toki-pona - Tumblr blog

[toki-pona]

confession: two weeks ago my friends got sick of me slowly cooking to death in my self-pitying emotional soup of heartbreak, took me out for drinks, and installed a dating app on my phone. we are all in the same degree at uni (i'm 25 + i promise this is relevant), in a faculty that is extremely quaint and mostly comprised of academics married to people with normal jobs. two years ago a teacher-couple joined our program's faculty, a fact that caused a minor riot within the teaching staff, who thought it was unfair to give two of four tenured jobs to a couple... unfortunately for them both of these profs are extremely beloved among the students and very good teachers at that. even if you've never taken classes from either of them, you know about this couple and probably whatever rumors are going around about them too. i've taken classes w/ both.

anyway. back to me on the dating app in the bar with my friends, pretty drunk, swiping though my bumble suggestions. for extra fun, we have set the minimum age to 30 and the gender to include "both" even though i am a lesbian. the whole table is viciously tearing down dating profiles, investigating their pictures, etc. i go to the bar to get another round for the group, am about to pay for our drinks when i hear a virtual SHRIEK from our corner. i get back, dish our drinks out. my phone is in the middle of the table, untouched by anyone like it's a cursed object. i look at the screen. it's them, our teacher couple. they have a shared dating profile, stating that they are "looking for someone to explore her bisexuality with". lesbian readers will know that this is not exactly an uncommon profile type to find, but still, seeing it from people who have taught basically everything you know about 19th century literature is... quite something. so naturally i decide to swipe right before anyone can stop me.

maia, i am so proud to report: i fucked that man's wife, she was absolutely lovely, and we will see each other again, and i am currently taking another class from her husband where the vibe is more than chill. my friends have been sworn to secrecy, but i know it's only a matter of time before someone slips up and the rumor mill starts churning... but who cares? i haven't thought about my ex since!

OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT

[toki-pona]

NOT THE GAMER MUZZLE

[toki-pona]

My duck duck goose tactic when you’re it was start with “goose.” No one expects it and by the time they register it you’re vanished into the night

[toki-pona]

Reminder: Bi Visibility Day is September 23. Remember to leave cookies out for Freddie.

[toki-pona]

every now and then i get head-rush remembering that i quoted dan howell in an academic grad school paper

[toki-pona]

[toki-pona]

i love that the satellites in 17776 r like actual satellites or whatever. satellite rpf. i see news abt the actual ones and i go hey thats my friend from football

[toki-pona]

Almost 200 killed and over 700 injured today after Israel’s attacks in Lebanon. Nearly 400 air strikes in only a few hours with more expected to come.

[toki-pona]

me getting silly in the pussy if im being honest ?

[toki-pona]

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

[toki-pona]

i like how this is written as if sitelen pona is an ancient, uncovered writing system from a long forgotten society

ma'am that long forgotten society is named Sonja Lang and she has an instagram account and github page?????

[toki-pona]

a confession that idk how to make sound normal: i used to hook up with this guy i met last september and it was great, they were cool and beyond the whole hooking up bit they were a good friend, and then they realized they were aroace and we stopped hooking up but yknow stayed close friends, and recently i came out to my family as a trans man and that Did Not Go Well but their family ended up kind of claiming me as one of them and now i live with them and call them all my family. which means the guy i call my brother is also technically an ex

oh my god

[toki-pona]

nobody watches game grumps

[toki-pona]

i was watching my girlfriend screenshare nightcore and we did a beautiful dance. this is what true love looks like

[toki-pona]

the biggest things in the world are also some of the largest. the wise know ythis

[toki-pona]

Concept: A gender reveal party but AFTER the kid is born.

Like when the kid is 6 or 12 or 18 or 24. When the kid has decided what their gender is or isn’t.

[toki-pona]

brb trying this