tiagems

[tiagems]

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

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yknow, rusty quill, if you've ever got a weekend free I don't think it's too late to sneakily re-record the statement from mag 157 with a voice actor for adelard dekker and just quietly edit it in. it's only been out for, what, five and a half years? that's barely anything if you think about it.

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tumblr glitched and now there’s just a guy in the void

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I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”

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you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

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just saw the first street mattress of the season! rejoice, bostonia; the harvest draws near

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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

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season 1: I'm Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of Magnus Institute, London. My professional opinion is that this is all horseshit and everyone that isn't me needs psychiatric help. Statement ends.

season 2: Supplemental: God lives inside the printer and he keeps telling me my assistants are murderers. I am inclined to believe him based on the fact that Martin told to have a nice day. Innately suspicious behavior.

season 3: My only friends are my ex-girlfriend, her cat, and the many scars I've gotten from various monsters and fear cultists.

season 4: You know, just being socially adept would solve a lot of my problems. Unfortunately, I was traumatized so thoroughly by age eight that I learned the best way to make friends is to blink at them slowly until they get the idea. This does not work when your evil patron god uses eyeballs to devour fear.

season 5: Either Jonah Magnus tells us where he took all the good cows, or my boyfriend and I bash his head in with a lead crowbar. It's his choice.

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Former living weapon absolutely dominating at laser tag

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dogs might look like their owners but cat people always have a cat with the same mental illness as them

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can i have a cigarette?

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“imagine caring so much about fiction” imagine being so lame that you scoff at the timeless human practice of falling in love with art and stories

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People really love making so many excuses as to why they refuse to use the correct pronouns of a canonical enby it seems

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I think if this happened, I'd assume someone else took Aster over Invasion Of The Body Snatchers style bc that would mean that Isla would lose both boys and Aster is allergic to the idea of Isla not being The Specialest Special to ever Special

Also that would mean having more than one token queer and I don't think that Aster can conceive that more than one bisexual can exist in a cast at once, let alone fall in love with each other

hello yes I’m actually dreamy from ao3 but like I found this comment and IM LAUGHING HELP ME. how would you feel if this actually happened (as an only child Isla is annoying as hell I’m sorry)

if this happened i would think that aster has found my fanfiction im going to be so real. i hate her so much and i dont think this would happen... but if in some world it did,,,, i think i would actually be more angry because it would so clearly be another thing that she pulled out of her ass and it would upset me i think

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It also absolves them of accountability when they do something heinous, because they're so deep in their mentality that women are only ever victims and men are only ever predators that they literally cannot conceive that it's a power imbalance and not fucking gender roles

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