toastbtterbread

[toastbtterbread]

"Ikaw lang patutunguhan".☘︎ ݁˖ — Taesan Filo Au

🥀—A long time crush, Aviel never gave up on Taesan. Kahit anong reject, kahit anong hindi, naniniwala parin ang dalaga na balang araw, siya narin ang pipiliin. Ngunit, paano kung kelan oras na, siya namang pagkawala?

Genre: Romance, Youth, Angst

Warnings: Mention of hospitals, cigarettes, family problems

Now playing: Ikaw lang patutunguhan by Amiel Sol, La la lost you by NIKI

Word count: 1.6k

* ੈ✩ ₊˚

[12:30 AM]

Anong oras na, chat parin ng chat tong si Aviel. We've been friends, probably since highschool. Unfortunately, hanggang college kasama ko parin siya. Sabi niya, SABI NIYA, gusto niya raw talaga ang kursong kinuha niya—BS Accountancy.

Tapos, rinig ko pa sa kaibigan niya, kinuha niya lang talaga to dahil nandito ako. Minsan di ko malaman laman anong balak nito sa buhay. She was an out going type of person, go with a flow pero takot sa mangyayari sa furture niya.

A total opposite of mine, I know what I want and don't. I already figured and planned my life out the moment I step on college. Well, that's what I thought.

Aviel

Baks, gising ka pa?

Sa tingin mo?

Yown! Pasama ako 7 11

Viel, it's already midnight

Kala mo naman bago! DALI NA

Maninigarilyo ka nanaman?

HOY HINDI

Sama mo naman sakin:(

Omw

12:35 AM

Yes. She's smoking. Mas malala dati. She said it was her coping mechanism, but still.

"May nangyari nanaman ba?" Una kong bati dito. She's wearing a gray oversized hoodie, hood over head covering her messy long hair. "Gaga, di ba pwedeng miss lang kita?" ngiti nito sakin sabay kapit sa aking braso na kala mong linta.

"Can you please—"pilit kong alis ng yakap niya sakin. Lakas talaga nito. "IIIIHHH!!!"

"Ano ba bibilhin mo?"

"Anong sakin? Bilhan kita potchi!"

"Huh? For what?" As far as I know, wala namang event kanina. She usually gave me gifts everytime na may ganap. It may be Christmas, New Years, Valentines, ewan ko bakit pati sa Independence day.

And its always...potchi. Just because I like them.

"Hala! To naman! Syempre, tapos na tayo sa midterms" oh, yes. "Is that a big deal?"

"Oo naman no!"

"You know I rejected you, right?" Napatigil ito sa kanyang paglalakad. Pati tuloy ako, napatigil narin. I was just staring at her, waiting for her reply. "U-uhm...ayun na yung 7 11 oh! Bilisan na natin anong oras na!" As always, change of topic.

[9:00 PM - February 19]

"You know I'm studying, right? May quizbee ako bukas" it may sound bad, pero totoo naman. Ito agad ang bungad ko kay Aviel. Randomly calling me at night. "Ay, sorry! I just want to see you lang naman..." she replied, lips were pierced to each other.

Leaving a light sighed, I walked towards her. "Go on, what do you need?" A huge smile was plastered on her face. "Here" abot nito sakin ng sobre. Its not just a normal envelope, it was decorated with small bows and pinky stickers. It even has a small bump, probably a candy.

"What's this?" I asked, acting dump. "Letter" she smiled innocently, hiding both of her hands behind her back. "I know, I mean—"

"I like you, Taesan"

I know.

"Yun yung letter" silenced. Hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot ko sa kanya. All this time, I only see her as a friend. This is probably the third time she confessed. I never expect na aabot pa hanggang college.

"Aviel, you know—"

"I know. Pero, sana hayaan mo lang ako? Kapag kasi pinipigilan ko, mas lalo lang akong napapamahal sayo, San" sambit nito. "Just let me, San?"

[12:30 PM]

Lunch break.

