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Alright, folks, I’m sorry, but:

I think it’s time we settled some things, and I think it’s time I get out of here.

By the time you’re reading this, this blog will be under someone else’s control so that it can be locked down and I can be prevented from logging into it. I will not be returning to it; I’m making damn sure I can’t return to it, even if my anxiety demands it.

The fact is, I’m not a good person.

I’ve been responsible for all sorts of havoc behind the scenes here in the Dark Souls community; between the desperate need for validation and the complete inability to let things go, I’ve managed to ruin friendship after friendship and at best get on the nerves of people who care about me. My inability to understand other people on the most basic level has routinely caused me to hurt others in ways I can’t even comprehend.

Rather than continuing to do this every time my brain decides it doesn’t like me at the moment, I’m going to simply remove myself from the equation. I should’ve done this before, so that people who were made uncomfortable by my being around could come back and do their thing, but I didn’t, because I was selfish. This is not a plea for help. I am not a victim. This is a confession of guilt and me finally doing something about it. 

If we’ve met on tumblr, then I think it’s best we part ways. The friends I’ve made here are infinitely important to me, but I am not the person you think I am, and it’s best you not find out who that is.

This blog has been a huge help to me, for the most part, in keeping myself happy, and I hope some of the writing has helped you, too. Thank you for all your time and friendship. You’ve been wonderful.

--Chez

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I remember that hot drabble of the Helena Zelda threesome. 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

(( D: ))

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“archives.”

don’t think.

don’t haunt your own head; don’t wander the halls of your own brain as though you’re  lost somewhere in there, a  ghost of who you were  searching endlessly for who you are.

don’t think.

don’t tear down the cobwebs on old cupboards where you  stashed your framed memories on too many shelves to count. you don’t need to see the faces of people who’ve filtered in and out of your life, leaving traces of themselves on everything about you– you don’t need to remember their faces; you already know their names.

don’t think.

don’t seat yourself in some forgotten corner while you leaf through another book of things you wish you’d said. don’t dwell beneath the towering collection of stories you’ve already read, desperate to find a pattern in all the things you’ve written. don’t look at the name on the spines of  each and every dusty tome you have, because you know very well who wrote  them–some in blood, some in ink– and for the love of god, don’t ever, ever read the dedications.

don’t think.

you know what happens when you think: amid the cluttered libraries and ancient cupboards you find the ghost of who you were  searching endlessly for who you are, and neither of you know where you’re going. 

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You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how could you become new if you have not first become ashes!

Friedrich Nietzsche

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(( Scratch the previous post.

It’s not fair to imply things like that, especially after what this community has been through with several members.

The blog is on temporary hiatus. I’m very sorry for the back and forth. ))

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(( I fear our time is growing short, friends. We’ll clean up and bring to an end any threads as a matter of course, over the next couple of weeks; once the show is over I’ll have more time to put into replies, so don’t worry, your arc will finish out.

The long and short of it is that I’ve made up my mind not to deal with certain things any further; the repetition of cycles and patterns has made problems I have obvious to me and I do not know how to fix them, nor do I have the willpower to see these changes through.

The blog will not be deleted, but left so that the excellent writing of other people will not disappear; I will not entertain any questions about my mental state or plans, nor comment further. For all intents and purposes, this is your only warning. 

Thank you. ))

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Reblog if (ง︡’-‘︠)ง

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(( OPENING NIGHT WAS GREAT. ))

Intermission nonsense.

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blog status, vol. whatever

(( Okay so I’m in a play

This play currently has me rehearsing from 5 - midnight most nights; tomorrow we open, which as a rule means show + after party.

During the day I’m working, then going to the show, then coming home and going the hell to sleep.

Replies will resume when they can; beginning next Sunday I’ll have a few days in a row to myself. ))

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sometimes i miss you

but then i remember how bad you are to me ~

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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there’s nothing but light when I see you.

Shinji Moon (via wordsnquotes)

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(( this is why I’ve been so busy and not posting as much–I’m in a play!))

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iamnyanpi

sleepy bunny *:｡(´ㅅ`    )

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