tj-writesatminuit

[tj-writesatminuit]

This was heartbreakingly beautiful!

15. things you said with too many miles between us --- For Taeju x Female Reader. Thanks!

Things you said with too many miles between us. Track 15 - Love In the Dark

Warnings: None, just angst above the cut and under the cut I’M SORRY

 It feels like we're oceans apart There is so much space between us Baby, we're already defeated Everything changed me And I don't think you can save me

 /

You know it's him before he even speaks.

You answer the call — Unknown Caller, the screen reads — without even a second of hesitation. You hold the phone to your ear with a trembling hand. You wait.

It's sad, isn't it? It seems that's all you do these days.

The first thing he says is your name.

The relief is evident in his voice when he murmurs it on the other end of the line. Your heart seizes in your chest at the familiar sound. It wraps around the syllables of your name like a childhood blanket. Soft and familiar and warm, even after all this time.

(You are a child, coming home after a blustering day, the sun already gone down but the lights on and dinner on the table. You are a flower, winter-beaten and wilted, turning your face up to the first spring sun. It has been so cold without him. It is so warm, when he's by your side.)

You hate how much you love it.

"Don't say my name," you finally reply, voice as shaky as your hands. "You don't get to say my name."

His voice, as warm as it is, comes resigned.

"I know."

This only angers you even more. You grip your phone as tightly as you can, shocked that it has not crumbled already in your hold. You've already shattered in his.

"It's been nine days, Jung Taeju," you grit into the phone. All I do is wait for you. "Choi Mujin's face has been all over the news. I had to hear about the attack from the girls at the bar and — and I haven't even seen you in nine days. I haven't heard from you in nine days. Are you even in Seoul anymore? Do you even care? I thought you had died."

Silence stretches between you two, like the distance of his absence for the last few agonizing days.

( Unnie, didn't you hear? Dongcheon was busted last night. Choi Mujin's been handed over to the police. A rival gang ambushed the gym too. Four people died. Taeju oppa didn't call you yet? Are you — do you think — they didn't announce any of the deceased yet, could he… )

And then: "I'm not in Seoul," is the only question he chooses to answer.

He continues before you can stop him.

"I won't be able to come back to Seoul for a long time. I won't be able to come by for family dinners on Sundays and I won't be able to pick you up after you've had too much to drink after work," his voice is slow. Measured. Matter-of-fact and rational — as if he's listing off an unfinished to-do list and not hammering in the final nails in the coffin of this misguided romance, about to die at his hands once and for all. "You always get sick in December, so make sure you dress more warmly then. I've arranged flowers for your mother's memorial service already, so don't be surprised when they're delivered. Junho has already been by your apartment today while you were working to change the locks on your door. Gangjae has been taken care of. He won't be able to hurt you again."

You wonder if maybe you shouldn't have picked up this phone call after all.

At least, then, you'd still be allowed to wait.

At least, then, you'd still believe he'd come back to you after this long, long winter.

"Your sister's hospital bill has been paid. I moved some funds to your bank account too. You should be able to return to your classes by next semester. I had — I had Junho fix the lightbulb in your kitchen. I'm sorry I didn't get to do it for you when you asked," he continues. Taeju clears his voice once. The words come out tighter now. "The police will be looking for me. Tell them… tell them you had nothing to do with me."

The tears are hot down your face.

"You didn't know me," Taeju's voice is firm. He doesn't sound like the person you had known anymore.

The last time you had heard his voice, he had been murmuring your name, kissing your temple, pulling the blankets back up to your chin as he slipped out of your warm bed. You had known him then. He had loved you then.

You angrily wipe the tears off your face.

No. No, he loves you now too.

You won't let him erase that truth away.

"— They wont bother you if that's the case. We were careful, so just — live as if you'd never met me. As if you'd never known me. You'll live better that way —"

"Don't tell me how to live my life, Jung Taeju," you finally cut him off, your voice watery but firm. He has not given you a single chance to speak, to argue, to protest. You won't let him interrupt you now either. "I'm not touching your money. I'll pay for my sister's bill on my own. You already promised to be at my mother's memorial service, so deliver the flowers yourself."

The way he whispers your name after breaks you.

"Don't do this," he whispers, voice as broken as you feel. Gone is the facade, the nonchalance, the professionalism. Taeju's voice is soft and ragged, wrapping around you like unfinished silk. "Don't be like this. Please. I need to keep you safe—"

"Then keep me safe yourself," you bite back, angry and afraid and aching.