Forgot to bring mine, so I don't have a choice but to go to our cafeteria na napagka-layo sa building namin. Ayaw ata nila kaming pakainin.

"Taesan! Kain ka Cafeteria?" salubong sakin ng kaibigan ko—Leehan. One of the well-known students here. A role model. He's the president of Central Student Council and also an athlete. No wonder, a lot of girls were running for him.

"Yeah, nakalimutan ko baon ko"

"Oh? Hinahanap ka nga ni Aviel kanina" he knows her? "Oo. She's literally my classmate, tol"

"LEEHAN! SABAY TAYO KAIN—" biglang sigaw ng isang matinis na boses mula sa kabilang hallway. It was her, Aviel. Her jolly smile were there. Checks were red as roses.

"Oh, Taesan. Pinapa-abot ngapala ni tita" sabay abot sakin ng isang eco-bag, containing my lunch. "Tara na, Han! Sabay tayo! Libre kita" she happily told him, she was excited. Clinging onto his arms.

"Ah, sige tol. Una na kami, SUNOD KA!" habol ni Leehan sabay takbo kasama si Aviel.

Kelan pa kayo naging close?

[8:30 PM]

Hindi ako mapakali. Naka-tayo lang ako sa labasan ng bahay namin. I was waiting for her. Usually around 7, naka-uwi na yon. The thing is, lagi kaming sabay. Ngayon, sumama siya kay Leehan. It's not that I don't trust my friend. it's just...

"Nagseselos ka ba?"

Unang bungad sakin ni Aviel the moment I bombed her with questions. Saan ka galing? Bakit late ka umuwi? Nasan si Leehan? Inaalagaan ba siya ng maayos? Anong nangyari?

"Hindi ah! Bakit mo naman iisipin yan?"

She just left out a small laughed. "Taesan, crush mo talaga ako, 'no?"

I scoffed. "How many times ba kita ire-reject para i-let go mo ko, ha?"

"I won't, San"

"Hindi ka ba naaawa sa sarili mo niyan?" she looked down, piercing her lips once again. "You know, San. Sometimes in life, you don't have other choices but just keep on going. Although it was clear that it was not meant for you..." bigla niya nalang akong tinignan sa mga mata.

Aviel...

[3:00 AM - May]

Ilang buwan na kaming walang usap ni Aviel. The only assurance I had is nakikita ko siyang lumalabas ng bahay nila at uuwi. Minsan, nakikita ko sa school. Pero hanggang doon lang. We never talked ever since. Even my chats, they were ignored.

At first, maybe she was busy. We are busy. Thesis defense na kasi. Until I decided to go outside. Hindi kasi ako makatulog.

Doon, nakita ko. Ang dating Aviel. Trying to light up the cigarette on her mouth, covering from the wind. I have no other choice but to snatched it from her.

"Hoy—" she was snapped the moment she saw me. Her eyes were swollen. The redness were still visible under her eyes. I knew it, there's something wrong.

Napalunok lamang ito sabay tungo. "What happened?" She tried to speak, but no words can scape from her mouth. "Tara, 7 11"

[3:15 AM]

Silenced. The sound of crickets were the only thing that we could hear. I brought her a milk, a usual drink that calms her down.

In one gulped, she sighed. "Taesan?" I hummed. "Do you think...the world could've been better if I wasn't born?"

I didn't respond. I don't want to respond. "Do you think...both of my parents could've a better life? Without us?" She land her gaze on me. It was sparkiling. A tear scaped from her almond eyes.

"Aviel..."

She smiled bitterly. "Malapit na pala birthday ko..."

"Hmm...what do you want?"

"A restart. A restart button"

She looked away. "I want to restart everything, Taesan. To live a truthful life, not surrounded by lies"

[8:00 PM]

I just finished my classes. They were tough, but it was bearable. At least. Could've been better if...

