ticktocksideblog

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@hikarirose

Undersea Sleepover

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@hikarirose

i hate when men complain about women’s body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless

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@hikarirose

*puts a disk in u*

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@hikarirose

MY OVARIES!!!!!!

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happy birthday to the only song

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This is the best one

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It's the last day of April

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everyone make sure to set out cheese & crackers for neil tonight <3

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Quick what are you doing RIGHT now (besides scrolling Tumblr)

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if you're struggling to make a decision, I recommend taking a break and jacking off. it won't help with the decision but at least you'll have jacked off.

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@hikarirose THEY GAVE HIM A HYSTERECTOMY

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

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You can only REBLOG THIS TODAY

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how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

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its really telling where you learned about lapis lazuli. put yours in the tags

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