 

With the sun having almost fully set the warm glow around the party, accompanied by the lanterns giving off their own amber hues, everything truly looked magical. People danced and laughed and talked, all seeming so joyous. And in the midst of it all? I felt wanted. 

For the first time in my life I was in a room, or rather an outdoor space, where I was wanted. People wanted to meet me, my friends were pleased I was there, and Azriel….

Warmth bloomed in my chest. Perhaps I had finally found where I belonged. Perhaps taking the position as the human world emissary would be a good thing and I could truly start an entire new life in Prythian. Was it so crazy to hope that all of it would work out?

Elain’s words rebounded in my head once more threatening my happy thoughts. 

“Hey,” Azriel’s deep voice was gentle in my ear as his shadows slid around my shoulders, tugging my chin to look up at him. I met his normally blank gaze that was now filled with concern and confusion. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” I nodded in response, forcing those thoughts from my head and looping my arms around his waist. Taking a step closer so our bodies were brushing put me at a height disadvantage, so I tilted my head back so I could still look at his ridiculously handsome face. “I was just thinking is all.”

“You’re always thinking,” he murmured, a faint grin curling over his lips as he trail a finger down my cheek. “I wonder what it’s like in this brain of yours.”

“Loud,” I grinned. “There’s never a dull moment inside, I’ll tell you that.”

“Rhys would probably go mad in minutes if he decided to access your thoughts again.”

My grin widened as I slid my hands lower, blatantly grabbing his muscular ass without a care who could see us. “I’m sure he would be horrified of all the things I’ve been thinking about letting you do to me. He would need to bleach his eyes after.”

Azriel’s eyes heated and he let out a soft groan, obviously keen to get back to the topic we had agreed to discuss after the ball. Both of us had casually hinted at the freaky things we wanted, never diving too deep into the topic just yet all the while promising each other what I hoped were truly heinous things with our silent looks. I was enjoying myself at the party but I was sure I was going to enjoy myself even more after. 

One of his big hands, hands that I so desperately wanted to leave their marks on my skin, wrapped around the back of my neck and brought my face a breaths apart from his as he whispered, “I cannot wait to get you alone again. I’m afraid we might need to have Madja on standby to heal you again in the morning.”

A hot wave of desire slithered through me and I nearly whimpered at the idea of him and his cock doing the same thing to me as the night before, unsure if I could actually survive that much pleasure. 

A satisfied smirk curled over his lips as he closed the meager distance between us, his lips soft and gentle against mine as he gave me a lingering yet oddly chaste kiss. “Later,” he promised. 

“Well,” a voice dripping with irritation and something else I couldn’t define interrupted what was one of the sweetest kisses of my life. “Isn’t this sweet? I didn’t realize you were interested in human scum, Azriel. It makes me rethink my own choices when it comes to our…friendship.”

Azriel’s lips released mine and he dragged me behind him so quickly I barely had time to steady myself. Anger radiated off of him as he stood between me and Eris, blocking my view but not blocking my ears from the words being said. His shadows swirled around me creating a veil between me and everyone else in the room, almost like a curtain hiding me from them, and I scowled at this. Protective asshole. 

“Eris. This is not the time or the place to-”

“To what?” Eris sneered. “To go parading your little infatuation with a human in front of everyone? You’re right. This is a peace ball between courts, not a place for you to enjoy your exhibitionist kink by making us watch as you two fondle each other like immature adolescents.”

“There are plenty of other couples in attendance doing much more than sharing a kiss, Eris. Perhaps if you weren’t such a stuck up prude you would not be so offended by something as simple as a kiss between lovers.”

“Is that what you are then; lovers? I suppose labeling it anything more than that would be insulting as you are still obsessed with one of the Archeron sisters, or was it that little redhead from the temple? Or Mor? It’s hard to keep track nowadays of where your affections lie since they are so easily discarded when you find a new toy to play with.” 

“She’s not a toy,” Azriel bit out, his shadows swirling around him angrily. “She is mine. Not that what we are to each other matters. It’s none of your business.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Eris murmured, his voice full of warning and I could practically see his eyes glinting with danger even though Azriel and his shadows were blocking me from this entire exchange. “She is my business as she is in my home, my world, and living with my allies. Everything about her concerns me just like everything about you does, too, Shadow Slinger. We might not be-”

“Eris!” Azriel interrupted him with a lash of his tongue. 

Silence fell between the two of them and I couldn’t help but grin. Were they having a lovers quarrel? It sure as fuck sounded like it. If I didn’t know any better I would say they sounded like angry exes and not just reluctant allies. No, something was for sure going on between them and I wanted to know every single detail. 

I’d had just enough fae wine to make me bold, not reckless, and even knowing full well that Eris was a scary mother fucker did not deter me from my decision; I knew Azriel would protect me. 

Stepping out of the protection of shadows and from behind Azriel’s well muscled back I flashed my sweetest smile up at the handsome redhead and said, “Aw, Eris sweetie, you boys don’t need to fight over me. I’m happy to entertain you too this evening. If you want to get to know me better to prove that I’m good enough to be emissary for the new humans, by all means, let’s get to know each other.” Holding out my hand to him I kept my smile in place, pleased to see surprise flare in his eyes. “Why don’t we take a walk around and you can tell me all sorts of things while subletting insulting me for being human, and Azzie can follow behind us glaring at you the entire time?”

Despite himself Eris’ lips twitched. “Azzie?”

“Mhm, little Azzie is quite my protector it seems, when he’s not breaking into my room and carving his dagger into my skin.” I rolled my eyes dramatically for Eris’ benefit even as his own eyes widened, and I shrugged. “We got over that little incident, so I’m sure you and I can come to terms with me being human and you hating me for it. Come on, take my hand like a good boy and let’s go for a walk.”