"Kuya! Kanina ka pa dito?" Hindi ko na namalayan, nasa tabi ko na pala ang kapatid ni Aviel—Aries. "Just got here" I noted as I opened the door. As usual, the smell was good. Nag-request talaga kami na panatilihing mabango ang kuwarto niya, para pag nagising siya, hindi siya badtrip.

"Waah! Kainis talaga yung isa kong kaklase. Muntik ko na masapak, kuya!" I just chuckled at his silly little stories. "Wag kang gumaya sa ate mo"

"Di ko nga alam kung gigising pa yan" buntong-hininga nito sabay upo sa kabilang couch malapit sa bintana. I decided to sit on a monoblock near her bed. Though we were talking, the sound of the machines can still clearly hear.

"Kuya...gigising pa ba si ate?" Muling tanong ni Aries. Ever since that incident happened, bigla nalang nawalan ng malay si Aviel, the only question he has is kung magigising pa ba ang ate niya.

Both of their parents were working, so most of the time, kaming dalawa ang bantay. "Of course she will. She's a strong person" I assure him.

"Alam mo kuya, feeling ko alam ko na sagot sa tanong ko" I hummed. "Siguro...mas ok na rin na hindi na gumising si ate"

"Hmm? Bakit naman?"

"Pagod na kasi siya, kuya. Naaawa na ko kay ate" ani nito. "Alam mo, pag nag aaway sila mama at papa, mas pipiliin niyang marinig lahat nang yon"

"How?"

"Kinukulong ako ni ate sa kuwarto tsaka pinapasuot sakin yung earphones niya. Kahit alam kong ayaw niya, pipilitin niyang siya nalang makarinig lahat kesa makita ko" ngayon ko lang narinig to. Aviel never opened up about family related problems. She will rather keep those on her own. One thing is because she doesn't want to ruin the names of her family. Malalaman ko nalang kapag naninigarilyo siya.

"Do you know that your ate smokes?"

Tumango ito. "Kahit ayaw ko, di ko siya mapigilan. Wala akong magawa eh, coping mechanism narin niya. Kaya, para narin sa kanya, mas gugustuhin ko nalang mag pahinga siya kesa sa nakikita kong nahihirapan siya..."

"...kahit ayaw ko"

[10:00 PM]

Pinatulog ko na si Aries. He cried, again. Gabi-gabi yan, umiiyak. Hindi sa ayaw na niyang makasama ang ate niya, but also for her peace narin.

I miss you, Aviel. Siguro kung nakikita mo ko ngayon, papaulanin mo ko ng tanong. Bakit ka nandito? Bakit mo ko inaalagaan? Ayaw mo sakin pero nandito ka? You'll probably even try to kick me out of the room. Yet, a sweet smile will still be formed on your face.

I miss that, Aviel. I miss your jolly personality, eagerness, and positivity in life. Knowing that you've through a lot behind those sunshines you gave to us, to me. I miss you, Aviel. Wake up na, please? Your brother is waiting for you...he misses her ate na. Aviel, please? Say my name again. Lets go out again in the middle of the night and talk nonsenses...

Aviel...I—

"Taesan?"

[toastbtterbread]

bnd collections!.𖥔 ݁ ˖𓂃.☘︎ ݁˖

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 magbabalik ang nakaraan, ibabalik ang pinag-mulan

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

bnd💙

bnd as coj's silakbo album

myung jaehyun🐶

park sungho🐈

sungho as your live in! partner

lee riwoo🦦

han taesan🐈‍⬛

"Ikaw lang patutunguhan" — a Taesan filo au

kim leehan🐠

kim woonhak⛄️

[toastbtterbread]

zb1 collections｡𖦹°‧⭑.ᐟ

'𓂃⋆.˚di mo lang alam, naiisip kita. Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

zb1!🩵

zb1 as Genshin Impact Characters

Sung Hanbin🐹

Kim Jiwoong🐈‍⬛

Zhang Hao🦝

Seok Matthew🦊

Kim Taerae🦆

Shen Ricky🐈

Kim Gyuvin🐶

Park Gunwook🐻

Han Yujin🐰

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｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Humingang malamin, pumikit na muna. 𖦹₊ ⊹

𓇢𓆸 At baka sakaling, namamalik mata lang.

