tinypaperwindmill

[tinypaperwindmill]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[tinypaperwindmill]

everyone on replies is terrified of this fact but i just think it's so sweet and heartwarming. she's holding our hand and leading us somewhere secret and we're both giggling like kids. i love her

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continually astounded to learn that someone around me is actually for real christian. like. aren't you supposed to grow out of that

[tinypaperwindmill]

When you transition people tell you “it’s like watching someone die”. Like yeah a fucking loser died. Just the absolute lamest dude you ever met. A real dogshit guy just bought it. So sorry your absolute failure of a man is gone and has been replaced by a hot chick, must be hard for you 🙄

[tinypaperwindmill]

ladies.. he went to biffmore

[tinypaperwindmill]

concept: bootleg copies of memes

[tinypaperwindmill]

“if you’re sensitive to sounds when sleeping, just use earplugs!” i cannot stress enough that the sensory feeling of having my ears fully blocked AND now being able to hear my own heartbeat and breathing and every other sound that’s happening inside my own body is a million times worse than whatever ambient noise may be keeping me awake

[tinypaperwindmill]

wild that so many people's main goal is to establish a new world order. fuck off I order the new world to give money to people who need it.

[tinypaperwindmill]

[tinypaperwindmill]

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im at th parking lot attacking people with chains & scythes & shit

[tinypaperwindmill]

[tinypaperwindmill]

woke up and turned over and there was a roach next to me.... wtf did we do last night....?

[tinypaperwindmill]

“oh yeah you should watch this show! its on-” it doesnt matter. it is on the little site in my computer. for free

[tinypaperwindmill]

this is some sort of mood

[tinypaperwindmill]

Taking photos of snakes is a lot harder than you’d think 😂😭

[tinypaperwindmill]

As , the United States, potentially heads into another forever war I can only think of this quote.