tiny-tower-landlord

[tiny-tower-landlord]

Found out today that we still have a minor baseball team in Bit City after they decided to celebrate a win by infesting the tower like a pack of drunken seagulls. I had to genuinely shoo a dozen grown men out of the building with a broom. In other news, if you see a dead body on the lobby couch tomorrow morning, that's me. Just let me rot in peace.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

Considering the amount of stock the Shrimp Buffet eats through on a daily basis, I'm starting to understand why Red Lobster shut down. I could charge 200 bucks entry and still lose money on this place.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

Came back from lunch today to find the tower flooded with an entire troupe of Mimes. Apparently they got lost on their way to a convention center and ended up here. It took nearly 3 hours to get them all out of the building; mainly because one of them got stuck behind an invisible wall in the elevator. I love it here I love it here I love

[tiny-tower-landlord]

Just saw a customer eating Ketchup with a spoon in the Tower's Burger Town. I can forgive a lot of things, but this is where I draw the line.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

One of my tenants just walked an live Goat through the lobby and onto the elevator. Apparently there's a loophole in the pet policy that I need to find ASAP.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

There's a Missing Poster up in the laundry room for a white sock with pink heel. No, I'm not kidding. God bless Tiny Tower

[tiny-tower-landlord]

Whoever keeps skydiving above the Tower just to parachute past the windows, please stop. It's becoming enough of a spectacle that I'm having to deal with people coming in every 15 minutes asking about you. I don't know what you're gaining by doing this, but it's definitely not helping my mental health.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

By popular demand, we're installing a Movie Theater on floor 86. I've gotten so many requests about this over the past few years that I've got an entire cabinet dedicated to filing them. Hopefully the construction will go fast enough for us to open with BitBusters IV. I know how much everyone's been looking forward to seeing it.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

I'm having to shut down Mistmont Apartments until further notice due to a clipping issue with the couch. It's been sinking right through the floor for several days at this point, and if the fabric of reality continues degrading, I'd rather not have it happen with my tenants around. Anyways, does anyone have a physgun I can borrow?

[tiny-tower-landlord]

Just had someone run out of the elevator wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and thigh-high socks yelling "Bumfuzzle!" at the top of their lungs. Wish I could make stuff like this up.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

Did you know that a Giant Superball won't bounce if dropped from high enough, but rather explodes when it hits the ground? I learned this after the lobby windows blew in with such a loud bang that I thought a bomb had gone off. After my ears recovered and I poked my head up from the reception desk, I saw a sea of broken safety glass mixed with purple rubber chunks where my carpet had just been, stretching all the way out into the street. Thankfully no one was out on the sidewalk when this happened, lest any innocent bystanders get hurt. Apparently one of my tenants decided to drop it from the roof on the assumption it would bounce all the way back up. Never thought I'd have to add "Don't bomb the lobby with a Superball" to the list of rules, but here we are.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

We're finally opening the long-awaited, long-delayed Shrimp Buffet today. The line is out the door, down 6 flights of stairs, and keeps growing. The Buffet doesn't open for another 2 hours and I'm already worried we might run out of Shrimp. I may have created a monster.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

Someone in the building, who I won't mention for privacy reasons (Becky), left the front door open this morning on their way back in after a very early-morning walk. I bring this up because at some point while the door was open in the wee hours of dawn, some wildlife decided to take up shop in the building, much to my uncaffeinated chagrin. This is a very long-winded way of saying that there is an angry Canada Goose in the lobby today, with a taste for my flesh. So to all the regulars, you're going to have to let yourselves in today, as I'm too busy cowering in the vacuum closet. If anyone would like to come and shoo it out with the broom, that would be fine by me.

[tiny-tower-landlord]

Welcome to Hell

Hi. I'm Alex. I'm the owner of Tiny Tower, and Bit City's best (and only) combination Landlord/Receptionist/General Manager. In addition to the residents of this monstrosity I've created, I also manage every shop and service here. You have no idea how much stock 47 floors of retail eat through until you're the one ordering for them. I have not known a moment of peace in years; I don't expect them to start now.