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Modern AU where Doflamingo is the goose on college campus who spends his days harassing students and staff. Nicknamed Doflamingoose.

They start a “Goose Watch” segment in the college newspaper

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High intelligence characters can roll to figure out they’re in a game, while high wisdom ones can roll to notice the real world. In addition, high dexterity characters can roll to hide from the GM, high constitution characters can roll to resist the control, high charisma characters can roll to tell the player what to do and high strength characters can roll to punch through the fourth wall and beat the crap out of the chucklefucks who are controlling their life.

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had a dream griffin mcelroy was giving tours at the aquarium as like a special guest kind of thing and every time he’d stop in front of an animal he’d be like “alright gang gather round. i have no idea what the FUCK this is” and then we’d move on

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Usopp: At this point we aren't just flirting with disaster. We're rounding third base and asking if disaster has any condoms

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he legy 

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when i was a kid i thought i was homophobic for wishing i was a lesbian because lesbians are oppressed so it felt disrespectful to want to be one. which means i spent years feeling guilty for being homophobic but turns out i’m just an idiot who was a lesbian the whole time

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The Fates but instead of three old ladies they’re the McElroy brothers

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odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

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are you okay

is anyone

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since we’re on the subject of james acaster, this is hands down the funniest joke in repertoire and it gets me every single fuckin time and i can’t even explain why it’s so funny

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historical text: contains the word “urinomancy”

rational brain: This is the medieval word for the medical evaluation of urine, which was an important source of information before the era of modern medical tests.

me, beating my fists on the table: PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD PISS WIZARD

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trans girls’ voices are sooooo pretty and nice to hear i have never heard a trans woman’s voice that i would not listen to for ages