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tiny-minecraft-rabbit · 10 days ago

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HI yes I just read this entire thing in one sitting and everyone else should too. The angst is minor and the comedy is so fucking funny I want to cry with laughter. They're both stupid as hell.

Bamboozled by the Bird

Chapter 6

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Summary: Tango is the muscle for the Tuff Guys, a gang that deals primarily in money lending. How he got here he can't remember anymore, and his only moments of respite from his awful job is hanging out with Scarland's accident-prone mascot. His life gets infinitely more complicated though, after he's assigned to put the pressure on a new client who seems to know way too much about him. The situation quickly escalates from there in ways Tango could have never imagined.

Ships: Jimmy/Tango (romantic(?)), Bdubs & Etho & Skizz & Tango (frienemies), Jimmy & Lizzie (familial)

Warnings: Organized crime, Violence, Extortion, Threats, Hidden identity, Theft, Self-hatred, Child endangerment

Tango was balancing two large pizzas and a box of cinnamon sticks in one hand, and his phone an a carton of hot wings in the other, trying to type out a message to Etho through the grease, when he heard a familiar screech. It echoed through the street, turning several heads and nearly toppling the pizza. He looked up and across the street. Sure enough, there was the giant blue bird head up against the Scarland walls. It'd become a regular sight, though not usually like this, when Tango wasn't looking for him. On occasion the ascot was sent out to interact with the queues, he knew that much. But Solidarity was several metres away, and not giving it any mind. Tango's eyes narrowed, and eventually he gave in to curiosity.

He was glad he did. The source of the screech was a group of children, around six or seven years old, all in the process of trying to climb the mascot. No doubt they'd run off from their parents in line to greet Solidarity. They were getting rambunctious, however, and Solidarity hardly seemed in control. One of the kids yanked on his big yellow cheek. The head tilted, a gap forming in the neck. Tango panicked.

"Hey, hey, you're gonna hurt him doing that! Watchificate it there!" He sprinted over, hurriedly dropping his food and just barely making it i time to snatch up the little girl before anything happened. Though a pout and cranky whine was directed at him, she let him place her back on the ground without hassle. Solidarity managed to shake off the other two to adjust his head.

"My mom says we're going to ride the Bamboozler with Solidarity!" The youngest child declared, hiding behind the little girl.

Tango raised his brow, "Yeah? Well, then you should be extra super mega careful then. Solidarity's the one that makes it go! If he gets hurt, no ride."

The children went quiet. They stared him down, a particularly judgmental council trying to deduce if he was telling the truth. Like a hive mind they all turned to Solidarity for the final word. Though a bit ruffled up, he stood tall and declared. "That's right! It's my special coaster. I control everything!"

"Even without fingers?" The girl asked, crossing her arms. Solidarity waggled his feathers.

"Yep!"

The youngest leaned in, brow held low and expression serious. "Even without pants?"

The mascot jumped, letting out his signature squawk, before his wings flew to cover his yellow bird legs. "Oh, dear! I suppose I'll have to!"

He got a grim nod from the trio. The sort of respect only children and war veterans could muster filled their gazes. They all saluted the mascot and ran back towards the line where a tired looking woman was calling to them. They Jumped and shouted as they explained their encounter. A snort escaped him. Whether they really believed their story or just wanted to badly enough, they'd bought it at least.

When he turned back to Solidarity, the parrot was still, beady eyes on him. "What?" asked Tango, shoving his hands into his pocket.

"You were good with those kids." Said the mascot, almost accusatory.

The pizzas came to mind. Best to collect them before rats appeared. He pulled at his collar, trying to hide his face from the hot afternoon sun burning his cheeks. "There something wrong with that?"

"Last time I saw you with kids you threatened them."

"Those weren't kids, those were drunk college students." Possibly teenagers, but who knew for sure? The point was they were annoying and should know better. "Besides, I mean... They're just kids?" Did he really look that much of a mean guy? He wasn't a fan of kids but who'd be mean to a kid? Life sucked enough. "Not like they know better..." Heat rose to his cheeks, and his hand went to the back of his neck.

Solidarity's head tilted to the side. That was how Tango knew he was hanging around the mascot too much, because the action was almost cute. "Well, I appreciate the help."

