tinyikuya

[tinyikuya]

WIP

abit of f1 driver kaoru × figure skater izumi au stuff because all my friends are all screaming at me to write something

“If you won’t let me follow you through this triple header then I might die from touch starvation.” Izumi whines, voice high and pitchy when he knows it would get Kaoru to follow his every whims. And Kaoru is endeared by him greatly, even if Izumi is an enigma that needs to be broken down to be seen, to be understood.

“We won’t be home for a while if you come with me.”

“Don’t you have a huge flat in Monaco?” Izumi murmurs into his neck.

Monaco isn’t home; the maqjority of the drivers on the grid don’t even consider it home really. It’s just where his bed is, where his life settles. Though Kaoru did spend most of his holiday there, sulking in loneliness and isolation while everyone goes back for Christmas or new year, just because he would rather get run over than go back to Japan.

“Mmhm, but it’s not home.”

“Where is home then?”

Not Japan.

Not where he was born, not where his home race is; not the place that began and nurtured his motorsport dreams. Japan is not home for Kaoru, hasn’t been since his mother passed away leaving him drowning in hopeless dreams, where he fought for his life trying to prove that his dreams and entire existence at least were worth something. Japan is riddled with memories that haunt his sleep and people that play pretend-family judging his every move, eating up his career, waiting to swallow him whole at every tiny slip-up.

“To be quite honest, I don’t know Senacchi.”

Being a Hakaze is like a curse that will never go away. How ironic it is that the one thing that still connected him with his father haunts his entire life. Wind flutters his lashes while running through the race. Loneliness under the carefree pretense. Attachments form knowing that it will never stay constant. Feelings that never stay in one place that can be called home.

Izumi places a tiny peck at the side of his lips.

“I can be Kao-kun’s home then.”

But Izumi has become a constant in Kaoru’s life. The one who sits with him through darkness, rubbing circles on his wrists when he borderline having a panic attack in the driver room out of heavy expectation. The one who stayed, and will continue to be.

As long as he’s with Izumi, Kaoru is home.

[tinyikuya]

i'm here to yap about kaoizu and enstars aus and headcanons. and sometimes post my writings. and sometimes post my oshikatsu photos

uh i also don't really use main tag and if i don't yap some more in the tag then there's something seriously wrong with me

please don't expect anything else besides word vomit