tobin-investigations

[tobin-investigations]

Realising that Avatar had failed to pick up the call and I had just gotten to an automated response I sat down. The usual contacts were all dead ends. I would have to find someone more amicable to my negotiations. Some force may be required to get through to them but well you know how it is needs must and all that.

So I put my hat on, took one last drink and headed of into the civil war.

It was raining but I knew what I must do. Fighting my lap pales around me I set of down the mean streets to speak to someone I hate above all else.

Me.

[tobin-investigations]

No you do not the Teletopia district already has it on loop. That is more than enough for the whole City.

The biggest tragedy about living in the City of the Saved is that Dugga Doo is not human and so has no place here, I'm tired of only hearing reruns of his music I wanna hear him perform live

[tobin-investigations]

Here at Tobin Investigations we are proud of our work in defeating that bitch Antipathy and would be very happy to for people grateful for this to pay our rent.

Thank you.

Someone tell that bitch Antipathy that I survived and he didn't, fuck you Antipathy I'm a card carrying Antipathy hater

[tobin-investigations]

Hi.

Do you want a crime solved?

Do you want to find out if your husbands sixth wife’s second husband’s partner is cheating on you with you literal other half?

Do you what to know who killed your best friend before you died?

Well you should call Laura Tobin. P.I.

She will solve the case, the whole, case and nothing more than the case.

New offer, now solving murder afterlife. only Avalible until the civil war ends.

Terms and Conditions apply

Tobin Investigations is not liable for any civil wars caused by the investigation nor are the liable for any additional deaths, maiming or torture committed during the investigation on anyone.

[tobin-investigations]

After Ms Al’dr left and I had finished me drink I started lining up to usual contacts, those in the Sons of Tepes, I even called House Halfling however Mrs McCrimmon only had this to say:

“I don’t know anything about any murders! The Grandfather is very busy with all this civil war stuff and I wouldn’t go around bothering them what with their old friends being involved such as they are. And I am sure you know all about this what with how it was you who started this mess in the first place! Goodbye.”

I would presumable be heading over to see the Grandfather Halfling at some point despite the rude rebuttal from the Victorian companion of his. So to put of the uncomfortable meeting I decided to call up on another one of my contacts, he was the one who had gotten me into this whole civil war mess in the first, so it was only fair he gave me leg up now.

Despite how he clearly owed me big time I still preferred not get involved with his lot. What with how they all worship death and all that, but I couldn’t put off for long. So I reach over picked up my phone spun the dial and called @goddaddyavatar.

“So Avatar” I said “what can you tell me about the Sherlock Holmes Serial Killer guy. I’m sure you got some information on this?”

[tobin-investigations]

We also obviously support this at Tobin Investigations, however if the crime you want me to solve is a crime of passion I want to be paired extra. I am not getting shot at over your love affair without due compensation.

We also find the Rump Parliament rather annoying. But for the sake of advertising needs must.

This pride month the Rump Parlement is siding with the LGBTQIA+ Community and are proudly asking the ex-deceased gays of the city to join our cause!

If you're queer but have yet to die you can preregister and have a spot waiting for you the moment you die!

[tobin-investigations]

She told me that recently several Sherlock Holmes’s had been murdered and despite the Great Detective agency working tirelessly to locate the murder she said they would not fin the killed. So tossing back my whiskey I asked the obvious question, “Why would they not? And why do you I could?”

She told me that I was the person who solved the first murder in the city and that I was clearly the most intelligent detective in the City, I disagreed and asked her who she was. Reaching I’ve the table and out seven of her leg on it she brought her mandibles close to my face and me she was remake of Irene Adler called I’e Al’dr and that her Sh’ok Hom’s and his Husband Jh’ Wh’t where some of the dead. I asked her again why she came to me and she said whoever is doing the killings knows exactly how the Sherlock Holmes’s think and that I would be an outside presence beyond the understanding of the one performing this crime.

So I did what I always did when I got a compliment and poured myself another whiskey. I say always the habit had only really taken effect after that nasty incident with the Civil War starting, which I would like to add was is no way my fault, and the fact I did not become host for a god queen has nothing to with this new war. When turned back and started to drink I saw that I’e was leaving she turned to me and said “Ms Tobin be careful who ever you face is clearly utterly insane the bodies have been hideously mutilated.”

“Ma’am” I say to her in an affected American P.I. Accent “I never deal with any one less than insane.

And with a chuckle and flutter of her wing I’e scuttles from my office.

Downing my drink I got to work.

[tobin-investigations]

The Afterlife Casebook of Laura Tobin P.I.

It was a cold night, three weeks ago the civil war had started and it was only partially my fault. The sound of bombs falling filled my head as a poured myself another whiskey, it was not on the rocks what with the current battle going on in the New Europan Ice Mines.

I threw back the slug and felt it sear my throat, it was the good stuff tapped directly from the whiskey seas of the greater distillery district. For them business must be booming, after all evryone need to forget.

I winced as I sat down, twelve slug where in me and only nine of them were booze the rest; those three weeks ago I would not even have had them in me. But now I can feel the lead shift under my skin.

God it feels good, the pain means you are alive and it had been so long since I had felt this kind of pain And thus this kind of alive.

After a while, and after a particular loud bomb I got to my feet think of going down to the clinic to get the lead shot removed, after all you can die again and despite the appeal it wasn’t for me, when a leggy blond walked in, and I’ve gotta tell you she had far to many legs. She had twelve of them for a start, probably some kind of posthuman from the latter parts of the millennium millennium millennium when that kind of body was all the range.

As soon as she walked in I knew she was trouble she had had the many facets eyes like carved emerald that just said bite me. So I did what any good gumshoe would do and offered her a drink of honey suckle. This bug ladies go wild for the stuff. After she politely refuse I poured myself another whisky chaser and then I sat down.

When those firm mandibles started to klick together I did not realise the trouble that would soon come my way.