ʚɞ

hi, welcome to my pahina. I write fics, but will not entertain any reqs, cuz i'm busy. i write for zb1 and bnd:). I will also write my fics mostly in TagLish!

—love, bread!𓂃⋆.˚

[toastbtterbread]

After Sungho's episode on Lee Mujin Service, I am fully on board for a solo album. Here's a pitch deck !

[toastbtterbread]

Zb1 as Genshin Impact Characters. ᯓ★

Calling genshin players and zeroses!!!

⚘( ၴႅၴI really miss playing genshin impact:(. It's been months now since the last time I played the game, and I miss furina sm. To cure these nostalgic feelings of mine, I decided to create a Zerobaseone as Genshin Impact PLAYABLE Characters! It was actually Gunwook(the reason).

P.S.: I stopped playing after Fontaine, so I'm not quite familiar with some Natlan characters!

Disclaimer: This may be inaccurate, so please bear with me🙆‍♀️. My basis is actually random. It may be the vibes, personality, physically, or just random. This is solely based on my opinion.

Enjoy!

✮⋆˙🎧ᝰ.ᐟ

Hanbin - Thoma/Navia

-I can still vividly remember I used to be so obsessed with Thoma during my early days.

-I choose these two for Hanbin mainly bcz: Thoma's overall personality just pretty matches with him, and Navia's leadership and her joyful character match him as well.

Jiwoong - Neuvillette/Jean

-I was actually thinking of Wriothesley and Diluc, but I still ended up with Neuvillette cuz despite always looking like a nobleman, he still has that soft and playfulness on the inside.

-Same goes with Jean! She has always been too hard on herself since day 1. Sometimes, she forgot that she's a human too and has that soft heart, especially for Barbara and Klee.

Hao - Kaveh/Furina

-The moment I saw his name, BOTH OF THEM POP ON MY HEAD!

-Both Kaveh and Furina have this personality that is just unique. Like, it matches so much with Hao and their vibes as well. The confidence and a springle of attitude just sums this up.

Matthew - Gaming/Xiangling

Oh, our Gen Z kids that truly enjoy the word rizz, sigma boy, and mewing face.

-Gaming has always been portrayed as that Gen Z of the game. His playfulness and the use of words is it! As for Xiangling, her enthusiasm and passion just match Matthew!

Taerae - Venti/Yae Miko

-The attitude, the cunt, the mother, THEY GOT THEM ALL!

-Plus points for both Venti and Taerae being a vocalist. Venti, being a caring parent to Mondstat, just fits IDK???. I choose Yae Miko for him just bcz....just bcz they are both kind of silly yet will always hand a help.

Gyuvin - Childe/Amber

-The silliness and caring brother of Childe just fits to Gyuvin for me!!!! The way Childe teases these people. Also, Childe is everywhere, I believe Gyuvin is also everyone. They are anything they want.

-Bothel Gyuv and Amber are outgoing buddies and can get along pretty well whoever they are around with.

Ricky - Kaeya/Eula

-Kaeya knows he is hot, ricky knows he is hot. Yea. That's it. Plus points to Kaeya being a cutie sometimes without him noticing it. IS IT? That's just how I see this guy.

-Eula... my girl. My tough girl. But despite having a strict personality, she's also a softie that went through a lot. Actually, both Eula and Kaeya had this strong aura but also showed that their still HUMANS.

Gunwook - Wriothesley/Clorinde

-NOW THIS IS THE REASON WHY I DID THIS! Gunwook Wriothesley is just CHEF KISS. Swearr!! Like Wriothesley may come out tough and strict to those prisoners, but girlll he melts for Sigewinne. Oh yes, their physic.