As if responding without even thinking Eris immediately reached for my hand, his eyes locked on me, and behind me Azriel choked on his own laughter. 

Oh yes, I was about to have some fun with these two.

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Twenty-Two

Light (Eris POV)

Summary: upon spotting the little ball of sunlight Eris starts to plot something that has been brewing a very, very long time.

Eris

In one moment my entire world went from storm clouds to sunlight. 

The idea of a Peace Ball being held in the Autumn Court when my father was the least peaceful male in all of Prythian was so incredibly ridiculous that I had laughed heartily when it had been proposed. I had laughed even harder when he had accepted, saying it was an honor. There was no way Beron, High Lord of Assholery, would want to represent peace between the courts when he was the one who constantly talked about how uncivilized the others were. Every breath he took he spent putting others down so he could exude his superiority and his favorite target, aside me, were the other courts. 

And yet somehow we still ended up hosting the ridiculous gathering. 

Every day the palace had been filled with servants and plans and preparations until I had slowly come to accept that it was actually happening. And that I was going to have to suffer through the event. 

Events were always the worst as Beron was on his worst behavior. Not outwardly, of course. No, outwardly he had to appear the perfect High Lord so he could make sure he felt superior. Behind closed doors? Well, the burns that were artfully hidden under my clothes were deep enough I was sure they would leave scars. Again. 

Being forced up onto the dias on the right hand side of my sire, for I would never call him my father as he had never been such to me, after the brutal things he had done to me only hours before was typical yet degrading. If I didn’t play by his rules, though? It would be so much worse. 

So I sat there and nodded to each of our guests as they introduced themselves, waiting until the last had arrived so I could disappear into the crowd and enjoy the festivities as best I could under his watchful eye. 

That was until she appeared. 

I had caught her scent while she had still been hidden in line, a faintly cinnamon and honey scent mixed with the crispness of a fresh apple at the first harvest. It called to me, wafting over from the receiving line whenever a gentle breeze thought to bring it to me, and it was unlike anything I had smelled before. I was sure that this was someone knew, someone I had never met and would never meet the likes of again. Just her scent was the most pure and heady thing I had ever experienced it had been difficult to remain indifferent to the rest of the guests as they had filtered through. 

Then she had stepped forward. 

With the Night Court cronies off to the side watching her proudly and one winged fuck behind her looking possessively on, the fire haired vision in golden velvet stepped forward to bow before my sire. 

I caught only a glimpse of her dark eyes before she lowered her gaze to the ground and that was all it took for my world to light up. 

Because before me had stood my mate. 

With her riot of fiery curls and her faintly freckled skin, the generous curves of her breasts and hip, the intoxicating smell of her, all of it combined into one perfect little package that I knew was meant for me. Only…she was human. 

It was that realization that had had me on my feet a split second after she had lowered into her curtsey. Headless of my father and the rest of our audience I had disregarded my careless sprawl across my chair, standing to get a better look at the little beacon of warmth kneeling below me. She radiated joy and promise and hope and fucking sunlight through the darkness that had been my world prior. 

Because with a mate I stood a chance. With a mate by my side and the possibility of a future the chance for revolution was finally, finally possible. 

Years ago I had tried. I had tried to unite the underfed farmers and the overworked masons, the exhausted blacksmiths and the common townsfolk, all for my cause; overthrowing Beron. While all of them wanted a new era to reign so at least the option for a better life, a better world, was possible, they had all seemed to agree on the same thing; I could not be a leader without a mate. 

While other courts existed with just a High Lord, the Autumn Court always had a lady. From the dawn of time, before records had been written and stories had still just been carried by mouths around open flames in the forest, there was always a lady to the High Lord. The people of the Autumn Court were traditional compared to others and they believed in the old magic that made our trees stand tall and our crops plentiful; everything was in balance. Which meant that there needed to be the strong and resilient female companion to stand beside the High Lord and guide him, to balance him, before order could be. 

I had tried. 

I really had. 

I had no distinguishing thoughts between males or females; both pleased me and I them. Autumn Court, however, held on to old traditions and believed I must take a female so that was who I sought for the most part. And most of them had not been able to withstand the pressure of one day becoming Lady Consort, and others knew not of my actual self, instead thinking the persona I had adopted to please Beron being my actual one therefore finding me repulsive. There had never once been a suitable candidate for the roll and after what happened with Morrigan I had decided to stop trying to find one until after Beron died. 

I only wished that would happen sooner rather than later. 

My thoughts drifted to Morrigan, the one attempt I had truly hoped would be fruitful as it was the one that offered the best alliance. With her cousin being High Lord of the Night Court and their powerful army behind them, as well as her quest for power, I had thought that we had shared an understanding that the union would be beneficial to both of us. I cared not for her virginity or for her preference towards females; I only needed her at my side to balance the power and convince the people to unite. However when she had gone against the traditions that Beron held so deeply and gave herself to the Illyrian war lord, Beron had deemed her unfit. I cringed thinking about that night and the unspeakable acts that had happened, the ones I had to allow for the good of my people. If I showed any weakness, especially for the treatment of a female, Beron would deem me unfit as his heir and one of my brothers that were too much like him would receive that honor instead. I still harbored so much guilt over that night and the only thing that brought me any peace was that I managed to convince him to release her instead of killing her. 

Since that night, though, I had stopped trying to find anyone. 

Seeing such a strong female reduced to that, beaten and degraded as he loved to do, I could not stomach to subject another to that potential fate. Beron insisted on whoever I was to wed being an advantageous match and that she be untouched as was one of the upheld traditions of our court. Not many females met that standard which meant I had been lucky since then and I had made a point to never show interest in a particular well bred female since as to save her from potential danger. 

The Autumn Court was not safe for a female. 

At least not yet. 

With a mate by my side? I could make it safe. 