Maybe it's better that he's not in Seoul.

He'd feel terrible, if he saw you crying like this.

"I'm going to wait for you," you promise vehemently. You are the winter flower, sturdy and resilient and strong as you wait for spring. You are his girl — only his — who will wait all her days, just to see him come home. You're strong enough. He has loved you so deeply and so thoroughly that you will be strong enough to weather this storm. "So come back when… when this has all passed. When you've fixed all of this. Come back to me."

You hang up before you can hear his answer — before he can protest or agree or anything else in between.

You've made your choice. His opinion on it is irrelevant.

You will wait.

No matter what. No matter how long it takes.

Come back to me.

[tj-writesatminuit]

Tempted to write a canon divergent fic with the best boy Tae Ju cause AO3 is empty af; but I have tons of schoolwork to do 😬. Listen, I know canonically he has a thing for Mujin, but that scene talking about the restaurant owner’s daughter? Kinda giving me Bi vibes.

[tj-writesatminuit]

Port City is soooo good! My second favourite track after Shadow.

*me working on my Choi Mujin x Reader WIP*

It's gonna be intense. Also it's currently 34 pages and 20k words long. Ooops, #sorrynotsorry.

I'm trying something new with it, so bear with me if it's a real slow burn haha! Also I'm debating if I should give you a timeline so everything makes sense or leave it up to interpretation?

So excited to post once I've made up my mind and resurfaced from my crazy writing. *ducks into her exile again* 😂

Meanwhile: HERE is the teaser of the first part and while you read, listen to this amazing track.

[tj-writesatminuit]

hometown cha-cha-cha plot: *exists*

everyone else: *does the following…

a. moves to the seaside to find their own dimpled jack-of-all-trades engineer with traumatic past

b. studies in dentistry school to open their own clinic by the sea

c. studies engineering to find their own charming dimpled dentist

d. leaves their heels by the shore

e. wants to be a hedgehog

[tj-writesatminuit]

Yes.

I love it when pabu

[tj-writesatminuit]

Iroh II is a snack

[tj-writesatminuit]

i feel like a lot of the things i hear people saying they dislike about korra are the exact reasons i love her. like oh she’s over powered and cocky and impulsive ? i LOVE that for her! i love that for any woman! i’m so used to seeing diminiutive female characters everywhere in media as the standard of what a woman is supposed to be. so seeing korra go fully apeshit ? amazing. seeing a female character who’s unapologetically angry but isn’t reduced to only her anger ? seeing a female character who’s powerful and strong while also being goofy and vulnerable and multi demensional and ALL of these things being a part of her character ? i don’t understand how anyone could ever dislike korra. i simply see a teenage girl who’s represented as a whole person with flaws and strengths that make her all the more human and loveable. we drink loving korra juice in this house 🧃

[tj-writesatminuit]

I was today years old when I learned that when you type "otp: true" in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship

[tj-writesatminuit]

i think i have figured out why people like atla more than korra: atla provides a clearer version of emotional payback than korra does.  

whenever people engage with media, they are agreeing to do the emotional work of getting to know characters, following the plot, learning about the world/lore, and understanding themes.  in response, the audience expects some kind of emotional payback for the work they’ve done.  this can take shape in many forms, but the ones we see most prominently (speaking from a western media standpoint) is the defeat of the villain/success of the protagonist.  

atla at its core is a protagonist-beats-villain story.  even though there are both good sides and bad sides to every element, who is good and who is bad remains very clear throughout the show.  and before you raise a point about zuko’s redemption arc, i’d like to remind you that azula’s lack of redemption makes this show cut and dry on who is good and bad.  if azula was able to be redeemed without helping the good guys ever, we’d have a more complex understanding of goodness and badness.  azula being cast aside is necessary to keep the dichotomy stable, so there’s always a version of who-zuko-could-have-became out there who doesn’t get redeemed.  

