thunderheadfred - Tumblr blog

[thunderheadfred]

Nearly dumped an entire tray of plants off the deck because the leg of my little collapsible half-circle bistro table must not have been in the right position.

the sheer terror in my voice aaaaAaaaaaAAAAAAA???

fortunately everyone survived and no one was thrown over the railing, and I scooped most of the spilled potting mix back up, which wasn’t really the best idea, but I was too tired to run and get more, so hopefully nobody gets sick from the mix getting contaminated… 😰

Cabbages and Swiss Chard: fall over

Shrieking pregnant woman: MY ACTUAL CHILDREN!!1!-!?!!

[thunderheadfred]

it is all out war with the swarm of tiny flies or gnats that have arrived at my compost bin. They weren't a problem last year, but I also didn't have this tumbler in the spring, so maybe they will go away as the weather heats up. So far on day one, I have deployed sticky traps, vinegar traps, and organic soap spray. Their numbers are already dwindling. especially on the sticky paper... It's pretty gross actually.

[thunderheadfred]

Giacomo Balla. "Dynamism of a Dog on a Leash" 1912.

[thunderheadfred]

I don't know how, but somehow my dad cleared out ALL the carpet from this room today. It's the first time it hasn't reeked of whatever horrible crimes the previous owners committed in here (namely water damage and pet pee that ripens and smells worse every spring when the slab warms, which is why we've almost never used our lower floor for anything)

We have acquired vinyl planks and will be sterilizing and re-flooring this room and our two bathrooms, which both have cracked 40-year-old tile.

As always, Yogurt inspects.

[thunderheadfred]

[thunderheadfred]

I have no idea what spammy mobile game this ad is for and I’m not clicking to find out. But still. The answer is obviously yes.

[thunderheadfred]

ooh, now she's Fancy

Nail storage cabinet is nearly ready for nail things! I probably can’t even fill half of this yet, but the other half can happily hold office things! I still have leather drawer pulls to put on, but I’m waiting on some extra hardware to reverse-engineer them, since the drawer fronts are so thin.

Apparently all the other trendy nail people use these metal IKEA HELMER cabinets - indeed they look super satisfying when filled with polishes - so I got a color that is getting discontinued and was like $30 cheaper, then covered the drawer fronts with peel-and-stick vinyl wallpaper.

Getting this bitch pattern-matched with pregnancy brain took an embarrassingly long time, but I did it.

[thunderheadfred]

Whenever I worry irrationally that I’ve like, bent over too far or coughed too hard or sat in the same position too long or smelled a smell that insta-kills unborn babies, my sweet soon-to-be-summer-child winds up and sucker punches me directly in the organs like “FEAR NOT MOTHER I I AM HERE”

[thunderheadfred]

His and Hers lazy lap cats

Definitely recommend this hot pad for pregnant bellies! Stays warm for hours and has a gentle vibrate function to help with sore pelvic joints! Very soothing 10/10

[thunderheadfred]

Nail storage cabinet is nearly ready for nail things! I probably can’t even fill half of this yet, but the other half can happily hold office things! I still have leather drawer pulls to put on, but I’m waiting on some extra hardware to reverse-engineer them, since the drawer fronts are so thin.

Apparently all the other trendy nail people use these metal IKEA HELMER cabinets - indeed they look super satisfying when filled with polishes - so I got a color that is getting discontinued and was like $30 cheaper, then covered the drawer fronts with peel-and-stick vinyl wallpaper.

Getting this bitch pattern-matched with pregnancy brain took an embarrassingly long time, but I did it.

[thunderheadfred]

[thunderheadfred]

Doubling up my sertraline dose for this last trimester and postpartum, on the recommendation of the midwives. I do think I've been feeling the new imbalance over the last few weeks especially. Extra weight and blood volume means that the low starter dose I've been on for years just isn't cutting it anymore. I've been doing so well with my capital-D Depression for the last few years, I sort of forgot what this lack felt like. Today I said to my partner, that even after having a spiritual awakening or whatever the fuck happened to me last summer, I still have to recognize my physical body has this chemical imbalance. The inherited biological wackiness of my brain is not magically fixed by wisdom or meditation or... really much of anything except a re-balancing of chemicals that it fails to produce on its own. I can help that along holistically with diet and other habits to reinforce a healthier hormone balance, but the majority of the weight is pulled by a single tiny pill. It's good to remind myself of this, and to remember to take the damn pills so you can remember why life is worth living???