Beron could not object to a female if she were my mate, no matter her low birth, lack of fortune, or if she were untouched or not. If she were my mate he had to honor the old traditions as was the laws of our court. Finding my mate was the one thing that would help me. 

It would also put her in danger, though. 

This little human. The one whose skin smelt like the sweetest days of harvest and whose hair reminded me of sunsets. She would be in danger if I revealed who she was before it was time. Even though I knew nothing of her yet, the idea of her in danger had my heart lurching in my chest. I could not allow danger to befall my little human. The first ray of hope in my bleak world would not succumb to the perils of Beron, or anyone else. I would need to remain Beron’s loyal lap dog a little longer if I wanted to make sure her and all my people were safe. 

Everything had to be strategic with this or all would be lost. 

And a piercing hazel gaze from the one person who knew more about my plans than anyone had a right to met mine over the curve of her shoulder and brought me back to the moment. 

Azriel’s piercing gaze reminding me what was at stake if I fucked up, so I fell back into my normal disposition and sneered at the human who held my fate in her delicate fingers. 

“This is the little human you think should represent them all?” I asked, keeping my eyes locked on her as I seemed incapable of looking away while directing my words to Feyre who had been her biggest advocate on establishing her as our human ambassador. “Are you certain? She seems…inadequate.”

My human narrowed her gaze on me and I watched with rapt delight as fire lit from within her eyes, her hands balling into fists at her sides as she rose to her feet. “I assure you, I am plenty adequate for this position or any other. How dare you assume I am not just from looking at me once?”

Gods, she was perfect. She seemed to not care she was surrounded by fae who were all bigger and stronger than her, who could easily crush her without exerting any true force. Fearless, and perhaps a bit reckless, I could work with. 

Not letting my approval and fascination of her leech into my gaze I eyed her, ready to reprimand her for speaking to me in such a way, but my sire’s booming laugh cut me off. 

I tried not to grimace at the sound, one that I associated with only things depraved or disgusting as there was never any other reason he would laugh, and turned to see exactly what had caused the amusement this time. 

His eyes were trained on her and filled with a familiar hunger that had me bristling. Fuck. If he so much as moved to touch her I was going to abandon every well thought out plan and snap his neck before he could disgrace her perfect being with even his breath let alone his touch. She was mine and I was not going to fucking share. 

“I always did like how feisty a redhead could be,” Beron chuckled, causing my stomach to church with disgust. “Redheads and their fiery temper take a lot longer to break which is why it’s so much more satisfying when they do.”

I could practically feel my mother’s visceral reaction to those words, no doubt aimed to make her feel uncomfortable as well as remind her of her place while threatening a potential new victim. Without thinking I stepped off the dias and into his line of sight of my female, along with the other representatives of the Night Court. Shoulder to shoulder we stood blocking his view of her and my heart warmed at their obvious devotion and protection of her; they would make good allies when it came time. 

“I was only jesting, Father,” I quickly smirked at him, shrugging as if all of this was a joke to me even though I was ready to rip his head off. “That is what friends do, is it not; jest? We are at a peace ball so I was under the assumption we are all friends and we could jest.”

Beron rolling his eyes at his eyes at me, probably thinking I was only playing the part of the dutiful peacekeeper only so we could plot their demise later on when in fact it was the exact opposite. “Right, a peace ball. Fine, continue your jesting. I’ve grown tired of having you at my side anyways. You and your brothers may enjoy the gathering.”

I bowed, as was custom though it grated on my nerves to show him any sign of respect. My brothers did the same and disappeared into the crowd without another word as I turned my attention to the angry female behind me. Before I could reach for her Azriel was there, wrapping an arm around her should with such familiarity my breath caught in my throat, and hauled her through the crowd with the rest of their party in tow. 

Unable to help myself I followed closely behind, noting for the first time that a faint trace of Azriel’s scent clung to her in a way that had my heart lurching once more. 

Was my mate…taken?

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Twenty-One

Complications

Summary: I thought attending a Peace Ball would be...peaceful? yall get me stressed

I fidgeted in my seat as Nuala fussed with my hair for the thousandth time. 

Feyre, Nesta, and I had all been getting ready for the ball together, Elain’s absence as she was the one babysitting Nyx that night. Apparently her and Lucien weren’t a fan of the idea of going to the Autumn Court so they had volunteered for baby duty which meant my night would be free from her lingering stares. 

Feyre and Nesta’s hair, which was naturally straight and not at all annoying to style, had been easy enough to tame. When Cerridwen had insisted that she wash my hair and tame the curls I had been reluctant to agree with her as from what I could tell of her shadowy form, she had straight hair. Trusting someone with my curls wasn’t high on my list of things to do let alone some shadow wraith with little knowledge of them. She had surprised me, however, and had managed to tame them as well as style them. 

My hair cascaded around me in a riot of bouncing curls, the front of my hair pulled back from my face in intricate little braids only for the back to be unbound and flowing freely like something out of a medieval manuscript. It truly did look fantastic and would go so well with the dress, if only Nuala could stop touching me. 

“It’s just so pretty,” she gushed, tugging on another curl to watch it spring back. “I don’t know why you are constantly hiding this in braids and buns.”

“Because it’s hard to get it to look okay without an array of hair products, all of which I left back home.”

“We can bring you some,” Cerridwen smiled. “We have plenty of things that will help. We will send them over so you can have pretty hair always.”

Rolling my eyes towards the amused looking Nesta and Feyre I asked, “When are we leaving?”

“Soon,” Feyre grinned, obviously excited. “The guys will come get us when they’re ready.”

 “Hmm,” I replied absently, my mind straying to one male in particular. 