"Yeah, yeah." Tango grumbled, heaving up the pizzas. "I gotta head out. See you some other time. Probably tomorrow."

Solidarity gave him an uncharacteristically subdued wave, before he spun on his heel and marched up to the line to do his job. It wasn't his problem, he had pizzas to deliver. Even if it gnawed at his brain and he couldn't quite come up with a reason that seemed good enough to leave. There was a long list, but did getting the crap beat out of him really compare to having possibly somehow upset his only friend? Well, yes, of course. Except no, it didn't.

Tango pressed his forehead into the hot, greasy cardboard of the pizza box. What was wrong with him? Something curable with hot wings, hopefully. For his sake. If not, then one way or another his days were numbered.

Little had he known, that number was one.

Backstage was completely empty. Well, not entirely empty. A few operators and cashiers meandered around and there was a supply truck in the corner. In fact, it might have been busier than usual. But Solidarity wasn't there, so it might as well have been empty.

Except the part where Tango was standing in the entrance, awkwardly holding out his phone with a text left unread for over three hours, and people were beginning to stare. He hissed at himself, ducking into the shadows with pink cheeks. You're acting like a clingy girlfriend looking for her meal ticket, not a washed up middle aged man stalking a carny. Did mascots count as carnies? Did theme park count as carnivals? Was it the ephemeral nature of a true carnival which distinguished it from its more permanent counterpart, or was it the presence of parking lines under the tents? All excellent questions to ponder while he attempted to be inconspicuous while wearing neon red glasses and a leather jacket in summer.

It did not work. Tango was mid-pretending to scroll through messages when two deep blue eyes locked with his across the way. Pink curls swayed in the wind, half-buttoned lime green vest forgotten. A deep, unforgiving frown tracked his every motion. Finally, when Tango thought he really might be having his brain psychically microwaved, the woman jerked to the side and made a beeline for Tango, several words already on his tongue.

"Excuse me!" She snapped. Her hands jumped to her hips the moment she stopped. "You can't be back here!"

He threw up a placating hand, "I'm, um, just a friend of Solidarity's. I'll be outta your hair soon."

"Solidarity?" The name fell from he mouth like it stung her tongue. "Well, he's not here, he's, um- he's working. An extra special job today, in fact!"

Working? "It's his break time, ain't it?" His head lulled to look down at his watch. It was most definitely his break time, though on occasion he had needed to take his break at a different time. "I can just wait-"

"Oh, no you cannot!" Her face twisted. Tango was suddenly transported back to second grade getting caught daring another kid to drink a bottle of glue. The lady even wagged her finger at him like a teacher. Though, there was a strange tremble to her words. "This is employees only! Got it? Get out before I call security!"

Security... A snort escaped him as he recalled the first time he'd met Solidarity. "That's who I'm here to see," he joked under his breath even as he turned towards the gate. Not that the woman was particularly intimidating, but the last thing Tango wanted to do was get his friend in trouble for letting shady freaks in. The woman shooed him out, snapping and jeering like an old cartoon character with each step she deemed too slow.

Gates slammed against his back the moment his shoes crossed the threshold. Pinky glared at him through the bars, pointing two fingers at her eyes then to him, before she slowly backed away. Right into a bench. Tango watched with morbid fascination as her legs flailed and went right over her head. She popped up once more, hair everywhere and clothing skewed, but her eyes still burned into him as if it were somehow his fault. That was when Tango decided it was best to walk away. He did not get paid enough to waste his free time on this crap.

A somewhat gloomy weekday, the park was not overflowing as it often did. When Tango passed by the turnstiles, in fact, he could actually see the ticket vendors. Maybe a couple minutes to get in at worst, only bolstered by the fair being held, as the many signs informed.

They have, like, thirty food vendors, Solidarity had texted him not long ago. He'd never really visited Scarland despite having lived somewhere within twenty minutes away from it his whole adult life. The park opened long after he was the age one typically went with their parents, and he was luckily never stupid enough to drag a child into his mess of a life.

He stretched his neck over the crowd, but spotted no blue mascot beyond the gate. Of course he wouldn't just be standing there.

A child in line was staring up at him, brow furrowed in suspicion. In the near distance the Bamboozler hit its first drop, a cacophony of children screeching for their lives as the coaster plummeted.

