tikilimawmaw

[tikilimawmaw]

04.02.18 0055

Ayoko na sa iyo Ilang beses pa bang uulitin? Ilang beses pa bang hihintayin? "Pero ayoko na talaga," Ang sabi mo sa akin At eto naman akong umaasang Ako'y magigising 'To'y masamang panaginip At ako'y yakap mo pa At hahagkan kita At sasabihin na mahal na mahal natin ang isa't-isa Pero ayoko na din sa iyo Ilang beses pa bang luluha? Tama na ang pagpapakatanga Pero ayoko na talaga, Ang sabi ko sa hangin At eto na naman akong umaasang Bukas ay darating sa aking panalangin At ako'y malaya na't Mahahanap mo na Ang kaligayahan na hindi natin nakita sa isa't-isa Ang sabi mo sa akin "Mawawala ang lahat ng problemang ating haharapin, Maniwala ka sa 'kin" Ako'y mumulat na At sana nga'y wala nang maniwala sa 'yo Kahit ano pang dumating Hindi guguho ang damdamin Hindi ako susuko Masdan mo ang aking pagbangon

[tikilimawmaw]

12.05.17 0755

what perfect coincidence this rain is after the migration-- birds abandoning the leafless twists where once the swallows are delighted by the green, and until the last day when the nimbus shall leave and the swallows return, this bud will wait. it'll bloom upon the perching, or they'll perch upon the blooming, or both, in this perfect coincidence.

[tikilimawmaw]

Day 5. Long.

"I long for my long dog"

Exaggerations for a drama queen. King. Whatever.

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Day 4. Underwater.

"Generic Sea Monster"

Uninspired. But had fun doing it anyway.

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Day 3. Poison.

"More"

in low res. Frustrations.

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Day 2. Divided.

"Remainder One" in low res

Ink + pencil because I'm lazy like that.

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Day 1

I should've drawn a coursing river. 

Doing the prompts. One day delayed. Low res. SIGH

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05.31.17 2224

I told myself,

One day I will leave this town

I'll be smarter, don't

Know how

There's a fire getting in my way

I told mama, 

One day I will find a man

He'll be strong and handsome, and

Different from the men who

Made us stay

One day they will see us

We are more than land of sadness

We are more than land of war

We are more than what they think we are

One day we will tell them

We are more than land forsaken

We are more than land forgotten

We are more than land.

I told myself,

One day I will come back home

Greet all people that I've known

But the roads don't

Look like they will stay

[tikilimawmaw]

05.31.17 1512

Just another sunny January afternoon

Thought I won't give fucks today

But, whoops, I spoke too soon

Now the only reason I go to the gym is

Cause I wanna see him pushing,

Pulling, working that body

I don't need to tell him

I kinda admire him when he perspires

But I'd be lying if I won't tell

That I hate them perfect boys like models

And as soon as I'm done objectifying them

I sure will be sending them straight to hell

Because when you got a crippling insecurity

From the waist, above

And when you finally meet him

Will you panic and run? 

Will you fall in love?

When I stand in front of the mirror in a happy mood

I'd pat myself and say,

"No one can look this good!"

But now the reason I got to the gym

Is cause I wanna beat him

I'll be strong and I will be wanted 

But for now, I'm still thin

I'll start up a fire to burn my desires

But I'd be lying if I won't tell

That I'd rather stay home, watch Top Model

And as soon as I'm done, I'm not sure when

I'll be in the kitchen

Because when I got a crippling insecurity

From the waist, above

And when I finally meet him 

Will I panic and run?

Will I fall in love with you, you

Got me sending my esteem down low and 

My hopes way up 

And when you finally meet me

Will you panic and run?

Will you fall in love?

Just another boy who got me feeling down and up

Will I panic, run, or

Will I fall in love?

[tikilimawmaw]

08.22.17 0854

I heard you've grown up

You said you'd changed

They say your hair is now silver

from the light of the sun to the moon

Like I've always liked you

And back before I knew what's up

I said your name

They say you're leaving

It's been six months

I've been dreading for that day

Cause the last time I saw you 

You were beautiful as the break of the dawn

(If it wore braces)

You were still taller than me,

That I've known for many years

For all the minutes I was writing this song

I can't tell you how much I...

That I...

I...

So before you fly and

Before I sink back below

Don't wave goodbye,

Kiss me like you kissed me hello

In case it rains, or shall the world end

Just please let me see you again

You heard nothing from me 

Like mm-mm-mm

It's not like you're waiting for me

But, God, I've been waiting for someone

Cause the first time I saw you 

Doesn't matter anymore

And the first time kept me wanting for more

It's not the first time I write you a song

I still can't tell you how much I...

That I...

I...