-No, I did not intend to match it with Clorinde. Same goes with Wriothesley, Clorinde is also a softy. Though she's being praised during the duels and such, her heart still has that warmth. If I'm not mistaken, she is using the lipstick that I think Navia gave to her? Yea. That's Gunwook.

Yujin - Tighnari/Klee

-Ok. Tbh, I had a hard time to choose for Yujin. Guess I ended up Tighnari because both of these two may come out nonchalant but was actually caring indirectly.

-To balance out, I gave him Klee for his silly side. Yujin is still a kid to my eyes, and I adore Klee so much . Her honest personality just matches and fits well to Yujin.

A/n: I did my best here y'all.

ৎ𝄢Nagmamahal, bread:^

[toastbtterbread]

⋆. 𐙚 ̊Mr. President!⋆. 𐙚 ̊

Sungho—as the student council president at heartthrob niyo!

Matalino, guwapo, matulungin, at talented—na sa'yo na ang lahat Mr. president!

🎧ྀི⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

"hm? Assignment sa math? Tulungan na lang kita..."

"Math assignment? I'll help you with it"

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

ׂ╰┈➤ Sungho na honors student at tutulungan ka pagnahihirapan ka sa mga seatwork at assignment mo

"Para sa'kin?"

"For me?"

"Thank you..."

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

ׂ╰┈➤Sungho na heartthrob ng school at laging madaming gifts sa valentines!

"For our next song..."

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

ׂ╰┈➤ Sungho na sobrang daming clubs/orgs, marunong na magdrawing tas nag gitarista pa sa banda

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Its formy Myungnyangz fanfic in Ao3 HAHAH here's the english trans

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56318575/chapters/143088673

[toastbtterbread]

˖ ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Living in! with boyfriend Sungho. ᯓᡣ𐭩

Now playing: Soft spot by Keshi ˚☽˚.⋆

🤎He's the one who suggested it when you guys are already in 3rd or 4th year in college, for the sake of the convenience for the both of you.

🤎You don't know how much excited he is when you said yes! He even already planned the design of your little home. Speaking of which, he's also the type of boyfriend that WILL CONSIDER YOUR PRIVACY. So, he chose the one that has two separate rooms with bathrooms.

🤎The time you guys moved in, its not just the two of you. He also bought Simba with him, and if you have a pet, he will ask you to bring it also if its ok with you.

🤎You don't know how much giggly he is, thinking that you guys just made a happy little family.

🤎Academics being the main reason for moving out, you guys will always be by each others side every time one of you needs to pull an all night.

🤎It almost you guys are having a date every night. Doing your personal academic stuffs while also talking and laughing with each other. Sungho will always check up on you if you're still ok cuz girly is dozing out every now and then.

🤎Imagine those cute little scenarios where you guys will laugh at each others struggling noises but will also give comfort later on.

🤎Sungho, being an act of service bf, would definitely keep refiling your little snacks while doing your stuff.

🤎He would also keep reminding you to watch your coffee/energy drink intake. You may not notice, but he counts every cup you take.

🤎He would probably be the one that would insist to end the day cuz not only he can not handle it anymore, bcuz you've already cried many times while staring at your laptop.

🤎If you fell asleep in the living room or the dining area, he will gently wake you up first. Asking if you want to be carried or he will guide you to your room. Most likely, he would carry you, though. Specifically, bridal style aaahhhh I'm insane I know.

🤎On normal days, you guys would sleep in your own rooms. But sometimes, you guys also sleep together depending on your mood. Most probable reason why you guys ended up sleeping on each others arms is because of how tired or lazy one of you to move to another room, or maybe both of you really just want some cuddles.

🤎When it comes to cooking, Sungho will be the one who will always insist to cook for the both of you. But if you're the one who will do it, ready your ears for the compliments every bite.

🤎You guys will surely act like parents to your pets, swear! Gosh this is so cute I can not handle it anymore?