After our nap the day before Azriel had run me a hot bath and spent a significant amount of time cleaning me as well as torturing me. My body had been sore after The Dickening, which was what I decided to call that first time together, so he had taken to giving me as many orgasms as he could with his fingers and mouth until I had begged him to stop. Then he had fed me and braided my hair for me, massaged every muscle in my body, and fucked my mouth before we had fallen asleep for the night. 

Every moment since he had declared us together he had spent pampering me. When I had barely been able to walk this morning, thanks giant monster cock, he had sent for Madja the healer who had declared so loudly about my bruised cervix that I was sure everyone knew. Thankfully a bruised cervix was easier to heal than most things she dealt with which meant she left not long after, me fully healed and Azriel looking incredibly guilty. 

His apologies had been very enthusiastic,  his tongue practically making a home between my thighs all morning before Feyre and Nesta had shown up to kick him out of my room so we could all get ready together. 

I looked back in the mirror and grinned. 

I hoped he liked the dress and the hair. 

It had been a long time since I had had anyone I’d been romantically involved and having someone as hot as Azriel had me wanting to look nice enough that people didn’t question it too much. I was nowhere near as stunning as Nesta, or delicate like Elain, or beautiful like Feyre, but I cleaned up pretty nice. 

“Stop worrying,” Nesta said gently. “You look perfect.”

“He’s going to think you’re stunning,” Feyre added, smiling over at me. “He already can’t keep his hands off you when you’re dressed in regular clothes. Like this? I’ll be surprised if you two make it the whole evening before he’s shoving you into a closet somewhere.”

“Who’s shoving who in a closet?” Rhysand demanded, barging into the room with all the authority of the high lord he is. When his eyes landed on Feyre his nostrils flared and he let out a soft growl. “Fuck. Me I guess. Cauldron, look at you.”

She rolled her eyes but stood and took his offered hand, allowing him to spin her in a circle so he could admire the beautiful dress she was in. 

“If we weren’t escorting the most important guest of the evening I would say fuck the ball and let’s take a flight,” he murmured, his hungry eyes scanning over her. 

“Rhys!” she laughed, playfully slapping at his chest as Cassian and Azriel walked in. 

Cassian’s eyes went to Nesta, giving her the same heated look Rhys was giving Feyre, and Azriel…his eyes were on me. 

Slowly he walked towards me like a lion hunting his prey, eyes trained and unblinking, gaze intense. When he finally reached me he didn’t grab me like I expected. Instead he leaned in and brushed a soft kiss over my cheek before whispering against my ear, “We need to have that talk soon so I can know exactly what I can and cannot do to this perfect fucking body of yours. It’s going to be very improper for me to be at the ball all night, watching you and wondering which of my depraved fantasies you’re going to let me enjoy.”

My cheeks heated, fully aware everyone in the room had no doubt hear him and that they could smell what those words had done to me. “Behave,” I murmured back, stepping away from him and the urge to grab him. 

“We should probably go before these males get too many ideas in their bloodless brains,” Nesta suggested, moving towards the door. 

Grinning, Feyre and I followed with our males not far behind. 

Winnowing wasn’t any better that time around and if it weren’t for the fact we landed in the Autumn Court where everything smelled like Halloween, I would’ve been angry. Instead I took in a deep breath of one of my favorite scents. 

Fall had always been my favorite. The changing leaves, the cool breeze, hot drinks and cozy nights in? Not to mention the apple flavored treats and pumpkin inspired dishes! Everything about fall spoke to my very soul, making it sing the song of the leaves. I had always said that I wished I could live somewhere where it was fall all year round and the second we stepped foot in the Autumn Court my heart longed to stay. 

Azriel looped his arm around my waist and guided me along a lit path behind the other four, crunching leaved under out feet and soft winds playing with my curls. The faint sound of music drifted up the path and more flickering lights of lanterns could be seen ahead, causing me to gasp. “Is this ball outside?”

“Yes,” Azriel said quietly. “The High Lord of Autumn has a very extravagant outdoor entertaining space behind the palace and was gracious enough to volunteer it for the occasion. Don’t worry; if you get cold I can keep you warm.”

I was unable to hide the giant smile on my face as we got closer, both from him and from the wonderful night that lay ahead. 

There were already plenty of people there by the time we finally arrived. Many were already drinking and mingling, presumably waiting to be called to the giant table that extended for what looked like ages with elaborate place settings. Along with the table there were multiple drink stations, fae walking around with trays of food or pouring wine into empty cups, a giant dance floor, a huge band playing the music I had heard on our arrival, and fae of all shapes milling about. Lanterns of firelight floated above all of it lighting everything in a warm amber glow and filling the air with the sweet scent of smoked wood. 

It truly looked magical and I felt every bit the fairy princess, even for just a moment. 

“We have to greet our hosts, then we can enjoy the evening,” Azriel instructed as he guided me towards the raised dias across the dance floor where a few people were gathered. 

I stiffened at this, remembering what I had been instructed earlier. Feyre and Rhys would greet the High Lord of Autumn as normal while Nesta, Cassian, Azriel and I were all required to bow or courtsey. Nuala and Cerridwen had spent a significant amount of time teaching me how while wearing the dress as to make sure I didn’t make a fool of myself. That didn’t take away how nervous I was, though. 

The crowd in front of us preventing me from seeing the actual thrones I assumed were on the dias all waited patiently for their turn to greet the hosts and I tried not to let my mind convince me to run away. All it would take was one measly courtesy, then I could enjoy the entire evening. That was all. It was simple. 

Only as we neared I could see it wasn’t just Beron sitting on that dias; Lady Autumn and their sons were all there too. 

Every one of them looked terribly disinterested as they nodded to each person who bowed or curtsied, their expressions almost bored. I supposed that if I were as old and as royal as them I might get bored with being greeted this way too, stuck on a stupid chair greeting everyone unable to actually start enjoying myself until every guest had arrived. 