"I can do what I want." Tango muttered to himself as he slunk to the back of the line. "Sounds fun. I'm hungry. Nothin' better to do. I can do what I want..." It was his chant, even as he waited more than ten minutes in line, handed over an extortionate amount of money for a ticket, and stood aimlessly in the front plaza.

... Now what?

Now he texted Solidarity, inevitably left on read until the parrot mascot got off work.

You: I guess fifty bucks is the price to see you

It wasn't as funny as it had been in Tango's head. Especially not after rewriting it four times to try and make it not sound like a stalker's threat. Not that he succeeded. Tango shoved his phone into his pocket and shuffled forward towards the nearest ride ticket booth. If he was in here already he might as well actually enjoy it. As much as a joyless grump like him could.

How much his stomach could stand, though, that Tango wasn't sure of. It felt like a waste to not try the Bamboozler at least once, being the park's star attraction, but perhaps it was best to test himself first. So, he headed to the Adventures Isle. Not too fast, and plenty quick with its large minecart themed seats that were five rows and three seats across. If he kept his eyes peering out to the rest of the park that was no one's business. Tango parked himself in a relatively short line for the volcano ride behind a tall man and his, thankfully, well behaved son.

The blond boy leapt up and down, but never pushed ahead, or even spoke. Much better than the children farther ahead despite how young he clearly was. Or maybe not. A gesture, finger tapping on his arm that was hazily familiar, made Tango wonder how voluntary the quiet was. His guardian wasn't paying attention, hunched over his phone. His brown, fish themed bucket hat hid him from the world. Very responsible. There was something familiar about the man's shoulders, something Tango could not quite pin...

... The default text alert blared.

"Shit!" Tango hissed, snatching up his phone and jumped to his texts to turn it off, then pulled down the volume sliders to turn it to vibrate. Language! His own brain provided in the absence of its deliverer. A muttered apology left him, barely comprehensible to himself, as he finally got to actually reading the message.

Solidarity: What does that mean??

Tango snorted to himself. Yeah, that was about the response he expected.

You: Nothing, your ticket prices are just ridiculous

Bright wide eyes stared at him from over the edge of his phone. From the angle of his dad's body he was also looking back at Tango. Shoot, maybe the kid wasn't as deaf as Tango thought. He jerked back, spine straight, "Sorry about that..."

A deer. Caught in headlights, is what Tango saw. Except Tango was the headlights.

Jimmy let out a noise previously only heard from a broken flute.

And now they were both deer.

The park did not have time for deer. "Alright, move on up please!" The ride operator called. A large gap straight to the entrance of the coaster had formed in front of Jimmy and the child. He didn't have to be told twice, speed walking forward while he forced the boy in front of him.

Unfortunately, in his daze Tango also simply did as told and marched after them. The operator pushed him into the loading area, and her assistant guided Tango to the front row of five. The front row with three seats, two of which were now occupied. Tango let himself be sat down beside the wide eyed blond boy. On the boy's other side Jimmy pulled his hat brim down as far as he could and latched onto the child's wrist. The safety bar descended.

"What are you doing here?"

Tango thought it, but the words had left Jimmy's mouth first. He laughed, no amusement behind it. "Me? Oh-" He glanced down at the boy. He was definitely listening to Tango. "Well, it's my day off. What are you doing here?"

Jimmy's eyes burned with something. Too bold, but Tango could hardly try to do his job and correct him with a gaggle of people, a safety bar, and child between them. Perhaps Jimmy knew that.

"I'm- Babysitting."

"Babysitting." Tango repeated, the word split as the coaster jerked to life.

"I'm quite good at it too, you know. A very important source of my income."

Despite the vague wording, the similarities between the boy and him were obvious. He might not be Jimmy's son, but they had to be related. Perhaps Jimmy suspected he would say as such, and that was the reason he stressed the last word so painfully.

The kid signed something at Jimmy. Something with who in it. Tango took a shot in the dark and flung his hands out where the kid could see them. Tango. That seemed good enough to the boy. That, or he no longer cared with the arrival of the first incline, wiggling in his seat with excitement as their cart was swallowed up by the artificial cave. The last thing Tango saw before the lights dimmed to only a glow was Jimmy's hawkish eyes peaking out from under his cap into Tango's soul. And though it might simply be because he was a coward, Tango got the distinct feeling he would not be facing the sobbing chicken he knew well by now if he went forward with his usual shtick.