🤎Overall, you don't have to worry if you guys live in for a while. Too tired to talk? He will treat you some ice cream and wait. Want to rant? His ears are open and would even hold your hand as a comfort. Sungho is really a comfort person. I just really wish that despite of being the eldest in the group, he may not forget to take of himself also. T_T

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed reading these little sungho bf thoughts of mine. Oh gosh, I just really love and admire him as a person:'>.

Nagmamahal, bread𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

[toastbtterbread]

Boynextdoor as CupofJoe's Silakbo Album. ⋆.˚ ★—

Joewahs and Juandoors!!!!

ִ ࣪𖤐 Bilang appreciation to both of my fave bands, Cup of Joe and Boynextdoor, here's a list of Bnd as COJ recent and successful album, Silakbo❤️‍🔥.

Disclaimer: Some may inaccurate, bear with me🙇‍♀️. Also, this may be written in taglish, but still expect some grammatical errors:'). This is solely based on my opinion!

Enjoy!

𐔌 ﹒ ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ 𓂃 ₊ ⊹

Sungho - Multo

"Hindi pa ba sapat pagpapahirap sa'kin?"

-Sungho, the one that got away type of guy.

-Sa sobrang healthy ng relationship niyo, minumulto ka niya malala nung nag hiwalay na kayo haha bogsh.

Riwoo - Hinga

"Walang bituin 'pag walang kadiliman"

-Idk, I just feel like Riwoo is the type of guy na ready to risk everything?

-Kahit alam niyang bawal, kahit alam niyang ayaw ng tadhana, basta ang alam niya mahal ka niya. Basta ang mahalaga, mahal mo siya.

Jaehyun - Bagyo

"Lahat sila'y nagpapatuloy, ako'y di maka-alis"

-Opposite ni Sungho, siya yung di makatulog kasi binabagyo parin siya ng dating kayo.

-Pilit niyang hahanapin ang rason bakit kung may nagawa man siyang mali. Kasi handa rin siyang itama lahat? HUI.

Taesan - Di maaari

"Bakit kailangan ay biglaan ang pagsuko sa ‘tin ng tadhana"

-You two are doing just fine, hanggang sa sumuko nalang kayo.

-Bakit kailangan pang patagalin kung the first place ay pupunta lang naman kayo sa isa't isa when its convenient lang.

Leehan - Pahina

"Ngunit kung sarado na ang puso sa nadarama, pwede bang isipin mo kung bakit tayo nagsimula"

-Oh please, he's ready to risk na rin kaso ba't ikaw yung umurong???

-Nevertheless, same goes with Riwoo. He will still pursue you, he will wait for you. Pero ba't mo kasi iniwian bigla? Charot!

Woonhak - Siping

"Mayroon pa bang patutunguhan kung ako na lang, ang nag-iisang humihiling at nagbabakasali"

-Kaibahan lang kay Leehan, indenial 'to HAHAHHAHA

-Kayo yung alam niyo sa isa't isa na may iba na sa inyong dalawa. Kaso mo nga mutual frenemies kayo. Pero pano kung, pano kung, susugal na si Woonhak?

Special dedication: Boynextdoor - Silakbo

"Hayaang sumigaw ang pusong nabilanggo, sumabay na sa awitin pakinggan ang tibok"

-Sikalbo? Silakbo Mickey Mouse ver ni Gian? HAHAHAHHAHAH

-Eto na. Silakbo, nag iisang masaya at magaan na kanta sa Silakbo album. Despite everything they went through, Boynextdoor, as one, will always be the home and the comfort of each other.

-Love you guys! My boynextdoor🩵.

-To COJ, grabe rin kayo! HAHAHHA salamat sa mga musikang masakit ngunit yumayakap sa madilim na gabi❤️‍🩹.

✮⋆˙ Nagmamahal, bread:>

[toastbtterbread]

°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°

Doctor, doctor... ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

❤️‍🩹

⊹₊ ⋆𐙚 ... Help me

[toastbtterbread]

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

⊹ᡣ𐭩₊⋆ do i look like

.... him ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･