I eyed each of them as they came in to view, first noting how much the unnamed sons looked alike, and then how beautiful Lady Autumn was with her beautifully flowing red hair. I started slightly upon noticing how similar our gowns were, the cut and style almost exactly the same though her neckline was higher and the color of hers more amber than yellow. In fact, many of the females in attendance that sported red hair were dressed in a similar style, and the men were in the medieval equivalent that had me feeling like I was at a renaissance fair. Velvet tunics and high boots should have looked soft and feminine yet on their toned, warrior bodies they looked more like lethal weapons waiting to strike than anything else. 

Glancing around I started to notice the different manner of dressing, all of which I deemed to be based on which court they were from. My Night Court friends were all in black and silver, who I assumed were the Day Court seemed to all favor toga style outfits, and what had to be the Summer Court as Amren was clinging to the arm of one of them, were dressed in soft blues of billowing fabric. There was the fur of the Winter Court, the bright colors of the Spring Court, and the vibrant golden of the Dawn Court. 

So why the fuck had I been dressed in Autumn Court attire?

Spending so much time contemplating this had me almost missing that it was my turn to be introduced. 

Rhys and Feyre stood to the side as Azriel nudged me forward, Feyre’s confident High Lady voice echoing as she said, “And this is our newest member, Hailey, who I have told you all about.”

I nearly stumbled over my dress as I stepped towards them but thankfully caught myself at the last moment, sinking into a very low curtsey as a sign of my respect. 

Waiting for the signal to rise seemed like a lifetime and as my muscles started to cramp and the sound of whispers behind me rose louder and louder I started to worry perhaps I had not heard the signal. I had been told that Beron would say ‘rise’ signaling that I was allowed to straighten and smile at them before continuing on to the party, only it never came. 

I could feel gazes on me as my legs ached and my back spasmed, and I wanted desperately to look up to see what was going on yet not wanting to offend them. Instead I picked a spot on the ground and focused on it, my ears straining to hear the all clear. It wasn’t until a pair of dark brown boots entered my field of vision that I realized something was wrong. 

A calloused, strong hand reached forward and a pair of deft fingers gripped my jaw, tilting my head upwards. 

I expected to see Beron standing there sneering at me, ready to yell for insulting him somehow. Instead a younger fae male with a long curtain of red hair and shining amber eyes was staring down at me like he had never seen a woman before. 

When my eyes met his, his lips parted with a small gasp and I could’ve sworn the entire gathering stopped breathing. Nothing could be heard aside the rustle of leaves in the distance and the roaring of my own heart in my ears as the male continued to stare. 

And I stared right the fuck back. 

Sure I had a gorgeous Illyrian hovering behind me, one that had fucked me six ways to Sunday over the past twenty-four hours, but that didn’t mean I was dead. 

Of course I noticed how hot this male was. 

Normally I’m not attracted to redheads. Being one myself it felt to Weasley, to incestuous, to find a redhead attractive. Him, though? He was something out of a fairy tale. 

Though he was paler than Rhys and friends darker complexions, even lighter than his brother Lucien, he still had a gentle golden hue to his skin that spoke of time spent under the sun. It went so well with his hair and eyes, as well as his golden tunic, that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. And the smell of him? It was like fall amplified. Crisp apples mixed with the spice of cinnamon and the musk of leaves and the richness of soil, he smelled like something out of my fantasies. 

“Hailey,” he murmured with a voice like silk. 

I blinked, unsure how to respond. A movement over my shoulder caused his gaze to flicker there for a moment, drawing him out of whatever trance he seemed to be in, before his eyes snapped back to mine. Instantly the look of wonder and curiosity was gone from those amber depths replaced by an almost cruel smirk. 

“This is the little human you think should represent them all?” he asked, still looking at me but obviously talking to Feyre. “Are you certain? She seems…inadequate.”

And that’s when it came time for my attitude to rise up. 

Glaring at him I shoved his hand a way and rose to my feet, much to the happiness of my aching muscles, and said, “I assure you, I am plenty adequate for this position or any other. How dare you assume I am not just from looking at me once?”

A few gasps echoed behind me, alerting me I had truly fucked up, and I saw Feyre close her eyes briefly at my words. Despite the gentle warnings she had given me I had still managed to sass one of them before the ball even started. 

The male in front of me who I had to assume was Eris narrowed his gaze, only he was interrupted before he could speak. A booming laugh sounded from behind him, echoing deep and rich from the dark haired man sitting on the throne watching us with amusement. 

Everyone in attendance seemed to turn to him with shock as he laughed mirthfully, his hand resting on his belly and his face split into a huge smile. 

“I always did like how feisty a redhead could be,” Beron chuckled, eyeing me with interest. “Redheads and their fiery temper take a lot longer to break which is why it’s so much more satisfying when they do.”

Disgust slithered through me at his words and I involuntarily looked towards his wife, who seemed to shrink in her own chair. Then my view was blocked as two broad shouldered males stepped in front of me, followed by more shoulders until I was successfully hidden behind a wall of my Night Court companions, and…Eris?

“I was only jesting, Father,” that same silken voice spoke up though now it had a slight edge to it. “That is what friends do, is it not; jest? We are at a peace ball so I was under the assumption we are all friends and we could jest.”

I peaked between shoulders, frustrated that as a nearly six foot tall woman I was suddenly finding myself too short to see, and managed to spot Beron rolling his eyes at his son. “Right, a peace ball. Fine, continue your jesting. I’ve grown tired of having you at my side anyways. You and your brothers may enjoy the gathering.”

Eris bowed, as did his brothers, before the latter quickly dispersed into the crowd. Beron resumed his seat and waved us all away, his gaze turning to those in the receiving line once more. 