It was quite the catch-22. No way to put his client in his place without leaving in cuffs. No way to leave said client with the right impression if he didn't. Etho would just have to forgive him for going with the option that didn't ruin his entire life and risk drawing unwanted attention to their very legal business.

Thoughts went out the window with a pterodactyl flying barely five feet overhead. The cave burst to life around them, revealing a tropical hidden dino world. A canopy of animatronic long-necks pulled back to reveal a man in a classic beige jungle exploration suit dangling for his life on the tallest of them. A triceratops stomped its feet as they went over the first shallow waterfall.

The boy threw up his hands despite only dropping maybe five feet, swaying with the world's slowest and gentlest rapids. Music blared between the shouts of the various characters. It was an admirable feat of engineering, the ride. Tango had expected something worn out and cheap from the reputation of the park owner, but not a single thing that looked like it might move didn't. Dino eggs hatched into the cutest little raptors, proto-birds soared in a large flock, and a thagomizer whipped out to break open a cavern wall to let them pass. Indeed, when the cart came to the final fall and slowed to a terrifying crawl as they tipped over only to reveal the awaiting maw of a t-rex, Tango felt the adrenaline rush through him and join in on the screams of his fellow riders.

Water splashed up, soaking the three front rowers the worst, much to the boy's terrified delight. They were saved from their fate by a track supported on the back of a different dinosaur. The surrounding swiftly turned from forest cave to lava field. They climbed, higher and higher, until the cart burst out the top of the volcano. Jimmy's arms stretched out around the little one. A very manly scream- from who? Probably both- filled the air, stolen away by the wind as they dropped down the exploding mountain.

Then, it was over. The cart pulled out of the obsidian field into the loading bay, bars rising up. The exit was on Jimmy's side, and Tango winced as the gangly man nearly tripped over himself getting out. Whatever dizziness he felt wasn't enough to stop him from snatching up the boy from his own seat. Tango tumbled out after them, dodging the crowd of small children to reach the exit gate first.

Jimmy hadn't gotten far. Just around the corner was a conveniently placed photo booth, ridiculous prices holding precious moments hostage. screens showed off the same moment from the last several rides. The boy pointed at one, and Jimmy's face twisted. It was there's. Jimmy, expression screwed in an exaggerated scream, one hand clinging to his hat for dear life and the other across the boy's front instinctively, the kid with his own arms in the air with his eyes blown wide, and Tango. He stuck out like a sore thumb, clearly not dressed for a day of fun and looking, accurately, like he hadn't had one in a decade. His expression was more constipated than anything. But that was probably not what Jimmy was so concerned about. Tango couldn't help sympathizing. He's crashed their trip.

Despite his presence in the photos, at the continued pointing of the boy, Jimmy sighed. "Oh, alright."

No money or card was handed over to the vendor, though. Instead, the little guy stuck out his wrist. The band around the scrawny thing was not the same indestructible coloured paper slapped around Tango and Jimmy's, but a hard plastic decorated with the visage of Princess Jellie. A scanner bumped against it, the vendor's customer service smile momentarily stretching into something slightly less fake while they grabbed for a folder. Jimmy and the boy exchanged grins, the sort no one would dare make with Tango in the room.

As curious as he was, Tango was suddenly painfully aware he should not be here.

He tried, then, to slink off. The plan was bamboozled, though. Grabby little fingers snapped closed around his sleeve. Both adults made a noise at the boy in the taller's arms. Brows scrunched up into something determined. "Hermes." Jimmy whispered urgently. The boy- Hermes- let go to sign rapidly at his guardian. From the look on Jimmy's face he, too, found it difficult to keep up with each sign, but Tango got the unfortunate gist of it from the few he could pick out.

He's a friend... less breaks...

"Friend might be a strong word, kid." Tango said. "We're more like... Work buddies."

Jimmy didn't like that answer even more than Hermes. Still, Hermes signed, free rides! Then latched onto Tango's sleeve once more. That was almost certainly not how it worked, judging by the ticket card sticking out of Jimmy's back pocket, but the kid didn't relent.

