she/they i may post nsfw joke/WIP from time to time, I'll tag it nsfw tho BBC merlin/merthur enthusiasts rn. Naruto, one piece, DCMK, Bleach @tifacart for art!
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*eminem voice* *falls into a hole in a sewer grate before saying anything*
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do it scared. do it whimpering. do it whining and pleading. do it with a raging hard-on
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📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you are intrinsically evil
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actually we should start headcanoning female characters as being terrible with children
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So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.
So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.
She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.
He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...
"Oh you have a dick?"
"... yeah."
He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says
"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"
And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.
My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"
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req'd by @local-littleguy
SHIMP! SHIMP! SHIMP!
text: love this animal. the shimp.
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