Instantly hands were on me, hauling me away from the dias and into the crowd as if they were eager to get me as far away from Beron as possible. 

Honestly, I was grateful for that. The guy gave me the creeps. 

It was time to party. 

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Twenty

Reassurances

Summary: a cute moment between us after he wrecked my insides

Even through the fog that was my brain after what had just happened, the anxiety managed to weasel it’s way through the poison my thoughts. Instantly I started to worry over what this meant between us. He had said we were together, he had said I was his and he was mine, but did he actually mean that? Men said things like that all the time and didn’t mean them, only giving women the words they wanted to hear so they could use our bodies for their pleasure. Was that what was happening? 

It would make sense. 

Why would Azriel, shadow daddy master of spies for the Night Court, want anything more with me than a quick fuck? From the very moment I had arrived in Prythian we had this weird sexual tension and around every corner I had stopped it somehow someway and he had made it clear he didn’t trust me or like me. The only logical explanation for his sudden change in behavior would be that he didn’t actually want anything to do with me aside meaningless sex. Sure, it was really good sex, but that didn’t change the fact that he probably viewed it as just another way to release some tension. 

Embarrassment flooded me over the way I had begged him to fuck me, knowing he probably had gotten a kick out of that. I was well on my way to a full spiral when a pair of impossibly gentle hands rolled me over and I looked up to see Azriel’s smiling face. 

The smile was like nothing I had seen from him before. It was all sunshine and happiness, filled with hope and contentment that was so unlike his usual stoic expression that it paused my erratic train of thought. 

The his eyes landed on mine where I knew tears were spilling out and the smile faltered. “Hailey, baby, are you okay?” he asked quickly, panic flooding his voice. “Did I hurt you?”

“No. Well, yes, but I liked it. I just…” I trailed off, not sure what to say. 

His shadows, which had been strangely absent since he had removed his clothes, swirled around his shoulders once more and I watched as his expression darkened. “Tell me whats wrong,” he whispered. 

Unable to help myself even though I knew he could continue to lie I asked, “Did you mean what you said? Did you mean that you actually want to be with me?”

He blinked once, then twice, processing my words before he reached forward and pulled me tight to his chest. “Of course I meant it you idiot. Why the fuck would I say that if I didn’t mean it?”

I sniffled, burrowing deeper into the warmth of him drawing comfort from the press of his skin on mine. As he rubbed his hands down my spine I realized maybe I was being stupid to think Azriel ever said something he didn’t mean. The male was so serious, so intense all the time it would be pointless for him to waste his energy saying anything he did not mean. 

“Sorry,” I sighed. “I guess I just got worried. When you came in here I thought you were coming to tell me you hated me and that you wanted to end the whole fake dating thing.”

He was silent for a moment, the hand rubbing my back stilling, before he said in a low, dangerous voice, “Why did you think that?”

“Because. You’re you and I’m me. I figured you saw that there were thousands of beautiful fae out there for you to enjoy and that you were wasting your time pretending with me. I thought-”

“I’m not wasting my time with you,” he said sternly, pulling me back and forcing my gaze up to his. “Fuck, every second spent without you is a waste of time.”

I sniffled, aware that I probably looked horrendous after training all morning and then what had just happened. How he actually was attracted to me I had no idea and decided then that I wasn’t going to question it, I would just enjoy it as long as it lasted. This was the perfect recipe for getting my heart broken and if it were anyone other than the fae male before me I might not risk it, he was just too pretty to say no to. 

“So, you really want to be together?”

“Yes.”

“Like together together?”

His lips twitched, threatening a smile at my soft tone. “Together together, I’m yours and you’re mine, we don’t see other people, you get to use my body at your leisure for whatever you want and I hope you sometimes let me do the same in return.”

“Anything I want?” I hedged. 

“Anything.”

“Hmmm. I think we are going to have to talk some ground rules.”

A low chuckle rumbled in his chest, such a rare sound I wasn’t even sure what I was hearing at first until I saw the mirth dancing in his eyes, along with the heat. “Yes, we should definitely have some discussions about things. How about we schedule that talk for after the ball? I’m sure you have other things to think about than how much I can’t wait to tie you up to this bed.”

Despite how thoroughly I had just been fucked, a bolt of desire shot through me at the idea of being tied up and at his mercy. Again. 

He groaned and shook his head. “Not now. Let me get you cleaned up, okay?”

He drew away from me and I noticed the wet cloth he had brought with him. Apparently when he had left me it wasn’t because he was actually leaving, he just went to the bathroom to get that. 

I watched, my heart bursting, as he eased back and gently tugged my legs apart. 

The sticky sensation that was coating my thighs had me grimacing even as a thrill shot through me. No one had ever come inside me before as I had always been way too anxious to allow that, and the warm, sticky feeling was somehow both disgusting and yet turning me on. 

Azriel seemed to have the same reaction as he paused, reaching forward to trail a finger over me and the evidence of our coupling. His eyes heated as he carefully scooped up a mound of it and eased his finger into me, gently finger fucking his cum back inside. I groaned both at the act itself and the feel of his finger inside my tender flesh after the rough fuck that I had just survived. As my brain cleared more of the sex haze from it I became increasingly aware of how sore I was. 

“Fuck, sorry,” he grinned, obviously not sorry enough as he removed his finger and used to cloth to clean me. “You just look so pretty with my cum leaking out of your pussy like that.”

“Uhm, Az?” I grimaced. “There’s like a tea or something we need to take, right? To prevent me from getting pregnant?”

His eyes heated at my words and I watched them trail over my abdomen as if he was imagining his baby swelling there. 

Fuck.

It looked like I wasn’t the only one in the room with a breeding kink. 

“Right,” he murmured, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on my belly. “It’s a bit early for that isn’t it? I’m sure there is some in the kitchen. I’ll bring some later.”