[thunderheadfred]

I've been a real whiner lately, which usually means I need to spend more time outdoors with plants. The tree that was split by the harsh winter freezes has started blooming before all the others, as if in defiance of its injury. Its leaves will shade the area over my rocking chair, where I will nurse my baby later this summer. I'm grateful for it teaching me strength and resilience.

My seedlings are all doing well; I've had nearly 100% germination with my indoor starts. This week I started hardening them off outside. My direct sown seeds have been covered for these last few spring freezes, and seem to be coming along. So far, the radishes, arugula, and spinach are popping up. I'm grateful for them teaching me excitement and innocence.

The biggest sprout of all - baby - is also growing nicely. She's active and healthy, doing everything according to schedule. Even if I've been struggling, I'm eternally grateful none of that has gotten into her little seed pod. Only a few more months until we can all see her blooming in the sunshine. I'm grateful for her teaching me patience and the deep love of Creation.

💚☀️💚

[thunderheadfred]

meanwhile, regarding my 2nd struggle class (5 credits, a huge component of my major, something I Actually Really Care About) things couldn't possibly be more different.

I was trying to negotiate some kind of official extension or incompletion contract ala University Bureaucratic Standards, but my instructor got back to me and he basically said, "I believe you will do the work over the summer and I want you to progress into the next class. I'm assuming you'll keep up with the same level of effort you've always shown me, so I'm giving you an A"

Immediately after getting his email I sobbed for half an hour just because he's such a kind and wonderful human fucking being

I finally caved and admitted to myself that I can't complete one of my courses this semester. Actually, the teacher (a very kind and understanding person) gently suggested my best option was to withdraw, and I finally agreed. I've been fine with two of my classes, but two other ones, including this one, have just completely fallen behind. Moving, not-moving, pregnancy leaving me bedridden for like two months at the height of seasonal depression, COVID taking me all the way out... it got to me.

Anyway, turns out I'm past the withdrawal deadline! because of course I am!!!! I just submitted a one-time late withdrawal request, but have no idea if I already used this up TEN YEARS AGO when i was first trying to get my undergrad??? So if admin denies that request, I have to get COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIP BOARD approval??? God fuck I don't want to go through all that. please just let me drop this one 2-credit half semester course so I can frantically catch up on the one class I actually care about fucking hellllll

[thunderheadfred]

oh my god they're going to make me petition and submit medical documents to drop a 2 credit online course i want to die

I finally caved and admitted to myself that I can't complete one of my courses this semester. Actually, the teacher (a very kind and understanding person) gently suggested my best option was to withdraw, and I finally agreed. I've been fine with two of my classes, but two other ones, including this one, have just completely fallen behind. Moving, not-moving, pregnancy leaving me bedridden for like two months at the height of seasonal depression, COVID taking me all the way out... it got to me.

Anyway, turns out I'm past the withdrawal deadline! because of course I am!!!! I just submitted a one-time late withdrawal request, but have no idea if I already used this up TEN YEARS AGO when i was first trying to get my undergrad??? So if admin denies that request, I have to get COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIP BOARD approval??? God fuck I don't want to go through all that. please just let me drop this one 2-credit half semester course so I can frantically catch up on the one class I actually care about fucking hellllll

[thunderheadfred]

Update: I passed. No gestational diabetes, hooray! They're also adjusting my meds. Double hooray!

I have to get up early tomorrow for a 3-hour trip to the birth center for glucose testing, and obviously I don't want to do that because who would? so I started to say to my partner, "will you bribe me out of bed tomorrow with some breakfast?" only to catch myself mid-sentence. Like, betch. It's a fucking fasting glucose test. You can't have a lovingly-toasted bagel first.

[thunderheadfred]

WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? GREATEST HITS of WESTERNS