and from this, we get a massive emotional payback in the final battles.  seeing aang beat ozai not through force, but through taking his bending is exactly what he needed to do to both succeed as the avatar and as the last piece of an otherwise destroyed culture.  the final agni kai also provides emotional payback by completing zuko’s arc (the scar parallels him to aang; katara healing it resolves their first point of conflict) and katara’s (letting her fight someone not for vengence, but to stop an evil that is currently existing).  toph and sokka’s arcs are similarly closed when toph finally is able to be vulnerable enough to need help and when sokka see someone he loves return from battle.  so, at the end, the audience feels at peace.  we did the work to feel good and now we feel good. 

korra, on the other hand, is a completely different show because the point of it is that you can’t just defeat badness.  whereas aang had one great evil to defeat, korra must battle a new villain every season.  of course, this could provide emotional payoff, but just in smaller, more constant quantities (1 per season vs. avatar’s one per show).  why it doesn’t is because 1) korra’s existence creates her enemies and 2) her enemies are extremists, but often not 100% wrong. 

the equalists are entirely wrong in their approach to bring equality and their leader is vengeful liar, but their desire for equality isn’t necessarily bad.  they want to bring balance just like korra, but their ways of doing so actually bring more division and chaos.  the interesting part is that korra’s presence initially amplifies conflict instead of ending it, since she is the symbol of bending and holds so much power.  tarlok would literally not have needed to become the dark avatar if korra didn’t exist.  while his desire to overthrow the southern water tribe was corrupt, the heart of the reasons (wanting to increase spiritual connection) caused korra to make the decision which brought airbenders back.  however, it also made zaheer able to become a threat again, which is probably the most literal version of korra making her enemies.  zaheer’s perception of peace being taking down world leaders would also turn the world to chaos, but once again, his heart is in the right place.  kuvira stepped up because no one else would but did not have the correct ideologies to make her a good leader.  while she did harm, she also fed people and gave them protection.  and, of course, the reason for her taking so much power (while often blamed on su) can also be traced back to korra’s reluctance to be patient with her healing and come back strong enough to either 1) be the one uniting the earth kingdom or 2) be able to defeat kuvira earlier in the season. 

this allows for a more complex version of goodness and badness to exist.  when korra says that she “had to understand what true suffering was so [she] could become more compassionate to others, even people like kuvira,” it acknowledges that villains can have good intentions that are simply pushed too far AND that korra herself can be pushed to make similar mistakes when placed in traumatizing situations.  this is entirely different than aang and ozai’s relationship; so, when you finish korra, you are left with an ambiguity between goodness and badness that atla doesn’t have, making the work you did seem less paid back, except it isn’t.  korra demonstrating a more complex version of goodness and badness allows a world more abundant in forgiveness and growth.  it gives you a more nuanced perception of character, allowing the protagonists to have horrendously obvious flaws that somehow don’t stop you from rooting for them.  there’s just no final battle, big showdown, or huge revolution the protagonist starts.  there’s nothing plot wise to signify the clear defeat of evil that people crave.  and while everyone is allowed to have a favorite, and most people will naturally sway towards atla because of this, thinking less of korra as a show because of the moral ambiguity it addresses seems dismissive, because if if korra had followed atla’s simple dichotomy of good vs. bad, it most definitely wouldn’t have been as gripping, complex, or interesting as it is. 

[tj-writesatminuit]

It’s sitting unpublished on my computer rn partly because I don’t have a title for it yet lol but it’ll likely be on here as well as on AO3

Fanfic idea:

Iroh ii x kya daughter who is waterbender fact they xould be power couple.

[tj-writesatminuit]

I am currently writing this. It’s in it’s early stages but it’s in progress

Fanfic idea:

Iroh ii x kya daughter who is waterbender fact they xould be power couple.

[tj-writesatminuit]

This ^^^ I don’t hate Aang but the conclusion to his arc felt a bit like lazy writing to me tbh

a take:

zutara would fix everything wrong with AtLA, but taang would fix a lot of what was wrong with LoK

[tj-writesatminuit]

One Day at a Time addressing how it should never be up to the child to fix a broken relationship with a parent.

[tj-writesatminuit]

Dear Fanfiction Readers,

If you’re afraid to leave a review/comment because you think it’ll sound stupid, don’t be. Just leave an incoherent reply in all caps. We love that shit.

Sincerely,

A Fic Writer that needs constant validation. 

[tj-writesatminuit]

The conversation surrounding cultural appropriation has been so severely mutilated by white “allies” that the original intention behind that conversation has become almost unrecognizable in most social contexts.

[tj-writesatminuit]

Me right now

Hard same.