I stared at him, unsure how to react to those, and he just smiled. A second later he had discarded the cloth and was curling himself around me in such a tight, possessive hold I could barely understand how I had been worried moments ago that he didn’t want anything to do with me. 

“Take a nap with me,” he murmured, settling us against the pillows. “Later we can deal with the tea and everything else.”

I relaxed against him once more, only just then realizing how tired my body and mind truly were. Sighing I closed my eyes and allowed myself to enjoy the moments peace we had found together. 

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Nineteen

Desperation

Summary: oh they fawkin

Content warning: sexually explicit like fr.

I was fully aware that everything that was happening was insane. 

This asshole fae was just casually telling me that I was his and he was mine with little conversation as to what that would mean, and I was just going along with it. Perhaps it was from the overall stress of the day or that Azriel truly was one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen in my life and the sexual tension between us had brainwashed me into thinking this was okay. Either way I wasn’t going to pass it up. 

Shoving all thoughts of anything else out of my overactive brain I focused on the way his mouth felt on mine. 

Instantly he took control of the kiss which was perfectly fine by me. With one quick movement he pulled me into his lap so I was straddling his hips and his giant hands were kneading my ass as his tongue thrust into my mouth. White hot desire slithered through my body and took over all rational thought, demanding that I touch and taste him, begging to be satisfied in the way I hadn’t been in so long. 

Aside the other day when he had found me after my bath and given me one of the most mind blowing orgasms I’ve ever had, it had been years since I’d had the pleasure of coming from the efforts of someone else. Feeling the heat of his body against mine had that desire, that need, amplifying to impossible levels. 

“Az, please,” I whimpered as he pulled his mouth from mine to press hungry kisses down my neck. “I need you. Now.”

A low rumble in his throat had my clit tingling and I was unable to stop myself from grinding down on his impressive erection, desperate for some relief to the rampaging need inside me. 

He seemed to understand my desperation, or perhaps felt it mirrored in himself, because he released his death grip on my ass and started unlacing my leathers as fast as his hands could move. Excitement roared at the promise that I was finally going to get what my body so desperately wanted and I started fumbling with his too, trying to figure out how exactly the complicated garment that fit around his wings would come off so I could touch the warm golden skin underneath. 

The sudden cool air against my own skin had me realizing he had managed to get off my top before I could even find where the closures of his were and I groaned when he captured my aching nipple in his mouth, the other between his finger tips. Teeth and tongue swirled around the sensitive tip, heightening my arousal and making the ache in me more acute. In that moment I knew there was little need for foreplay, the inside of my leathers already dripping with evidence of how much I needed him. 

“Azriel I am begging you,” I gasped as he bit down, sending electric shocks straight to my clit. All semblance of shame at the idea of begging anyone gone, that’s how desperate I felt. “Fuck me now. I can’t take much more of this.”

He didn’t need to be told again. 

His mouth released me with a ‘pop’ and his hands encircled my thighs, lifting me with him as he stood. I twined my arms around his neck and held tight as he maneuvered us over to the awaiting bed, my breathing heavy and my mind clouded with desire. I felt nearly drunk on just the idea of pleasure as he tossed me on the bed hard enough that I bounced before his fingers were deftly unlacing my pants and dragging them down my legs. 

Naked and vulnerable before him I managed a few seconds of clear thoughts when I saw him kneel on the bed, his eyes trained between my legs with such a predatory, hungry gaze I knew exactly what he was thinking. As much as I wanted that too, I wasn’t in the mood for whatever slow torture he was thinking about. Pressing my foot to his chest to halt his movements I shook my head. “No, not yet.”

Azriel stilled, his entire body becoming imobile as his gaze darted to my face. Worry replaced that hunger so quickly I barely had time to register it before he was backing off. “I’m sorry,” he started before I could interrupt him. 

“No, fuck, Az, I just meant take off your fucking clothes and fuck me before I die of a heart attack waiting. The rest can happen later, I just need you inside me. Now.”

My words must’ve relit the fire inside him as he went from cautious to feral in seconds. His clothes were practically ripped off his body and I gasped when his cock sprung free from his pants, fully hard and dripping with the evidence of his own desire for me. 

To say he was huge would be an understatement. Thick and pulsing, it was bigger than anything I had seen before. In my desire-hazed mind I registered the danger that monstrous thing presented and yet all I could think of was how amazing it was going to feel inside me. I read way too much monster-human smut to be truly intimidated by a cock. 

Azriel’s scarred hand encircled himself and he gave a few tugs, his head falling back with a groan as he did, teasing me. 

What a fucking sight he made. 

With his wings spread out behind him and all of his gloriously muscled body on display for me in the sunlight streaming in from the uncovered windows he looked like a fallen angel sent from hell to corrupt me. His body and cock promised both pleasure and pain along with eternal damnation as I knew if this happened I would never be the same after. If I somehow got sent back to my world, or if Azriel woke up one day deciding that I wasn’t good enough for him, my world would be shattered because no one would ever compare to whatever he was about to do to me. 

I registered this ending of my own mental well being, the finality that was the funeral of my sexual satisfaction with anyone or anything else, and still reached for him anyways. 

His eyes snapped open and he focused on me, his hand stilling and his lips curving up into a playful smirk I had never seen before. “Is this what you want, my little liar? You want me to fuck you so hard both of us forget our own names?”

Fuck yes. And yet there was that uncertainty that managed to rise within me even through the fog of everything in my brain. For just a second I thought perhaps he was teasing me, making fun of me just to show that he could overpower me and make me beg for him only to turn it all around and tell me that it was a joke, that he would never want someone like me and I was stupid for thinking he would. 

That doubt vanished in the next second when he pounced. 

