*insert bring it on opening song lyrics here* also, my name is michael if you wanted to know.
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It’s now been over a week and I still can’t make myself believe that he’s really gone.
I have tried so many time to put into words what he meant to me but I just can’t.
Loving liam is the best decision I have ever made. The happiness and joy he brought to my life is something I will cherish forever.
To Liam, I’m sorry. I’m sorry my love couldn’t reach you when you needed it most. I’m sorry I couldn’t bring you the joy you brought me and so many others for so long. I know you were in pain and I wish there was anything I could have done to ease your burden. I hope, for my own comfort, that you saw and felt some of the love we put into the universe for you and I hope that wherever you are now your heart is at peace.
You truly changed my life in so many ways and now that you are gone I am forced to recognize the impact you had on me in ways I didn’t even realize. My promise to you is to live my life with love, kindness and gratitude as you lived yours and to love loudly and unashamed as you did.
Our time together in this lifetime is over, but I will carry a piece of you in my heart forever. People live on in the heats of the lives they touched, and my darling liam you will truly live forever.
Rest at peace my angel. ❤️
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Is anyone else constantly going back and forth between disbelief and crippling grief all the while going through life with a constant but sort of quiet sadness in you?
#ive had a super busy work week that i cant get away from so im just stuck with like random moments after i finish a task or take a shower or#just wake up and just feel sad.. and then have to get right back to work :(#i have a break coming up next week so hopefully i can just feel what i need feel with no pressure#i shouldve told my job a relative died tbh..
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I wish I could hug every single one of you that ever loved him, That grieved for HIM( not a band he was once in). I wish I could say thank you while looking in your eyes. I’ve posted endlessly for days and I’ll probably still rant cause I have a lot of feelings I don’t really know what to do with. But Thank you all for loving him. It may not have been enough to save him but thank you for trying and for loving and supporting him when I know he felt like the world did not.
You’re not alone. He wasn’t but I know he felt it. I hope every one of you on the other side of the screens hurting now know you’re not alone in this or anything else you’re going through. And if you truly feel you are, say hi. I don’t know you but I’d love to. I want nothing more than to carry on the love and light, warmth and goodness that he was. Reach out say hi, you have a friend here. But if not… still thank you for loving him.💙
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liam, light of my life, rest easy. love you forever, will miss you for always. don’t want to say goodbye and i won’t. you’ll always be a part of me, always in my heart.
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the finality of death will never stop feeling like the most unnatural thing in the world despite technically being one of the most natural things in the world... it's such a weird internal battle trying to conceptualize how this can possibly be real. it makes no sense that someone could be here only a handful of hours ago and now isn't. someone around my age gone in an instant. someone i watched grow up. it's too final and i hate that i have to come to terms with this
#ive just been thinking like#and sorry this is kind of morbid but#im gonna need time to accept him being gone just that fact by itself...#but then even once i do im gonna have to someone process the WAY this happened#because this wasnt some. i dont know. “normal” way of things.#like.... falling just seems like such an awful awful thing. like imagining it is like#doesnt feel like a real life thing its something reserved for movies to be extra shocking and horrifying#fuck
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It's really really hard to go about your life after this . What makes it harder is how my life is physically not at all affected by him being gone. It's so difficult to digest that. He wasn't part of my life physically. None of my friends feel things like I do because he wasn't part of their lives at all. That's the reason i keep coming back. To the people who lost him like I did. Tumblr has always been a safe place. But now in times like this, it's a whole another level of a comfort. A hug, that's what it's like being here. Like we're all in a virtual room, all saddened and all missing him. I'm thankful for this place.
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