"Alright..."

Tango and Hermes both jerked their shocked expressions over to Jimmy, who looked utterly defeated with his gaze cast down and an almost pouty frown. "If... If mister Tango wants to come along, he can. You have to ask him nicely, though."

Hermes, decidedly, did not do as told, simply turning to Tango and signing, let's go! Over and over again. His eyes were shining with painful amounts of excitement and hope. How the hell was Tango supposed to say no to that?

How did he get into these situations in the first place?

A half-finished hesitant agreement barely got past his lips before Hermes had wiggled his way out of Jimmy's grip, latched onto Tango's wrist, and began dragging the two men towards the next ride.

And so went their day. To the teacups where Hermes almost made himself puke, then the Musical Vortex where he and Jimmy crushed Tango. The pirate ship where Jimmy really did lose his poor hat but was caught by a little girl and handed back, and a log ride when the sun came out mid-afternoon. A hall of mirrors and a haunted house lead into the fairgrounds, both men deeming the line to the Bamboozler far too long at that point.

They stopped at a shooting booth, where Hermes missed every shot in his three tries, desperate for a cowboy doll two-thirds his own height. Both men stepped up to the plate as tears formed in the kid's eyes, sure that they could at least win good enough to trade whatever they got in for the bigger prize. What neither expected was for Jimmy to also miss every hit and wind up close to tears. Tango thought himself pretty good, but he wasn't that good. Down twenty bucks on a single game, Hermes wound up shoving the hand sized cat squish plush into Jimmy's hands instead, much to the man's embarrassment. The rubber duck fishing and balloon pop were much more successful. Candy apples and tacos were even more of a hit with both the child and adults. These vendors seemed less pleased with accepting Hermes' little VIP band, but Tango was just surprised they did so at all given their independence from the actual park.

Tension could only last so long in a place like this. At least, the non-wallet related tension. It was still there, though, under everything. The weight in Tango's bones couldn't all be from the little boy sat on his shoulders- to get face-to-face with the llamas in the barn yet having never asked to be put down- but he could almost pretend it wasn't there. He could see it in Jimmy too. In the way he almost laughed- an expression Tango was never meant to see- when a goat took Tango out from the back of his knees, but cut himself off.

A pony ride finally took up Tango's newfound duties from him. He slumped down onto the wooden stands, a few feet from Jimmy and the utter mess he was making of his backpack trying to fit the plushies into it between the sunscreen and water bottles. A book wound up yanked out of place, a small ASL dictionary filled with colourful tabs. Backup, Tango guessed, judging from the fact that Jimmy had been much better at keeping up with Hermes' signs than himself. But Jimmy paused, eyes caught on the cover where a woman was signing to her daughter.

"You know quite a bit." He muttered. There wasn't anyone else around them.

Tango groaned, letting his head lull to the side. Hermes waved as he passed. "And?"

"You have deaf clients?"

Clients? He thinks maybe Skizz once had someone who needed the money for a hearing aid, always being the sort of kindhearted fool that asked those types of questions. For Tango, though, it was an artifact. Back from when he was still in college and hopeful to do something better with his life. Knowing multiple languages just made you better employee material, and it was useful when everyone was wearing earmuffs and masks while working on a project. But his intimidation factor with Jimmy was already falling apart. No need to get even more personal. "Something like that." He settled on. If he really wanted to talk, he had a friend for that sort of stuff now, anyways.

Jimmy gave him a look, but said nothing. Instead, he picked up the water bottle and held it out. When all Tango did was cock an eyebrow, he shook it at him. "You haven't had anything to drink since the ice tea nearly two ours ago."

Tango took the water bottle, making a point to shove Jimmy's hand away, and suspicion getting the better of him, gave it a long sniff. No strange smells, if it was poisoned it was scentless. Though there was something oddly soothing about the scent that was there. Cologne, maybe? Or body wash. It didn't matter. He tipped it back and took a long swig. Made a grand scene of chugging down as much as possible and sighing when he was done. Really, what idiot shared his things with his debt collector?

Jimmy seemed annoyingly unbothered, chin resting in his palm. He blinked lazily at Tango's display, who mimicked the blink thoughtlessly before shoving the bottle back into Jimmy's hands. "What's that VIP band, anyways?" Grumbled the older, slouching against the bleachers. "I only had to pay for myself and I think I spent a hundred bucks today, I need one of those."