Anyways, before you fly and

Before I sink back below

Don't wave goodbye

Kiss me like you kissed me hello

In case it rains, or worse, shall the world end

Just please let me see you again

God, please let me see him again

I heard you've found the one

And I was just gone

I walked by your house

But you were just gone

And now my time's gone

I still can't tell you how much I...

That I l...

I lo...

Before you fly and

Before I sink back below

Don't wave goodbye

Kiss me like you kissed me hello

In case it rains, or shall the world end

Might the heavens fall

Shall it all go well

Let me see you again

Just please let me see you again

God, please let me see you again

[tikilimawmaw]

05.29.17 1805

Pretty boy from the party

I don't like small talks

Yes, you can take me for a walk

Brought my cup in a hurry

Do you want it though?

Wow, you drank it in one go

What a knockout, non-teetotaler

You remind me of my dad

Not in that way! What I want to say is

That I like you so bad

I never knew what I wanted

Til you came into my life

I don't need to know why

I'll never ever feel sad

Hide our kisses from your dad

Hide me from my mom

Hide your your perfect body from some girls

Smoking in the party

They'll get in the way

When we start making memories

Like the night if kissing, touching, flirting

Until it was three

Or that night you stole my nerdy shirt

Fits his biceps perfectly

He even wears it better than

When I wear it it to school

Oh his hair is so cool

I love it long and curly

Wake me up when I'm tired

Take me anywhere

You know your smile is my home

Let me love you completely

I will wait here patiently 

Until you open the door

I will clean up the floor

Pick up all of the bottles you drank from

And problems you had from last night

When we both lost a fight

We'll make everything right

If we can't then we'll just stay strong

Pretty boy from the party

Take me anywhere

You know your smile is my home

[tikilimawmaw]

05.28.17 1639

I was born here in my little Jerusalem

We were told, "It's good; it's great; it gives!"

And the old men--they were wise;

Be just like them

While the women talk and pray and kiss

All the children sing aloud again and again

Different music shakes them different hips

While they learn the classics of Jerusalem,

Nothing good comes out of my own lips

(Hallelujah! Blessings for those who stay in our land!)

Everybody's singing in Jerusalem

Everybody wants the microphone

What's the song you chose for me, Jerusalem,

When I take the stage and I sing alone?

We clean the temple, wipe the table, lock the den

For that, we eat a giant loaf of bread (yum!)

But Regine, my neighbor in Jerusalem

She never starves, but she never breaks a sweat (hmmp)

(Hallelujah! Hell for those who walked out of our land!)

Everybody's singing in Jerusalem 

Everybody wants the microphone

If the song you chose for me, Jerusalem,

Is not the song I want to hear,

It's not the song I want to sing

To everybody dancing in Jerusalem

Everybody's got what they're asking for

But nobody will believe when I tell them,

"Look around you, people, there is no dancefloor!"

Everybody's dancing in Jerusalem

Everybody's got what they're asking for

If I ever leave my own Jerusalem

Will I lose everything or will I be more?

[tikilimawmaw]

05.23.17 0112

I am the son of the day

Yet from the sun I hide away

The high noon has passed,

The dusk fell too fast,

Now the moon--it refuses.

I'm the bane of the unknown

like the future I cannot own

The crickets, they whisper

their song, it gets louder

Now the night--it seduces me.

When the shadows shed light

When the fog gives me sight

It seduces me

When the frost gives me warmth

as I unfold my arms

Oh the night has found me.

[tikilimawmaw]

Thirty pieces of silver

I'd like to return:

One for each of my brothers

To pay for what I stole

But for everything else that

     I took away from them

I can't give anymore

An extra piece for Thomas

And all other skeptics out there

And one more for John,

He who loves, he who cares

One for every Jew oppressed 

and for every Gentile converted

Had I the power to multiply these

As You had with fish and bread

One for every passing child

For they would not believe,

as I had not believed,

That I truly loved You

But I know no silver could ever buy back

The kiss I left, the one

 You welcomed so innocently

(that I thought you'd turn the other cheek)

I am still in debt, Rabbi.

Rabbi. My Lord. My God, I don't know!

You had the heart of a Zealot,

The Maccabean spirit which I would follow

     til Kingdom come

Was I not awakened when You called me?

Was I not happy despite the prophecy:

You, son of God,

I, son of perdition?

You taught us love, forgiveness, compassion

But Jesus Christ, you are so hard to love!

Pharisees piqued; what ridiculous hypocrisy!

Hard to believe one man

Could flip the entire Chosen Land

I was wrong about You

Up until my last breath I was wrong

I cried, my Lord, I fucking cried!

But is thirty pieces still worth our pain

After You and I died?

Thirty pieces of silver

It simply doesn't end

And one question still remains:

Will the world change

Had You and I stayed friends?

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by Inken Stabell

tumblr website

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reblogging just because

Last night my dream said that my life ended, but I didn’t die. It just told me to buy the full version of my life cuz the 30-day trial ended.