“You drive me fucking insane,” he bit out as he settled himself between my thighs, his forearms resting on eitherside of my head as he caged me in. The warmth of his breath washed over my oversensitized skin as he continued. “Every fucking day when you sass me or roll your eyes, it takes every ounce of my strength not to bend you over the nearest surface and fuck you into submission. You unravel all of my control until I’m on the precipice of mass destruction just because I love the way you look at me with those defiant little grins.”

He reached out and trailed a finger over the raging pulse in my neck, his pupils blown wide with desire and his breathing as heavy as my own as he murmured, “I’m going to punish you for that later, little human, but right now I don’t think I can last another minute without feeling your sweet pussy wrapped around me.”

Another whimper escaped my lips as I planted my feet firmly on the bed, arching myself up into him to rub against the glorious hardness of his cock where he was holding himself just above me. “Azriel, please.”

A guttural groan echoed in the room as he reached between us, dragging his thick fingers through the wetness that had gathered and then circling my clit with such precision I nearly imploded at the first touch. “Fuck, you’re soaked,” he sighed against my neck as he brushed his lips over the spot that drove me inside, heightening my desire to the point I was sure I might cry if he didn’t give me what I wanted soon. “Are you sure you’re ready? I don’t think I have the strength to be gentle with you right now and once I get inside you, I’m going to use you like my own personal fuck toy until I’m satisfied. Are you sure, Hailey?”

My entire body pulsed at his words, having been desperate for exactly that my entire life and never having been fulfilled. Looking up into his hooded eyes I gave him the grin he was so fond of and said, “Use me, Azriel. I am yours.”

Those words seemed to unleash him. In a flash of movement he flipped me over, grabbed me by the hips to drag me to him, notched himself at my entrance, and shoved.

Stars exploded behind my eyes. 

The stretch of him was the most intense pleasure mixing with such acute pain as my body tried to accommodate him that it triggered an instant orgasm as he seated himself within me. I screamed into the mattress as I pulsed around his thick length, my fingers tangling in the sheets trying to keep myself grounded as I was sure that I might find myself hurtling through the universe with the intensity of it. Heat blossomed through me and flooded my senses to the point I didn’t even notice he had wound my ponytail around his fist until he pulled. 

He turned my head sideways as tears streamed down my face, pinpricks of pain pulling on my scalp as he did so. He pressed his lips to my ear as he murmured, “You’re such a good fucking girl, strangling my cock like that. Now stay still so I can use this perfect pussy, okay?”

My body clenched at his words, loving the contrast of the praise and the commands. There was little else I could do but lay there and take what he gave me as he pulled his hips back, then snapped them forward with such force my body rocked with it. He hit every point inside me that had my brain nearly short circuiting with pleasure and I could only moan as he repeated the motions over and over in a steady pace that had another orgasm building before the first one subsided. 

With every forceful thrust he pulled my hips back to meet him so I could feel his pelvis grinding into my ass and the sweet sensation of his balls slapping my clit with mind blowing pleasure. I was lost to everything else, fully unaware of the world around me as my entire world was reduced to the feel of his cock inside me and his body powering over mine. 

When the second orgasm followed the first only minutes later I sobbed out his name which only caused him to fuck me harder, faster, through it until my mind was complete mush. Still he continued with a steady pace, releasing my hair so he could grab both of my hips in a bruising grip. Every trust had me crying out in a mixture of pleasure and pain, unable to stop it and never wanting to because it was the most glorious experience of my life. 

I lost count of how many times he brought me to pleasure, how many times I sobbed his name out of my lips. My mind turned to mush somewhere after six and still he was pounding into my body like he could go on forever. The sheets beneath my face grew damp with tears and drool as I cried and slobbered, unable to help myself as he truly made a mess of me. Wet sounds echoed through the room with every thrust followed by his words of encouragement and degradation. The grunts and groans from him only heightened my own pleasure until I was nothing and everything all at once, an object for him to use and a goddess for him to worship because that’s what he was doing; worshiping my fucking cervix with every thrust since he sure as fuck was hitting it with that massive cock of his. Every second was a mixture if pain and pleasure blending together in a cacophony of sensations I could barely keep myself upright by the time he decided it was his turn. 

“One more,” he commanded from above me, his words barely registering in my head as he slammed into me. “Come around my cock one more time for me, baby girl. You can do it.”

I whimpered in response, unable to form a coherent reply and unsure if my body could take another one. That’s when he used his powerful grip to adjust the angle of my hips and the next thrust hit something in me that had my entire body spasming. 

“Azriel!” I cried out. 

“There we go,” he grunted, thrusting again and hitting the same spot. “Come for me so I can fill you up, mark you as mine so everyone knows who this sweet pussy belongs to.”

As if my body was his to command I erupted again, everything in me turning to stardust as my universe collapsed and exploded around his cock, rebuilding who I am and who I was becoming all at once. Behind me he let out a curse, his thrusts becoming less rhythmic and harder until he released himself, spilling hot spurts of cum into me until I was so full it started leaking down my thighs. 

Eventually he stilled behind me, his breath ragged and I wasn’t sure if the roaring in my ears was his heartbeat or mine. The gentle brush of his lips down my spine as he pulled out of me drew another whimper from my throat, emotions clogging it over such an gentle and intimate act after the roughness with which he had just handled me.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured softly as he eased my hips down until I was laying facedown on the bed. 

I wanted to roll over, to look up into his own beautiful face and kiss him on his perfect mouth, thank him for what had just happened, but my limbs were complete jello. Every muscle in my body felt like it was quivering and I couldn’t even move my arm let alone my whole body so I lay there unmoving as he withdrew from me. 

The sudden absence of his heat had me wanting to cry out, to beg him to stay, desperate for another moment together so I could feel his skin pressed to mine, and when I couldn’t find the words to ask for that the sound of his retreating footsteps had anxiety creeping back in.