"Planning on coming back?" Jimmy joked. It got little more than a grunt in return. He sighed. "It's a special band, from Sc- the park owner's charity for sick and disabled children. It's usually for Make-a-wish type cases, but his family knows the owner personally. I guess..."

Tango hummed. For a brief moment his actual job came back to him as money rotated in his mind. "Hope this didn't bite into your pay too badly." He drawled over his shoulder.

"His parents are paying for everything." Assured the man, shoulders slightly squared. An eye stayed on Tango, searching for some sign that it was satisfactory.

The questions cut off as Hermes skipped back over to them. Signs flew about in his excitement. Something about the pony and its fur. Tango really should brush up on his sign language. Jimmy nodded along, pushing the boy towards the barn doors. "I bet your brush wouldn't even work on them." He laughed, getting a head shake in return. "It's getting late, bud. We only have time for one more ride."

The swiftness with which his hands flew, Tango knew whatever it was he was dead set on it. It made how Jimmy bite the inside of his cheek and frown all the more tragic. "Um, I'm not sure we'll be able to get on it..."

Not the answer Hermes wanted to hear. The boy grabbed hold of his guardian's wrist and shook it, giving Jimmy the biggest, most pleading eyes he could muster. Who wouldn't cave? If there was someone with that power, it wasn't Jimmy or Tango. So, they marched. As they marched, all the way across the park, one particular ride came closer and closer, and Tango had a sinking feeling Jimmy was right.

Sure enough, they arrived at the back of the line to the Bamboozler. About twenty feet from the end of the railing. According to a sign board, about a fifty minutes wait to get on. There was no way Hermes was going to be able to stand still that long, even if they had the time. Hermes knew it, too, looking on the brink of tears.

Jimmy rubbed his back, "C'mon, big man, maybe there's something else we can ride."

Hermes jumped away, signalling no as loud and clear as he could. Tango looked up to the coaster where the carts were currently rushing through the double loop. "I don't even think you'd enjoy this one, buddy." It was a thought that slipped passed his filter. Was a kid of his height even allowed on the ride? It didn't seem to matter to Hermes, who signed at them both. There was only one word he could pick out from them, though.

Solidarity.

"What?" Tango's head darted up towards the coaster. Through the throngs of park-goers, up a platform, and half-hidden by machinery, there he was. Solidarity, waving and hugging riders as they exited. There was something not quite right about his movements, not as fluid or jumpy as Tango knew him to be.

"He wants to see Solidarity." Jimmy explained, guiding them away towards the toilets. "But Solidarity is mostly at the ride, not just out and about like the rest."

Maybe Tango should have pushed a bit harder for them to get in line earlier. It made sense, it was Solidarity's attraction after all. He could empathize with the desire to meet the mascot. There wasn't much a mediocre thug and a bum could do about that, though.

Or so Tango thought, anyways. A strange look overcame Jimmy and he grabbed Hermes' hand. "Let's go get cotton candy." The young boy didn't seem especially pleased, but the allure of spun sugar was too much to resist.

It became more obvious something was up when they were in sight of the cotton candy stand and Jimmy suddenly halted. "Actually, I really need to go to the bathroom. Could you take him and I'll meet back up in a minute?"

Now Tango wasn't an expert at parenting or babysitting, but leaving a six year old with a loan-shark did not seem like the correct course of action. He attempted to say as much. "Hey, I don't think-" But Jimmy was already running off. The abandoned pair stared after him for several more seconds, watching Jimmy turn in the exact opposite direction of the toilets. Not suspicious at all. Was he doing it on purpose? Trying to get Tango to take the kid as payment or use him as a distraction to escape, or some other messed up plan like that? Jimmy was already gone, though, so there was only one way to find out. Tango sighed, holding out his hand to the boy. "Alright, well... Guess we're getting candy."

That was how Tango wound up with a mouthful of cotton candy for the first time in nearly twenty years. It somehow did not live up to his memories, tasting too sweet with an odd undertone. Hermes was still in that lovely phase of life where he was creating those memories for his future self to be let down by. The excitement in the boy's eyes as it melted away in his mouth almost tricked Tango into believing he tasted wrong.

Cotton Candy doesn't last very long, though. It had been a good twelve minute since they were left alone, sitting awkwardly on a bench by the vendor. Most of the families were heading out of the park by then. Tango was just beginning to contemplate how much longer to sit before taking the kid to the lost and found when he caught sight of something bright blue in the rapidly thinning crowds. His heart jumped into his throat.

Hermes gasped. His paper cone hit Tango in the face as he threw it off. What did cotton candy have on Solidarity in the flesh- nylon? feathers? What did it matter, the entire reason both abandoned blonds were in the park to begin with was making a beeline for them. Tango had the self-control to not run up to the mascot, but his young companion had no such restraint. Solidarity had hardly waved a hello before there was a small child latched onto him.

"Well, hello to you too, young man!" cooed the parrot, patting Hermes on the head. "A little birdy told me there was a very special boy waiting for me around here. Would that be you?"

If Hermes nodded any faster he might have gotten whiplash. Music to Tango's ears, Solidarity laughed. "Wonderful!" He lifted the boy up until he was sat on Jimmy's arm. "And what would your name be?"

Shockingly, though maybe it shouldn't have been, the mascot signed alongside Hermes. I guess it's more widespread than I thought. Better than Tango and his rusty ass doing any translations It made Hermes press his hands into his cheeks, nowhere else for the bundled energy to go. Then, he was off to the races.

Tango watched with fascination, Solidarity in full work mode. Everything Tango had come to know of him- the exaggerated movements, the chipper voice, the comedic wit, at one point the disdain for rude language- were pumped up to eleven. All just to make the little boy laugh. It occurred to him, with equal amounts of amusement and incredulity, that Solidarity had been doing essentially the same thing with him. Though, Tango doubted his boss would approve of complaining about how hot his costume was on the job. Nevertheless, a small smile slunk its way onto Tango lips as he watched over the pair.

Hermes then pulled a face, something whirling in his mind. A batting hand beckoned Tango closer to the pair. From his little bag Hermes produced a camera. One of those disposable ones Tango hadn't known they still made until the boy used it earlier in the day, and made note to find out where they sold them. He pushed it into Tango's hands. That was all he needed to do. Tango stepped back a good ten feet, holding the camera longways. The ferris-wheel stuck out just above the trees behind them, a perfect moment. Tango almost wished he'd saved him cotton candy for the boy to hold.

As often happened, getting the picture took standing in the middle of the walking path. For the most par, as people did, they went around. One man in a wheelchair, however, stopped entirely to watch the show as Tango carefully snapped the picture. "My, what a lovely scene." He beamed. "A perfect end to a perfect day, eh?"

"You could say that." Replied Tango, taking a second just to be sure one of them would be good.

"Well why don't you join your boy, then?" A hand extended out. Tango stared at it like an empty-headed fool for several seconds to long before he realized the smiling brunette was offering his services.

Hermes apparently heard, and was waving the man over from Solidarity's arms while the bird mascot's head flicked back and forth between the child and Tango. He chewed the inside of his cheek, before sighing. "Uh, yeah, yeah, thanks. But, uh, use this." Instead of the camera he offered up his phone. The last thing the kid needed was a random picture of Hermes with only some stranger- or worse, a not-so-stranger to Jimmy- among the rest. Thankfully, the man did not question it.

Like an awkward slug Tango shuffled over to the other two. The boy jumped down, grabbing hold of Tango's wrist and pulling him until he was shoulder to shoulder with Solidarity. In the process a wing half-wrapped around his shoulder.

Every nerve across the expanse of skin that connected with his friend felt like it was exploding. What was wrong with him? It was just a costume. All he was touching was faux furs and polyesters stretched over a frame. But Tango was encompassed, the first hug he'd had in... The fact he couldn't actually remember when made part of him want to cry. Or maybe it was the odd warmth seeping through the bird man. Even through the structure within he could feel it. The bend of a real body under it all. It wasn't just a blanket, a real human being had decided to wrap their arm around Tango's shoulders and pull him close.

It was all so utterly pathetic. Maybe that's why he wanted to cry.

Whatever. He could be a pathetic wash-up for now. He was Hermes guardian for the next thirty seconds while the wheelchair man finagled with the photo app and took several pictures. In each one Hermes struck a new pose, no doubt creating a strange little slideshow for Tango to discover later. "Princess Jellie!" The man delightedly shouted, forgetting to ask them to say it.

Nostalgia bubbled over in his throat, bursting into a laugh he did his best to muffle. Despite his intrusion, he hoped the kid looked back on this day fondly. That he would keep the photo album the picture wound up in, even if just in a box on an out-of-the-way shelf, instead of throwing them away like Tango stupidly had after college. How he spent dinner talking his parents eyes out of their sockets about holding one of the hundreds of little ducklings and how half the rides shot them straight up to the moon and back.

He hoped he'd manage to blot Tango out of those memories and never ask who that strange man on the periphery of his day was.

The photo man handed Tango back his phone, thanking him for allowing him to take the pictures before wandering off. What an odd fellow, Tango thought. He was the one who should be doing the thanking.

Solidarity, too, bent down to Hermes level and began his goodbyes. "Well, I'm sorry Hermes, but the Bamboozler won't run itself!" As he said as such, dopplered screams echoed over the park, and Tango couldn't help but snort. Hermes was a very understanding boy, though. He gave the mascot a grave nod, held out his hand for the most militaristic handshake Tango had ever seen. Solidarity made sure to shake it just a little too hard, turning their limbs into a silly wave that made the boy giggle one last time.

Tango came up beside the mascot as he stood. "Uh, thanks." Left him, instead of the dozen things he had been wanting to say all day, or the dozen new things he ought to have from the day itself.

"Have a lovely day, sir." Solidarity nodded. Unlikely he was allowed to acknowledge knowing Tango out in public, but Tango knew the friendly flap he'd always given him. The best one could do in full costume. With that he scurried off in a great hurry towards the nearest staff entrance.

It was then Tango realized that Jimmy was still missing. "We should, um, why don't we grab a lemonade and sit down for a bit, yeah?" Tang offered. Honestly, the boy looked dead on his feet by that point, and happily agreed.

By the time Jimmy reappeared a few minutes later, bolting like an Olympic athlete and sweating like he'd really run it, Hermes was half passed out against Tango's arm. He perked up when his babysitter stumbled to a halt in front of them, gasping for air while his silly light up runners slowly calmed. "Sorry, sorry! There was a huge line. I had to go to a farther toilet," Was his excuse. One Hermes seemed to buy, at least. They gave the poor guy a moment to compose himself, adjusting his stupid fish hat before they headed out,

Hermes barely shuffled a few exhausted steps before Jimmy scooped the tired boy up into his own exhausted arms. An offer to carry the kid for him made it all the way to Tango's tongue before he thought better and swallowed it. "How was the bathroom?" He asked instead, giving the man a pointed look.

"There was a fellow who insisted on chatting me up." Jimmy swiftly replied, as if rehearsed. What it exactly meant Tango would never be sure, but he got the gist of it. Paperwork, maybe, or payment.

They slipped through the exit gates, officially leaving the park behind. Both men stood awkwardly by the curb of the road, the crowd trickling around them. "I, um, I called his parents. They should be here any minute to pick him up."

"Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah." Tango cleared his throat, hand scratching the back of his head as he looked around for an exit of his own. None offered itself. "I... I should probably head out." He concluded lamely, and swiftly began shuffling away.

"Tango..."

It was a meek voice, barely audible over the crowd only due to proximity. Jimmy wasn't looking at him, eyes on the now dozing little boy clinging to his cup filled only by half-melted ice and blue-stained lemon slices. There was a slight tremble to the taller's arms as he tipped the adjusted the cup from spilling. Despite it, his expression that refused to meet Tango's relaxed. "Thank you." His voice cracked slightly, unsure. Or maybe a bit shaken. Tango would be, in his- ridiculous light-up- shoes.

But they were outside the park now. Tango had spent nearly four hours taking his reputation with the man down brick by brick, and all that was left was the crumbling foundations. So, despite the strain in his chest, Tango only said, "See on the thirty-first." Some small reminder, some attempt to re-lay the bricks. Jimmy didn't react except to close his eyes. Tango wished he could do the same.

#team rancher #jimmy solidarity #tango tek

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